


I'll Be Waiting

by theornament



Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF, Real Person Fiction, The Avengers (2012), The Deep Blue Sea (2011), Thor (Movies) RPF, Unrelated (2007)
Genre: Angst, Complete, F/M, Feels, Fluff and Smut, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-27
Updated: 2013-06-05
Packaged: 2017-12-13 03:59:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 119,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/819728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theornament/pseuds/theornament
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rebecca Wright is a volunteer handler that works at a handful of multi-genre conventions in the tri-state area.  She has been asked, as a favor, by a promoter friend of hers, to come in last minute, to take over handling duties for a major star at his convention.  When she arrives, she finds she will be the personal assistant to none other than Tom Hiddleston, the one person in the world she probably shouldn't be handling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter I

**Author's Note:**

> Tom/OC. OC is a volunteer handler and has been called in to do her friend, the convention director, a favor. This is going to be a long one and it’s a bit of a slow build, but hang on if you can. I would love feedback!

It was going to be a great weekend. At least I kept telling myself that. I remember I had been reluctant to answer my phone when Brian had called, but he was desperate and needed my help, and I was, as he enjoyed reminding me, the best in the business. I just wished I got paid to do what I did. I sometimes felt like a fraud calling myself a Professional Handler when I was only a gopher, a volunteer to help care for guest talent at conventions. To anticipate their every need, to make sure they were well fed and kept safe from the public. I had an uncanny ability to blend into a crowd, but also keep the talent safe from the desperate grasping hands of the most ardent fan. I was also able to disconnect from the razzle dazzle, the awe of celebrity. I was a professional mommy and sometimes bodyguard.

The automatic doors to the hotel swooshed open, the frigid air conditioning blowing out into the unusually warm October afternoon. The wheels of my carry-on bag click-clicked over the marble floor as I looked around the lobby for a familiar face. I had worked this convention off and on for a few years; I knew quite a few of the staff. And it looked as if no one was here to meet me and give me my marching orders for the weekend. The lobby was humming with sustained excitement from the early attendees. The convention officially kicked off the next afternoon, but there were a few pockets of cosplayers in groups, squealing and laughing loudly, walking around the lobby along with harried staff and volunteers. But no one I recognized immediately. Pulling my carry-on, I walked up to the hotel registration and checked in. Familiar tiny envelope holding two plastic room keys, four nights, check out is at 11a on the last day, please feel free to eat in our four star restaurant, and please enjoy your stay. Same old song and dance. I took my room keys and walked to the elevators to go up to my room. I smiled to myself, knowing this would be the one and only time I wouldn't have to wait ten minutes for a bloody elevator to take me anywhere. This time tomorrow, and for the next three day, it would be full of Homestuck, Hetalia, Silent Hill, and Dr Who cosplayers, along with their parents and regular hotel guests. The doors snicked open; Brian was inside on the phone. His eyes lit up when he recognized me as I boarded and pushed the button for floor sixteen.

“I don't care, please...just go ask Matt, he’s in the business office, he should have the extra duct tape....ok, if you can't find him or the tape, then go to registration, and they’ll probably have some...anything else? Cool, text if you need anything.” Brian shoved his phone into his pocket, his eyes squeezing closed in frustration. 

I looked at him sideways and smirked. “So! Everything going alright?” I grinned. I knew he was busy and frustrated and relieved to see me. 

He gave me some serious side eye as he began reaching for me. “Becca, shut up and show me some love. How was your drive down? Uneventful?” Brian asked as he pulled me in a fierce hug. It was the hug of an overworked and exhausted man, and his weekend of fun had just begun. 

I patted him on the back, giving him one last squeeze before pulling away. “It was fine, same old drive. I was surprised you phoned. What happened to your other handler?”

Brian rolled his eyes skyward and sighed. “Julie decided she didn't want to help at the last minute. You know how she claims to be so good at her job and helpful, has so much experience and has all of these contacts and has handled blah blah blah celebrities and she is the biggest flake I’ve ever worked with. But I have to play nice with the woman since she’s BFF’s with some important industry people. Pisses me off. You’d think I’d learn my damned lesson and not ask her to help, but I can't not ask her - she’d spread that info like wildfire and then my guest contacts would dry up. Dammit, I hate playing this bullshit game of politics. But I’m glad you are here!” Brian winked. I laughed as the doors to the elevator opened to the sixteenth floor. Brian followed me out and walked with me to my room. I noticed I was down the hall with some of the suites. It looked as if they put me on the same floor as the talent - ah, this must be the green room and private party floor for the guests.

“Well, I don't like dealing with her either, my dear, but she is who she is and we have to work with her if we want to make nice in this field. Especially in the Midwest, for god’s sake.” I pulled out my key and opened the door to my room. Standard double queen room, bathroom to the right, TV armoire to the left, requisite chair and table with large lamp in the corner. And a door to the next room on the left wall. “This part of the country is way too small, and we all know each other too well, so it makes dealing with her difficult.” 

I turned the light on in the bathroom area and walked into the main room. “The hotel remodel is quite nice. I’ll miss the tacky eighties bedspreads and pastel southwest pottery art prints,” I said, turning and winking at Brian.

“Yes, I’m glad they finished in time for the event. But I will always have a soft spot for the dingy decor.” Brian walked over and sat on the farthest bed, leaning back onto his hands and sighing heavily. I pulled my suitcase onto the bed closest to the bathroom and unzipped, preparing to unpack. Brian watched me; he was suddenly curiously quiet. It was out of character for him. He was bubbly and happy to see me moments ago. I knew he wasn't interested in watching me unpack my undies; he didn't bat for my team, and something was on his mind.

“Brian? What is it? Did you really want to help me unpack or did you have something to talk to me about? Or are you thinking of hiding in my room all weekend?” Brian looked up at me, his eyes crinkled with suppressed mirth and exhaustion. I grinned, grabbing my toiletries from my suitcase, and walked them to the bathroom.

“Well, I wanted to let you know who you’d be handling this weekend. I didn't want to just have a volunteer hand you the binder without me talking to you about it first. And hopefully when I tell you, you will understand why I asked you to come in and do it.” 

I came back to the bed and pulled my socks from my carry-on. This was intriguing, and I didn't understand. I knew he wanted me to help, but I wasn't anything super fantastic to be brought in for extra special cases; I wasn't that great. I mean I was good at what I did, but I wasn't a specialist. Usually when I was working a convention, I would show up and a guest packet would be handed to me and then I was done. I would have no idea ahead of time who I was working with, and I was curious that Brian wanted to speak to me about it now. I narrowed my eyes at him. “Alright? What do you mean?”

Brian cleared his throat and shifted to the edge of the bed. “I originally asked Julie to do it because of who she is, and she wanted very much to come in and specifically handle him for the weekend; in fact she begged me to do it, so I said sure. But for the last few months she had been bugging me for his personal contact info, not just the phone and email through his agency, but his personal cell number and private email. She kept telling me that she wanted to ‘get to know him better to help her do her job’, so I refused to give it to her. She should have known better; if she’s such a professional, she knew I couldn't break that kind of confidentiality with a guest. Anyway, she acted really weird about it, almost obsessive. So, when she decided this past weekend she wasn't coming, I called you. I know you won't act any differently around him or treat him in a way that would make him uncomfortable. I need someone to handle him and take good care of him, not try to make him feel awkward, you know? He’s only appeared at the big conventions before and I want his first impression of a mid-sized event to be a good one,” Brian said, his brow furrowed. Julie’s behavior upset him, I could tell by the look on his face. Julie was a starfucker, without the sex. She loved to “collect” celebrities, to make claim on them to make herself feel important and relevant. That’s not the way it was, at least not in my book. Being a handler to a celebrity who is already on guard because they are at a public event for the weekend, in a strange city surrounded by people they didn't know, making sure they are safe and taken care of and they get their own space, you treat them like they are family visiting from out of town. You don't try to worm into their life and become their very best friend. Her actions frustrated me.

“Yes I know. So her flaking out on you was a blessing in disguise, then?” I smiled, pulling open the armoire and putting my unmentionables in the drawers.

“I suppose you could look at it like that. I’m just glad your weekend was free. You really did save my ass on this one. I owe you one,” Brian said, smiling.

“Ha! We’ll see about that. You haven't told me who this mysterious person is yet,” I said, laughing at him and emptying my suitcase of straggling miscellanea.

Brian watched me put the rest of my things away and zip up the empty carry-on. After hanging up all of the clothes I couldn't put in the drawers and stowing my suitcase in the closet, I walked out from the bathroom area and he just grinned at me.

“Brian, are you going to tell me or what? You’re sure as hell beating around the bush about it. Who is it?” I asked, watching him. His cheeks were pink with excitement, and for someone who was in charge of an entire convention and who had met countless celebrities in his day, he was acting a little weird. I was waiting.

“You are handling Tom Hiddleston.”

I stared at him. I couldn’t speak. I felt my stomach fall to my knees and a furious blush race up my neck and settle nicely onto my cheeks. It took every stitch of decorum I had to keep my shit together as I stared quietly at him. Inside my head, I was screaming. I raised my eyebrows in surprise and swallowed thickly.

“Oh - oh? Really? I had no idea you got him. Well done...wow. And you want...me to be his, uh...his handler for the weekend then?” I felt ridiculous; I wasn't going to make it through the rest of this conversation. He was going to find out and it would all be over.

“Yes I do. You are the only person I trust to take good care of him. I’ve got his guest packet on the way up here so you can go over his paperwork. Once you’ve gotten caught up on his rider and his needs, please make sure you get over to his room to have him fill out the necessaries and get it back to me when you can. I’ve also included a few copies of the convention schedule, along with his personal schedule, so you know where he needs to be when and all of that. I emailed the Drive link to his schedule if you want it.” Brian stood up and walked towards my door. My knees started knocking. “You won't have to go very far; he’s already checked in, and I put you in the room next to his in case he needed anything, so if you want, you can just pop in next door and introduce yourself after you’ve done your homework. Sound alright?”

I smiled and nodded; I was incapable of intelligent speech at the moment. Brian’s phone chose that time to ring, and with a wave, he left with the phone to his ear. My door shut quietly behind him and I sat down heavily on the bed. I stared at the wall directly in front of me. TOM HIDDLESTON WAS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THAT WALL. 

This was ridiculous. I was a professional and I had to get it together. But what my head and what my emotions were doing were completely separate things. I didn't know him personally, but I knew him. I had spent many an hour looking up interviews on YouTube, scrolling Tumblr, and watching his movies and TV appearances over and over again. And it all started out so innocently. But then again, it always does.

Being the huge sci/fi and superhero geek that I was, and having a predilection for the villain in any movie, I watched him in his first commercially successful movie, Thor. I had made a mental note that he was terribly attractive with his soft darkness, and then filed that info away for a later date. I hadn't thought of him until the movie blockbuster of the summer of 2012, the Avengers. A colorful blend of all the previous superhero movies in the Marvel universe come together to fight the beautiful brooding younger brother, Loki, and his adopted army of the Chitauri. Watching him in all his IMAX 3D glory, I was in absolute awe watching this fragile beauty of a man, and I was officially hooked. At first it was all about LOKI, and then I slowly watched the first of his Avengers interviews, then his older Thor interviews, and then branched out to his earlier works in independent films and his limited television career. I was only watching for the comedic value and to get an idea of who this young actor was, I swear...at least that’s what I told myself. Then I abandoned my official Tumblr account that I used for funny cats and movie gifs and began stalking His tag under a Hiddleston specific URL. Scrolling, scrolling, scrolling...I couldn't stop myself. I had to look at him, I had to hear him, and I had to see his smiling face on my screen. He crept slowly into my psyche, worked his way into every aspect of my waking hours that not a minute went by that he wasn't on my mind. I was enthralled, and he was in the next room, waiting for me. I jumped at a sudden knock on my door. Taking a deep breath, I walked over and looked through the peephole. It was a staff runner. I cleared my throat and opened the door.

“Hi there! Here is Mr. Hiddleston’s guest packet. Brian said to get it filled out and back to him as soon as you can.” The runner was tall and thin with a mess of mousy brown hair, wearing multi-colored horns on his head and green demon contacts. I took the packet, smiling at him. I adored the volunteers. His cosplay brought me back to reality. No time to fangirl; I had a job to do.

“Thank you very much!” I said, waving and shutting the door behind the volunteer as he ran down the hall towards the elevators. I opened the plastic binder to double check his paperwork and study his entertainment rider.

“Dear Mr. Hiddleston, 

Welcome to SF-Con, the premiere multi-genre convention of the Midwest...”

I grinned as I read the welcome letter. So surreal; I’d never paid much attention to these form letters, but it gave me a silly thrill to see it addressed to Himself. I got my serious face on as I made sure all the required paperwork he needed to sign was in the packet. I then flipped to the back to find his entertainment rider. I pulled this gingerly from the binder and went to the overstuffed chair to sit and read. So this is what was sent out by his agent to any convention he would ever participate in... I tried not to grin like a fool as I began reading through the legalese and getting to the point of what Mr. Hiddleston would need for the weekend.

Travel expenses, lodging, meals, green room access, panels...everything was the standard normal rider I had seen for many other actors, nothing out of the ordinary. Oh wait; this is what I was looking for: 

Mr. Hiddleston requests fresh fruit and bottled water be available in any green room and in his hotel room throughout the duration of his appearance. Interesting. I wondered if Brian had seen this and had this waiting for him in his room before he arrived. I made a note to text Brian later. 

Mr. Hiddleston’s alcohol of choice is any single-malt scotch, preferably Jameson or Bushmills. This should be made available to him in the green room and in his hotel room at all times. Another note; my god this man had expensive taste in his choice of liquor. But I knew Jameson was a favorite of his, and I clenched my teeth to stay on task. 

Mr. Hiddleston also requests his in-room refrigerator have fresh juices and the following snacks available... I jumped up and pulled over the messenger bag. I reached in and grabbed my pink highlighter and started highlighting all of the personal things in his rider. Since I didn't negotiate the back end of these things, I had to make a list to go over with Brian before I went next door and introduced myself, in case I needed to bring him anything he needed that wasn't taken care of before his arrival. 

(Optional) Mr. Hiddleston humbly requests a variety of boutique chocolates be available in his hotel room throughout his appearance, quantity up to the discretion of the event. I giggled and bit my lip. Oh, but of course he’d want something sweet in his room; he did have quite a sweet tooth. 

I looked up from his rider and squeezed my eyes shut as tight as I could, taking a very deep breath. No, no, no... I could feel the familiar icy hot rush of dopamine begin to race through my veins, settling menacingly behind my belly button. I was not going to do this; I am not going to do this! I capped my highlighter and flipped his rider around and shoved it back into his binder. Sitting on the edge of my chair, I stared at the door between our two rooms. I felt ridiculous and I knew better than this. If I couldn't get my shit together... My hands were moist as I dug my nails into the fleshy part of my palms. I was a grown ass woman having a ridiculous problem. I had worked with some amazing talent over the past few years at many other conventions; this should be no different. But, it was different. This was someone I admired and fawned over, and I would be in close proximity with him for the next seventy-two hours. I didn't know if I was capable of keeping it together. I looked down at my phone sitting on the table next to the binder. I could text Brian and let him know I couldn't do this, see if he could find someone else to handle Him. My God, no wonder Julie wanted all of his personal information. At this point, knowing what I know now, I’m not sure I could blame her... No, it was her creepy factor and sudden exit that forced Brian to reach out to me to come in and help. My professionalism and my ability to help the talent feel at ease in their situation. Especially because of all of the hair-brained fans Hiddleston had been accumulating. I grabbed my phone. All of the Twitter scandals, the fan meltdowns on Tumblr; I had been a cautious observer on the fringes, watching all of that unfold. Everyone had to have their opinion and their two cents, and I stayed silent and watched. I dialed Brian’s number.

“Yes!” Brian said in a frustrated rush.

“Brian, hey, it’s me. Listen, I’ve gone through Hiddleston’s binder and I -” I what? Was I going to give up and go home? Was I going to ask him to place me with someone else? Was I going to tell him, “Hey Brian, I know you called on me to help you with Tom and you are paying for my room and food for the weekend, not to mention the three hour drive it took me to get here, but, dude, I just can't help with Hiddleston because I can't guarantee that he won't be molested by yours truly...” 

“Yeah! Did you need something from me? Wait,” Brian said, the phone making shuffling noises and the signal cut in and out briefly. “I forgot to tell you, Tom has a private, guest-only dinner tonight off site for all of the talent. Did you see that in the schedule?” Brian asked. I could hear the convention floor in the background. He must be at registration. 

I stuttered and groped for the schedule in the binder, “Uh...yeah, I did see that. Brian, I have something I need to...”

“Listen, I went through the personal requests in his rider, and the only thing I didn't get in his room are his bottles of Jameson. They are in the green room on the same floor as you, room 1642. You should have a room key in your binder to get you in there, so please feel free to grab them and take them to him. They are under the counter in the kitchen. Other than that, everything else should be in his room already. Anything else?” Brian asked. 

I closed my eyes, squeezing them tightly. My tongue felt like lead. I couldn't go through with it, I couldn't let Brian down. “No, hon, that was all. Thank you for letting me know. I’ll head over there now and get them to him. I’ll text you if I need anything else.” I hung up. Time to put on my big girl pants and go meet Tom.

I grabbed Tom’s guest binder and shoved it into my messenger bag and tossed it on the second bed. If I was going to go meet the man and break it to him that I belonged to him for the weekend, then I better make sure I looked decent. I walked to the bathroom to take a really good look in the mirror. I had piled my hair on top of my head before leaving my apartment this morning and my face was make-up free. I looked decent enough; the front layers of my bangs framed my face alright. I could have styled it a little better, but I would save that for later. I dug around in my toiletry kit and pulled out the necessary makeup tools and went to work. I didn't wear a lot of makeup in the real world, but when I worked a convention, I wanted to look my best. 

As I leaned toward the mirror to apply my mascara, my mind wandered to next door. Good lord, how was I going to handle this? Brian had inadvertently given me care and charge of the one person he probably shouldn't have, and he had no idea why. I wasn't worried about doing a bad job; I was worried that I wouldn't be able to relax enough to do a great job. Hell, once I introduced myself, he may be the type of celebrity that didn't want a handler following him around; he may just want to go it alone. And even if that was the situation, Brian would want me to ghost Tom just in case. I knew Brian would most likely have some security plants in the crowd to make sure Tom was safe when we were walking to a panel or live event. But the fact remained that, regardless if Tom needed me or not, I was stuck with him in some capacity for the next three days. I owed it to Brian to do a good job, I owed it to Tom to make sure he had a great time, and I owed it to myself to make sure my reputation remained that way.

I smoothed on the last of the lip stain and squeezed my lips together. After a quick once over, I decided I had dawdled enough and left the bathroom. I grabbed my messenger bag, making sure I had all keys to the hotel rooms and his binder. I shoved my phone in the pocket of my black jeans and headed out the door. 

Pulling my hotel room door closed, I looked up and down the hall to get my bearings. Looked like 1642 was on the opposite side of this floor. The sleeping towers were built in an H-shape, so it was pretty easy to find which room you needed. Going left, I walked through the quiet hallway towards the elevators. I didn't see anyone about, nor did I hear anyone. Most likely the majority of guests hadn't arrived yet. And because this floor was specifically allotted for senior staff and guest use, it would be pretty quiet, at least until everyone got here and checked in. After that it was going to be a crazy cacophony of famous people acting like normal people; drinking, yelling, laughing, giving each other a hard time, and, on occasion, hooking up as discreetly as possible, and other times NOT so discreetly. 

Walking in front of the elevators, I made a quick left and went down the opposite hall towards the green room. Finding the double doors of the suite, I pulled out the room key and let myself in. The suite was large; the main room was a common sitting room complete with working kitchen with a bar to my right, enormous luxury bathroom complete with Jacuzzi tub and shower on my left, and a LCD TV in the center sitting in a huge armoire with surround sound and plush couches and chairs. Doors on the opposite walls opened to sleeping rooms that connected to the main area, while ahead of me on either side of the TV armoire were sheer curtains that covered sliding glass doors leading out to a balcony that spanned the length of the main room. To the left of me in front of the sleeping room door was a staircase against the wall that lead up to an upper sleeping area. I had been in this hotel before; I knew the stairs lead up to a large king sized bed and private bathroom with another Jacuzzi tub and separate shower. I smiled to myself, knowing someone from staff would be up later to move all the furniture up against walls to make room for the late night staff and guest-only parties. 

I shut the door behind me and went into the kitchen area and started rootling around for the bottles of Jameson. I found the dark green boxes in the back under the sink, three bottles of Jameson Limited Reserve 18-year old Irish whiskey. Holy shit! Brian was trying to impress Mr. Hiddleston; this was not cheap. I grabbed two of the three bottles and put the third one back in its hidey hole. I’m sure Tom would want to drink some of it here when he spent time with the other guests. If he came to spend time here with the other guests, that is...but I’m sure he would. He does enjoy talking, and last I had checked, he was friendly enough. I stood up and placed the two bottles in my messenger bag and left the room. Pulling the door shut behind me, I leaned up against it and took a very deep breath. 

I looked down the hall at where the elevators were, and my heart started beating loudly against my chest. It felt like all my blood had been replaced with ice water, and my knees went weak as I stood there, staring blankly down the beige hallway. The time had come for me to go to Tom’s room to introduce myself, and I was both excited and filled with dread. Like any other fangirl, I had dreamed and thought of the day I would meet Him; this was not what I had in mind. A chance meeting on the streets of London, seeing each other across a crowded party, or being singled out in a red carpet autograph line - that is what I had in mind. But this, it was just going to be Tom and me, in his room, by ourselves, and I knew it was going to be awkward as hell. I wouldn't have anyone to help deflect my nerves or use as a clever distraction if things went bad. I was on my own.

Somehow I found my feet and began to walk down the hallway back towards his hotel room. Passing the new and modern Scandinavian decor of the hotel hallway, I took deep cleansing breaths, trying to calm myself down. Again, I chastised myself for feeling ridiculous and made my way over the plush new hotel carpet. Past the elevators and my own hotel door, I found that Mr. Hiddleston was himself staying in a rather large suite. I cleared my throat and knocked lightly on the right side of his double doors and waited.

I could hear a faint and muffled one-sided conversation on the other side of the door - he was most likely on the phone - and then I heard it. I stifled a giggle, slapping my hand over my mouth so he couldn't hear me. It was short and quiet, but I heard the unmistakable ‘Ehehehe' coming from the source itself. I almost turned and ran. Instead, I removed my hand from my face and knocked again, this time a little louder to get his attention in case he hadn't heard me the first time. The muffled sound of his voice stopped on the other side of the door and all went quiet as I felt footsteps in his room move towards me. The urge to leave was almost uncontrollable as the next few seconds seemed to stretch into hours as I waited for that door to open. It was now or never...

The door to my left opened and I was met with 6’2” of slick blonde curls and the bluest green eyes imaginable. He was exactly as everyone had described when they met him in person; beautiful, unreal, magic. He gave me a quick, yet thorough once over as I stood there, trying not to stare. My brain had forgotten how to speak and I had to remind myself to breathe. I had lost the ability to...

“Hello?” He said, his brows furrowing briefly in a confused smile. I could feel my eyes widen as he looked at me.


	2. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter II

I cleared my throat of the permanent lump that had taken up residence. “Uh...hi there. Brian sent me to introduce myself. I’ll be your personal handler for the weekend.” I smiled, trying my best not to grin like a psychopath. I felt like I was failing.

Tom’s face transformed, his eyebrows raising in recognition, his mouth forming a small brief “oh” and then relaxing into his famous 4000 megawatt smile, his tongue peeking through his teeth ever so slightly. I will be dead by morning. Please tell my parents I loved them...

“Oh, fantastic! Please come in.” Tom moved back to allow me entrance. I smiled sheepishly and walked into his room. It was a mirror image of the green room suite; the large common room with the kitchen on the left and the bathroom to my right. Huge LCD TV armoire, plush furniture, sliding glass doors to the balcony, staircase winding up to the upper sleeping room, and the doors to additional sleeping rooms that connected to the main room. Wait. My heart plunged deep into my belly. Holy SHIT, that was the door to my room - dead, dead, dead...

“I hope you will forgive me. I was on the phone and thought I heard a knock earlier. I didn't keep you waiting too long, did I?” Tom asked. I looked over my shoulder, watching him walk around to face me. He towered over me with his smile, his eyes crinkling with amusement. I couldn't count how many times I had seen this exact face in photos or in his movies.

“Oh! Not long at all, really. I only knocked twice,” I said, swallowing the fangirl giggle that bubbled up inside of me. I settled on a strained smile to keep from laughing nervously. 

“I’m glad you weren't waiting long. I was just checking in with my agent, assuring him of my safe arrival,” Tom said, grinning apologetically at me and walking to one of the plush chairs in the seating area. He beckoned me to come join him, so I forced myself forward and sat on the edge of the couch, taking off my messenger bag and placing it at my feet. He waited for me to get settled, then took a seat across from me, sitting forward with his elbows on his knees. 

Oh, just looking at him was both wonderful and nerve wracking. He had his natural hair color, and it had grown out a bit, framing his ears and skimming the nape of his neck. It fell in thick waves around his head, and I realized he looked as he did when walking the red carpet at the BAFTAs in 2012, but with a little unshaven scruff on his chin. Well, hello there, Prince Hal, I thought I recognized you... Tom’s eyes were the most beautiful shade of blue green I had ever seen. I couldn't tell if they were bluer or greener; I wish I could have gotten away with spending time staring at him to make that decision. He was wearing one of his standard white t-shirts, accompanied by his favorite grey jeans and his ever present brown boots. He looked like he had stepped out of my Tumblr.

“So, tell me what you will be doing for me this weekend! I’ve not been to many of these conventions, and even then my publicist is usually with me. What will you be doing exactly?” Tom cocked his head to the side, looking at me with interest; his tongue peeked out and licked his bottom lip. This was it, I told myself, make a good impression. You are a professional, you can do this.

“Well, I will be your personal liaison to the convention; if you need anything, I will do my best to get it for you. I will also be here to make sure that, during any panels or autograph sessions, you are comfortable, protected, and safe from anyone that could get too close to you. I will also make sure you get to your scheduled events on time. Anything you need, I will be at your disposal for the entire weekend.” I gave my default speech that I would give any of my celebrities. It was good to go on autopilot. 

Tom listened, his brow furrowing slightly, his right forefinger rubbing across his upper lip; it must have been his listening face. He smiled briefly and nodded in acknowledgement. “Well, that was very thoughtful of Brian to provide me with your assistance.” Tom smiled again as he rubbed his hands together. “I’m not sure how you could assist me, but it will be good to have the company. I will have to thank him when I see him next. And thank you for taking the time to follow me around all weekend. I’ll do my best not to be a diva,” Tom said with a wink.

I blinked at him, mentally making a list of things I’d like to do to him. Barring jumping on his chair and crawling my way up his body to show him exactly what I’d like to do next, I reached into my messenger bag and pulled out his guest binder. “This is for you. It’s a welcome packet with your schedule for the weekend and copies of your rider to double check and make sure we’ve covered all of your requested needs. There’s also some legal paperwork in there that you will need to sign and return to me, and I’ll get that to Brian.” Tom reached for the binder I offered him. “There are also several copies of your weekend schedule in there, so if you want a printed copy for yourself, or if you end up misplacing one, there are extras in there for you. I also have a digital copy in my phone, which is with me at all times.” Tom opened the binder and looked through it a moment, then closed it, still listening me drone on. “Looks like Brian also included a bag of sharpies, along with some pens for your use for the weekend. If you want me to carry those, I’d be happy to, since we’ll be together for all of your public events. There is also a guest badge in there; please make sure you have this on you at all times when you are on the convention floor so they don’t throw you out. Oh, and these.” I reached back into my messenger bag and pulled out the bottles of Jameson I had stashed earlier. Tom looked at me, his eyes widening and settling into one of his beautiful smiles.

“Oh ho ho! Amazing! Are these for me?” He asked, looking astonished and truly surprised. Tom held the emerald green boxes that held his liquor of choice as he read the outside. “Eighteen year old reserve...so Brian wants me completely pissed all weekend?” 

I laughed, watching him open one of the boxes and pull out the bottle. He unscrewed the top and inhaled deeply, his eyes closing in bliss. “I don't think that's what Brian had in mind, but they are yours as a thank you for coming, and, of course, to enjoy while you are here,” I said, smiling the first genuine smile I had since entering Tom’s room. Thankfully, I was beginning to relax around him a little. As long as I could separate the fangirl from the job I had to do, there was a little hope.

Tom threw his head back and laughed, screwing the lid back on the bottle. “Well, I will be making good use of these when I’m not on the clock, so to speak. Thank you for these; this is very generous of you.” He got up from his seat and walked the bottles over to the bar in the kitchen. I turned and watched him as discreetly as I could - so graceful for such a tall and lanky man. My mind wandered to all the images I had seen of him behind the scenes, the physical training for his movies. He was here, in the flesh, walking back towards me to sit, looking quite happy. I mentally shook myself. “And this paperwork, what is it exactly?” Tom asked, opening his binder and flipping through the pages once again. 

I sat forward so I could see all the info Brian had included in his packet. “The convention is a not-for-profit corporation; each guest they are compensating financially has to fill out paperwork for tax purposes. Feel free to read through it and sign it when you are done. And if you have any questions, just let me know and I’ll do my best to help.” Tom scanned over the pages, not looking very interested, and flipped past them to look over his schedule. A silence fell in the room, and I felt awkward again. I allowed myself to watch him as he read a bit. A long curl fell across his forehead as he read. I felt my fingers itch with the urge to curl it behind his ear, so I sat back farther into the couch to keep from jumping up to do so. I could hear his breathing as he flipped through his schedule, and I could feel unexpected heat flush up my neck. I should leave. “Uh...I can leave this with you to look over on your own. According to your schedule, you don't have anything to do until dinner this evening, so if you wish, I can leave you to it or -?” I said, not wanting him to feel I had to be glued to his side for the entire weekend. 

Tom looked up from his reading; his arm snaked out and his warm hand closed over mine. I bit my lower lip hard as he looked up at me with his very blue eyes. “No, no, please stay. I can read this later. I would like to get to know you, if that’s alright. I mean, we will be with each other all weekend, yes?” He asked, smiling and squeezing my hand gently. His fingers slipped through my own; they were incredibly soft and warm for a man’s hands. His touch was very gentle, and I could feel myself relax a little more. 

I squeezed him back. “Of course, sure...I’ll be happy to stay for a bit,” I said, surprised my brain had been able to work out how to speak again.

“Good!” Tom pulled his hand from mine, closed the binder, and placed it on the coffee table in front of us. I resisted the urge to reach for his hand as it left mine, so I settled for balling my fingers into a soft fist, trying to hold onto the warmth of him a little bit longer. “Now, tell me about yourself. I would like to know about you, if that’s alright,” he said, smiling very humbly. 

I wasn't used to celebrities wanting to know anything about me at all, only where they needed to go and if they would have water at their signing tables, or where exactly the green room was so they could go and unwind. This was new...and dangerous. “Well, I - I’m not sure what you’d want to know really. I’ve been working as a personal handler for conventions in the area for a few years now. I’ve handled anime voice actors, musicians, artists, writers, you name it. It’s not my real world job, but I do enjoy doing this very much. If I could do this full time, I think I would jump at the chance. You get to meet a lot of interesting people you wouldn't normally,” I said. 

Tom was watching me; his eyes narrowing a bit, his tongue darted out briefly over his bottom lip. “So you don't do this full time? You aren't part of the staff?” he asked.

“Oh, no, Brian is a good friend I’ve known for years, back in the old Goth scene... He puts on several conventions in the area and he asked me to come in to help. I’m always happy to come and work any of his events.” I smiled. I felt like I was at some strange job interview, but I supposed it would make sense. He’d want to know my credentials like anyone else in his position. 

Tom closed his eyes and laughed quietly. “Now that we have your CV, tell me about you.”

I could feel my brows furrow. I wasn't used to this. I was stumped. What should I say? “Well, I’m not sure what you’d want to know really. No one’s ever asked me about myself before. What would you like to know?” I was better at being asked questions; I didn't feel right offering up who I was to the world. I preferred to hide away in the shadows.

He leaned forward on his knees with his elbows again. “Well, darling, a name would be a good start.”

My eyes widened and I did a mental facepalm. You forgot to tell him your name, you idiot! I tried to laugh it off. “Oh! Sorry about that...I must have, well. Sorry...my name is Rebecca Wright.” And I stuck out my hand automatically in introduction. 

Tom grinned at me and reached for my hand, sliding his fingers slowly along my own and finally into a proper handshake. His touch sent ripples from the center of my palm and up my arm to bloom through the rest of my body. If I could have snatched my hand back and not looked rude, I would have. “Tom Hiddleston. Delighted to meet you, Madame,” he said with a heartbreaking grin. I blushed. We broke our handshake and I tried to relax for the forty third time since entering this room. 

I needed to come up with something to tell him about me. “Ok, let’s see...um, I do phone support for a company back home, I hate my job and wish I could be a professional handler full time. I live in a tiny apartment by myself; I have more books than anything else I own. I know how to cook pretty decently. I’m an only child; my parents are older and spend most of their time travelling, so I don't see them much. I didn't go to college because I helped my mother care for my grandmother a while ago before she passed. I wished I had gone to school to get a degree so I could be doing something more interesting with my life, but I thought it was important to help take care of my grandmother in the end. We were very close when I was little -” I trailed off, realizing I was rambling off a lot of personal info. I looked at Tom, and he was actually listening and paying attention to what I had to say. This couldn't be that interesting, at least not to him. “I...can go on if you like?”

Tom watched me for a moment, his brow furrowed. He leaned towards me, taking both my hands, and his strong fingers laced through mine. I did my best not to inhale sharply, but boy, did I ever want to. This man was determined to kill me with his touch and he didn't even know me. “I’m sorry for the loss of your grandmother. She must have meant a lot to you for you to give up your education to care for her. I hope you can take comfort that you did the right thing. I’m sure you brought her great joy in her final days, knowing she was being cared for by such a loving granddaughter.” 

I could feel unexpected grief for my grandmother’s loss sting the back of my eyes and I squeezed his hands, pulling away. This was too much; I didn't know how I would be able to handle all the different emotions that were stumbling drunkenly inside me. He was being so kind and gentle with me, and we’d only spoken for a total of ten minutes. I smiled nervously.

“So now, here you are my beautiful personal assistant to protect me from my legions of fans, and to help me with anything I need or desire. Well, this will be an adventure.” He winked, settling into a cheeky smile and breaking the serious mood. Was he...was he flirting with me? No, of course he wasn't...he was just being nice to me. It did not escape my notice, all the touching he enjoyed doing, and with a complete stranger no less. It was just who he was. I had seen him with many a co-star in tons of interviews where he was constantly touching either himself or his co-stars. I decided he wasn't flirting with me. I wasn't going to think about that...I would think about that later in my room.

“I will do my best to make sure you have an excellent time. But I should get going. I’m sure after your long flight, you’d like some down time to rest and get prepared for this weekend. You have a few hours until we need to get you to the guest dinner. But if you need me in the meantime, I’m right next door; feel free to knock.” I stood up, grabbing my bag and preparing to go. 

Tom stood up with me, rubbing his hands together softly. “Just next door then?” He asked. Then I remembered. I looked over my shoulder to the innocent looking door in the wall to my right - my room. 

I waved at the door as casually as I could. “I’m just on the other side of that door actually. Brian thought it would be best to have me close and completely accessible if you needed anything at any time.” I looked at him and fought with the butterflies that were beginning to flutter; they were being so good during this first meeting, but they had decided to mutiny on me. 

Tom looked at my door and a slow smile spread over his beautiful face. He looked back at me and I watched as his blue eyes darkened and smoldered for the flicker of an instant. “Well then. That’s terribly convenient,” he said, his face shedding the brief predatory gleam it had into a mask of terrifying innocence. Dammit, he was charming as hell, and my professional resolve was dissolving quickly. I had to get out of there and now.

“Yes - yes it is. Please let me know if you need anything. I’ll just be on the other side. If you don't, then I’ll see you at six thirty then?” I asked, backing towards his double doors. 

Tom followed me to show me out. “Absolutely, and I will knock if I need anything. Thank you again.” Tom opened the door for me and I exited into the hallway, turning to face him.

“No problem. Thank you for allowing me to serve you - I mean handle you for the weekend.” I could feel my blush creeping back and decided I had made enough of a fool of myself. I waved goodbye and walked the short distance to my room. It occurred to me that I could have just left through that bloody door in his room, but I wasn't sure I was ready for the reality of the ease in which he had access to me - or I to him. Tom was leaning against the doorjamb watching me walk away. He waved his goodbye and smiled politely. I pulled out my room key from my back pocket and entered with a final wave at him, shutting the door behind me. As the lock took hold, and I knew I was safely in my room, I dropped to my knees on the floor and promptly lost my shit.


	3. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have music references littered throughout the story. I feel that music is a great storytelling tool, and if you are interested, I will be including links to the songs, if you don't know the music already. :)
> 
> 01 - M83 – Year One, One UFO http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bujid4zMs-Y  
> 02 - Adele – Rumor Has It http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1p6Xbqrbx0  
> 03 – Placebo – Bright Lights http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JGjP1M25xc  
> 04 – Kate Bush – Love and Anger http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YDWeMlgJug  
> 05 – M83 – Midnight City http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RlfN8bqaw8  
> 06 – Psychadelic Furs – Love My Way http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wU7MkX1ENvI  
> 07 – Bow Wow Wow – Fools Rush In http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x28Il3P2q0Q  
> 08 – Placebo – Ask For Answers http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16dlEDmQxko

All of the images over countless hours scrolling Tumblr or videos on YouTube were spinning through my head, and were not helping at all. I lay on my side, my hand covering my mouth, stifling my hysterics. I couldn't let him hear me, but I couldn't help what I was thinking. I needed this. I needed to get all of this nervousness out so I could behave for the rest of the weekend. I didn't want to be working with him behind his autograph table and then suddenly erupt in giggles without a valid reason. I allowed the images of him to play in my mind like some disjointed movie, whirling inside of my head, and my laughter slowly dissolved.

After my eyes cleared of their tears and my abdomen was sufficiently worn out, I lay on my back and looked at the ceiling of my hotel room. Regardless of how I felt about any of this, I’d agreed to be his handler, and I was going to do my best. Which meant getting over this nonsense and getting on with it. It was late afternoon and I had a few hours to myself, unless, of course, Tom needed anything, so I decided to get ready for the evening. The night before the convention began, Brian took all of his guests out for an informal dinner so everyone would have a chance to just be themselves and get to know the others until they had to be ON for the fans. It was nice of Brian to ask me along to the dinner; normally it was reserved for the guests and their spouses or personal handlers. It would be good to spend some time catching up with him. It had been almost a year since I had seen Brian last, and I wanted to hear what he’d been up to. And just how in the hell he had gotten Tom Hiddleston booked at a mid-sized American convention a month before Thor: The Dark World premiered? I couldn't even imagine the money Brian had forked over to get him here, and I was dying to know how he accomplished that.

I rolled over and got up, pulling out my MP3 player to plug it into my clock radio for some background noise as I began to work out what I’d be wearing tonight for dinner. If I didn't know any better, I was sure Brian was taking us to his favorite pub, Fraser’s, for dinner. I went to my closet and looked at all the things I had hanging up. I wanted to look nice and casual, but not like I was trying too hard. I chose a soft grey cardigan with a plain white t-shirt and an emerald green silk scarf embellished with gold threads. I also laid out a fresh pair of black jeans to match my monochromatic ensemble. Undecided over my black leather knee boots or my Mary Jane flats, I went to the bathroom to brush out my hair and get ready for a shower. I wanted to wash off the day of travel and apply fresh makeup for the evening, and also do something with my hair that didn't involve a hair tie. It was currently piled on my head in a messy bun, my shorter layers of bangs framing my face. I looked cute, but I wanted to look pretty.

After brushing out my hair, I went back into the main room and turned up my music so I could hear it while I bathed. I hopped into the steamy shower as “Year One, One UFO” came on my player, and I smiled to myself as the hot water hit my skin. I lathered up my hair, thinking this was not what I thought I’d be doing when I woke up this morning. If anyone had told me that I would be handling Mr. Hiddleston for the weekend, I’d slap them for lying to me, and then jump up and down while hugging them to death. But here I was, washing my hair, with the man himself less than 50 feet away in the next room. I gave my hair a good rinse and scrubbed all my limbs with my body wash, running a quick razor over everything that needed it, and turned off my taps. I wanted to make sure I was ready, just in case he did need something, and not lazing about in my towel. It was a tempting idea, but not practical.

I opened my bathroom door to allow some of the moist air to exit and to clear up my steamy mirror. I dried off quickly while humming along with Adele, finishing my toilette and blow drying my hair. With the whirr of the dryer running, I began to think. I still didn't know what to make of Tom. He seemed quite charming, almost too charming, but I wondered if it was all an act, or if it was really who he was? Of course I had read some outlandish rumors about the man; rumors I dismissed as crap because it wasn't any of my business, and frankly I didn't care. His business was his personal private business, and I did my best to avoid reading about it. But, from watching him and studying his body language, he could certainly live up to the accusations. He had an ease with his body and those around him, an animal magnetism that drew you towards him, plus that million dollar smile. It was going to be difficult, but I would just have to go with the flow.

I finished with my hair, running my fingers through it so it fell in soft waves around my face. “Bright Lights” come on my player as I began applying my makeup, continuing my internal dialogue. And even if he was flirting with me, it wouldn't amount to anything. I was a volunteer handler; he didn’t know me from Adam, and after this weekend, he would never see me again. I also didn't make a habit of one night stands with my celebrities, or anyone else for that matter, so the chance was pretty slim. Of course if I had enough tequila in me and he came on so strong I couldn't refuse...maybe. Luckily for him, I didn't drink when I was on the job. So for the weekend, it was his job to be the hands off eye-candy and that was it. At least I hoped so. I finished with a flourish of deep red lip stain and left the bathroom to dress. 

I pulled on everything I had laid out and decided at the last minute to go with my Mary Jane’s. It was a warmish day out, so I decided I would save my boots for another time. I set my shoes on the floor at the end of my bed as I hummed along with “Love and Anger”, pulled out my net book, and plopped on my bed to check my email. It was just a waiting game at this point. I wasn't going to go hover over him; if he wanted me, I’d be here scrolling through Facebook. 

After I looked through all of my email accounts, scrolled Facebook, commented on a few photos, and read through some of my favorite blogs, I finally checked the time: five thirty. I had one hour until I had to fetch him for dinner and my tummy was growling already. I dug around in my bag for something to snack on. I packed some granola bars and crackers to help get me through the days I worked. I opened up a chocolate chip chewy granola bar and munched slowly, going through my bookmarks and all of my saved favorites except one. I was avoiding that particular blog. I knew that if I went and scrolled away on my dash, all of my resolve would crumble into a pile of ash.

I finished my snack and got up to throw away the wrapper when a brief knock sounded on the door in my wall. I froze. The knock was hesitant, but loud enough to be heard over “Midnight City”. I found motion again and quickly dropped the wrapper in the trash, walking over to my radio and turning it down. Another knock, this time a little louder. I walked over and opened it a crack. I looked up into Tom’s face partially hidden in shadow as he looked down at me. 

He blinked at me, his right eyebrow rising slightly - the apologetic, confused puppy dog look. “I’m so sorry. I didn't disturb you, did I?” Tom asked, clearing his throat. Damn, he was tall. I wasn't tiny by any comparison, coming in at a modest 5’6”, but he seemed to tower over me when standing close to him.

“Oh no, not at all,” I said, recovering from seeing him looking polite and pitiful in the shadows between our two rooms. “I was just checking my email and listening to music. Did you need anything?” I asked, opening our door wider. I felt a little better than I had earlier. I had to have looked like a mess when I was with him earlier, but now I was prepared with my “armor” on. It was amazing what a wash up and some lip gloss did for one’s resolve.

“No, not really. I just, well -” he said, shoving his hands deep into his pockets. “It’s just a bit lonely over here and I didn't know if you could use any company?” Tom asked, his face bright with a hopeful smile.

Yeah, so much for my resolve... I smiled nervously and said, “Sure! Of course! Come in and have a seat, please. I don't mind.” I moved away from my door as he stepped into my room. Tom wanted to keep me company? My mind boggled and I forced my face into polite interest as I shut the door behind him. I watched him stand awkwardly in between the two beds, trying to decide where to sit. My net book with cords and case were strewn on one bed, the clothes I came to the hotel in were all over the other. Looking at him, he must have decided to clean up as well; he was in dark trousers, a clean white t-shirt, and a black zip up cardigan. Wait, I recognized what he was wearing. It was what he wore in his Loki’d video. Good lord...stalker, anyone?

“Let me get those. I’m so sorry. I wasn't expecting anyone, and I’m not used to having famous visitors usually,” I said, apologizing and moving to his other side, grabbing my jeans and t-shirt and socks. I sneaked a look at him as he watched me clear the bed, a small grin on his lips.

“It’s alright. I understand you weren't expecting me. May I?” He asked, indicating to sit. I nodded and walked my laundry to the closet, tossing it into a far, dark corner. I came back around and sat on the bed opposite him. I sat cross-legged while he sat on the edge of the other bed, his elbows on his knees again. I watched as he massaged his left palm with his right thumb, looking thoughtful. “Love My Way” began playing on my player as I looked at him as discreetly as I could. Good lord, what to say? Do we just make small talk? 

“Is there something I could help you with?” I asked him hesitantly, trying to break the ice. For someone who had to work to keep from talking too much, he was sure quiet. 

He looked over at me, his face for an instant a mask of loneliness, but quickly replaced with a smile. “Oh, yes. I’m absolutely fine. I was just getting really bored with my computer and I wasn't in any state to rest really. I also wanted to ask you a few things before we left this evening. Would you mind?” He asked. 

“Sure, what did you want to ask me?” I closed my net book and shoved it away from me so he knew I had his full attention. I wasn't sure what he wanted to ask me. Then again, Tom had been a surprise to me; he didn't act like any of the stereotypical stars that I had worked with. But I couldn't expect normal famous person behavior from him; he was too nice for all that snobby celebrity attitude. And even if his head got too big from all of his fame and glory, he’d end up apologizing about it, bless him.

“We spoke briefly in regards to this being my first appearance at a smaller event. I was given an idea what I was to do at the larger conventions, but I’m not sure what I need to do here? I would imagine it’s very similar, just on a smaller scale, but I guess I’m not sure what is expected of me. Is there any way you can provide me with any guidance at all?” Tom asked, his blue eyes darkening with his question. He looked lost. He was the biggest star at this event and he had no idea what to do.

“Well, to be honest, I’ve not worked the larger conventions, so I can only give you an idea of what it’s like here. We can go over your schedule for the weekend. Maybe that can help fill in some of the blanks?” I leaned down for my messenger bag that had been moved to the floor. I pulled out my phone and launched my Drive to load up his schedule. Once his schedule loaded, I got up from my bed and sat next to him. Oh boy, mistake... I could smell him; freshly shaved and clean, a hint of sweet and spice, and undeniably male. I tried not to gulp.

“Ok, tonight you have nothing to worry about. The only thing you have is the guest-only dinner, which will be away from the hotel. I’m not sure where we are going. I’ll have to text Brian to find out, but it will be pretty low-key...oh shit.” I closed my eyes, biting my lower lip hard and saying a much dirtier word in my head. I couldn't believe I'd really done that. Tom laughed his ehehehe close to my ear, making me tingle and all too aware of the stupid thing I had said, and who I had said it in front of. Dammit brain, really? 

He wrapped his arm politely around my shoulder and squeezed me towards him in a friendly half-hug. “No worries, I know you didn't intend on saying it to be clever. Go on.” Tom smiled, his cheeks pinking slightly, letting his arm drop to the bed behind me. 

I shook my head and took a deep breath. Please, whatever god is listening, don't let him touch me again...I would not be responsible for what would happen next… “Alright, it will be pretty casual tonight, just everyone mingling and getting to know each other. Then, when we’re finished with dinner, you can head back to your room or go to the green room. There will be an open bar with snacks in there all weekend. Now, that is a staff and guest-only area - no attendees allowed - so you can just relax with the other guests.” 

I turned to him to make sure he understood me. Tom nodded and smiled, indicating I should go on. I tapped the Friday tab on his document, and as I scrolled down to his first event, I could feel him lean closer, a radiant heat I wasn't expecting reaching out towards me. The bed shifted under me and I had to brace my foot on the edge of the other bed in front of me to keep from tumbling back into him. I bit my tongue, wishing I could lean back into him, his strong arms wrapping around me as I raised my chin, my arm circling up and around his neck and pulling him into a long and thorough kiss. I quickly shooed away that rather dangerous thought as I got back to the task at hand. I could feel myself blush and prayed he didn't see it. 

Clearing my throat loudly, I went on. “Ok, Friday will be your first day with the attendees, but you don't have anything until opening ceremonies, which begins tomorrow at six pm. Friday is pretty light compared to the rest of the weekend. We’ll head over to the convention center about fifteen to thirty minutes before so you’re there on time. Opening ceremonies will be the beginning of the event. They will introduce the guests, you’ll say something terribly clever and meaningful, all the girls will faint or go into hysterics, and that will be it really.” I cut my eyes at him to see his reaction. Tom stifled a laugh that turned into an adorable snort. “After that, we’ll head back over here for dinner, either in the restaurant or room service or off-site, anywhere you want to go, and then you’re free for the evening.” 

I stopped reading and looked over my shoulder again at Tom. He was leaning unabashedly into me now, looking at my phone and reading along with me. He had a copy of his schedule on paper in his binder - several copies in fact, but of course he didn't bring any of them with him. His eyes shifted slowly from my phone to me, the left side of his mouth lifting in a half-grin. At this close range, I could see that his face was lightly peppered with the lightest of freckles, like me. Maybe he had a bit of ginger in him after all... “Um, do you really want me to go through each detail for you? I mean, I can; I’ll be happy to, but I guess I just don't know if I’m answering any of the questions you had.”

Tom sat back a bit, his eyes never leaving mine. If I kept staring at him, I couldn't be held responsible for what happened next, but I couldn't look away either. He smiled softly. “Yes, please. This is helping immensely, thank you.” He pointed his chin towards my phone, indicating I should go on. I went back to the schedule, tapping on Saturday.

“Ok, Saturday is going to be your big day. You will be busy from ten in the morning until about eight in the evening. You’ll get some breaks in there, but you’ll be busy for a good ten hours,” I said, back down to business.

I went through his daily schedule with him, remarking on the different panels and autograph sessions he would need to attend through the weekend. I filled him in on who he would be doing his panels with and what to expect when with them. I also gave him a rundown of how the autograph lines would work, and let him know he would not only have me, but two other volunteers to help work his table for him, along with security personnel that would be planted throughout the crowd make sure he was safe while he was signing. I shared with him the charity of the convention and the details of the fundraising. He quietly listened to everything I said, not asking me anything. I began to relax as I spoke; as long as he just listened and didn't make any sudden moves, I was ok. Being able to talk through this, knowing that he was receiving vital information to help him be successful at doing his job for the event, that is what was foremost on my mind. Not the fact that the hand he was leaning on the bed with had slid around me and was resting next to my hip, or the fact that I could feel his warm breath tickle my neck as I spoke. I kept my eyes on my phone, reading through the schedule and making sure he understood everything that was going to happen, and what was expected of him. I was going to make it through this intact and I was quite proud of myself. So far.

“So, that’s it. Looks like you’ll be done after closing ceremonies on Sunday night. I don't see your departure flight on the schedule; do you happen to know when you will need to catch a ride to the airport?” I asked, turning to look at him. “Fools Rush In” was finishing on my radio as I watched him slide back away from me.

“Sometime in the afternoon on Tuesday, I believe. I will have to double check my flight itinerary, but I believe it’s late in the afternoon,” Tom said.

Wow, staying an additional day after the event? I wondered idly if that was a Brian thing or a Tom thing. I hadn't seen that detail in his rider. “Tuesday, really? Well, you'll definitely get some R&R after the event then.” Tom smiled at me; he really needed to cut it out. I cleared my throat and looked down at my phone. Too much smiling and throat clearing for my taste.

“Well, that pretty much covers everything; did you have any questions at all?” I didn't dare look up at him as I asked. Suddenly it felt very close in my room, and I was overwhelmingly nervous yet again. I was fine when I was speaking, but any silence killed me. His nearness, his smell, his smile...if I wasn't careful, I would lose my cool. I felt Tom shift as he scooted away from me and closer to the headboard. He pulled his long legs onto the bed, crossing his ankles, and put his hands behind his head. I looked up and watched his eyes roll up to the ceiling. I could hear the beginning beats of “Ask for Answers” begin quietly on my player as I watched him and waited. He smiled and nodded towards my player, for the first time acknowledging what was playing in the background. I was pleased to see he liked my taste in music. He looked back up, puckering his lips slightly. 

I watched him, his hands behind his head, and for a brief flash, I saw myself crawling up the length of the bed, my hands on either side of him, the lower edge of his t-shirt in my teeth as I pulled it up and bit the tender flesh of his stomach, hearing him moan in pleasure. I stood up from the bed abruptly, wishing that thought away as best as I could and ran my fingers through my hair. I felt foolish.

“Well, I’m not sure I have anything to ask at the moment. But I will be sure to when the time comes, is that alright?” Tom asked. If he saw my agitation, he didn't remark on it. I checked the time on my phone; it was six twenty.

“Uh...looks like we have about ten minutes. Let me text Brian really quick to see if our car is ready and find out where we are going. Did you want me to come get you from your room or...?” I asked, walking away from the bed and texting Brian while waiting for Tom’s answer. I pushed send and looked over at him. Tom looked confused for a moment, until his confusion flowed into a devilish grin. He removed his hands from behind his head and stood up in one fluid motion, moving very close to me. I looked up slowly, my eyes taking in the full length of his body, all the way up into his eyes again. I could feel my stomach do flip flops. I really needed to have a stern talking-to with those damned butterflies...

“Are you dismissing me to my room?” He asked, his head cocked to the side, his blue green eyes glittering down at me, and I fought to keep my hands to myself. My nails bit into the flesh of my palms for the second time today. I had a feeling I would be doing this a lot this weekend.

“Oh dear god, NO! I wasn't - I just thought you’d want to go back to your room, I didn't want you to think -” I was floundering and I knew it. His nearness was unnerving, and I felt like I was having trouble breathing, dammit. “I didn't want you to think you had to stay here with me. I don't want to assume anything, ya know?” I said in a rush. “I just want you to do what you want to do. I’m not your babysitter; I hope you know that,” I finished quietly. I was flustered and embarrassed, and I wanted to take a step away from him, but I didn't dare. Tom continued to look down at me, his smile slowly disappearing into a look of concern, almost as if trying to make a decision. I could see something computing behind his eyes; I just didn't know what it was. If he didn't speak soon, I knew I would do something even more embarrassing, be it taking a wary step back or running my hands up his chest and pulling him to me, winding my fingers in his hair and forcing his lips on mine.

“I know you aren't not my sitter, as you say. I was only joshing you. I don't mind waiting here with you; I don't need anything from my room, so there is no sense in going back for a few minutes if we are to leave soon,” Tom said, the seriousness gone and an impish grin on his face. I smiled back weakly, my phone chiming with receipt of a new message. I broke our eye contact, taking a step back and turning away from him to read the message on my phone. “Car’s waiting downstairs, we’re off to Fraser’s, see you shortly.” I knew it; Brian was comfortably predictable. 

I turned to tell Tom and promptly crashed into him. I hadn't felt him move to stand directly behind me. I gasped, grabbing his arm as he grabbed mine. “Oof! Sorry! I - didn't know you were right there,” I said, righting myself. My hand circled around his wrist as his hand circled mine, and neither of us let go. I couldn't let go of him; I felt a rush of heat flow through me as my skin made contact with his. My fingers tingled and I could feel a nervous bloom of sweat threatening to erupt within my palm. I screamed at my brain, let go of him...just let go... I slowly pried my fingers from his flesh and apologized. “Brian says the car is waiting for us downstairs,” I said, barely above a choked whisper. Tom slowly let go and continued to watch me flail. I nodded stupidly, silently confirming to him and myself that, yes; I was a bumbling fool, and bent awkwardly to grab my messenger bag. I shoved my phone in my pocket while walking over to shut off my MP3 player, pulling the strap of my bag over my head and slinging it across my body.

“Ready to go?” I asked, exasperated with myself. I could feel my brows furrowing with frustration, and I forced myself to cut it out. I didn’t want him to know why I was acting like an idiot. Tom nodded, and I turned to walk towards the door when I felt his hand snake out and grab my wrist once more. I stopped in my tracks and turned to face him, my eyes blinking as I reminded myself to breathe. Tom bit his lower lip and walked up to me, his finger crooked under my chin and raising it to face him. Ok, this can't be happening, dear lord what in the world - ?

“After dinner, I believe there is something you and I should discuss before the weekend goes any further. Will you do that? Will you make the time to speak with me?” Tom asked, his eyes searching mine. I wasn't sure I could count the amount of times I died in this room up to this point, and the fact he was asking me to speak with him? What in the world did we need to talk about? My mind began creating tons of horribly negative scenarios. 

I nodded quietly. “Uh...sure. Of course. Absolutely,” I stuttered. 

He removed his hand from my wrist once more, his crooked finger chucking my chin gently in acknowledgment. He moved passed me and opened the door, giving me one of his heartbreaking smiles. “Shall we proceed, Madame?”


	4. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 09 – Lacuna Coil – Swamped http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uD3tUCnL5V0  
> 10 – New Order – Bizarre Love Triangle http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xS7tFKNlyXc

We took the elevator down to the lobby in silence. Tom was busy looking at his phone, and I fidgeted with the zipper closure on my bag. What did he want to talk to me about? I knew it had to be my strange behavior; he wasn't stupid, and he had to have noticed all of my stuttering and moments of derp. He was an actor, he studied the human condition and would know by someone's body language what was really going on inside. If that was it, I had to come up with some way of explaining myself that didn't involve having him huddle with me in front of my net book and scroll away on Tumblr. How else could I explain my odd behavior? I couldn't, and I had no excuse for it. If only I could have a drink later…

The elevator doors opened and we exited. Thankfully there were no attendees around, so we went down to the lobby to look for Brian. No sign of him, so I indicated to Tom that we should step outside. Out through the revolving doors and into a pleasantly cool twilight evening. The warmth of the day lingered in the oncoming night air, and for a moment, it felt like a new spring night. Brian had three cars lined up, running and waiting for the guests that were at the hotel to whisk them away to dinner. I looked around and saw a small group of anime voice actors having a smoke while waiting to leave. I recognized a handful of them and waved at a few that I knew. They smiled and waved back, continuing their conversation and smoking. Tom moved towards me, looking expectant.

“I’m sorry. I thought Brian would be down here already. Would you prefer waiting inside or...?” I asked, interrupted by a loud feminine squeal. I immediately went on alert, turning on my heel and moving myself in front of Tom. I looked around for the source of the noise. I relaxed, seeing one of the young voice actresses come over to us. I recognized her, but didn't know her name.

“Tom! My god, man, what are you doing here?!?” She yelled, her arms wide and going in for a hug. Relieved, I slid to the left to allow her access to him. He smiled in surprise and took her in his waiting arms.

“Brian asked me to come and I thought I’d see what all of this was about. How have you been, love?” Tom asked, kissing her on both cheeks, pulling out of their embrace and holding one of her hands. The pretty young actress beamed up at Tom as she teetered on her four inch platform heels and they chatted briefly. I moved discreetly away, but within a safe distance. I wasn't going to intrude on him catching up with old friends or doing any networking.

I sent a text to Brian to let him know we were waiting, and as I hit send, Brian came through the revolving doors with a few staff members trailing behind him. He surveyed who was present; pleased that everyone he felt should be there was indeed there; he smiled and made his way over to me. I put an arm around his waist for a quick hug and pinched him. Brian jumped from my arm and rubbed his side, frowning at me.

“What was that for?” Brian asked, failing at looking incredulous. He knew he had it coming and I would be talking to him later about Hiddleston.

“Nevermind. You and I will be having a chat later, my friend. Are we ready?” I asked, looking around. The other voice actors had finished their smokes and were approaching the vehicles. Many of them called shotgun for the front two cars and started piling in. I looked at Tom, watching him give the pretty actress a kiss on the cheek in goodbye, and then he walked towards Brian and me.

“Are we off, then?” He asked, rubbing his hands together.

“Absolutely, Tom, I’m taking you and Rebecca in my car. It’s the one on the end.” Brian pointed at the sleek black Lincoln Towncar and we walked over and got in. I slid in the back and Tom sat in the front next to Brian. I was glad to be alone in the dark backseat; it gave me a chance to really look at Tom, albeit in the shadows, and to get my shit together. I needed time to just look at him and get used to being with him for the next three days. Watching him with the pretty voice actress stung a bit, but I let it go quickly. Tom didn't belong to me; he wasn't mine, and I definitely had no business being jealous of anyone he chose to show affection towards. In my mind, Tom belonged to all of his Hiddlestoner’s, and luckily, there was almost enough to go around.

Brian and Tom chatted on the way to the restaurant; I didn't really listen to the details of their conversation. I just watched Tom speak. He was so animated when he was talking; all of the interviews I ever saw him in didn't do this man justice. He was exuberant and full of such a life-joy. I found myself just staring at him in awe. It seemed as if he couldn't speak without using his hands, drawing out his descriptions and emphasizing whatever his point was in the conversation. Tom was like a mad artist, extracting thoughts from his mind, crafting his ideas, and presenting it to whomever he was with. I smiled quietly, watching him. 

We pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant and found a space nearby. I exited the car, still in the glow of watching Tom unobserved. I had to be careful and stay on task. I was annoyed that I had to keep reminding myself of that, but once I was around him, it was so easy to forget. Tom walked the short distance over to me and put his hand on the small of my back, rubbing gently. I blinked up at him as he grinned down at me. “Hungry?” He asked. Oh brother, you had no idea... I smiled and nodded, speechless once again in his presence, and we walked into the restaurant after Brian.

We had a private room reserved in the back, and we all filed into the room around the huge table. It had already been set for us, and we found our seats quickly. I sat to Tom’s left with Brian to the left of me. The pretty voice actress sat on Tom’s other side, and I was glad he would have someone to chat with that he knew. As we were all getting situated, I remembered something vital that I had forgotten to ask him earlier. Frustrated, I tugged gently on Tom’s sleeve to get his attention. He turned to me, his brows raised in polite question.

“Before I forget, I need your cell number so I can text you if I need to. I was going ask you for it earlier, but I forgot,” I said lamely. I usually got a cell number when I first met my actors, and of course, due to my ineptness, I had forgotten to get his. 

Tom nodded and pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Of course, do you want to give me your number so I can save it then?” He asked. 

Yes yes yes...please save my number... “That would be great.” I gave him my digits, and I watched him add me to his contacts in his phone. Was this really happening? Adding me to his contacts... Stop it brain, cut it out. He saved my number in his phone, and then proceeded to text me. I pulled out my phone and waited. 

I felt a sudden tug on my sleeve to my left, and I turned to Brian’s grinning face. “Whatcha doin?” He asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“I want a word with you later, dear friend,” I said, feigning annoyance. Brian batted his eyes at me and began to read his menu, ignoring me. Fool. “Did you place me with Hiddleston on purpose?” I hissed, leaning towards him. Brian kept looking at his menu, a smile playing around his lips.

“I have no idea what you are talking about, Rebecca,” he said with a wink and a smile, and then dismissed me. I wanted to throttle him.

My phone buzzed with a new text, and a silly surge of excitement ran through me. I saw the international number and couldn't stop the large smile on my face. I opened the text and it read “Boo.” I bit my lower lip and looked at Tom, who had his phone on his lap and was turned away, chatting with the voice actress. I decided to be clever and answer “Boo back.” I hit send, and then added him to my contacts. I typed “Tom Hiddleston”, although I wanted to add “Life Ruiner” but I didn't have the guts. I saved his number and then put my phone in my lap. I picked up the menu and read over what entrees were available. I already knew I was getting, but I had to at least look like I was finding something like the others.

The private room was getting loud with chatting and laughing and general silliness as we all looked over our menus. Brian’s guests this year were a lively bunch. I was glad Tom would get to spend time with people in the different entertainment fields. I just hoped he was as excited as I was for him. My phone buzzed with a new message, and I opened my phone to see who it was from. Tom. “So what will you be having for dinner?” I looked up and over at him; he was facing his menu. Silly, why didn't he just ask me? I was right here. I texted back, “Fish and chips. Not as tasty as back home for you, I’m sure, but I like them :)” I put down my menu and waited for the waitress to take my drink order. I had an urge to get a rather large alcoholic something, but I ordered my water with lemon like a good girl. No drinking while on duty. 

My phone buzzed again. “You’d be correct; alas, I shouldn’t have anything heavy. Perhaps a chicken sandwich for me :\” Aww, poor darling... I glanced over at him; he was deep into his conversation with the actress. 

Seems like we spoke easier through text, even though I was right next to him. Oh well, so be it. I responded, “Too bad, hopefully it can live up to your Chili’s standard. ;)” I put my phone back in my lap with a sly smile, and I turned to Brian. 

He was watching me as he took a large gulp of his water. I leaned towards him so we could speak quietly. “So, you put me with Hiddleston. Any particular reason why, other than the whole Julie thing?” I asked out of the corner of my mouth. 

Brian leaned away from me and grinned, his eyebrows wiggling maniacally. I rolled my eyes and pulled him back towards me. He laughed in my ear. “Well, obviously I wanted you to be his handler for the weekend after Julie decided to abandon the event for whatever stupid reason. I didn't want to assign you to someone else; I wanted you specifically for him. I wanted the best of the best...and besides, I wanted you to have a good time this weekend.” Brian pulled away at a loud yell from someone across the table from him. One of the voice actors had asked him a question, so I pulled away; sitting up straight in my chair, I reached for my water and took a long drink. What the hell did that mean? Did he know I liked Tom? He couldn’t have known. I kept that fact close to my vest; I didn't announce it to the world how much I admired him. Then again, I was a part of a few Hiddleston fanpages on Facebook, and Brian wasn't an idiot. Crap. I gave Brian some serious side eye and decided I was done talking to him about this particular topic. I was going to do my job and be great, despite everything. 

My phone buzzed again. “Haha, Chili’s, really? Well, I certainly hope it can surpass that culinary triumph.” 

I bit my lip, stifling a giggle. I was thankful he didn’t ask me how I knew about his favorite chicken sandwich on the planet. I responded, “Besides, aren’t you more of a dessert man? Oh, I’m so sorry, I meant pudding. ;) I believe they have an excellent chocolate mousse on their menu if the chicken sandwich doesn’t do it for you. :P” I hit send on my phone, and for an instant, I wondered if I should have sent what I did. I was being cheeky and having fun with him, finally. 

I looked around the table quietly and waited for his response. I didn’t have to wait very long. “My dear lady, art thou tempting me with dessert when yon main has yet to be ordered? ;)” My heart skipped a beat. I was sure glad I had insurance; I had a feeling I’d need it after this weekend. I bit the inside of my cheek, stifling the girly smile threatening to spread over my very warm face. Ok, should I play along and flirt back? That was assuming the man was indeed flirting with me. I mean, it was only text, and he couldn't be serious. He was Tom effing Hiddleston; he did what he wanted. And it was only dessert; I really needed to stop reading into things...

“Alas, dear sir, I tempt you not, for I was merely suggesting something to sweeten your tongue after such sad repast as your unsatisfactory chicken sandwich has been consumed. ;)” I hit send and began fidgeting with the cloth napkin in my lap. I felt nervous after sending off my message; I hoped I was playing along correctly. 

The table was loud and raucous. The talent that Brian had assembled for the weekend were a tight knit group, all of them good friends and all fantastically ridiculous. It was always a treat being around famous people who were being themselves. Suddenly, I heard a quiet “ehehe” to my right and I casually looked over towards Tom, who was looking down at his phone and grinning. He looked pleased.

A few waitresses arrived and took all of our orders. I didn't receive any more texts from Tom for the duration of the meal, and I spent the next hour or so chatting with actors at the table or briefly with Brian when he was in between actor inquires and phone calls from the event staff back at the hotel. Tom and I didn't speak much either. He spent most of his time chatting with the actress on his right. I really needed to find out her name as discreetly as I could. Through a bit of spying and covert peeking, I noticed they couldn't keep their hands off each other while they spoke to each other. Maybe Tom had no idea what personal space meant or something, which would explain why he kept touching me on occasion. And, of course, that would mean all the assumptions I let run rampant in my brain were wrong. Tom was just handsy; I would have to accept that, despite what I wanted to think.

After the meal, we all made our way out of the restaurant and back to our cars. Tom did not get any dessert after dinner. I slid in the backseat again with Tom in front with Brian; I decided to text him. “I noticed no dessert, any particular reason?” I hit send and looked out the car window, waiting for the caravan to start moving back to the hotel. I mulled over my impending conversation that Tom had requested earlier. I wasn't sure what exactly he wanted to speak with me about, but that didn't stop my mind from wandering all over the map about what I thought it might be. From outright firing me and asking for someone else to handle him for the weekend, all the way to Tom declaring his undying love and running away with me into the night. I was swinging between the two extremes and it was giving me a headache.

Our car started moving and we rode back to the hotel. It was half past eight and the night had well and truly fallen. The first stars of the evening began to twinkle brightly over the din of the bright city lights. I loved a large city at night; the thrum of energy that ran through its paved streets during the day, replaced with a dangerous excitement as it got darker. The town I lived in had no downtown to speak of; the city had decided to invest in outlying areas for shopping and commerce, thus abandoning a once thriving city center for the comfort and safety away from the unwashed masses. It was always a joy when I worked an event; I loved to travel and experience new places. 

My phone buzzed with a new message from Tom. “No dessert; watching my girlish figure, you know. :) And besides, I have plenty of sweets in my room thanks to Brian's generosity :)” He must have been referring to his chocolates. 

I smiled to myself and messaged back. “Yes, I forgot you had your private stash in your room. :)”

We pulled into the hotel driveway and parked under the concrete awning that covered the front doors of the hotel. The passengers of the other two cars piled out and formed a smoking group in the area they were originally found in earlier. I exited the car and waited for Tom at the revolving doors. He was currently occupied with the pretty actress again, and they were in an open embrace, leaning towards each other, whispering. I turned away so I wasn't gawking at them. 

I checked my phone and there was an unread message from him. “Oh yes I do! :) And you are invited to partake at any time! ;)” I looked up at him and bit my lower lip. Tom was smiling at what the actress was saying in his ear, her tiny fit body straining on tiptoe so her lips could reach him, but his eyes rolled towards me and he winked. I felt my eyes widen and I turned away, hiding my smile. I couldn't leave him down here without accompanying him to the safety of his room, so I waited politely as he chatted with the actress. Some of the other voice actors had ordered drinks at dinner, and their noise level had gone up quite a few decibels. I could only assume that their drinking had made them go deaf, bless them.

I kept my eye on Tom and as his conversation ended with a kiss on the actress’ cheek; I stepped back away from the revolving doors and followed him into the hotel lobby. Quick scan of the lobby; a handful of cosplayers lounging in a few chairs and couches, but none looking in our direction. A few event staff; but they were hurrying to some task or a fire that needed putting out. Hotel staff; busy with late check-in’s and not really paying attention to us. Good. I walked Tom to the elevator and we pushed the button to go UP; we stood quietly, waiting for the elevator to arrive.

The doors slid open and we entered. I pushed the button for the sixteenth floor, and we rode up in silence. This was odd and uncomfortable. I felt like I should say something, especially since we were getting along so well through text at dinner. I hated these awkward silences, and I wished there was something I could do about them, but I knew if I opened my mouth, something dumb would come out. I peeked at Tom out of the corner of my eye. He was standing with his hands in his pockets, his chin raised towards the numbers counting up, up, up to the sixteenth floor. He had the most gloriously long neck; it was terribly distracting. I saw the triangle of three freckles on his neck and I could feel my stomach flip flop once again. His eyes rolled towards me and he grinned, watching me looking at him. I could feel my own eyes widen in embarrassment and I turned away from him, taking a deep exasperated breath as the elevator doors opened at our floor. 

The noise level of the floor had escalated substantially since we were last there, and I smiled to myself as I followed Tom out. Lord, I hoped he was ready for this. Immediately to my left and right were two volunteers in chairs wearing convention staff shirts with badges posted as sentries to guard the floor from anyone that didn't belong up there. They both discreetly eyeballed our badges and then went back to talking to each other. Tom turned towards me with a questioning look.

“Looks like they’ve started already. Come on, I’ll show you the party room,” I said, indicating he should follow me. As I approached the suite I had been in earlier that afternoon, the music got progressively louder. There were two more volunteers posted outside the suite doors, double checking badges in case the first two had failed. They smiled and went back to scouting the hallway. Brian had opened up the other suite right across the hall from the one I had been in earlier, so there were two party rooms; one across from the other for the evening. I peeked into the one on the left and saw that the TV from the original room had been rolled in there, and an Xbox and Playstation had been set up for video games and DDR. The original suite to my right was where the bar and classic alternative music was coming from. I could hear the end of “Swamped” playing in the background softly. There was a loud hum of voices, so I lead Tom into the room with the bar.

There were about a dozen people in the suite so far, mostly staff and a few guests peppered here and there. The majority of the guests were still outside downstairs smoking. And, as predicted, the couches and chairs were shoved along the walls to make space for people to come in and hang out. The low tables were covered with bowls of popcorn, pretzels, trays of veggies and fruit for snacking. The sleeping room doors on either side of the main room were propped open to allow quiet space for anyone that wanted to get away from the noise of the main area and chat in privacy. The sheer curtains hanging in front of the balcony doors were pushed open, allowing an impressive view of the city at night through the sliding glass doors. The bar to my right was lined up with all sorts of bottles of liquor, and small bowls of snacks, and was manned by our annual bartender, Matt. I saw a handful of staff I recognized, and a few co-directors who had decided to come upstairs after their shift was over. 

“Ok, looks like the bar is in here and across the way are video games if you are so inclined. Make yourself at home.” I smiled at Tom. 

He reached out and squeezed my forearm. “Indeed I shall.” And with that, he walked to the bar and asked Matt for a whiskey. Matt was smart enough to have Tom’s other Jameson bottle on hand. I went to one of the L-shaped couches on the left and prepared to park it for a while. I had no idea how long he would want to stay here, but I wanted to make sure I was here if he needed anything. I heard the opening keyboard of “Bizarre Love Triangle” begin and I smiled to myself. Brian and I shared similar taste in music, having both been part of the fledgling alternative scene back farther than I wanted to think about. You could take the boy out of the Goth, but not the Goth out of the boy... I decided to send Brian a text letting him know where Tom was in case he wanted to know. After sending the text, I kept my phone out, checking email and then going on Facebook, bobbing my head gently to the music. Unless Tom engaged me directly, I wasn't going to force myself into a conversation with him, so I needed something to distract, or at least make me look busy, while he was here.

“And here we are. I got this for you, my dear Rebecca,” Tom said, placing a drink on the low table in front of me. 

I blinked up at him in confusion. “Um...what is this?”

“It’s a screwdriver. I believe that’s what Matt said...yes, a screwdriver made especially for Rebecca,” Tom replied, grinning and sitting down next to me. I watched him sit, sipping his drink on his way down to the couch. His eyes closed in bliss as the liquor curled over his tongue and slid down his throat.

“I can't. I can't drink while on duty, but thank you for the thought,” I said, scooting the drink away from me and towards him. I looked over at the bar at Matt, and he waved, a cheesy grin on his face. I narrowed my eyes at him; he knew I didn’t drink on the job, damn him. 

Tom looked down at the red cup, his right eyebrow rising with the beginning of a frown. He looked a little hurt. “But you aren't on duty. It is after hours and, as you enjoy telling me, my darling, you are not my sitter,” he said, looking directly into my eyes. “So please be a good girl; drink up and try to relax.” 

I just looked at him, stunned. Tom leaned towards me, the faintest wicked smile played on his lips while he slid the cup back to its original place. He was ordering me to break one of my biggest rules when I was handling someone at an event. I wasn't even sure I had a counter argument to give him. He was right; it was after hours, I was not his sitter, and I could really use it after the day I had. Dammit again. 

I closed my eyes, the last of my resolve blown away. I grabbed the cup and took a deep drink from Matt’s screwdriver. It was fabulously sweet. Matt was a professional bartender, who was also an old friend and fellow nerd, who volunteered to mix and pour drinks for the guests all weekend in the party room. I could taste the peach vodka mixed in with the orange juice. Matt did make it especially for me; it was my second favorite mixed drink, and he knew it. I set down my red cup and looked at Tom for approval. He laughed and saluted me with his half empty glass of whiskey.

“Better now?” I asked. Who was I kidding? I’d been dreaming of intoxication ever since this afternoon when I found out I was handling him. I was glad for the permission to have something to help me relax.

“Absolutely, thank you.” He winked at me again, his blue green eyes twinkling. Twinkling? Oh boy. The liquor unfurled in my belly, all warm and muzzy. My limbs felt all hot and liquidy, and my knees felt weak. I thought about not taking another drink for a while...I needed to pace myself with this. I didn't want to do anything stupid or embarrassing again.

The room began filling up with the talent, and the volume suddenly increased with the arrival of the smokers. Tom scooted to the corner of the L-shaped couch, and I moved to the far end next to the sliding glass doors. After the procurement of their own drinks, the actors began to gather around Tom. He was holding court on the couch, and it was fascinating watching him from the sidelines. He spoke with everyone, making eye contact with each of them, and including them all when telling one of his rousing stories. Politeness with the right amount of sass and cheekiness, with a sprinkling of physical contact, and all of the boys and girls were in love with him. He was the most famous entertainer that had ever been to this convention, and they were all in thrall. Kneel, indeed. I giggled to myself.

I decided it was a good time to get up from the couch and allow room for more important people to come sit and spend time with him. I grabbed my drink and bag and went out on the balcony to look out on the city. There was a slight chill in the air, Mother Nature reminding us that, yes, it was an unseasonably warm day, but not to forget that winter was just around the corner. I wished I had my hoodie with me, but then immediately shut off that thought with a laugh to myself. My black hoodie was one of my most treasured possessions. I wore it everywhere from the early fall to the late spring. I remember ordering it on Etsy; just a plain black hoodie with tiny white screen printing on the left breast, the horned helmet from the Avengers, and it read “Loki’s Army” underneath in white print. I didn't dare wear that in front of Tom, no effing way. I’d freeze to death before I did.

My phone buzzed with a new message and I removed it from my jeans pocket; Brian. “You upstairs already?” 

I wondered if he even got my original text. I messaged him back, “Yep, sent you a message telling you we were in the green room. I’m on the balcony drinking heavily if you need me. ;)”

The balcony was deserted, so I set my bag in one of the chairs and took my drink and phone to the ledge. The balcony walls were chest high concrete, one-foot thick, with flower planters lining the edge. And a good thing too; I was buzzing a bit. I don't normally drink, and I was a terrible light weight. My little peach screwdriver thing would last me for a while, I hoped. My body was tired and sore from driving all morning and from all of my silly suppressed emotions; I wished I could call it a night soon. I peeked over my shoulder into the main room. Tom was still the center of attention, and by the looks of it, telling a very animated story. He was standing up now, his arms sweeping in large motions and making the funniest of faces. Everyone was in awe around him and laughing. Part of me wished I was in there listening to him, but I knew I shouldn't. I turned away with a sad smile and swallowed more of my drink.

My phone buzzed on the ledge in front of me; Brian again. “Cool, I’ll grab a beer and join you out there soon. :)” I acknowledged the text but didn't bother sending a response. I shoved my phone back into my front pocket and finished the rest of my drink. The orange juice and peach vodka was watered down to just the suggestion of flavoring. I wouldn't be getting another one; I would enjoy nursing the sad ice cubes that remained in my red cup. 

I dropped my head back, stretching out my neck and rolling my shoulders. My back muscles ached, and all I could think of was the very hot shower that waited for me back in my room. I had a shower earlier, but that was for maintenance. I was looking forward to the therapeutic shower that would pound hot water on my back, helping loosen my tight muscles and help me relax enough to sleep. I looked up into the bruised night sky, the stars blinking quietly over the rush and noise of the city below me. I heard the sliding glass door open; must have been Brian coming to join me. I didn't move, enjoying the stretch of my neck and the disorientation of leaning back while buzzing nicely. I felt warm hands slide on my shoulders and my head fell forward. Strong thumbs pushed into the sore muscles between them, the gentle circular motions giving just enough pressure to force my eyes shut in bliss. 

“Oh Brian, thank you, that feels amazing,” I muttered. Brian’s thumbs circled over and over exactly where I needed it, bless him. “Hey, what do you think of our Tom, eh? He’s doing such a great job in there. Such a good idea bringing him in...Mmm.” My head lolled back and forth to the side as deft fingers massaged all the way up through my neck, pushing in and targeting all the spots that ached. “Oh, and speaking of Tom, don't think I don't know why you really wanted me to be his assistant. You can be so such a sneaky little shit. I think you wanted to watch me squirm with lust all damned weekend. You should stay off my Facebook, you know; can't a lady fangirl in peace?” I giggled as the hands, which had made their way under my hair and were gently rubbing the base of my skull, suddenly stopped. I got him. Brian’s halt of the awesome neck massage was proof I had called him on his bullshit. I was expecting to hear his laughing denial, but when I opened my eyes to tell him so, I turned around into a dark wall of Tom. I could have swallowed my tongue as I looked up at him, my eyes wide and my stomach dropping somewhere around the twelfth floor of the hotel. The balcony was dark, save for the light that poured out from the suite; the line of his body was lit softly with a golden glow, which, of course, meant he could see the shock and complete horror on my face as clear as day. Tom’s face was in the shadows as he looked down at me; I couldn't stop staring at him. I couldn't believe I'd said what I did, thinking I was sharing this bit with Brian; the vodka had definitely loosened me up.

“Oh fuck...” I whispered. I could feel my cheeks blaze with embarrassment as I watched him look down at me. His eyes glittered darkly; a very slow, knowing smile crept over his face, and then he closed his eyes briefly with an acknowledging nod.

“Well. That certainly explains a few things.” I blinked and slid away from him. I had to get out of there; I needed to not be here with him. Shaking, I reached for my bag and pulled the straps over my shoulder. Despite wanting to throw myself off the balcony, I pulled myself together and stood in front of him, looking at the toes of my Mary Jane flats and trying to control my nervous breathing.

“Tom, I - I’m sorry you overheard that. I thought you were Brian,” I said, my voice a strained whisper. I didn't dare look up at him. I felt like a troubled child who had been caught stealing. My heart pounded heavy and fast in my chest; I hoped I wouldn't pass out. 

I could feel Tom closing the distance between us and I readied myself for the ridiculous truth to come out. “I had a feeling your conversation was not meant for my ears, and I am sorry for that. But I will admit it certainly does help answer a few questions for me. That’s the reason why I requested to speak with you earlier. But your eloquence, honesty, and candor have helped resolve most of what I was curious about. I would be lying if I wasn't pleased to get that sorted,” he said over the top of my head. God, he was tall...

I looked up a little, my eyes searching over the balcony edge, but not directly at Tom. I looked out over the downtown buildings in the distance, little red lights blinking at me from the rooftops. I couldn't look at him just yet. “Get what sorted out?” I asked stupidly.

I could feel Tom chuckle quietly, and I stole a look at him as quickly as I could without lingering too long. He shoved his hands deep into his front pockets. “I realize you and I haven't known each other long, but every time you interacted with me, you acted in such a way that I can only describe as uncomfortable, bordering on annoyance. You seemed, I don’t know, angry or frustrated to be around me. I thought perhaps you didn't want to be my assistant for the event, and to be honest, I did think briefly about asking Brian for someone else. But other times when you weren’t so guarded or closed off, you were perfectly fine. Now I know it’s because you are a fan. And by my estimation of your body language all afternoon, and your confession just a few moments ago, a big fan. It does explain quite a lot. You know, I thought perhaps you really didn't care for me much. I’m glad to see I was wrong.” He smiled apologetically, his right eyebrow getting an Academy Award for subtlety. Of course he would feel it was him that was at issue, the self-deprecating dolt. I felt irritated and embarrassed; I didn't want to have this conversation with him. I felt so stupid, and I just wanted to disappear. With a resigned sigh, I figured it was now or never, I had to rip the bandage off this one and quick; get it over with so we could move forward if I was going to continue doing this. Three days together, and I needed to face it. I took a deep breath and looked straight at him.

“Oh good, you’re still out here! Hey, Matt thought you’d be done with your drink, so he asked me to bring this for you, Becca,” Brian said, stepping out onto the balcony, carrying another red cup in one hand and his beer in the other. He was grinning from ear to ear as the light from the room shined on one half of his face. I wouldn't get the chance to say what I wanted to say to Tom. Brian’s timely appearance saved me for a little while longer. 

I turned to Brian, all smiles, and accepted the cup. “Thank you, Brian. I appreciate it, but I was just leaving for the night. I need to get back to my room and get Tom’s room service filled out and ordered for the morning.” I turned and smiled sweetly at Tom. “Do I also need to set up a wakeup call as well?” I asked, my false grin strained and shaky on my cheeks. 

Tom looked at me strangely; he most likely had no idea what was going on with me. I was sure this wasn't over, but I needed it to be over for me right now. “No, it’s not necessary. But thank you, I do appreciate it.” He looked me over quietly. 

“Well, no worries, Becca...I’m done for the night and I can keep an eye on Tom for you if you need me to. We’ve all got a big day tomorrow!” Brian said, taking a long drink from his beer. 

I nodded in agreement. “Absolutely, must get some sleep. I’ll see you at breakfast, Brian?” I said, giving him a quick hug and off I went back to my room, leaving Tom on the balcony watching me leave.


	5. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter V

I made it back to my room with my second drink in relatively one piece. When I reached my room, I slammed my hotel room door and angrily stripped off all my clothes, jumping into a hot shower. I sat in the tub, letting the hot water soak me as I wrapped my arms around my knees, angry at my behavior. Sitting under the hot pounding spray, I kept playing over and over what happened in my head. Now that Tom knew how I felt, I couldn't face him. It was childish, but it made me incredibly nervous, more so now than this afternoon. He was always so sweet to his fans, there was no denying that. But I didn't want him to assume I couldn't do my job and take it seriously on top of taking care of him, and not spend most of my time fawning over him or trying to jump into his pants. And the look on his face when he discovered how I really felt, that sweet knowing smile on his beautiful face, I was torn between relief and wanting to run away screaming into the night. Why did he have to be so nice about it? 

I got out of the shower after a long while; my fingers and toes had turned into prunes. I braided my wet hair and put on my PJs, which consisted of a rather large Loki’s Army t-shirt and a pair of black leggings. I wouldn't have worn the shirt, but all of the sleeping attire I packed was Loki or Hiddleston related, and I would be damned if I slept with nothing on tonight, especially with our shared door, and if he needed anything from me in the middle of the night. I decided not to think about that; I wouldn’t allow myself to go there. And after sitting outside on my own balcony and enjoying my second drink, I did not care in the slightest. I was buzzing quite nicely again, and as I replayed the day's and night's events, I flipped from giggling to myself and trying not to cry like an idiot. I fought not to crawl in a corner, crying and screaming myself to sleep.

After a while of mentally beating the hell out of myself, I heard a voice float towards me in the night. “Rebecca, are you alright?” It was Tom. 

I stood up too quick from my chair and the alcohol rushed inside my head. Ooh...that was a mistake. I stifled a giggle. “I...I am fantastic, Mr. Hiddleston...amazing, and exceptional...and yourself?” I asked, trying to see where the voice was coming from. I looked around and didn't see him immediately. I held onto the rail to stop the balcony from spinning so much, and then I saw him. He was outside his room on his own balcony, looking at me over the dying flora in the planters.

“I’m alright. But I wouldn't say the same for you, my dear. I believe you are quite drunk,” Tom said quite matter of factly. Quite. Such a proper English gentleman, so polite and succinct. Succinct? Where did that word come from? God, I loved this man...he even made me think up larger words in my head. I stifled a giggle that turned into a snort, which made me laugh even louder. I straightened back up, a bit wobbly, but as erect as I could get without the balcony moving around as much as it was. Erect...HA! My brain was funny...stupid brain. I stood there for a moment, staring at him. All three of his faces spun at me in concern, and I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to get my bearings. I opened them again and, finally, there was only one worried Tom staring back at me. I didn’t want him looking at me anymore; I had done enough damage to my reputation this evening.

“My dear sir, you would be absolutely correct. Now if you'll excuse me, I believe I must retire to yon chambers...” I said, and with a dramatic bow, I sauntered back into my room.

My room was dark and I hadn’t bothered turning on any lights. The only light in the room was from the glow of the city shining through the sliding glass door, its liquid blue light illuminating a patch of carpet next to one of the beds, lighting the room in blue shadow. I bounced heavily on said bed and fell backwards onto the pillows. The same bed and pillows Tom had sat against earlier that afternoon. I reached up above me and pulled one of the pillows to me, clutching it against my chest. I could smell him faintly; freshly showered sweet and spicy male. Frustrated tears stung my eyes as I lay there, the room spinning madly, smelling my Tom. I was drunk and acting like an idiot. Hell, I had acted like an idiot when I was sober and with him. What happened to the girl who was flirty and confident and cleverly texting him through dinner? Why couldn't I be like that all the time when we were in the same room? Why couldn't I be like that now? I rolled to my side, holding his pillow in a death grip, the angry tears leaking slowly out of the corners of my eyes.

After what seemed like hours, I felt a warm, gentle hand slowly squeezing my ankle. I had been busy rolling around with my self pity; I hadn't heard Tom enter my room. I turned to face him, wiping my face with the back of my hand. “How did you get in here?” I asked, my voice hoarse with vodka and self-hate. I already knew before he said a word; the door to our rooms had been left unlocked on both sides from earlier in the evening. How convenient...

“I came in through our doors, actually. Are you sure you’re alright?” Tom asked, sitting down on the bed in front of me so my body curled around him. I sighed, wanting very much to curl tighter around him. My room was partially dark and we were faceless voices in the night, and I had had way too much to drink. Every thought, every fantasy that had popped willy nilly in my head over the past few hours came bounding back through my brain in 3D Technicolor, playing like a disjointed adult movie. I was also sure there was smell-o-vision in there somewhere as well. I rolled over on my back and sat up cross-legged, clutching the pillow tighter against my chest.

“I’m alright. I am very embarrassed, actually. I don't want you to think I’m like this all the time when I’m working an event.”

Tom chuckled quietly, “I don't think that at all. Like I had said before, it’s now clear to me why you were acting the way you were earlier. I just wish you had said something to me about it.”

I looked up at him, and if I was a bit more sober, I would have been mortified. But I sighed and shrugged my shoulders, “How could I? I didn't want you to know. And what could I say really? ‘Hi Tom! I’m one of your biggest fans! Let me love you! I promise I’m not one of the crazies!’ I didn't want you to think I had asked to be your assistant just because of who you are, just so I could get close to you. Brian called me at the last minute; I was doing him a favor. I had no idea I was going to be partnered with you this weekend. Believe me, I thought about quitting a few times this afternoon...I would never want you to be uncomfortable, especially if you were stuck with me all weekend acting like a moron.”

I could feel Tom reach out towards me and he turned me to face him. His hands were warm on my shoulders. “I’m glad you didn't quit, and I don’t think you are a moron. I think I like you just fine, despite being one of my biggest fans,” he said. His voice was amused, but not insulting. “I also think if you relaxed around me, we could have a really great time this weekend. And I’m not that scary, trust me. I’m just a human being like you.”

I nodded; I didn't know if he could see me or not. And he wasn’t a human being like me, he was Tom effing Hiddleston, and now, after my very blunt admission from earlier, he knew I was a fan. Thankfully, he didn’t know how badly I had it for him; I’d have to shove that in a box for later. 

He rubbed his hands up and down my arms, comforting me as politely as he could. I felt the bed shift under me as he leaned towards me, and I could feel his lips near my ear; his warm breath tickled all the way down my spine, and I held my breath. “Besides, I love all of my fans; they have impeccable taste, crazy or not,” he said in a husky whisper. I giggled unexpectedly, pitching forward and landing against him, my forehead pressed into his shoulder. His arms were still on my shoulders, and I was not so tipsy that it suddenly occurred to me we were in an accidental embrace. It must have occurred to him as well; his large gentle hands left my shoulders and slid along my back, pulling me towards him. I was tipsy enough that I reciprocated without thought, my arms sliding awkwardly across the span of his back and around his waist.

“This might be a little easier without whatever is in your lap,” Tom said, chuckling against my ear. I then realized his pillow was still between us, and without hesitation, I reached between us and yanked it away. It was a sorry substitute for the real thing anyway. And, oh brother, was it ever real right now. I slid my arm back around his waist, his chest pressed against mine, and I began to quietly tremble. Tom had been physically polite with me, but in the way a friend would. And a hug was also a pretty friendly gesture, but this felt different. In the darkness of my hotel room, my head resting on his shoulder, our arms wrapped around each other, our bodies melded into the other, it felt like home.

“You see? I’m real, a real live human person, flesh and blood and not at all frightening,” he said to the top of my head. I did feel better with him holding me. If I could only get over the overwhelming emotional fangirl thing… He was real; he was Oakley, and Bill, and Loki, and Capt. Nicholls, and Fitzgerald, and all the others, all at once. And in the end, they all blended into Tom, and I could feel a strange revelation come over me. I needed this, I needed him to hold me and show me with his kindness and sincerity that he was just some guy who had a cool job that I happened to like. That was a glaring understatement, but it would do. I sighed, pulling away from him. I couldn't stay in his arms all night. And, of course, if I wanted to, he’d be too polite to tell me no, maybe. “Better now?” He asked.

“Yes,” I replied simply. All the feelings I had over the day, all the silly fangirling and doubts slowly began to subside, but not as quickly as I would have liked. He was still Tom, after all. 

Suddenly, Tom broke away from me and got up off the bed, shuffling to the nightstand in the dark. Switching on the lamp, I shielded my eyes briefly as they adjusted to the light. He came back and sat down where he was before and took my hands in his. “I have an idea, if you are willing. What do you say we go over to my room, see what we have in the refrigerator, put on some amazing music, and you and I talk. Would you like that?” Tom asked, his right eyebrow rising slightly. “You know I did ask you to tell me about yourself earlier, but I don't think you were in a state to then. I think you may be now. What do you say?” 

Tom squeezed my hands gently, his fingers intertwining with my own. He watched me with a heartbreakingly hopeful look, and I wanted very much to melt away onto the floor. How could I say no? “Yes, that would be great.”


	6. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight trigger warning, but nothing too terrible, read at your own risk. :)
> 
> 11 – VNV Nation – Illusion http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGuGiezVzXE  
> 12 – Placebo – Running Up That Hill http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KEEXyRL0qE  
> 13 – Lisa Girrard & Patrick Cassidy – Elegy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4PqWjug1Jg  
> 14 – Emerson Lake and Palmer – Still…You Turn Me On http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8VHHcd0M_o

I sat against the arm of Tom’s couch, my knees up to my chest, my arms wrapped around them. Tom was foraging in the refrigerator, getting snacks to bring over to the coffee table for our chat. I had a large glass of water before I came over to his room, trying to help dilute some of the alcohol in my body. I didn't want to slur or giggle all the way through our “bonding time”; that would be horrible. I could hear the faint piano of “Illusion” begin on Tom’s surround sound stereo system. He decided that I should bring over my MP3 player and play my music while we spoke. He thought I would be more relaxed if I listened to something that belonged to me. Never mind that I listened to a lot of the same music he did, but whatever, Tom logic. I could hear him humming to himself as he gathered, and I rest my chin on my knees. I closed my eyes, listening to his voice. If he gave up acting, he would be an excellent lead singer in any band he wanted to perform in, and I would gladly pay to see him front row and center.

“Here we are...let’s see what I found for us!” Tom said cheerfully, breaking me out of my brief reverie. He placed sliced cheese and artisan crackers that were cleverly arranged on a plate, along with the bowl of fresh fruit that was requested for his room. There was also his box of gorgeous chocolates that looked like it included truffles and caramels and mysterious chocolate covered something’s. He also placed two large bottles of water in front of us and sat with his back against the other arm of the couch, his legs splayed on the cushions. He had removed his cardigan, but had left on his white t-shirt and switched out of his black trousers for black silky running pants. With the snacks, music, and jammies, I felt like I was at a very unusual slumber party. 

Tom was watching me look at him, my eyes shifting and diverting every few seconds, and he smiled softly. “Let’s try this again. Hello, I’m Tom, and you are...?” He leaned towards me, extending his hand with a cheeky smile. 

I tried not to gulp and slowly took his hand. “Rebecca. My friends call me Becca, but I prefer Rebecca,” I answered, still holding his hand.

“And are we friends, Rebecca?” Tom asked, his voice smooth as silk velvet; he squeezed my fingers gently. I looked away. I could feel the blush creeping in over my cheeks, and my chest tightened. “No, no, no...We won’t have any of that, my dear. I’m just me, remember? I’m just a man meeting a woman for the first time, got it?”

My eyes rolled back to him and I squeezed my lips together to stifle a giggle. He refused to let go of me. “Well, I suppose we are. I mean, we just met, you know. I don't know really -” I said, sounding embarrassed. 

Tom sat back a little, not letting go. He looked thoughtful, as if he was working something out in his mind. “You know, I have an idea. If we are going to do this, then you need to relax. And NO, you are not getting into any of my Jameson, so just get that out of your pretty head right now,” he said, teasing me. The blush on my cheeks deepened and I bit my lower lip, hiding a pleased grin. He jumped off the couch, pulling me up with him. “Alright, come with me. You and I are going to do an exercise together, and I think it will help you relax around me. Are you game?”

I looked up at him and nodded silently. I was willing to try anything at this point. Tom backed away from the couch, tugging me along after him, and went to an open area on the floor. He pulled me down to the floor with him, and we sat cross legged in front of each other. Tom let go of me and leaned over, wrapping his long arms around my hips and scooting me closer to him so our knees touched. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from squeaking. Once I was arranged to his satisfaction, he sat up, gently taking my hands and placed them on my knees, and then he did the same. He looked down at me and laughed briefly, his right eyebrow raised at me with a tiny pleased smile.

“Nice shirt, by the way.” He smirked at me, and I was embarrassed for the eighty seventh time this evening. I had the good sense to look abashed and looked away. A weak “thanks” was all I could get out. Tom wiggled toward me a bit more, getting situated again. He smiled, his hand reaching up to me tentatively. He took a hold of the end of my braid and looped his finger through my hair tie, releasing my still moist strands around my shoulders. His fingers massaged my skull, shaking my hair loose from its braid and smoothing it back away from my face. I fought to keep my eyes open and not close them in the sheer ecstasy of his fingers in my hair. Tom had the decency to look a little shy, and with a small grin, he got back down to business.

“Now, this may seem a bit odd, but I think it might help. All we are going to do is sit and make constant eye contact. While we make eye contact, I just want you to breathe in slowly, through your nose and then out your mouth. Then, once you’ve relaxed a bit, we’ll move on to something else, got it?” Tom explained. I wasn’t sure what he meant specifically. What something else? What did he mean? He wanted me to breathe at him? The last effects of the alcohol were leaving me, and I must have looked confused, so he decided to demonstrate. “Ok, this is what I mean. Now...look at me.”

I looked up at Tom and our eyes locked. Watching him watching me, I could feel my blood turn immediately to ice water and set fire to my cheeks. In the dim light of his room, his eyes were a very dark blue. My fingers dug into my knees to keep from giggling or hyperventilating; I could feel the threat of an eruption at any moment. The moment was almost overwhelming; I could feel the breath catch in my throat. I had a difficult time looking at some of the photos when he was looking directly into a camera, and here I was, looking directly into the eyes of the man himself. I hoped I would live through this... Tom just kept looking deep into my eyes, and I could gradually feel myself calm the hell down. In through my nose and out through my mouth... As I looked at him, all the faces of all of his characters seemed to emerge and meld back into him. I could see the naivety of Bill, the cockiness of Oakley, the sensitivity of Capt Nicholls, the sadness of Freddie, the sassiness of Magnus, and finally, my precious wounded Loki. I could feel my body go slowly, completely calm, and I took another deep breath. We sat there, watching each other breathe. I forgot how ridiculous I should have felt doing this with him, as he was breathing along with me, looking at me with his very blue eyes and occasionally nodding his encouragement.

“Good. Now, I want you to reach up, put your hands flat against mine without breaking your eye contact, alright?” Tom asked. I nodded, trying my best to keep my eyes on him. I knew he was only doing this so I could get over all this nonsense and be a relatively normal person this weekend. Despite feeling truly absurd, I reached up with both hands and I placed them against his. Tom’s hands were warm and larger than I expected; I shifted mine around until my small hands rest comfortably against his. I fought the urge to drop my fingers and twine them with his, so much so that I stopped concentrating and bit my lower lip to keep from grinning. In through my nose and out through my mouth... I could hear “Running up That Hill” begin playing quietly on my MP3 player in the distance, and the drumming heartbeat helped me refocus on what we were doing.

“Alright, now lean towards me,” Tom said, his voice sober and quiet. I leaned forward slowly as he leaned closer to me, and I rest my forehead against his as he'd asked. I pushed away my awkwardness and decided to just go with this. What could it hurt? His eyes blended into an ocean of blues and greens with small flecks of yellow. I could feel my breath quicken as our foreheads touched. I inhaled sharply through my nose and out my mouth, watching him. I blinked a few times, trying to keep my emotions in check. 

“Good, you are doing very well, Rebecca. Just breathe with me,” Tom said, his eyes searching mine as I fought quietly against hysterics. I nodded against his forehead, my eyes clearing and breathing in and out. His eyes, the touch of his hands, the pressure of his knees anchored me, and I held on for dear life. I didn’t want to succumb to the insecure fangirl inside of me. I wanted this little exercise to help dissolve all the foolishness, despite how foolish I felt doing it. 

One breath, two breaths - in slowly and out slowly; just keep looking at him. I practiced this mantra and concentrated. Tom closed his eyes briefly and I could feel his brow wrinkling against mine. His face seemed to change, his brows furrowed and unfurrowed. As he opened his eyes again, they seemed transformed somehow, less intense, and full of wide-eyed wonder and innocent concern.

“You're a virgin?” He asked suddenly, his voice incredulous. I shifted against him, my eyes widening and then narrowing, startled and then confused. What the - ? Without another word, he pulled his right hand away from mine, placing his finger against my lips, indicating silence. I dropped my hand to my knee as his eyes searched mine. I wanted to tell him I didn't understand, but he pushed his finger gently against my lips, quieting any questions I wanted to ask. “Well um, if it’s gonna be our first...I mean, your first time, then it should be something special. An occasion we'll never forget. With, um...candles, and rose petals, beautiful music.” Wait, what? I wanted to pull away; I had no idea what he was saying. What the hell was he talking about? Tom pulled his other hand away from mine and circled it around the back of my neck, holding my head still against his, and I dropped my other hand to my other knee. I was sure he could sense my trepidation and my urge to flee, so he held on to me, making sure I didn’t move. “It'll just be you and me, communing with nature. I'll build a teepee. It'll have its own self-sustaining heating system powered by us. It'll be an eco-friendly love pod,” he said, his voice determined and passionate. Was he... OH GOD. I recognized now what he was saying to me. I stifled a laugh, which came out as a strangled snort, my head pushing against his. He shifted, his warm fingers circling around the span of my neck. I settled down and bit my lip to keep from giggling, trying to regain my composure. One breath in and then out again... His eyes glittered the exact same as Bill’s did when he and Jewel were planning their first intimate time together. So naive and young; it was amazing and hysterical watching this at close range. Dear lord, it was hard not to laugh, but I did anyway. Tom’s eyes closed; he laughed with me quietly for a moment and then cleared his throat. I quieted down, a few stray giggles escaped, but I quickly got serious and resumed my breathing. He took a second, his eyes squeezing tighter for a moment, and then he opened them, his face changing once more.

“So this afternoon, uh, an Italian bella walks past, she’s amazing, ten minutes later, another one walks past. Are you asking me to make a promise to one of them?” Tom said conversationally. His facial transformation was startling; he was able to strip away ten years as he spoke. His head moved a bit as he spoke, jostling me a bit, but I kept watching him speak, all my giggles had dissolved. “I just think, I just think men and women are always bound to be unfaithful, I - I really think that.” Oh no...not Oakley. I felt my heart squeeze; I didn't like the character. I always thought he was childish and cocky as hell, but that didn't mean I didn't enjoy Tom’s portrayal. “Come on, that has to be part of it. If when you meet someone, that’s the first thing you think. If the sex isn't there, you're dead in the water. Doesn't matter if you like them, it doesn't matter if you, if you, if they make you feel good, or if you like their personality, or if they make you laugh. If the sex isn't good its, it’s for shit. What are you in it for? It dies, surely.” Tom had a faraway look in his eyes as he delivered this new line. I hated how Oakley acted. I hated the way he seemed to lead Anna on, making her think that he was interested in her, giving her false hope that she was not old and used up, but that she was still vibrant and beautiful and relevant. That angelic face with the acerbic tongue of a typical unsympathetic teenage male. He was the shining example of all the men I had dealt with in my life; rejection, disapproval, and dismissal. Watching him become this character again made me understand something I hadn't yet admitted to myself. I hated Oakley, despite Tom’s portrayal. And I very much didn’t want to see anymore of him. 

Tom closed his eyes again, our foreheads still mashed together. His finger had dropped from my lips, and he rest his hand on my knee near mine as he held onto my neck. For the first time in Tom’s presence, I could feel my inner fangirl go slowly and absolutely still. I continued to breathe quietly, feeling his warm hand on the back of my neck, and the other resting gently on my knee. After a few moments, he opened his eyes, and they looked sad and hopeful. “I really mean it; it’s not just a line. I really think you’re the most attractive girl I’ve met.” I could see his eyes turn a deep shade of blue as Freddie spoke through him. If Oakley made my heart clench, Freddie was going to break it. His hand shifted and circled around and gently squeezed the top of my knee. My breath caught in my throat and I felt like I couldn't breathe. There were no nervous giggles or anxiety; he had me... “I survived the Battle of Britain, old fruit, old darling. Survived! And the mixture of fear and excitement, there’s nothing like it. Excitement and fear. Irresistible combo. We were doing something important, a dear old blighty. Old fruit...old darling...” I knew what came next, and I knew Tom did as well. He became suddenly very quiet and just looked at me as I looked at him. His eyes searched mine. Would he take that next step? Could I survive it? Would I live through a kiss from those lips? I had to close my eyes; the overwhelming emotions he stirred in me threatened to spill out. Dear god, please don't...I would not be responsible for my actions...

I didn't know if I could go on with this exercise; I wanted to pull away from Tom. He had me grounded, yet I was re-living all these moments with him that I had watched over and over again in the privacy of my bedroom on my laptop, and in these few short moments, he was bringing all these characters to life for me, but I didn’t know if I could continue. I could see his logic; he had transformed into what I had come to adore and idolize in the many months before this moment, and he was doing his best to make them real and tangible and bring them within a place in me that I could just be myself with who he really was. He was not these characters, he was no god, he was Tom. A living, breathing man who I truly didn't know well, that I would be spending the next three days with. And I had to get over this obsession and get to know him for himself.

I could feel Tom’s warm hand tense on the back of my neck, his grip tightening. His other hand slid away from my knee and joined the other to twine in my hair, pulling me even closer to him, our lips a scant breath apart. I could hear “Elegy” begin on my MP3 player, and I thought, oh awesome...great timing. I could feel his fingers loop thru strands of my hair and pull as he yanked my head back, looming menacingly over me. His breath quickened and caught in his throat, and I could feel his body pulsing next to me. Tom exhaled quickly, his labored breath sounding like what could only be described as a tortured heave of air.

“Kneel before me.” 

My eyes popped open immediately and I inhaled sharply through my nose. No no no...not Loki. I could feel my inner thighs begin to tremble, my skin flushing hot down to my toes. This would be my undoing and I knew it. “I said...KNEEL!!!” Tom yelled violently, his eyes cutting into hateful triangles of bright green, his forehead pressing painfully into my own, a tear forming in the corner of his eye and threatening to spill down his cheek. My shaking intensified in earnest, and I felt my foolish body react, the rush of moist heat between my thighs startling me. I was scared as hell of him, but also flushing hot with desire, and my mouth began to water. My eyes filled with tears, my heart breaking with unrequited lust for this broken creature. I could see his face; oh, my beautiful Loki, you are even more terrifyingly beautiful up close... Tom’s eyes seemed to shift from bright green to a fragile shade of emerald. I thought I would weep from the intensity...in fact, I did. 

“Is not this simpler? Is this not your natural state? It’s the unspoken truth of humanity, that you crave subjugation. The bright lure of freedom diminishes your life's joy in a mad scramble for power - for identity. You were made to be ruled. In the end, you will always kneel.” Tom’s voice was strained and cracked as he spoke, his breath warm on my face. My own breath had quickened into short gasps. I could feel the undeniable coil of want squatting low in my belly, threatening to shoot through my limbs. My arms trembled with restraint; I wanted him so much at this point, I thought I would pass out from it. Tom’s hands were cupping the sides of my head, all of his fingers pulling my hair as he looked down at me. If he couldn't smell the desire on me, he was truly blind. I closed my eyes; I couldn't look at him anymore. Fear, desire, lust...it all coursed through my veins like a slick drug, and I was high as hell. 

With a quick tug, his lips were suddenly on mine. My body cried out in victory, a shattered and surprised moan ripping through my throat. Oh god yes...please, I’m yours... His lips were strong and moved over mine expertly; I thought I would faint from his intensity. His tongue drove between our lips, tangling and sliding against my own, and I was undone. His fingers in my hair pulled even harder, and I answered, wrapping my shaking arms around him, my fingers digging into his back and deepening our kiss. In one fluid motion, we were up on our knees, our bodies crashing towards the other. He was so much taller than I was; my head hung back as his mouth devoured mine. So much bliss; if I died right then, I would be happy with that. I ran my hands up his back, and pulled him closer, our bodies crushed desperately together and asking the silent question. Will you have me?

Before that question could get answered, Tom pulled slowly away, reluctantly breaking our kiss. My eyes fluttered open; they were drunk with desire and I was dizzy from emotion. He was looking down at me, his brows furrowed and his eyes blinking. He smiled briefly, dropping his forehead against mine and letting out the breath he was holding in a rush. I don't understand, what just happened? His hands untangled slowly from my hair and slipped down around my shoulders. I could feel his heart pounding so close to my own. He pulled me into a rough embrace, my head resting on his chest, and I could hear for myself how fast and loud his heart beat. I didn't know if it was from the intensity of our kiss or all his improvisation and reliving his characters, but whatever it was, he was shaky himself.

“I’m so sorry...I - I don’t know what came over me,” Tom said to the top of my head. Oh, for effs sake, he was apologizing. I laughed nervously; it helped chase away some of the spell he had woven around us. And I felt calm, better than I had felt earlier. I was still shaky with want, but I felt what I could only describe as a kind of peace. He successfully conjured up his characters, forced me to face them, and then blew them away, leaving Tom in the end. I could still feel desire for him, but he had crafted it into something I hoped I could deal with and come to a resolution.

“It’s alright, I didn't mind,” I said, tightening my arms around him. He kissed the top of my head and squeezed me back.

“All better now?” Tom asked, pulling away. He looked down at me, his right brow raised in concern. His face had gone back to the normal cheerful Tom I had met earlier and I laughed again.

“Yes, yes I think I’m all better now. That was...wow. That was amazing,” I said earnestly. 

He smiled down at me again, thumbing away my tears. “Like that, did you?” He breathed heavily, pulling away from me and sitting back on his heels, rubbing his hands on the tops of his thighs. 

I dropped to my behind and sat as well, running my fingers through my hair. I wasn't sure “like” was the word I would've used for it. “It was...different. I have never experienced something quite as intense as that. I’m just... I have no words.” I smiled at him.

“Come on, I’m thirsty as hell. We should get some water.” Tom stood up, reaching down and pulling me up with him. We were both a bit wobbly as we went to the couch. I sat down heavily and drank deep from my water bottle. I could faintly hear “Still...You Turn Me On” playing quietly in the background. Tom drank his bottle dry, his breath deep and labored as he finished. He looked like he had just run a marathon. Hell, he might have, poor thing. He sat down, his head over the back of the couch, staring quietly up at the ceiling. 

I sat on my side of the couch, nursing my water and watching Tom. His chest relaxed into easy breathing eventually. I felt a small inner glow within me, one I hadn't felt in a very long time. And all he did was kiss me; well, he also performed his iconic characters, of course. I idly wondered how peaceful I’d feel if he and I consummated what he had started. With that thought, my body remembered; his voice, his smell, and the intensity of the last ten minutes, and I was slick and ready. But this wasn't the desire of a fangirl, this was desire for him. I felt my neck flush with heat and took the last drink from my water, trying to quench the fire that blazed cheerfully within me.

Tom rolled his head towards me. “Well, that was unexpected,” He said, his throat moving with his words.

I set my empty bottle on the table. Seeing I was finished, Tom jumped up, grabbing my empty bottle with his and grabbing two more from the fridge. I watched him walk back, the ever cheerful, cheeky smile on his face. He set the bottles on the coffee table next to us and sat in front of me, silently asking for my hands. I leaned towards him and placed my hands in his.

“Now. Do you think we will be more comfortable with each other this weekend?” He asked. 

I didn't break eye contact with him as I would have done before. He had helped me find some small inner strength that I needed to face my fangirl, and I was grateful. “Absolutely. That was...well. I want you to know that nothing like that has ever happened to me before,” I said, my voice dropping to a whisper. I wasn't embarrassed, just overwhelmed with all of the emotion he was able to pull out of me. No man had ever done anything like that for me, and I filed that bit of knowledge away for later.

Tom smiled and laughed, his cheeks pinking. “To be honest, that was something I had never done before either.” 

Wait, what? Well that was certainly interesting... Then again, when would he have had to do something like that? “What gave you the idea? I mean, how could you have known doing what you did would...I don't know, break the Hiddles spell?” I asked.

He laughed suddenly, his eyes lighting up in surprise. “Hiddles spell? Really? Wow... If I were to give in to all the credit and hype my fans heaped upon me. Hiddles spell...” Tom shook his head, but looked thoughtful, not really looking at me anymore. “I thought perhaps if you could experience in person all of those portrayals and caricatures, you could see that they aren't really me. And I do realize that my performances are what has drawn so much interest in me, but they're not who I am,” he said, pulling away and taking his new bottle from the table. 

I understood completely what he meant. Of course, that didn't explain the grand finale. I looked at him as he silently pondered his own thoughts and I decided to tackle the 600-pound gorilla in the room. “Yes, I agree, but I do have one question, though. At the end, when you were doing your Stuttgart monologue, I don't remember you laying a kiss like that on anyone in the movie. If I remember correctly, your little speech was interrupted by one brave soul standing up to you in all your terrifying Lokiness, and I’m fairly positive you didn’t go thank him with a quick snog. What was that exactly?” I asked innocently. 

Tom almost choked on the swallow he had just taken. I sat very calmly and watched him regain his composure. I didn't feel so much like the awestruck little fan any longer, and I wanted an answer. “Ah...yes, well,” he started, wiping the bottom of his lip with his thumb. He placed his bottle back on the table and turned the prettiest shade of pink I ever saw on a man. Oh, now I liked this...the tables have turned, haven't they, Mr. Hiddleston? I felt a dirty sense of satisfaction as I waited for him to continue. He rubbed his hand over his face; he looked nervous. “Damn. I’m going to have to be honest, I never intended for that to happen. I thought we would just sit in lotus position and do some breathing techniques to help you relax. But, as we sat there, it just occurred to me to give that little idea a go, to walk you through all of those roles...to show you....well.” Tom was nervous; he ran his fingers through his hair and it poofed up in all its wavy glory. He turned suddenly to me, but he didn't take my hands. “When I was doing my monologue, I could feel...well, I felt this amazing flood of energy from you. It was - overwhelming. I could actually feel these intense waves flowing around me. I didn't know if I could finish my speech...I just - it just consumed me, and in the end, I found I couldn't help myself.” Tom looked up at me, his eyes asking for forgiveness for what he had done. I wanted to laugh, but he looked pensive and pathetic, and I didn’t want make him feel any worse. 

I decided to put him out of his misery. “It’s alright, I understand. And if you think you’ve insulted me, or besmirched my honor, you would be wrong. I’m a grown up; I get that it was literally in the heat of the moment. No need to apologize, and there is nothing to forgive.” I smiled benevolently at him. He let out the breath he was holding, falling dramatically forwards on the couch, his head laying close to my folded leg.

“Oh, bless you for saying that. I thought perhaps I had overstepped my bounds and had done something dreadful,” Tom said, his voice muffled by the couch cushion. I had to fight from putting my hand on his head and running my fingers through his hair, but I knew it would be a mistake if I did. I didn't want to cross any boundaries with him, and if I touched him, there would be the possibility of all kinds of boundary crossing. He flipped over, sliding his legs onto the other arm of the couch, and I looked at his upside down face grinning up at me. He seemed to recover from his embarrassment. “Right, now let’s talk.”

We spent the next few hours telling stories back and forth to each other. He told me about growing up in Oxford and then moving to London, and I told him about my misery of being an only child with disconnected parents. He shared with me about his parents’ divorce and how it affected him when he was away at school, and I told him about my grandparents and how close we were when I was growing up. He shared stories about his sisters and how they used to tease him all the time, and I told him about my first crush in middle school. He shared with me about his charity work and how much it had changed his view of life, and I talked about my frustration with not continuing school and becoming a publicist. We had eased into each other’s experiences until we both were trying to one-up the other with something outrageous from our past. I had told him about the time I had accidentally sped my car into a ditch trying to impress a boy I was dating in high school, and he told me about a time he had a crush on a girl in school who didn't know he existed. We shared back and forth, talking about movies and music and places we wanted to travel, until Tom looked at his phone and noticed the time.

“Uh oh...well. I think we need to table it for tonight, it’s getting on to half past two,” he said sadly, turning around the face of his phone. Holy crap, we both needed to get to bed, and sooner rather than later. We had demolished all of his cheese and crackers, eaten half of his bowl of fruit, and he had shared the caramels from his box of chocolates. They were amazing. 

I stood up from the couch, stretching my arms high in the air, working out the stiffness of my back. “Well, I guess this is goodnight. Thank you again, for everything.” He nodded and walked me to our shared door. I was about to walk through with a wave goodbye, and then I remembered. His room service! I facepalmed. I turned to him, feeling foolish, and he looked at me with eyebrows raised in question. “Tom, I didn’t place your order for breakfast when I got back to my room like I said I would. I can call down and do that now before I go to bed, but I’ll need you to tell me what you’ll want before I do,” I said, very embarrassed. I had gotten wrapped up in absurdity and forgot how to do my job. We had become new friends over the course of a few hours and I definitely wouldn't allow that to happen again.

“Faffing about on the job already, I see. Where is the menu?” Tom asked, teasing me. I went to get the room service menu and form to fill out. He scanned over it quickly, marking what he’d like, and handed it back to me. I took it and turned to go back to my room to phone it in for him. As I reached for my door, I felt his hand on my shoulder, stopping me. I turned and looked up at him, his hand sliding from my shoulder to rest on my hip. “Choose what you want, as well. I don't want to eat alone.”

I nodded. “That is very nice of you. I will. I guess I’ll see you later this morning then?”

Tom looked down at me and suddenly pulled me against him. I tentatively wrapped my arms around his waist; my head nestled into the crook of his neck. It was still odd for me, the touching and the hugging; I hoped I would get used to it. 

“Thank you again for tonight. I am very much looking forward to this weekend with you,” he said to the top of my head.

I pulled away, his arm still circling my waist; I stood on tiptoe, feeling brave, and kissed his cheek. “Thank you. Now please go get some sleep. You have a big weekend, and I’m sure you will need your beauty rest.” 

Tom continued to look at me and put his forehead against mine. I looked up into his eyes, and the memory of our earlier engagement flared up between us. I wasn't prepared for this; I had done so well getting to know him and reaching a fragile point of familiarity. He blinked once, twice, and then his lips lowered to mine in a very gentle and polite kiss. It was a kiss between friends, and my heart ached from the simplicity and truth of it. There were other parts of me aching as well, but I pushed those aside and kissed him back.

Tom ended our kiss with another peck on my nose, and lastly, one on my forehead. He winked, turned me around, and walked me through my door. “Sleep well, Rebecca.” And with that, I closed the door between us. 

I phoned down to the front desk and placed our breakfast orders, apologizing profusely for the late hour, begged them to get the order placed, and thanked them when they found out who it was for and agreed to make an exception. I also sent a text to Brian informing him I would not be coming down to breakfast in the restaurant, but I would catch up with him some time after lunch to go over any last minute things for opening ceremonies. After I had all my business taken care of, I went to my closet to pick out my outfit for tomorrow, or rather, later today. None of my handler outfits were Loki’d thankfully; I wanted to look like a professional for Tom. After staring at all my choices, I decided on a pair of black dress leggings, a sleeveless grey ruched silk blouse, a black linen boyfriend blazer with the cuffs rolled up three quarters, and strappy black heeled sandals. I took my choices and laid them out on the second bed I wasn't planning on sleeping in.

After taking my nightly pill regimen with a large glass of water, I crawled into bed finally. I pulled what I had christened as my Tom pillow from the other bed and cuddled with it. I felt ridiculous, after spending most of the night with the man, yet I still wanted to feel close to him. My mind went over the nights events, and I was left breathless and wanting all over again. I had no idea if our kiss would amount to anything, and I chastised myself for even thinking that way about it. I couldn’t think about it. My fangirl would have to just shut up and get over it, Tom and I both had a job to do this weekend. As I buried my nose into the fluffy down, trying to forget the memory of his heated lips on mine, I finally drifted off to sleep.


	7. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 15 – Placebo – Teenage Angst http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fx5bfLI5slU  
> 16 – Sleeper – Atomic http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoJQUs8S0Go

I woke five minutes before my alarm went off. I groaned and turned over; I hated when I woke before my bloody alarm. It usually happened when I had a lot on my mind, or if I was worried I’d oversleep. And with my late night last night dancing about in my subconscious as I slept, I inherently knew I would be in danger of sleeping in. It was entirely too bright in my dim room, so I rolled over into a ball, pulling the down filled duvet over my head. I had debated whether six hours would be enough sleep, but when the front desk had insisted they make Tom’s room service delivery during regular breakfast hours, I felt I had no choice. Well, maybe I could get away with eating and then crawling back into bed after breakfast. But I knew better; that wouldn't happen. I was exhausted from all of yesterday’s goings-on; I felt like the walking dead and I hadn’t even gotten out of bed yet. I had also slept poorly, dreaming chaotic disjointed dreams of Tom and myself. Over and over, the same theme; wandering through abandoned buildings, hotels, and apartment buildings, looking for Tom. The few times I found him, he would either shove me on my knees and scream at me, or throw me against a wall and make violent, angry love to me. Waking up with a feeling of fear and arousal wasn’t how I planned my morning. Either way, I didn’t pass the night well.

 

My phone alarm came on with a blast of “Teenage Angst” and I sighed, facing the inevitable day. I threw back my covers and trudged to the bathroom to take care of my necessaries. I was thankful I had showered last night; I would only need to brush my teeth and wash my face this morning.

 

After my morning toilette, I went to my phone to see if there were any texts or voicemails waiting for me. Brian had sent me two; one in response to not having breakfast together this morning, and the other asking if Tom needed anything replenished in his room. I knew Tom would need some things for his fridge, but I didn't know for sure. I messaged Brian back, telling him I would go double check and then let him know. 

 

It was chilly in my room this morning, so I pulled on my favorite black Loki’s Army hoodie and proceeded to text Tom to see if he was up yet. I needed to get into his room and double check his supplies for Brian. Then again, it occurred to me that he might still be in bed, and if our doors were unlocked, I could sneak in there and check it out on my own without disturbing him. I shoved my phone in my hoodie pocket and slipped into my mary jane’s. I was still in my pajamas, but I didn't care at the moment. If Tom saw me decked out in all my Loki gear this morning, then so be it. I needed to check his fridge.

 

I checked my phone one last time; no message from Tom, so I decided to try our door. I had left mine unlocked from my side, and it appeared he didn’t shut his door after he had sent me home last night. How convenient, I smiled. I left my door open; I wouldn't be in there long. 

 

His room was eerily quiet. The cheery sunshine streaming in through the windows was super bright; I felt like Nosferatu emerging from a dim tomb. He must have forgotten to close the drapes when he went to bed last night. How like him to greet the day with vim and vigor, as I was the opposite, always trying to burrow into as much darkness as possible to avoid the sun. I walked over to his kitchen area and opened his fridge to check out what he had left. Ok, definitely needed to get some cheeses and bottles of water for sure. I didn't see anything else that needed to be brought in, so I shut the fridge and texted Brian. “Cheese, crackers, water, fruit.” I hit send and noticed Tom had yet to respond to my text. It was so quiet in here; maybe he was still asleep? And it was already nine thirty; his breakfast would be here any minute. I bit my lip and I decided I needed to go up and see if he was still in bed. That was a lovely thought that I chose to entertain myself with as I went up the stairs. Sprawled on his stomach, the sheets covering him from the waist down, exposing his glorious back as it rose deeply and evenly with his breathing, his curls scattered wildly on his pillow... My eyes clenched tight, shutting that image up into my brain and dismissing it. Stop it brain, seriously...

 

With a resigned sigh, I tiptoed up the remaining stairs to the sleeping floor of his suite. I hoped he wouldn't think I was intruding or creeping on him. Then again, he hadn't answered any of my messages, so I supposed I had a good enough excuse. As I rounded the corner, I noticed there was no one in the bed. It was empty. Part of me was disappointed that he wasn’t in the bed lying in the position I had thought he would be in. The bed had been slept in, but there was currently no Tom. A surge of panic went through me, and I went over to the edge of the balcony and looked down into the main suite area, not seeing him. I had just been down there, but maybe he was in that bathroom? Oh god, did I lose him? I went back to the bed and double checked. Definitely not there. Turning to head downstairs, I saw a crack of light thru the door of his bathroom. I stopped dead in my tracks. I tilted my head and I could make out the edge of his half naked body in front of the bathroom mirror through the crack in the door. My cheeks flushed hot, not wanting to intrude, but I also couldn't help taking a tiny peek.

 

Tom must have just gotten out of the shower; he was in nothing but a towel draped precariously around his hips. I covered my mouth, and involuntary, “Oh...” almost escaping. He leaned against the sink vanity, running his fingers through his hair. It looked like he had some sort of product on his hands, and he massaged this into his unruly wet curls. I removed my hand and bit my lip, trying not to make a sound. He looked exactly like Prince Hal in the sauna scene, minus all the war injuries of course, and I stood frozen, staring at him. I shouldn't be up here gawking at him. But I couldn't help myself; he was so pretty. I had never seen another man who had his physique. He was lanky and strong, extremely tall and graceful, effeminate, yet exuding a masculinity that took my breath away. The middle of his back was still wet; he must have missed this spot when toweling off, and I grinned. The body wash he used lingered through the open door. Oh god, he smelled fantastic... I took a step closer, not taking my eyes off of him. He dried his hands on a towel on the counter, giving himself a good once over in the mirror. 

 

Suddenly, there was a sharp knock on his door below my feet. Oh crap, breakfast! My eyes popped open in fear of discovery, and I creeped away as fast as I could, racing back down his stairs on tiptoe. I ran to the door as quietly as I could, double checked that it was indeed breakfast, caught my guilty breath, and then opened the door. I hoped he hadn't heard me.

 

The gentleman from room service wheeled in the cart with our meals and rolled it to the seating area in front of the kitchen bar. I could hear activity upstairs, so I knew Tom had heard the door. I slipped room service a five, and the gentleman left without a word. I placed the covered dishes on the dining table and began to set the table for breakfast.

 

“Hello?” I heard a voice float down to me from the balcony. I looked up and saw Tom’s wet head peeking out over the edge. Suddenly, a wild Hiddles...

 

“Good morning! Your breakfast is ready,” I said, smiling up at him. He had not yet put anything on from the waist up, and by the way he was standing, looked to be gripping the edge of his towel. I gulped.

 

Tom smiled down at me. “Good morning, beautiful! I’ll be right down.” He disappeared from the edge of the balcony, and I finished setting up our plates. I placed his veggie and egg-white omelet with a side of multigrain toast and a small bowl of fruit at his place. Ooh...there was also a huge carafe of strong black coffee, along with a bowl of different flavored creamers. I smiled and placed the carafe in the middle of the table. I made sure his place setting was perfect, and then went to work on mine. I had decided on steak and eggs with roasted potatoes for breakfast. I needed the carbs and protein to keep up with him today, and I was sure I was going to need the energy.

 

Walking down the last of the stairs and up to the table, Tom pulled a white t-shirt over his head. I turned, hearing him, and caught a brief glimpse of his belly as he pulled his shirt down and over his chest. Good morning, beautiful, indeed. I tried not to leer at him, so I looked away quickly, and gave a stern warning to my ever-present rebellious butterflies. He walked up behind me, wrapping an arm around my waist in a brief hug before sitting down at his meal. I sat down opposite him and poured my coffee, wishing idly he had done more than just squeeze me his good morning. Tom was looking over his place setting, arranging things to his satisfaction, and I shooed away my thoughts. Too early for any of that, brain, cut it out. 

 

“This looks amazing. I’m starved!” He said, pouring his own cup of the rich black coffee. “Did you sleep well?”

 

I took a gingerly sip, watching him. “I suppose so. I think I could have used another four hours, but I’ll be ok.” I smiled, deciding my coffee definitely needed more sugar. “And yourself? How did you sleep?”

 

Tom smiled tiredly as he took an ungentlemanly slurp of the steamy hot liquid. Despite his freshly showered appearance, his eyes seemed strained around the edges. “Fitfully. Tossed around a bit until after three, and then woke up wide awake at six and couldn't get back to sleep. So, after an hour of laying up there, I got up, went downstairs to the gym, and ran on the treadmill for a while. It helped, but I’m still a bit knackered.” He looked pensive for a moment, like something unpleasant had crossed his mind. I watched emotions play across his face, and I was curious as to why he had so much trouble sleeping. I decided on jetlag and added more sugar and cream to my cup, watching him recover from whatever deep thought was plaguing him.

 

“Well, hopefully you can get some rest this afternoon,” I remarked over my mug. Hopefully, which of course would mean I would get some rest as well; like he had said, I was knackered as well.

 

Tom tore into his breakfast and didn't say much while we ate. He made quick work of his omelet and fruit, and finally slowed down a bit as he munched his toast and sipped on his coffee. He was quiet, but as I ate my own breakfast, I occasionally caught him stealing furtive glances at me, an almost hungry look in his eyes, and with my imagination, I didn't think it had anything to do with breakfast. He would either smile shyly or dart his eyes away at the last second if our eyes met. Very strange; made me want to ask what was wrong, but I didn’t dare. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know.

 

I opened up the Drive on my phone one more time to double check his schedule. “Tom, I had a few things I wanted to go over with you and get some input. Is that alright?” I asked, scrolling back up to the top of my schedule. Tom looked up at me, swallowing the last of his first cup of coffee and preparing a second.

 

“Absolutely, please,” he said, pouring another cup for himself. Maybe he was just tired. Maybe he was recovering from jet lag. Who knew what was going on with him. Tom smiled quietly and cradled his mug in his hands with a faraway look on his face.

 

“Alright, it’s almost ten now, and like we covered yesterday, you don't have anything going on until this evening. What time would you like to have lunch?” I asked.

 

Tom looked away and then back at me, the confusion crinkling the corners of his eyes with a suppressed grin. “I’ve only just had breakfast. I’m not sure I can make a determination as to when I will be hungry again.” 

 

I rolled my eyes at him and smirked. “I realize that, but I’m putting your schedule together for the day. I was thinking around one. Would you prefer eating in your room or venturing downstairs to the restaurant?”

 

Tom looked thoughtful for a moment, taking a much more mannerly sip from his cup. “I think I’d like to dine downstairs, if you don't mind?” He said, his right eyebrow rising in question. 

 

I nodded and made a note. I would be updating his schedule on my laptop after we were done here. “Ok, so lunch downstairs at one. Would you prefer a reservation in a secluded area or did you want to eat out in the open? Or does it matter?” I asked. It did matter to me; I didn't know how he would feel eating out in the open with the convention attendees. I didn't think they’d do anything, but I couldn't rule out, if he was recognized, if they would ask for a photograph or something.

 

I could feel Tom watching me as I took down my notes. I finished my latest scribble and slowly looked up at him, waiting for his response. His eyes were dark this morning, like blue agate. My blue eyes changed as well, according to mood or what I was wearing; must be an English thing. I was only two generations removed; my grandfather had been English and I had his eye color. But these English eyes on me were calculating something else entirely, turning something over and over in his mind. And I didn’t think it was about lunch. I stared boldly back at him; I wasn’t as nervous around him anymore, and I held my ground as I calmly watched him look at me. He raised his mug and took a very slow sip, his eyes never leaving mine. What the hell was he up to this morning? Tom smiled suddenly, placing his mug back on the table next to his empty breakfast plate. “It doesn't matter to me. Out in the open is fine.”

 

I went through the rest of his schedule with him up until the evening, all the while Tom watching me quietly, fidgeting with the cloth napkin on the table next to his plate. One pm lunch in the restaurant with a break from two thirty to five thirty, then trek over to the convention center for opening ceremonies, afterwards dinner in his room, and then he was free for the evening. 

 

I finished my breakfast and started cleaning up our dishes. Tom had taken his mug to the seating area and had brought out his laptop. After loading the cart with our breakfast dishes, I wheeled it outside his hotel room door and began to take my leave of him. I wanted to update his schedule and possibly lie down for an hour or so. “Ok, I’m going next door to update your schedule. Let me know if you need anything -”

 

“You always seem to be trying to escape me. Why is that, exactly?” Tom asked, interrupting me. His voice had an edge to it; not anger, but something definitely not his usual cheerful tone, and it was definitely enough of an edge to stop me dead in my tracks. Tom looked up from his screen briefly with a serious look on his face. He stared at me, and I could feel the heat in his look zoom all the way down to the pit of my stomach. He was acting very odd this morning. He ran from hot and cold, to indifference and outright ogling me. What the hell, Tom, did I need to do some lotus breathing whatever the hell with you today?

 

“I’m not trying to escape. Like I told you; I want to make sure to give you your space. I don’t want to hover over you and smother you to death. I realize I keep saying this. I’m sorry; I just don't want to get in your way,” I said, putting my large coffee mug on the low table in front of the couch. 

 

Tom’s eyebrows crinkled with consternation for a bit, and then nothing. “What if I wanted you to hover over me? What then? Would you?” Tom asked. His eyes softened as he looked at me over his laptop, almost as if he was shy about asking the question. 

 

Oh my, what was this then? Actor, philanthropist, ovary destroyer... Then again, being all the above, I supposed he could be quite lonely. And we were at ease around each other now. At least I thought we were. At this point, the only thing I was worried about was jumping him and having my way with him...and I knew that couldn't and shouldn’t happen. I nodded, resigned. If he wanted me around, hovering over him, so be it. “Of course, I’ll go get my netbook and work here.” 

 

I went through the open door and into my room to get my computer. The coffee’s attempt at kickstarting me was moderate at best, and I just wanted to curl up and sleep. If we could just forgo lunch and spend the next few hours curled around each other, I think that would be the greatest thing ever. Then again, I wasn’t sure I’d sleep the whole time. With a tired sigh, I admonished my brain yet again for thinking dirty thoughts about Hiddleston so early in the morning and grabbed my case, going back into his room. I sat in the overstuffed chair closest to the armoire so I could use the outlet. Thankfully, his update wouldn't take very long, and then maybe I could just lay on the couch with my headphones, ignore my overactive sex drive, and be lulled to sleep by some Bon Iver for a few hours.

 

Tom and I sat opposite each other, both of us in the matching chairs that flanked the couch, both plugged into the power strip next to the armoire, both of us with our feet on the coffee table to brace our computers. I got signed into my Drive and began updating his schedule.

 

My mind wandered at his behavior this morning. I worried about his sudden and strange mood swings, he didn’t seem like the bright ray of sunshine from yesterday. He seemed needy and vulnerable one moment, and the next moment he could devour me with a look. Not to mention the bonfire he and I had built the night before still had some serious coals that were smoldering inside me quite cheerfully this morning, and I had done my best to ignore them. I had to. He and I were alone in his room for the next few hours, and there was only so much of the internet you could look at until you reached the end. 

 

Finished with his schedule, I signed out and powered down my computer. I hopped up and went to warm my coffee with what remained in the carafe. I was exhausted and fidgety, and I didn't want to disturb Tom while he was taking care of his personal business. I went to the couch, but I really wanted to go back to my room and crawl under my covers for a nap with a very real plus one, i.e. Tom the Pillow, but I knew if I tried, Tom would accuse me of wanting to escape again. So, I put in my ear buds and turned on my MP3 player. I just hoped I wouldn't fall asleep.

 

I sat with my back against the arm of the couch, and I smiled softly, remembering last night. Which of course brought up what happened and I frowned, clearing my throat and clearing the thought of his lips on mine out of my mind. I put my phone in my lap so it appeared like I was looking at it, but I was actually keeping an eye on Tom. “Atomic” came on my player and I turned up the volume louder. I closed my eyes and let my mind wander when my phone suddenly buzzed; Brian had sent me a message. “Hey, word is Julie has been seen on site, keep an eye out just in case.” 

 

Well well well...that was interesting. I wondered why in the world she would show up to an event she wasn't a handler at. Then again... I looked up at Tom. He was running his fingers through his hair and typing furiously, his eyes narrowing a bit as he typed. There was no way she could have stayed away. I know that for a fact. I couldn’t have stayed away; I couldn’t blame her. I was worried she would worm her way into the event through one of the other guests, beg them for an all-access pass, and crash the event to get close to Tom. Oh, I wouldn't put it past her. Damn, that would also mean she could get up here, and then all bets would be off. We’d have to hole up in his room until tonight. I coughed, hiding the sudden laugh that bubbled forth and silly grin on my face, but the thought of rolling around in the bed above me; I couldn't help myself. Ok brain, seriously, not cool... I tried to scold myself into not thinking about him like that. Despite everything we had gone through last night, I was sitting here on the couch, watching him as covertly as possible, consumed with lust as he typed or laughed at something on his screen, or any of his other quirky fidgety mannerisms. It was damned near impossible. I couldn't help watching his long fingers as they typed, or how his tongue would peek from between his lips as he was concentrating on something, or how his face would light up briefly and silently as he worked. Exasperated with myself I shut my eyes and let my head fall back again to the arm of the couch, doing my best to dismiss my dangerous thoughts for the umpteenth time this morning.

 

I jumped guiltily at the sound of Tom closing his laptop quite loudly. Clearing my throat and regaining my composure, I pulled out my ear buds to see what he needed. He looked at me and seemed to have reached a decision. “Let’s go on an adventure,” he said.

 

“Wait, what?” I asked. I had just begun thinking about how to broach it to Tom that he would need to stay in his room all day, and the loon wanted to go out on an adventure? 

 

Tom set his laptop on the coffee table and stood up. “You heard me, let’s go on an adventure. Let’s go do something. I want to get out of this room and go see things, and I want to see them with you. Before everything starts tonight, let’s go for a walk and see what we can see. What do you think?” He looked down, his hand reaching towards me. 

 

Gads, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea. If I got him out of the hotel, it would minimize any “chance” meeting Julie may try and devise. She was a clever one; she’d figure out which room was his and then be relentless in her pursuit. I would be damned if I’d let her near him. Plus, it would be good to get out of here; less opportunity for me to make an ass out of myself. I needed to stop thinking about him in the highly erotic terms my mind was concocting this morning. The fresh air would do me good. “Ok, Tom. We’ll go on an adventure. Did you happen to pack a disguise or anything?” I asked, joking with him. 

 

He smiled at me and nodded. I was only half-serious in the asking. “I did, actually. I have some gear with me that will help me blend in. I’ll go and get dressed, and we’ll leave when you’re ready?” He smiled and bounded off like a six year old going to Chuck E Cheese to play in the ball pit. I watched him take the stairs two at a time up to his sleeping room and disappear. I looked down; I was still in my jammies.

 

I got up and went to my room to see what I could find. I usually packed nice things to wear at an event. I had very few options of something to wear to blend into a convention crowd; I usually dressed in business casual clothes when I was working. We’d have to look innocuous enough to leave the hotel and get back in without being spotted. This meant I should probably dress like an attendee. And all the casual clothes I brought with me were Loki and Hiddleston related. Oh, bloody hell...

 

After applying minimal makeup, I slicked my hair up into a ponytail at the crown of my head. My hairstyle choice removed at least five years from my age; I looked like a con-rat. With much reluctance, I pulled on my regular dark blue skinny jeans and my “You Mad?” Loki shirt. I then slid into my black Converse and pulled on my Loki’s Army hoodie once more. I debated on whether I should grab my grey and black houndstooth scarf, and in the end decided to shove it into my messenger bag for later. I didn't want to overwhelm the poor man, or scare him.

 

I looked up at a knock on the doorframe between our two rooms and Tom peeked in. I was finishing with my last shoelace as he slipped inside. “Well, what do you think? Do you think I can blend in and not be noticed?” I asked, my hands on my hips, awaiting his inspection. Tom threw his head back and laughed his glorious ehehehe.

 

“You look absolutely amazing! My god, look at you! Remarkable....” Tom walked over to me, still laughing to himself. “You’re a walking advertisement for Loki, do you know that?”

 

“Yes, I know that,” I said through clenched teeth. I was both frustrated and secretly proud that he would see me dressed as I normally did. “And I’ll have you know that this is pretty close to how I dress all the time back home,” I finished lamely. I could feel my brows furrow, and I couldn't decide if I wanted to be angry or embarrassed.

 

He laughed again. “Do you own all of the Loki shirts on the planet? Like, at least one copy of every shirt that anyone has ever created? May I?” Tom asked, and then proceeded to unzip my hoodie to take a better look at my shirt. I looked up at him, his face pink with laughter, his tongue peeking through his teeth. I wanted to scream. He knew exactly which one I was wearing; he owned the same one.

 

“Nossir, I don't own all of them, but I’m not going to lie, I own a lot of them. And besides, you can't give me shit about this one; you have the same damned one,” I finished with a smirk. Tom slid his fingertips along my collarbone and my hoodie fell open. My breath caught in my throat at his touch, and I swallowed the urge to reach out to him. He laughed as he saw that, indeed, it was the very same. 

 

“My god...I’m speechless. I would have made a mint off you if I had negotiated my merchandising differently,” Tom said with a wink. I narrowed my eyes at him, taking his hands away from my collarbone and re-zipping my hoodie, my hands shaking a little from touching him.

 

“Big talk coming from you. Is this really your disguise? Do you know you’ll be recognized IMMEDIATELY by any Hiddlestoner within a five block radius?” I asked, giving him the once over. 

 

“Recognized by a what? What do you mean? I’m dressed like anyone else in this part of your country. What makes you think anyone is going to recognize me?” He asked, tugging on his red plaid shirt. The red plaid shirt. He had paired this with his black washed out jeans and his iconic brown boots. The same boots he wore everywhere to everything. Tom had also chosen to wear his Avengers ball cap with his black leather jacket. Oh dear lord...we’d be swamped in seconds. It was my turn to laugh and, bless him, he had no idea why. Oh, excuse me, there was a small difference, he was wearing one of his white t-shirts under the red plaid. That would clinch it, like an invisibility cloak. No one would suspect a thing. I laughed again. “Are you ready to go, Mr. Hiddleston?” I asked, trying to stop my giggling. 

Tom looked at me suspiciously. I couldn't explain Tumblr to him, not yet. And I didn't have the time. I tugged on his sleeve and he nodded. “Sure, let’s go. Lead the way.”


	8. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter VIII

I double checked my pockets; ID, money, con badges, room keys, phone. I wasn't taking my messenger bag with me; no need to, since we wouldn't be on the convention floor. I had everything, so I led him out the door.

I peeked up and down the hallway. There was a bit of a buzz with a handful of volunteers, but no sign of Julie or any of the main staff or guests, at least not yet. I beckoned for Tom to follow, and we walked to the elevators. The volunteer at his post gave me an inquiring look, and I pulled out both of our badges from my hoodie pocket. He nodded and went back to his Nintendo DS. The elevator arrived and, thankfully, it was empty.

“Ok, I want you to know that as we start descending, this car is going to fill up with con-goers. We’re going to have to play it cool, ok?” I said as I entered the elevator and pushed the button for the second floor where the parking garage breezeway was located. Tom smiled and pulled me towards him as the doors shut. 

“No worries. I can act cool when I want to.” He smiled and slid on his sunglasses. I turned my back on him, his hand on my shoulder, as we rode down to the eleventh floor and the elevator stopped to let someone on. I took a deep breath and held it. Two young Sailor Moon cosplayers with their mother boarded and pushed the button for the lobby. I moved closer to Tom to allow for more room, and I felt his hand slide down to the small of my back and then rest on my hip. The girls were chattering to themselves quietly, and I looked up at him, widening my eyes at him. He nodded briefly at me, his lips puckered and suppressing a grin, as the car stopped at the eighth floor. I shifted to allow more room, and I stood right in front of him. He removed his hand from my hip to put both of his hands on my shoulders, his forefingers sliding slowly up and down the sides of my neck as a convention volunteer and two Fullmetal Alchemist cosplayers boarded. I inhaled as quietly as I could, again with my body responding to his touch. He was messing with me, he had to be. I pressed back firmly into him, nestling my behind directly against the tops of his thighs. I don't know what you are up to, but two can play at this game, Mr. Hiddleston. I heard him exhale, his breath sharp against the top of my head. He seemed surprised. I turned and looked up at him again; his eyes were wide and glittering down at me over the tops of his shades, and I mouthed, “Sorry,” and smiled apologetically. I wasn't sorry. 

The elevator stopped at the fourth floor and - oh crap, Avengers cosplayers...really? Agent Phil Coulson and Nick Fury boarded the elevator, and I could feel Tom’s body vibrate with excitement. I pushed back to get him to stop, my back end pressed tightly against him.

“Agent Coulson, Director Fury,” Tom said to the cosplayers in a calm American accent. I could feel him nod his head at them in acknowledgement. The two young men turned towards us in character and nodded as well. Their costumes were really good; it was impressive. I could have stomped on Tom’s foot. I could also feel my giggles beginning, and stifling them made it worse. I prayed; please let us get to the second floor without an incident...

The elevator arrived at the second floor of the hotel, and Tom and I shuffled towards the front through the other passengers, excusing ourselves. Everyone else stayed aboard for the last floor. Before the elevator doors closed, Tom stopped and turned around to face the Agent Coulson in the elevator. He raised his shades, and in his best Loki voice said, “Your heroes are scattered, your floating fortress falls from the sky, where is my disadvantage?” Realization dawned on all of our former passengers, and the excited screams and OH MY GOD’s were silenced as the doors shut on them. Tom turned to me with an excited laugh, grabbed my hand, and we took off running towards the doors to the parking garage breezeway. Tom yanked the door open, and we continued running across the breezeway, dodging attendees arriving at the hotel. He led me down the three flights of stairs to the street, cackling all the way. Once we got to the sidewalk, we started walking away from the hotel as nonchalantly as we could. I looked back to see if we were being chased down the street, but no one was coming, thankfully.

Tom pulled me close to him, his arm circling around my back and resting on my hip. He leaned his head on top of mine as he recovered from his laughing. “That was amazing! Did you see their faces? Oh, that was fantastic!”

I leaned into him, wrapping my own arm around his waist, catching my breath and recovering from my giggling and running down three flights of stairs. “Yes, I did! Oh lord, Tom, don't do that again. We’ll get mobbed!”

 

Tom squeezed me to him and then pulled away, taking my hand in his. “Nah, that was just a bit of fun, really; get them excited to see me later.” He winked. Cheeky... 

We walked to the intersection and made a left, heading towards downtown. I hadn't ever walked the streets here; I had only seen the architecture whiz by through a car window on the way to the airport or taking a guest off-site somewhere. The buildings were a mix of old and new, as was typical of a Midwest city. Tall modern glass and steel structures nestled next to beautiful renovated turn of the century buildings. This city was proud of their downtown and worked hard to maintain its beauty and heritage, as well as provide space for local and national businesses. It was a buzz of activity; lots of foot traffic for late morning on a Friday. 

Tom and I talked as we walked, all the while holding hands, or finding innocent ways to keep touching each other. He would either rest his arm on my shoulder as we walked, or if we were standing and looking into a shop window, he would wrap his arm around my waist and rest his chin on my shoulder. Or he would lace his fingers thru mine as he would point out something of interest in the distance, his thumb sliding gently along my palm. His mood had changed from this morning, and he was his regular cheerful self without the weird mopey mood swings. We had reached that level of comfort from the previous night, and the more time we spent together talking and walking on our secret adventure, I could feel the beginning of something more than friendship, at least for me. A look, a nod, or a clever comment and a wink was enough to make me think of something that I couldn't deny any longer. After we had our little come-to-god session last night, I was relieved and thankful he was so open and kind to me. But today, it felt different. If I didn't know any better, I’d say he was out-right flirting with me. And that was a dangerous thing to think about at the beginning of a weekend together, especially with my body on overdrive.

We walked around for about an hour, looking in antique shop windows and marveling at the sculptures and fountains on display. No one on the streets recognized us or gave us another thought as we passed. I was thankful for that. I had seen a lot of candid’s of him just out and about in the US, and when he was home in London, and I wanted him to feel free to see and do as he wished. Sometime after noon, we found a little Vietnamese restaurant tucked away in the ground floor of a turn of the century office building, and we stopped in for lunch, rather than going back to the hotel.

As we both drank our tea and slurped our pho, I came to an inevitable decision. I decided I should tell him about Julie. I wanted him to know about her so she wouldn't surprise him if there was a chance I wasn't around, and I knew in my heart she’d move heaven and earth to get into that green room tonight, even if it killed her. Some of the guests that Brian invited were good friends of hers, as good as you can be if you are an event handler, and if they knew she was on site, they’d make sure to get her an all-access pass so they could spend time with her all weekend. It aggravated me to no end that she would do something like that, but it’s who she was. And knowing all of this, I wanted Tom to know as much of the story as possible and then make his own conclusions.

“Tom, I have something to tell you,” I said seriously. 

He was in mid-slurp as he looked at me. “Child isn't mine; I barely touched you last night,” he said with a wink. 

An unexpected laugh bubbled out of me; he was insinuating more than what we were, and it gave me a tenuous thrill of hope that I shoved back into a box. I was weary of doing that, and my box was getting beat to all hell. “I’m serious; there is something you should know,” I said, sobering up a bit. He smiled and nodded, picking up his chopsticks to begin eating his noodles. I took a deep breath; this was going to be awkward and grim.

“You know I wasn’t supposed to be at this event this weekend, and someone else was supposed to be taking care of you?” Tom nodded, acknowledging what I was saying. He didn't talk with his mouth full, bless him. I continued, “Well, there is a reason for that. See, this other woman, Julie, who was to be your handler, she’s known on the convention circuit for her event handling. She works many of the shows in the area. She knows a lot of famous people, has a lot of connections, and it's considered a big deal having her work your show because of the contacts she has, and the potential to set up more the following year. Well, Brian had some reservations about her working this one in particular. It seems when she found out Brian wanted her to handle you, she asked for your personal information and wanted Brian to give it to her. When Brian refused, she backed out. Now, it’s for the best that she did, because this woman has a bad habit of “collecting” stars.” 

Tom was listening intently, his eyebrows rising at this last bit of information. He swallowed his mouthful of noodles. “Collecting? Like in little jars or...?”

I laughed. “No, she’s not...well, how do I put this so it makes sense and doesn’t sound completely asinine? When she works a show, she attaches herself to the actors, becomes their “friend”, bends over backwards to do anything for them, even more so than is probably appropriate, and then rubs it in the faces of the other handlers about how important she is. She’s overly proud of her “friends”, and almost bullies the promoters so they feel obligated to maintain a friendship with her just to have a successful event. She gathers “claims” on the stars...kind of a you-scratch-my-back-I’ll-scratch-your-back type of thing. Now, I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, mind you, but she was desperate to add you to her list, probably so she could move on from regional to national and possibly worldwide opportunities. I don’t know that for sure, but, it’s her usual modus operandi.” As I said it, I knew it sounded petty and ridiculous. I just wished it wasn't true. 

Tom looked at me, finishing his pho. “So she wanted my personal information? For what reason? That seems odd,” he asked. He laid his chopsticks on the edge of his bowl and flipped his spoon over, then poured more tea into his cup from the pot that sat on our table.

“Well, she told Brian she wanted to reach out to you and get to know you ahead of time so it wasn't awkward for you two when you arrived. But Brian didn't feel comfortable doing that; he doesn't release any of that information to handlers; he leaves that up to the actors. Handlers are to work the show, not become best friends with the talent before the convention.” I shrugged and finished my soup. 

Tom looked thoughtful, rolling his mug between his hands. He narrowed his eyes at me, the hint of a smile on his lips. “A bit awkward, like you and I, then?” He raised his right brow and took a sip of his tea. My mouth dropped open. Oh lord; we weren't going to cover all of that nonsense again, were we? Tom laughed and set his mug on the table. He reached under the table and wrapped his long fingers around my knee. “No, I know where you and I stand on that. Although, I confess I’m glad you and I have had more time to get to know each other today. And last night, well...you do have to admit, what happened was pretty remarkable.”

I closed my mouth, my teeth snapping shut, and set down my soup spoon. His thumb was drawing circles on the top of my knee, and the touch of his hand sent ripples straight up the inside of my thighs. I took a shaky breath and took up my tea cup. “Yes - that’s one way to look at it,” I said in between sips. “What made you think of that? Julie? As if there would be any awkwardness you two may have had if you hadn’t connected before your arrival? What, do you make a habit of doing what we did last night with all of your personal handlers to get to know them better?” I asked, knowing the answer. I felt slightly rude and fidgety, but that was my defense mechanism. I also knew I was rambling; I was nervous. What happened last night had never happened before; to him or to me. It was a rhetorical question and I knew it. The endless circles over and over on my knee made my insides quiver, and I could feel the now familiar hot slickness between my thighs. If he cleared the table and bent me over it and had me here and now, he’d have no trouble plunging inside of me. The thought made my cheeks blaze, and if he kept it up, we would have to clear the table and soon. I cleared my throat instead, waiting for his answer.

Tom leaned over the small table; the circles stopped and he slid his fingers deeper behind the crook of my knee, tugging me towards him. “No. You know I haven’t.” His eyes darkened and he looked very serious. His throat moved as he swallowed; I could see the muscles in his neck tense as he leaned even closer to me. Tom’s eyes held mine, his brows furrowing. He said nothing to me as he watched me silently. His breathing was slow and deliberate, as mine was beginning to speed up with the intensity of his look. And quick as thought, he blinked and looked away briefly before turning back to face me and leveling me with a less heated gaze. “Perhaps this isn't the right time to talk about this, but know that we will talk about it and soon.” 

I blinked at him. His intensity was palpable; I could almost feel an immense wave of heat roll off of him and over me. “I - I’m not sure I understand...” I stammered. My tongue felt like lead; I could feel my heart pounding slowly in my chest. 

Tom leaned back slowly, his hand sliding away from my knee, the absence of his touch cold and startling. He looked down and away and cleared his throat. I took a deep breath and leaned back in my chair, just as the waitress arrived with our check. I immediately dropped my professional mask into place and thanked her with a smile.

I stood up from the table, Tom not meeting my eyes as I got up, and walked to the register to pay for our lunches. What the hell just happened? We were having such a good time this afternoon and now, what? Oh, not the place to talk about it? Talk about what? Dammit...we were going to get to the bottom of this mysterious whatever the hell it was before this evening. We both had work to do, and there couldn't be any time for any emotional foolishness. Besides, last night resolved all the fangirl bullshit. Then again, my devil’s advocate popped up, it did open up a lot of other possibilities as well. I couldn't deny my physical attraction to him; it was going to be a challenge, but I could do it. On the other hand, he had made sure thru our little walk this afternoon to have his hands all over me in one way or the other. The combination of last night’s kiss, the heated looks from this morning, and now our little scene at lunch, I didn’t know what to think. Frustrated, I shoved all of this away. I can do this, I won’t touch him, I won’t jump on him and have my way with him, I can do this... I repeated this mantra to give me some sort of strength; I just hoped it worked. Tom joined me as I was signing the credit card slip, and we left the restaurant, full of soup and questions. 

Our walk back was quieter and slower; we still remarked on some of the city art and the architecture that we encountered, but our mood had chilled. It felt like the quiet hush before a storm, and I had no idea what kind of storm was about to hit.

We were a few blocks out from the hotel when I sent a text to Brian to let him know we needed someone from staff to meet us at the door next to the outside pool; we would need to have them take us up to our floor with the service elevator. There was no way in hell that I was going to chance waiting for a regular elevator with Tom in tow. It was Friday afternoon, and everyone and their mother would be checking into the hotel and then registering for the convention across the street. It was going to be a glorious celebration of nerd pandemonium, and I couldn’t take the chance of a potential mob scene. 

I found the sidewalk that took us to the outdoor pool area. A young hotel manager with a cheery smile was waiting. He walked us in the back way through the hotel office and to the service elevator. I could hear the buzz of the attendees talking and laughing, and an occasional yelp of excitement. The energy of the hotel had quadrupled since we left, and I felt the familiar thrum of the show. It was almost work time, and I was looking forward to it. Luckily, we weren't seen as we crossed from the hotel office to the service elevator, and as we were taken to our floor, I became more and more focused on what I needed to do next. I had to, despite what I was feeling. I checked the time on my phone; it was two thirty and I had three hours to get ready and get him over to the convention center. I didn’t see a nap in my future, but it didn't matter. Hearing the kids in the hotel energized me, and I was anxious for everything to get started.

The service elevator was at the end of our hallway, thankfully, so we didn't have to deal with getting checked by the security volunteers on our way in, or get hassled by attendees. We walked somberly to Tom’s door and I hesitated. Should I go in? Should I go back to my room? Did he want to talk now or could it wait until after we both got ready to go? Tom unlocked his hotel room door and motioned me inside; luckily he made the decision for both of us. When we got in, I did a quick assessment. The hotel had come in and refreshed the room, but the bowl of fruit and assorted snacks on the kitchen bar were the same. I checked the fridge and nothing had been replenished. I sighed deeply; I didn't want to make the call I needed to make. I turned to Tom and indicated I needed to make a phone call. He nodded and went up to the sleeping room upstairs. I went to my contacts and dialed Brian.

“Yes?!” Brian exclaimed, picking up my call on the sixth ring. 

“Brian, it’s Rebecca. Listen, I just wanted to let you know that we need Tom’s hospitality items in his room as soon as possible. I sent that text to you this morning and no one has come by to take care of it. Now if I need to do it, I can, but...”

“Dammit, are you kidding me?” Brian yelled in the phone. I could also hear that he had taken the phone away from his ear and was yelling at someone from across a large room. I waited. This was out of character and not how Brian’s crew ran things. All of Tom’s items should have been in his room within the hour that I had sent that text. With a crumpled shuffle of the phone, Brian came back on the line. “Hey, I have no idea what the hell happened, but I have someone running over right now to get everything. Give him about twenty minutes and he’ll have all of Tom’s stuff. The crowd is...holy crap, wait until you see it, Becca...I gotta go, love you...see you soon!” And the line went dead. 

I didn’t have to imagine what the crowd looked like; I could hear them in the background of Brian’s phone. He must have blown away his registration records, and I knew exactly why. The reason was looking at me over the balcony with a grim look on his face.

“Could you - will you come up and help me with something?” Tom asked. I could think of quite an impressive list of things I’d love to help him with, and after mentally yelling at my fangirl to go the corner and think about what she has done, I nodded and went up the stairs to his sleeping room. 

Tom had taken off his leather jacket and boots and was standing in front of his open closet with his hands on his hips. Even faced away, he was quite a sight. I indulged myself for a few nanoseconds before I made my presence known. “You rang?” I said. 

Tom turned on his heel and had the strangest look on his face. He looked thoughtful, pensive, and lost. What a strange combination for his face. It was adorable. “Yes, I’m struggling with what I should wear. I truly hate this. I just want to wear something comfortable, but I can’t - would you help me?” He asked. He looked pitiful. 

 

I nodded somberly and came towards his closet. He didn’t have much in there; a few sports coats and suit jackets, trousers, and his jeans. I recognized everything that was in there. He stood quite close to me and stared inside the closet with me, worrying his lower lip and mulling something over in his mind. I hid a smile. How fantastic! In all the times I had seen him in a photo and thought who the hell dressed you man!? I had the unique opportunity to dress him myself. I tried not to look too pleased with myself, and I went to work. I turned and gave him a quick once over.

“What is it?” Tom asked. 

I waved him away. “Don't worry, just trying to decide what to dress you in. Give me a moment.” I backed away and took a really good look at him. Ok Rebecca, let’s do this... Friday night was a casual affair, but I wanted to make sure he made a good impression. Give the crowd what they want; they will want the rockstar, and I wanted to make sure they got it. I gave him a thorough inspection and began walking around him. Can’t dress too nice; it will show he’s out of touch and possibly too full of himself, but also need to dress above them as well. He’s a famous star, for Pete’s sake. Tom watched me eyeballing him, his face less concerned than before. How wonderful, dressing a thirty something year old man. Ok, I think I've got it... I nodded and headed to his closet. I pulled together almost the exact outfit he wore to Comic Con in 2010. I laid out his newer black sports coat, white t-shirt, grey jeans, and his boots at the foot of his bed. “Will this be alright?” I asked. 

Tom had come up beside me with his hands on his hips again and smiled slowly. “I think this will be perfect, thank you.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and squeezed me to him. 

I needed to get a move on; I had showering and hair curling and makeupping to do. I leaned my head against his chest and patted his tummy. “I’ve got to get next door. I’ve got to get ready myself,” I said, smiling politely and moving away from his embrace. Tom held me a bit longer and then reluctantly let go. 

“I’ll come back when I’m all done; if you need anything, you know where I’ll be.” I turned to go when I felt Tom’s hand circle my wrist. He sure enjoyed stopping me from going places I needed to go. I turned to face him; my brows rose silently, inquiring what he needed. He just looked at me, a vast array of emotions played across his face; hope, indecision, sadness, and finally a wary resolution. 

“I hope you can forgive my subterfuge; I didn’t ask you up here to pick out my clothes. I asked you up here because I wanted to say something to you before you went back next door,” he said, his face surly again. Ah ha...the talk he wanted to have. Finally, perhaps we could get whatever had been plaguing him off his mind and resolved so we could move forward. I turned to face him and waited. Tom let go of my wrist and moved in front of me. He was quite close, and I had to incline my head quite a bit just to look up at him. He didn’t put a hand on me at all, but I could feel his warmth as he looked down at me.

“I just wanted you to know, after last night, after we...well... After you went back to your room, I lay in bed thinking about you...about everything. My thoughts were racing so much; I didn't think my body could relax for sleep. After we spoke last night, getting to know you better, learning who you are, I thought we were at the beginning of an exciting new friendship. You shared some sad and wonderful things about yourself, and I thank you for that. However, as much as I wanted to focus on my new friendship with you, I felt my mind returning to our earlier engagement in the evening.” Tom spoke quietly, just above a whisper. He never took his eyes away from mine, even when I wanted to look away. “I’m not going to deny how it made me feel. I spent most of last night and this morning doing that. I weighed all the variables about how inappropriate it was, and how you and I had just met, and that I was acting foolish. I’m a grown man and I’m not going to doubt how I feel anymore. I’m not going to deny that part of me was flattered finding out how you felt about me last night, and I was thankful I was able to help you get past that and see me for who I really am. But I can’t - I can’t forget how you felt in my arms and how you tasted on my lips. My god, I tried to forget, to just let that go, but I couldn’t. And I can’t - and I don’t want to.” 

I watched him give this awkward speech, all the while my errant butterflies had decided now would be a great time to start up a Quidditch game in my belly. There was no way in the world this was happening; my grown up sensibilities were having a screaming match with my fangirl, and I felt very much on the sidelines, hearing this war in my head. What was this? What do I do? What was he saying to me exactly? Was I really this clueless that I couldn't figure this out? I knew how I felt, but was it possible he felt the same? There was no way he could; we had only known each other for less than twenty four hours! But, he was a human being, as we had established late last night with startling effect. On one hand, perhaps that was the point. Something innocent with the purest of intentions had been taken farther than we had wanted it to, and neither of us was sorry it had escalated. We just didn't know what to do next. I knew what I wanted to do next, I just didn't know if he was struggling with the same thing. Then again, perhaps we should just stop overanalyzing the hell out of whatever this was and just go with it. And, as Tom has famously said, he didn’t feel guilty about pleasure.

With a sudden moan of frustration and determination from Tom, my back was up against the wall, his lips devouring mine. This was not unexpected, and I felt my inner fangirl explode with joy. His hands were on the sides of my face, his strong fingers pressing into the flesh of my cheeks as my arms wrapped around his waist to hold on. I could feel the wall behind me digging painfully into my shoulder blades as he pushed up against me, and I didn't care. I wanted him, and thank god I finally knew he wanted me. I could feel his arousal begin to push painfully into my thigh and I moaned into his mouth with this revelation. His tongue slid deep into my open mouth and I dug my fingers into his hips, pulling him closer to me, feeling the rush of lust that he had stoked in me over the last twenty four hours, hell the last year and a half. His lips broke from mine and trailed to my neck, his teeth nipping the flesh along my shoulder blade. I gasped, my knee raising and wrapping my leg around his, pulling him even closer. Dear god, he was going to have me if I didn't have him first... I reached frantically up under his shirt; his skin was smooth and warm and exactly how I imagined touching him. I ran my shaking fingers along his waistband and back up the flesh of his back, scratching his skin as I slid my hands up to his shoulders. He threw his head back, and he groaned, almost laughing. Tom looked down at me, his eyes half lidded and deep blue with desire. He tightened his grip on the sides of my face, bringing his forehead to mine. Heated memories from the night before came bounding back and I gasped again, feeling the fire in my belly burn hotter than I could ever imagine. Christ, if he just breathed on my skin, I think I would come.

“I’m going to have you, by god...do you want me?” he asked, his eyes searching mine. The sheer absurdity of this question from him to me made me speechless. Did I want him? Holy shit, really? I nodded, unable to speak, my breath coming in short pants, my eyes never moving from his as my hands slid from under his t-shirt and began to shakily unbutton his famous red plaid shirt. And with a moan of triumph, his lips claimed mine again. He slid his hands down the sides of my body and rucked up my t-shirt, exposing my belly and one of my favorite black lacy bras. I laughed maniacally in my head; sometimes it paid off being prepared for an intimate moment. I could feel his lips on the mound of my breast, his teeth grazing and nipping at my sensitive flesh. I threw my head back against the wall and thrust my hips towards him, my body melding with his. Tom was about to yank my shirt off over my head when he suddenly stopped.

A very loud knock filtered through my senses and I immediately ceased moving. Tom opened his eyes and we both looked at each other, our shared gasps choking into silence. Another pound pound pound at the door and I knew I had to go answer it. Tom blinked at me and took a shaky breath, reluctantly moving away as I disentangled myself from his limbs. It had to be the volunteer with the water and everything else I had asked Brian to send up. Dammit... I smoothed my hair and adjusted everything back to its original state as I ran down the stairs and to the door, my legs trembling. I made it to the door in a rush, taking a deep and shaky breath and opened the door. I was going to scream.


	9. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter IX

Standing in the doorway, pretty as a picture and smelling of toxic high-end perfume, was Julie. Behind her stood a volunteer, burdened with a case of water and one of her reusable organic totes she loved to use at events. Really? Did she really do this? NOW!? I wanted to punch her. It was almost like she had Spidey-sense or something. Instead, I recovered quickly and pulled on the most professional smile that I could. I just hoped the strained look on my face didn't give me away.

“Hey, hon! I was wondering if you were even here. We’ve been knocking on the door for a few minutes. How have you been?!” Julie exclaimed, pulling me into a squishy hug. Clouds of her perfume enveloped me, and I held my breath as she held me. I squeezed her back and pulled away as quickly as I could. I was still recovering from my arousal, and from Tom; I didn’t want her to suspect anything. Hopefully she would think my flushed face was my excitement at seeing her.

“I’ve been great! How have you been? I haven't seen you since July in Iowa. What brings you up here?” I asked as nonchalantly as I could, my voice wavering a bit. I wanted to slap her smug little dimpled face; we both knew what she was doing and why. This polite conversation had another unspoken conversation thinly veiled beneath it.

“Oh, Brian asked me to come work it, but something came up and I had to cancel...but wouldn't you know it, my other plans fell through this morning, so here I am!” Julie said, but what she really meant was, I was actually throwing a big baby fit because Brian wouldn't let me get my way, so I thought I’d come screw things up and get what I wanted anyway.

I nodded, my hand still on the door, blocking her entrance. I felt bad for the skinny little volunteer, wearing neko ears and belled collar, holding the case of water; it had to be getting heavy, along with one of her totes on his arm. Poor guy... “Well, that’s awesome. Have you checked in with Brian yet?” I said, of course really meaning, You and I both know you haven't told Brian dick, and you just let yourself in after texting some actor and got a freaking pass.

Julie threw her head back and laughed, the natural red waves of her bob flying madly around her face. “Oh no, not yet. I know how busy he is right now...I’ll just catch up with him at opening ceremonies.” And you and I both know I haven’t talked to him, and I don't plan to go out of my way to tell him anything; he can just deal with me being here.

I laughed with her as politely as I could without sounding condescending. “So, what do you have here? Looks like you are making a delivery.” You freaking found out where this poor kid was going and you came along for the ride, you despicable woman. You are NOT coming in here, no matter what you think.

Julie’s green eyes lit up and she clasped her hands together dramatically. “Well, I was on my way back downstairs. I came up with Edward to the green room...” she said, whispering behind her hand like it was some huge scandal. “He wanted a drink before heading across the street, so I tagged along. Anyway, I saw this young man carrying all of this through the halls, so I thought I would help him. Are you going to let us in?” She asked sweetly. 

I gritted my teeth and blinked to keep my cool. I wished I could shove her out of the way and let the poor volunteer enter, but I couldn't. If I did, it wouldn't go down well. And I was going to play nice this weekend, despite how I felt about the woman. “Sure, you can put everything in the kitchen,” I said finally, moving out of the way and allowing them entrance. The volunteer nodded his thanks as Julie breezed past me and into the main area of the suite. I stood in the open doorway, holding onto the door, waiting. Julie snooped around a bit, taking stock and state of the room. What a fool; it wasn't like she hadn’t been in one of these suites before, for Pete’s sake. She was looking for any trace of Tom she could find. Luckily, there was none, save his laptop on the coffee table. She turned a conspiratorial smile on me while running a finger along the back of the couch. “Where is he?” She asked in a small, excited whisper. 

I stayed in the open doorway and crossed my arms across my chest, waiting for them to leave. I wanted to stand my ground and let that message be loud and clear. You are unwanted and unnecessary, and please leave soon, for fuck’s sake... I put a finger to my lips and whispered, “Sleeping,” and pointed above our heads. Julie’s eyes lit up like fireworks as she glanced up at the balcony of the suite. I suppressed a pleased grin; I knew it was killing her that she couldn't tear ass up those stairs and try to work her magic on him. The volunteer finished loading the fridge with the water bottles and restocking all the snacks that were in the bag. 

Julie kept looking up at the balcony, and I watched her squirm. Her window was closing fast and she knew it. I moved away from the door, making room for the volunteer to leave. Julie looked at me, a flash of indignation lighting her eyes before quickly dismissing it. “Well, tell him I said hi for me, will you, hon?” Julie said, walking after the volunteer and across the threshold. 

I resisted the urge to slam the door in her face, but I just smiled and nodded instead. “I will, and thank you for bringing his supplies. I’ll see you later?” I said, and shut the door before she could answer. I turned and leaned against the door, trying not to pound on it in frustration. Horrible... I had to let Brian know what she did and soon. But Brian would have to wait. I had unfinished business upstairs, and I had to break it to Tom that that, too, needed to wait. It was getting on to three and we were running out of time. And if he really wanted me, I wanted it to be unrushed. My god, was I really having this conversation with myself? The slickness between my thighs and the memory of his teeth on my neck was still vivid, and I wanted to roll in a ball and laugh hysterically. 

I started back towards the stairs when I saw Tom coming down cautiously. “Are they still here?” he asked.

“No, they are gone. They were restocking your fridge,” I said, walking to the foot of the stairs. 

He walked the rest of the way down and stood in front of me, taking my hand in his. “You and I have unfinished business, my darling,” he said, bringing my hand to his lips and kissing my palm. 

I flushed with desire and tamped it back down; we both had a job to do, and this would have to wait. “I know, but we can't... We’re running out of time. We both need to get ready and get you over -” He interrupted me with a finger to my lips. I closed my eyes briefly; I knew that he shared my thoughts on this. He was a professional; he knew we needed to do what we both came here for.

“I know, believe me, I know. You go get ready and we’ll go be rock stars. However, I do hope you understand, we are not done, you and I, not by a long shot,” Tom said, his eyes burning into mine. I wasn't sure how I would be able to function, but I nodded and smiled weakly. He kissed my hand once more and shooed me towards our shared door. I went back to my room reluctantly, wishing for a second time in the last five minutes that I could scream in frustration.

I took a cold shower, but didn't wash my hair, so it took less time. I was going to curl it as much as I could so I looked as pretty as possible. I washed my face and re-applied my makeup. I wanted to look as beautiful as I could for Tom. It was girly and silly, but I didn't care. He made me feel beautiful, and made me want to look my best for him. After I was done with all the make-up and fussing around with my hair, I got dressed in the outfit I had laid out the night before. I slipped into my strappy black heeled sandals and stood up, giving myself a once over in the mirror. I looked really great, if I did think so myself. Being in lust will do that to a person. I grinned at myself in the mirror. I fluffed out the loose curls, and they fell around my shoulders over my black sports jacket. I had taken a man's sports coat and tailored it to fit closer and more flattering around my waist. I paired it with my black leggings that narrowed through the leg so they hugged my thighs and calves. The silk of the grey ruched blouse whispered over my skin and felt amazing. All I needed was my badge, my bag, and my rock star, and I was ready to go. 

I walked back into Tom’s suite, and he was sitting on the couch; his ankle was propped on one knee, and he was waiting for me. He looked up at me; his eyes lit up and he smiled. “You look amazing. You ready to go?” he said, standing up. I nodded and grabbed my messenger bag. I walked over to the fridge and grabbed two water bottles and put them in my bag. Now I was ready to go.

“Ok, I’ve sent a text to Brian. We will be going back down the service elevator and down into the lobby. I’ve planned a route to get us through the lobby, and out the side so we can cross the street and go in the back entrance of the convention center. Luckily, most everyone will be in the main event's room, waiting for opening ceremonies, so we won't have too much trouble getting over there. Once we get over there, we’ll go backstage and wait for the announcer to go through a few things, and when he announces you, then you’re on. Are you ready?” I asked. He had walked over to me as I spoke, and he stood directly in front of me again. My very cold shower had failed miserably at helping me get a grip, and being in his presence again just made it worse.

“Absolutely,” he said, smiling down at me. He reached out and curled a lock of my hair around his fingers. He released my hair and then dragged his hand lazily down my arm, and finally taking and squeezing my hand. 

I took a deep shaky breath, nodded, and inclined my head towards the hotel room door. “Ok, let’s go.” 

We left his room and walked back down the hall to where the door to the service elevator was located. We were met with a pretty blonde hotel manager who let us in and took us down to the first floor. It was quiet; everyone was at the convention center already. At the double doors on the side of the hotel, two large security volunteers waited for us. They opened the doors for us, and then led us across the street and back down the delivery entrance to the convention center. I could feel my nerves starting to build; I was excited to get opening ceremonies over with so we could get back to his room and finish what we had started. I walked behind Tom, making sure he could see me if he needed me. It was hard not to walk next to him and hold his hand, since we had all day. But I couldn't let anyone see that, no way. I would be damned if I was the cause of rumor and speculation in regards to Tom and his reputation. I had seen the blow ups on Tumblr whenever he was seen with any female, and I would do my damnedest not to feed into that frenzy.

We walked in through the delivery entrance, down a hall, and found the service elevator that took us up to the backstage area of the convention center. The security guards made sure we got on the elevator, and as the doors closed, it was just the two of us. Tom’s hands were folded in front of him, and he looked distant. 

“Nervous?” I asked, looking over at him with a smile. 

He broke his reverie and turned to me. “A little, but not bad. Going on stage makes me a little nervous at first, but once I’m out there, I’ll be fine.” 

I nodded. “You’re going to be great. I can't wait to hear them scream for you when you hit that stage.” 

Tom smirked and chuckled quietly, the elevator reaching our final destination. He leaned towards me, his lips brushing my ear softly. “And I can't wait to hear you scream for me later.” And with that, the elevator doors opened, and Tom stepped out in the hall outside the backstage area. I could feel my eyes widen in disbelief, and I had to recover quickly from that one. Holy shit...

We walked down the short hall, the noise level of the auditorium getting progressively louder as we approached. Two different security personnel were guarding the door to backstage, and with a flash of our badges, we were inside. I motioned Tom up the darkened ramp to the backstage area. The other actors and their handlers were mingling in the wings of the stage, and I could hear the music from the sound tech, who was playing retro house music mingled in with the screams from the crowd as their anticipation began to rise. The other actors were happy to see Tom, many coming forward and shaking his hand and clapping him on the back. I moved away in the shadows to allow this space with them. I was thrilled he had bonded with everyone in the short time he was in the green room last night; it was going to make opening ceremonies one to remember.

Brian showed up with two of his minions in tow and gathered the actors into a group to go through the lineup. They would do a greeting, the rules of the convention, talk about the charity, inform them of the main events happening in the convention center and in the hotel, and then finally introduce the guests. He also gave them the order in which he wanted everyone to come out on stage, with Tom being last. This elicited a playful groan from the other actors, some throwing mock fits and exclaiming they would be in their trailers at their supposed rude treatment, and Tom graciously played along, declaring them all dull creatures and beneath him, much to everyone’s amusement. 

As they were running through what they were going to do when on stage, I did a quick scan of the backstage area and the wings; no sign of Julie anywhere. She knew better, and I was glad she was lying low...for now. After we were done here, I needed to talk to Brian about it, but not now. He was focused on getting his show started.

After their rundown, Tom came to me and took the waiting water bottle I had in my hand. He winked, taking it and standing next to me to watch the preparations for the show. “Right, after this, what’s on my agenda?” Tom murmured close to my ear. 

I leaned up on tiptoe towards him and said, “Dinner; either in the restaurant or your room, and then nothing until ten in the morning tomorrow.” 

He took a swig from his bottle and screwed the lid back on the top. “Good, I think I’ll make an early night of it then. Need my beauty rest,” he said, his eyes widening suggestively. Tom handed his bottle to me and walked back over to join the other actors, introducing himself to a few he hadn’t met the night previous. He was doing his best at being nonchalant about all of this, and I stood in the shadows, my insides performing amazing acrobatic feats. In all the hours I had watched his performances and scrolled through photos, I hadn’t wanted him more than I did at this moment. And I was only hours away. I was slick and ready and part of me felt embarrassed. The other part didn’t give a shit.

The lights dimmed once and then twice, indicating the beginning of the show, and the screams of anticipation from the audience drowned out the techno music. I smiled, trying to contain an excited giggle; the energy the house was generating was overwhelming. Brian was right; he had exceeded his registration goal. Made me wonder if he had to turn anyone away...

I watched Tom as he chatted and laughed with the other actors. They were in a proper huddle, talking and making quite a bit of noise. He looked like he was having a great time; jeez, that man loved to talk. The pretty voice actress from last night was hanging on Tom once more, her hand folded in his as they stood close together. My breath caught sharply and unexpectedly; I looked away. I had completely forgotten about her. No, I wasn't going to feel jealous; this was show business and nothing more. Besides, I had a date with him later, and I knew that. He had made sure I knew that. I wasn’t going to let any of my petty feelings get in the way of that. I took a drink of my own water bottle and waited for the house lights to dim for good.

The lights went off finally and the strobes and spotlights began. The convention music began with a furious thump thump thump and the PowerPoint presentation projected onto the back wall of the stage. The crowd was in a frenzy as the music got quiet, and the emcee bolted on stage to begin the presentation. He thanked everyone for coming, went over the rules of the convention, and brought Brian up on stage for applause, and then he went over the charity information. After Brian exited the stage, it was time for the actors to line up. I moved to the front of the wings next to the sound tech so I could watch as they were each introduced, and to see the crowd’s reaction. With each introduction, the audience laughed and clapped and got louder. I could see Tom getting ready to go on stage, and he looked over at me. I nodded and gave him a thumbs up. He smiled quietly.

“I don’t think our next actor needs much of an introduction from me...” the emcee said, and the crowd erupted. Tom threw his head back and laughed, his tongue peeking through his teeth. I bit my lip, trying to hide the goofy smile on my face. This was the moment I had waited for. And if Brian hadn’t asked me to come work for him, if I had known Tom was appearing at this convention, I would be one of those nameless faces in the crowd, screaming my head off and waiting for him to hit the stage. Instead, I was back here, watching from the wings, and later...well. Like he said, perhaps I’d scream my head off for him then. “Let’s see, I think he’s been in a few little movies; some independent films like Thor, and as everyone’s favorite villain in the Avengers, please give him a warm SF-Con welcome, for the first time on our stage...TOM HIDDLESTON!!!” 

I held my breath as a surge of excitement rushed through me when he passed by me and waved and smiled at the crowd. There was a blinding barrage of flashes from phones and cameras, and a constant roll of screaming and clapping. I giggled, thinking I’d go deaf from such a reception. God, they loved him; this was wonderful, and he deserved every second of this. He stopped midway across the stage and stopped, waving more and laughing, taking a formal bow. This whipped everyone in the audience into a fever pitch. He continued to center stage where the other actors, and the emcee, were standing and waiting for him. The other actors were jumping up and down and clapping, some on their knees bowing in worship. This made Tom laugh even more as he came over to the announcer.

Tom was gracious and polite through his introduction; the crowd even quieted down for a few seconds for him to respond to the emcee asking a few questions. He was his usual polite and humble self, except, of course, when he performed part of his Stuttgart Loki line in the most sincere and polite way, causing half the auditorium to heave in hysterics. All I could think of was, I know that feel, bro. The remainder of opening ceremonies went by in a very loud blur, and when the actors came off stage, I had Tom’s water bottle waiting for him.

Tom took a long drink, a huge smile plastered to his face. I was so excited for him; it was one thing to walk onto a stage at a huge convention and get that kind of reception, another when you were at an intimate event and receiving that much love and adoration from an audience. He must have been buzzing from their reception. 

The emcee had a few more things to cover, and we needed to get out of this building and across the street as quick as we could. And if the crowd reaction was any indication of what could happen, I didn’t want him accosted on the way back to the hotel. I maneuvered myself behind Tom, who was chatting with the young voice actress, who was leaning into him and whispering.

“Tom? We need to get going,” I said, nodding towards two security guards who were waiting at the top of the backstage ramp. He turned, acknowledged me, and we followed the guards with the little actress in tow. This was unexpected; she had a death grip on his hand and they were walking fast behind the two guards. I kept up the best I could, keeping an eye out behind us to make sure we weren't being followed. I wasn't sure how to feel about this new development; I shoved this bitter thought aside for the time being as we went through the hall and over to the service elevator with a handful of the other actors. 

We went down in the elevator and made it across the street to the hotel without incident. As we walked down the hall towards the lobby, Tom and the actress turned towards the hotel restaurant. Wait, this was not part of the plan... I followed the steps up to the restaurant, and as they came to a stop, I tugged on Tom’s jacket sleeve. Tom turned around, seeing me, and briefly let go of the actress, motioning me over away from them. I didn't know if I should have been shocked or confused, especially since he had shared with me earlier that he wanted to get to his room as soon as possible.

“Steph said some of the others are having dinner in one of the private rooms down here and she invited me to join them. I’m going to have dinner down here, alright?” Tom informed me. His eyes were smooth as glass and betrayed nothing as he looked at me for confirmation. It wasn’t a question; just a matter-of-fact statement. No invitation to join him; no inclination that I was wanted. 

I nodded, ever the professional. “Of - of course! Have fun; if you need me, you know how to reach me.” I looked at him, my smile strained, and I hoped he could read my mind through the look I was giving him. Every doubt, every dark moment of my low self-esteem bullied their way forward into my heart, and I wanted to cry. What was this afternoon? Was it just a lie? Dammit, I thought I knew him. At least take the man at face value; he said he wanted me. I swallowed and kept smiling. Tom nodded, his face a blank sheet, and turned away from me to join Stephanie. Of course, Stephanie Hale. I knew her; she was an up and coming voice actress from London that had only been in the business for about eighteen months. She was the daughter of a famous stage actress, and it was known that her mother didn’t approve of her pursuing an acting career instead of school. It was her sophomore turn at the convention circuit, and I finally recognized her from an event I worked last year in Missouri. She was a sweet girl and completely enamored with Tom. Who could blame her? Tom wrapped his arm around Stephanie’s waist as he joined her again; she leaned into him with her hand on his chest. He looked down at her with one of his heartbreaking smiles and squeezed her to him. I turned on my heel and walked to the elevators alone.


	10. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter X

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 17 – Bon Iver – Holocene http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWcyIpul8OE  
> 18 – DaRude – Sandstorm http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9Bbu_prxJk  
> 19 – N-Trance – Set You Free (Rob Searle Remix) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPKi_iF0LI4  
> 20 – Orbital – Halcyon On and On http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bV-hSgL1R74

I rode up to my floor in a wounded daze. I chastised myself severely for even thinking that anything could or would happen between us. I felt so naive; I should have known better. I got to my room and slammed my door hard for the second time at this event, pulling off my badge, my bag, and my jacket, and throwing them all on the floor. I was angry and hurt over what? That he hadn’t declared his undying love and chased me up to his room and made mad passionate love to me? Well, he certainly sold it like he was going to! I could feel the frustrated tears prick at the back of my eyes. I took a deep breath to try and calm the hell down. My inner grown up came forward, smug and uninvited, and began running thru all the reasons why I shouldn’t be so angry. You are not his wife, you are not his girlfriend, and you are not his lover. You are nothing. You are a lowly volunteer at a sci/fi convention in the middle of the United States. In forty eight hours, you will be forgotten. In forty eight hours, you will be on your way home; back to your miserable job and your sorry apartment and your pathetic reality, living only on the internet. Alone. You don't even know him, not who he really is. You’ve seen a few movies and looked at a few photos. What is your problem?! He is a complete stranger to you and you know it! He owes you nothing. All of these hard and fast facts swirled in my mind like some sick mantra, and the reality of the truth consumed me. I crumpled to the floor in front of my bed and sat, my knees folded under me, staring angrily at the new hotel carpet.

I calmed down long enough to pick up the phone and order room service. I couldn't bear to go down and eat in the restaurant alone, especially knowing Tom was holed up in a private room with the other actors, having a grand old time, and I wasn’t allowed entrance. And I was no company for Brian, even if he could make time to dine with me. I decided to eat dinner in my room and make sure I was available for Tom when, and if, he needed me in whatever capacity he needed me in. I was going to sit in this room, try not to be pissed off and hurt, and do my fucking job.

Room service arrived with my depressing chicken Caesar salad and cheesecake for dessert. I ate without tasting much while I scrolled through Facebook and double checked his schedule for the umpteenth time for Saturday. I also completed the breakfast order for the morning. I included a meal for myself, but I didn’t know if I would even be invited for breakfast with him in the morning, or if someone else would be there to enjoy it. I ignored the aching pit in my stomach as I placed the order, thinking about not sharing this meal with him, and being quickly and easily replaced with a tiny beautiful starlet. But it did matter, and it needed to not matter. He was going to be very busy tomorrow; I hoped whatever plans he did have this evening, he would make an early night of it. I held no hope that he would come up here for me, and frankly, I didn’t know if I wanted him to. I was a fan, true, and the thought of having sex with him was intoxicating. But I wasn’t going to be the equivalent of a dick in a jar. I was not some loose groupie that would give it up for something meaningless and hollow. My self-esteem wasn’t so low that I would jump at a snap of his fingers, especially after brushing me off for the tiny and perfect Stephanie. If he wanted to spend his time with her, fine. I just couldn’t allow myself to be alone with him anymore. I couldn’t do that to myself. He was beautiful and charming, and I needed to stay professional. Our stolen afternoon had blindly convinced me that this was the beginning of some lush fairy tale, and that Tom had magically fallen in love with me in one day. Wrong. All he wanted was to get into my pants and, by god, he almost succeeded. I may be some ardent fan, but dammit, I would at least keep some shred of my integrity. At least that’s what I kept telling myself.

It was coming on to eight pm and I had to make the decision to change out of my clothes or stay in them. I wanted to strip off my handler outfit, jump into my oversized UNICEF Wendy shirt, and crawl into my bed, but I knew as soon as I did, I’d get a text or a phone call. I decided I would just stay dressed, sans heels and jacket, until ten. He had until then to inquire after any of my services, and past that he’d just have to put up with me being in my Avengers jammies. I put in my ear buds to my MP3 player and began playing my promised Bon Iver. I wasn’t in the mood for TV or my computer. I lay on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I was matrixing shapes out of the popcorn ceiling texture when I could feel the old familiar choke of misery, despair, and utter loneliness slam through my protective walls. It was so sudden, and as I slowly closed my eyes, two very large fat tears rolled down the sides of my face. Of course I was jealous; of course I wished I was down having dinner with Tom. I had gotten so used to having him all to myself that I felt selfish and proprietary, and I was mortally ashamed of these feelings I was having. I had allowed myself to get carried away in some unfulfilled moment, and I had lied to myself that I was something special and unique. And that my idol, my Tom, who had chosen me above all others to be his secret companion for this weekend adventure; it was all a laughable lie. I was just some volunteer who got caught in the glittery trap of the razzle dazzle, something I had never done with any celebrity. And being who he was, it was a death knoll from the beginning, and I didn’t even know it. The truth is, you never really know someone based on the face they choose to show you, and the faces I had seen with him over the last twenty four hours matched so closely to the ones I had fallen in love with over the past year and a half. I thought they were one and the same. And I had forgotten the most important fact. Tom was an actor, and a damned good one, and I had fallen prey to his charm. Perhaps the rumors of his dalliances were true. Perhaps Tom was a cad and a heartbreaker that some had made him out to be. A gentleman rogue with a self-deprecating attitude, actually hiding his detachment and lack of empathy for the lonely fangirl. A devil with an angel’s smile...damn him. Love is love, but business was always business, and for once in my career, I had mixed the two, to my complete dismay. I didn’t know if I was angrier at him, or myself. Frustrated, I decided I wasn’t going to get wrapped up in this and I wasn’t going to think about it anymore. I rolled over and stared at the wall until my eyes burned and I had to close them.

It was sometime later that I opened my eyes to a fervent buzzing in my hands; I had fallen asleep holding my phone. I rolled over to see who was trying to get a hold of me. My lock screen said ten forty five. Damn, I had fallen asleep for over two hours and hadn't noticed. Luckily, I had only one text and it was from Tom, “Come dance with me, beautiful. ;)”.

I bolted upright on my bed, pulling out my ear buds, and re-read the text, stunned. Come dance with him? Oh shit, where was he? 

“Where are you?” I responded. I hit send and hopped off the bed and rushed into the bathroom. I checked my appearance; my makeup had only smudged a little and was completely repairable. I brushed a little powder on my nose and ran a brush thru my hair, anxiously awaiting his response. There were only two places I could think of that he could be dancing; he was either in the hotel bar with the other voice actors - or he was at the convention center at the Friday night rave for the attendees. I suddenly felt panicked and very angry at myself, yet again this evening. For someone who was so bloody fantastic at her job, I was really screwing the pooch for this event. My phone buzzed with Tom’s response, “Rave on, my darling...bring your dance shoes and come find me... :D”. I grit my teeth and squeezed my eyes shut tight. He was in the convention center by himself with hundreds of attendees, and he wanted me to come find him. If Brian found out about this, he was going to fire me and then strangle the life out of me for this one, I could feel it.

I slipped on my heels, as I muttered extremely un-ladylike language under my breath, shoved my phone and room key in my jacket pocket, and headed out the door and across the street. I decided not to use the service entrance; I wasn't with anyone that warranted it. I made my way hurriedly across the street and up the front steps of the convention center two at a time, dodging rowdy cosplayers and scene kids, and entered the building. I could feel the boom boom boom of the bass thrum thru the soles of my feet on the concrete floor as I walked closer to the main event's room. I knew the Friday night DJ, and he was known for his bass heavy mixes. I just prayed that Tom hadn’t been accosted.

I walked into the backstage area, flashing my badge and making my way across the stage to the DJ. He was someone I knew from the old Goth scene back in the day, and he had graduated up from spinning Cruxshadows and The Cure on Thursday nights at a hole in the wall bar to playing many of the larger conventions in the Midwest. I walked up to the table where his decks were and waited. He was in the middle of mixing his next set and I didn’t want to bother him. I decided to look over the crowd to see if I could spot Tom. It was going to be near impossible. The main event's room was transformed into a good and proper rave, and the only lights were pulsing flashes of bright neon and laser strobes as intricate colored patterns formed over the crowd. The bodies of the attendees undulated up and down while they danced in a tightly packed sea of humanity; there was no way I was going to find him in the middle of all of that.

I felt a tug on my elbow and DJ Bitterm00n, aka Jeremy, was grinning at me, his headphones half on and half off his balding head. He was very good looking back in the day; tall and thin, a fragile, pale, gothic beauty with hair dyed black number one, but the club scene and time had crept in, and he now resembled a slightly out of shape burnout. I smiled and gave him a friendly hug. We couldn't talk much, so we pantomimed our conversation. “How have you been, how is your latest girlfriend? Oh, I’ve been fine; can you help me locate someone?” I rolled my eyes at this last comment to indicate my frustration and showed him a photo of Tom on my phone. It wasn't hard; I had a gallery dedicated to the man. That nugget of knowledge disturbed me for every reason I could think of, further fuelling my frustration, and I pulled up the photo that resembled what he was wearing tonight. Luckily, I had a shot of him from Comicon three years ago; the hair was a bit different, though. I showed Jeremy the photo on my phone, and he threw his head back and laughed. “Lose the rock star, did you?” He indicated with his hands. I wanted to throttle someone, mainly myself. He beckoned towards me and pointed into the crowd. All I could see were a colorful variety of neko kids, cosplayers, and scene boys and girls with glow stick’s, wearing colorful crin falls with flashes of bright lights and exposed skin. WAIT. I looked on stage right of the pulsing dance floor to a tight group of people that didn't look like typical attendees. Jumping up and down, and dancing and yelling, were a small group of the rowdiest voice actors at the event. And the leader of this little mob was none other than my errant lost prince. I hugged Jeremy back, thanking him for helping me, and made my way across to stage right and down the steps to the dance floor. I wasn't going to march over in a storm cloud of authority, although I very much wanted to. Tom did invite me to come and dance with him, but as I got closer the little group, I noticed Stephanie was still with him. This stung yet again, and all the words I wanted to yell at him were swallowed as I made my way over to the chairs lining the wall. I was going to sit and keep an eye on him, and I wasn't going to let him know I was here. And I didn’t want to join him just yet, if I would be joining him at all. I was here to do a job, not come and party with the talent. I thought of all the horrible things that had gone through my head back in my room, and I gathered them up and shoved them away. I couldn't think about my selfish feelings right now; it was work time. 

Jeremy was mixing old school tonight and as I sat down, I heard the unmistakable lead in beats of “Sandstorm”, and I covered my mouth to hide a reluctant smile. Ah, bless Jeremy, he was showing his age now. And I wasn’t going to think about how old I was when I danced to this particular gem when I went to my first convention rave. I heard a sudden shout of recognition and excitement coming from the little voice actor group, and I recognized that spirited yelp; Tom recognized the song as well. Ha ha, showing your age as well, young Tom... Watching his joyous romp without a care in the world was bittersweet. I wished that I felt that I could join him, but my self-inflicted misery kept me planted firmly in my chair.

Suddenly my phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out to see if it was Tom, “Where are you? I want to dance with youuuuu...” I laughed involuntarily at this. I peeked through some of the dancers on the edge of the crowd and saw that Tom was dancing near Stephanie. If he thought of making a Tom sandwich with Stephanie and me, he had another thing coming. Besides, I was still sore from being replaced. I wasn’t in the best of moods. I decided not to respond to his text and opted instead to watch him and his little adopted group. As the music continued, and as I watched him dance, it occurred to me that he wasn’t really dancing with any one person. Looking a little closer, Stephanie was dancing near him, but not dancing with him. She had chosen one of the young male voice actors that I didn’t know very well. That was an interesting development... I watched the two of them; they were dancing very close, arms loosely wrapped around each other, and undulating suggestively against the other. She wasn’t paying attention to Tom; she only had eyes for her current partner. I worried my lower lip as I felt a tiny flicker of hope and relief as I watched Tom move by himself on the dance floor. Cripes, Mr. Clark Gregg was right, that boy could dance. The command he had over his body was truly amazing. I took a deep breath and blew it out quickly, my piss poor attitude was fading fast as I watched him. I wanted very much to join him, but I also didn't know if I should ask him about his on-again off-again behavior with Stephanie. It really wasn't any of my business, and right now was not the place for it, but if he wanted to do any business with me, I felt it was partly my business. 

Jeremy was in rare form spinning tonight. He was mixing in some great old rave favorites with some new. As the last song began to ebb and then blend seamlessly into the next, I thought I could hear the unmistakable piano and vocals of “Set You Free”. It was a remix, updating it to today’s sound, but it was unmistakably the same tune. I unexpectedly erupted with laughter. Oh lord, there was no way Jeremy had any idea about this song. The last time I heard this was in Unrelated, and I was pretty sure Jeremy hadn’t seen that film. I also knew it had been one of Tom’s songs of the day a while back, and I shook my head at my outlandish stalker habit. I couldn’t help myself; hearing this was ridiculous, and I wanted to join Tom. I got up and pulled off my jacket and my heels. I grabbed my phone and hotel key and maneuvered my way over to where Tom was jumping up and down, his fist in the air, and yelling his head off. Somehow in the last few hours, he had lost his jacket, and the white t-shirt he wore clung to his body, getting soaked with sweat. I had to admit, I was glad to be near him again, damn him... I tugged on the tail of his shirt and he turned to me, his face lighting up with an excited smile. I held up my phone and room key, and he took them both, sliding them into his jeans pockets. 

“Did you request this song?” Tom yelled happily in my ear. I just shrugged my shoulders, indicating I had no idea what he was talking about, and he grabbed my hands, giving me some serious side eye. I felt a little nervous dancing with him out in the open like this; I didn’t know if anyone was watching or not. I looked around as covertly as possible, but out here on the fringes of the dance floor, away from the rave kids, no one was really paying much attention to us. It was a sea of rhythm and color and euphoria, and as I moved in Tom’s arms, I was thankful for every dance lesson I ever took in high school and beyond. He was a blur of movement, mixing in swing moves with some samba and a bit of salsa. I was able to keep up with him and his face glowed in the wash of neon lights with unabashed pleasure. I wondered how long it had been since he went out dancing with a woman for fun.

I recognized “Halcyon On and On” dropping into the mix, and I was grateful for slowing down a bit. I loved this song; I wondered if Jeremy had just dropped in one of his old mixes from 1997 and went to the bathroom or was chatting up a girl. Tom’s reaction was glorious; he seemed to recognize all the old tunes, and he looked like he was having the time of his life. Thankfully, he slowed us down into smooth and precise swing moves, matching the rhythm of the song. He brought me into a closed position, his warm hand on my lower back, bringing our hips in close and putting my hand on his shoulder. I could feel the heat pulsing from him as his body met mine and it took my breath away as he smiled roguishly down at me. 

Tom leaned towards me, his breath hot on my ear. “You didn't tell me last night you could dance, my dear,” he said, pulling away with an approving grin on his face. He spun me out in a double spin and pulled me back in. Our bodies moved in sync with the music, my hips moving against his as he brought me in close with his hand pressing into my lower back again. He was hot and moist, and I prayed I didn’t slip out of his grip. With the heat he was generating, as he pushed against me, our bodies moving as one to the rhythm of the music, I could feel the hostility towards myself slowly ebb, and be quickly replaced with a flood of desire.

“You didn’t ask. And besides, a girl can have a few tricks up her sleeve, ya know!” I answered, yelling to be heard. Tom was an excellent lead; I could tell what he wanted with just a subtle shift of his hand. It was a joy being able to dance with someone who knew exactly what they were doing. And I was thankful I could keep up, but it had been a while, and I could feel my breath dive deep into parts of my lungs that hadn’t felt air in a long time. I was also thirsty as hell. I wanted to wait until the end of the song; I didn’t want this moment to end. I forgot about all of the stupid jealous thoughts I had earlier. He had spun them right out of my head onto the dance floor, and I let the music flow over me as he moved his body very close to mine. The dance floor was warm and steamy from all the attendees jumping and dancing, the colors flowing over us in time with the music, his beautiful sweaty face smiling down at me. Moving with him like this in public after so many hours of being careful, being able to touch each other again; my heart forgave him.

The song then mixed into a Rick Astley/Skrillex mash-up, much to the delight of the younger crowd, and I knew I was done. I needed water and I needed it now. Tom thankfully had the same idea, and he followed me off the dance floor, his forearms resting on my shoulders, as we went to sit in the chairs lined along the wall. My chest was heaving with our exertions, and I was happy I had slept a few hours; I didn’t know if I could have kept up with the man if I hadn’t.

“I’m going to get some water. I’ll be right back!” I said as loudly as I could up at Tom. He was glistening with sweat, his breath coming in deep heaves as well. Lord only knew how long he had been on that dance floor before I showed up. He nodded, his face split permanently with his glorious smile. He sat down next to where I had my things stashed, and I went back up on stage behind Jeremy and over to the stage left wings. I knew there was a constantly stocked cooler with water bottles that was maintained throughout the weekend, so I dug around, grabbing two, and made my way back down to the floor to Tom. I was surprised no one was coming to bother him, and I was pleased the attendees were all behaving themselves. Tom took one of the proffered bottles and proceeded to empty it in a few short gulps. I sat next to him and drank deep from my own.

“I only brought these two. Did you need another one?” I asked after taking his empty from him. He shook his head and ran his fingers through his drenched curls.

“No, I am thinking of heading back to the room, though. I’ve been out there quite a bit tonight. What took you so long?” He asked, leaning in towards me so he could hear me. Tom looked at me with his famous puppy dog face; his right eyebrow slightly raised and his eyes were dark blue and creased with worry. Ungh…no. I had to turn away from him. He still got to me whenever he laid those blue green eyes on me, and I had to shake an admonishing finger at my inner fangirl to calm the hell down. His question also threw a bucket of ice water on how I felt as I recalled my selfish pity party up in my room while he dined with the other actors. The bitter taste of my absurd jealousy was fresh on my tongue, so I took a drink to buy me more time. I didn’t want to tell him the truth; not now. I would have to find a way to tell him later in a way that didn’t sound so childish. I decided diversion was best, for now, and my fangirl just needed to shut the hell up.

“We need to get back across the street,” I said, capping my water and grabbing my jacket and heels. Tom just watched me with a brief mix of confusion, and then finally relaxing into an accepting smile. He stood, his hand reaching out to help me up. I slipped into my heels and folded my hand into his. Ever the gentleman… His fingers were still very warm and moist from dancing, and his fingers laced casually thru mine, making my neck flush with longing. Once I was standing, I reluctantly slid my hand out of his, and he looked at me, confused once more. I stood on tiptoe and whispered in his ear, “I can’t be seen touching you, you know that. Dancing is one thing, but...” I pulled away, sorry I had said anything. I didn’t want to cause any unnecessary trouble for him, or myself. We had to be careful. There were eyes and camera phones everywhere.

Tom stood back, his eyes closing, and he nodded. I grabbed my jacket and indicated to him that he should follow me. I lead him up and over the stage to avoid the crowds. Jeremy saw us taking our leave and gave me two thumbs up as he danced to his current mix. 

We made it down and outside the convention center with minimal issue; a few rowdies yelled and waved at Tom as we walked across the street, and he yelled and waved back as I laughed unexpectedly at his loud and raucous response. And since the convention center was the place to be, we had no trouble taking the regular elevator up to our floor. Once we arrived, the sixteenth floor was buzzing with noise and activity. Exiting the elevator, I could hear the green room bursting with laughter and music. I paused a moment and turned to Tom, my brow raised in silent question.

Tom looked tempted for a moment, but shook his head, “No, I’m minging and I need a wash up. I’m in no state to be seen.” I nodded, and after a quick flash of badges for the volunteer sentries, we went down the hall to our rooms. I paused in front of my door, and Tom passed behind me and walked to his. Standing at each of our doors, an awkward hush fell over both of us as we looked quietly at each other. His face was pink and flushed from the exercise, and his eyes were dark. What now? I knew there was showering in his near future, but then what? Where did we stand exactly? As if knowing what was going through my mind, Tom took out his room key and opened his door.

“I’ll text you when I’ve finished, alright?” he said with a smile and entered his room. He put the emphasis on alright, and I knew he wanted to see me when he was finished. I sighed deeply, and for a moment, my doubts disappeared. I reached into my jacket pocket for my room key and felt nothing. A surge of alarm tore through me as I immediately reached into the other pocket and it was empty as well. I had no room key or phone. For a panicked moment, my mind raced to having to run across the street back to the main event's room to go on a quest in the dark when I remembered; Tom had them both. A relieved laugh bubbled out of me, and I immediately slapped my hand across my mouth to quiet it. Crap, I hoped he hadn’t gone up to his bathroom to start getting cleaned up. I went quickly to his door and knocked as loud as I could. Nothing. I knocked again, much louder than before, and kept my fingers crossed. The door opened slowly and Tom peeked out with a cheeky grin. “Yes, Madame?”

“I think you have my room key and my phone. May I have them?” I asked, smiling shyly despite myself. 

Tom shook his head. He leaned out of his door, his face a few inches from my own, and asked in a cautious whisper. “You can’t wait until I’ve had a proper wash up, can you?” My eyes widened, and then I laughed, my now familiar blush staining my cheeks. He leaned back into his room, opening the door wider and allowed me in. I walked in and over to the seating area. The black sports coat he had worn earlier was thrown over the back of the couch, and I was glad he hadn’t lost it in his excitement to head out dancing with his new friends. 

I turned to say, “I can wait, of course, that is -” when I was spun around by strong arms, lifted up, and placed on the back of the couch. Tom moved quickly between my parted knees, his hands sliding along the outsides of my thighs and around my hips to hold me steady, his lips on mine before I could finish my sentence. I squeaked in surprise, and then relaxed into his very welcome kiss, dammit. He hadn't forgotten me, and any remaining doubt I had about us was blown away with the tenderest kiss I had ever received from any man. It wasn’t rushed; it was slow and languid and quite thorough, just as I had imagined it would be yesterday in my imagination when we had first met. My god, that was just yesterday, wasn’t it? My arms snaked around his moist neck as I wrapped my legs around him, pulling him closer to me with my heeled feet. His shirt was damp and freezing, and he smelled wonderful; very sweaty and very male. My traitorous body responded as his tongue slid slowly against mine, and he ended our kiss with him nibbling on my lower lip. 

Tom pulled away and rest his forehead against mine, his breath coming in shallow gasps. “I missed you this evening. I wish you could have joined me for supper.” His voice was raspy and gorgeous, and I thought my heart would break when I heard him. Hearing Tom say this made everything ten times better. I said nothing, only nodding in agreement. His lips on mine again, after so much dismal time away from him, had rendered me speechless and dazed. He had me under his spell again… “I felt awful leaving you earlier, but when Steph invited me to join the others; I didn’t feel I could bring you with me. I didn't want to assume anything, and I also didn't want to slander your reputation. I wasn’t sure of how that would look; do you know what I mean? It was a private thing, and none of the other handlers were there. If I would have invited you, it would have looked...well, you know how it would have looked.” 

“I – I understand,” I said, feeling his body sigh with relief as he stood there holding me quietly. And I did understand. As much as I hated all of the secrecy and the hiding, I knew I couldn’t have gone with him, despite what I wanted. And now I knew he wanted me with him as well. The last sliver of doubt slid away clean, and all that was left was my desire for this man. And right now, I had a metric ton of it. He pulled away after a few moments, pulling me off the couch to stand in front of him. He had the sweetest smile on his face as he curled a lock of hair behind my ear, and I felt my insides quiver. 

“Off with you now. I need to go upstairs to take care of this,” he said, indicating the state of his shirt. “Please come back in about thirty minutes and I will be ready for you, alright?” Tom asked. I couldn't help the smile that erupted on my face as I nodded. He turned me towards our shared door, and I went into my room to do a little wash up myself. My god, was this really happening? I decided I wasn’t going to over analyze this; I couldn't. 

After the quickest shower possible, I was tearing through my drawers looking for something to wear. Hopefully, whatever I chose wouldn't be on me long, but what did one wear when meeting their celebrity crush for a tryst? I laughed dryly. I was having the most ridiculous conversation with myself; I couldn’t believe it. And if I would have known something like this was going to happen, I would have packed something black and silky, but as it was, I was faced with t-shirts and shorts and leggings. Resigned, I pulled out my white UNICEF Wendy shirt and a pair of black shorts; it was the best I could do under the circumstances. 

I pulled on my clothes, ran a brush through my hair, and checked the time. I still had five minutes. I went into the bathroom to make sure I looked decent. Fluffy bed hair, minimal makeup, and a light spritz of my body spray. I looked at myself in the mirror, and the reality of this moment hit me hard; my nerves erupted and I stood, blinking at my terrified reflection. But these weren't the nerves of yesterday. These were the nerves of a woman going to a man for their first intimate moment. I hadn’t been with many men, but this also wasn’t my first time. I hadn’t felt this scared in a long while, and I hoped and prayed that this night could attempt to meet every expectation that had been built in my mind and heart over the last year and a half. But, I couldn’t hold onto any expectations; they only caused disappointment in the end. I needed to keep an open mind about what was going to follow, and accept it as it happened. I took a deep breath, staring myself down in the mirror. You can do this, you will do this. I turned off all the lights, placed the Do Not Disturb placard on my door, and double locked it. With another deep shaky breath, I opened our adjoining door and went inside his room.


	11. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter XI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This entire part is pure unadulterated smut. I hope you can be gentle; this is the first scene of this type I’ve EVER written.

The suite was dark, save for a faint glow reflected on the ceiling from the sleeping room upstairs. I didn’t see him on the lower level, so I swallowed my nerves and made my way slowly up the steps. On the upper level, I saw the light shining from the bathroom, and I could see him standing in front of his bed. He was waiting. I could feel him watching me and I almost stopped walking. Tom smiled softly, his hand reaching towards me and inviting me to come to him. He was freshly showered; he had towel dried his hair and it fell in wild, wet strands around his face. And he was clad in only his towel. Dammit, it was Prince Hal all over again; and I almost lost my nerve. My hesitation must have shown on my face, because Tom smiled and beckoned at me with a fanning wiggle of his fingers.

“Come here,” He said softly, encouraging me to go to him. I swallowed, walking the few steps closer to him, and took his hand. He laced his fingers thru mine and proceeded to take the other one as well. He held our hands straight down to our sides, bringing our bodies very close to the other. I looked up, remarking to myself for the thirty seventh time at how amazingly tall he was. He was warm and exuding a fresh moist heat. There was nothing better in the world than a freshly showered male, and I was awkwardly standing in front of the only one that mattered to me. Tom looked down at me, his eyes glittering from blue to green to grey, and he took a quiet breath.

“Kiss me,” He said simply. I quelled the nerves bubbling inside of me and hesitated. This was it; this was going to happen and there was no going back from this point, at least for me. I moved closer to him, raising up on my tiptoes, and placed my lips gently on his. Up to this point every kiss we had shared he had stolen; willing given, of course, but he had taken nonetheless. This was my first kiss to him and I wanted it to be perfect. His lips were warm and soft, but not too soft. I heard a faint and quiet moan resonate thru his throat, and his fingers tightened around mine, drawing me closer so our bodies touched. My breasts crushed pleasantly against his chest as I teetered on my tiptoes. I had never had anyone respond to me kissing them before, and this was the encouragement I needed to be brave. I tentatively opened my mouth, drawing his lower lip between mine, my teeth gently nibbling. Tom sighed, his hands gripping my fingers even tighter. I could feel his body answer; it felt as if he was restraining himself. Goodness, was he just going to stand here and let me do as I wished? Another surge of empowerment flowed thru me and I deepened the kiss further, slanting my mouth over his and sliding my tongue thru our lips. His restraint broke and he let loose my hands and slid them around my waist, crushing my hips against his. I went suddenly flat footed and wrapped my arms around his neck to steady myself as he bent towards me, his breath warm in my mouth. I could feel our shared arousal, body parts hardening and softening between us as we melded and reciprocated with the other. I slid my fingers up the smooth skin of his neck, my fingers twining in his damp, hair and I tugged him closer towards me. 

Tom turned my back towards the bed, and I reached behind me cautiously and sat. I broke our kiss and began the awkward backwards crawl up the length of the mattress. He followed me on his hands and knees, his eyes never leaving mine. He had the most predatory gleam in his eyes; I almost stopped crawling, but I didn’t. When we had reached the head of the bed, my head sank into one of his pillows and I looked up at him. My arms wrapped around his neck, and he ran his fingertips across my forehead, moving strands of hair away from my eyes. He looked down at the length of me, and I suddenly felt very self conscious. I wished for a moment that the bathroom light was off so he wouldn't have to see me, but I knew it would be rude if I asked. I was of medium build, and nowhere near the expected size zero. I had curves in all the right places, but I was not the ideal Hollywood starlet size. 

Tom looked back up at me and ran his finger up the bridge of my nose and across my furrowed brow. I hadn't even noticed I was making a face; he looked concerned. “What's wrong? You aren't having second thoughts, are you?” he asked. Tom looked amazingly adorable when he was worried and I shook my head.

“No, no - no second thoughts. Just - worrying about things that don’t matter,” I said. I felt dopey as soon as I said it. I shouldn’t be concerned with how he will think of seeing me wearing nothing. He was obviously attracted to me, and I was being a senseless girl about it. 

“Oh! If you’re worried about contraception, I’ve got that covered,” he said, very matter of factly. I laughed unexpectedly, surprised at his comment, and squeezed him towards me. My god, I hadn’t even thought about that, but thankfully he wanted to play safe. I was on the pill to regulate myself, so birth control hadn’t even crossed my mind.

“No, that’s not what I was thinking, I -” I stopped, did I really want to discuss this right now? No, I decided, let’s play the “I’m-not-pretty-why-are-you-with-me game” afterwards. I didn’t want to ruin this. Not for me, or him. “Thank you, that was very thoughtful of you to take care of that,” I said finally, and smiled. 

Tom’s face broke into a relaxed smile. “Good. Now, where were we?” he said, kissing my forehead, then the tip of my nose, and then finally my lips. He lingered, his tongue peeking thru his lips and tasting me. I returned his kiss as he shifted to lay against me with his full length. The weight of him felt wonderful as he kissed me, his lips nibbling across my cheek and down my neck. Feeling his teeth on my skin brought my body to full attention, and I could feel my nipples harden between us. I could feel his hand, his fingers splayed and heavy on my neck and sliding slowly down between my breasts and to my waist. The flesh of my stomach jumped at his touch as his hand slipped under my shirt, and I felt his long fingers warm against my skin. My breath caught in my throat as his hand slid slowly back up to my breast, and the anticipation of his touch was unbearable. I opened my eyes and saw him staring down at me; his eyes were heavy lidded with desire as he bit his lower lip. He was watching me as his hand slipped closer and closer to its destination, and I thought I would scream from the waiting. Finally, his hand slowly slid over my breast, his thumb running over my hard nipple and his mouth hungrily claimed mine. This was not the tender, sweet kiss we had shared earlier; this had become a driving need in both of us. His fingers pressed into the flesh of my breast, sliding and circling until I thought I couldn’t breathe.

Impatient, I tore my mouth away from his and leaned away, removing my shirt, my arms shaky, and then turned back to him. He folded me back under him, the flesh of our chests meeting. He was warm and smooth, and as I ran my hands along the flesh of his back, it was everything I had imagined it would be. As I shifted and settled back under him to his liking, he dipped his head low and took my nipple in his mouth and my breath caught in my throat. My back arched against him and my hands moved to grip his hair, holding him close to me. He bit and sucked at my breast, and I thought I would faint; my breath was coming in sharp, shallow gasps. My body undulated against his, indicating my need, and he ignored my wordless request, his warm tongue sliding slowly along my skin, his mouth quickly covering my other breast. My hands were tangled in his hair, my fingers gripping and holding his mouth on me. His tongue circled around my other nipple and he sucked the air in sharply, his lips covering my nipple, a cold rush of air swirled and made it pucker impossibly harder. I dug my heels into the sheets beneath me, my knees rising up around his hips. I was past ready and I wished he would cut out the foreplay and take me already. I slid my urgent hands from his hair and down his back to where his towel was still covering his hips. Sliding my fingers under the edge of the towel, I yanked it off him and tossed it to the floor, and Tom Hiddleston in all of his naked glory lay on top of me. He nipped the underside of my breast, his lips sucking hard and his teeth pulling on my skin before coming back up to kiss me, his tongue thrusting deep into my mouth and I moaned, digging my nails into the flesh of his hips. I could feel his erection, hot and hard as hell, against the inside of my thigh, and I struggled with wanting to jump up and tear off my shorts. Tom must have sensed my agitation as he slipped his hand lower between my thighs and on the outside of my shorts. I bit my lower lip, his fingers sliding over and over the top of the inside of my thigh, alternating with a whisper of a caress to sliding his fingers urgently under the fabric. He wasn't even touching anything important and I thought I would come at any moment. My breath was coming in short pants and I felt feverish, my body shaky with need. 

Tom looked down at me, his eyes dark and glittering. “So, are you ready for me?” he asked. I groaned, frustrated, and rolling my body against his, thrusting my hips against his deft fingers. If he couldn't tell I was ready, he wasn't paying much attention. I nodded, taking his lower lip in mine and biting down. His eyes shut, answering my moan and completing my kiss. Tom’s lips left mine and he moved away from me briefly; I took this opportunity to shed my shorts. He grabbed the condom that was on the nightstand and made good use of it. After he was finished, he slid back on top of me, my knees parting immediately. He positioned himself on top of me, his arms around my head, and he looked down at me. I could feel the tip of him rubbing against my clit and I could feel the beginning of my climax begin to wake and bloom. 

“Mmmm, someone is ready, I believe. But not quite yet, darling. I want to hear how much you want me.” Tom said, his voice low and smooth, and teasing me beyond reason. I narrowed my eyes at him, a determined moan ripping through my throat. I grabbed his hips to hold him still, my knees parting even wider as I could feel my release begin to build inside my belly, and I rolled my body against his, my hips thrusting forward and rubbing shamelessly against him. Tom threw his head back, and pumped his hips forward against me, rubbing his erection against me. He rest his head against my shoulder as I worked myself against him, and as I felt the start of my orgasm begin within me, I sank my teeth into his shoulder, biting and sucking on his soft flesh. I cried out, my head dropping back to my pillow, my body rolling and rocking under him, the spasms coursing thru me and all over him. As I felt the waves of my climax ebb, Tom thrust inside of me to the hilt and didn’t move. I could feel my body pulse around him as he filled me, and he looked up into my eyes, his forehead against mine. My breath was shaky and I trembled, but as he filled me, I could feel my body answer again quickly. Christ, if he moved, I was going to come again... I boldly wrapped my legs around his hips, pulling him deeper into me, and then finally, he moved. One tentative thrust, and then again, slowly stroking deep within me. I kept my eyes on him, and he kept his eyes on me as he moved inside me. My god, this was unreal. All those lonely fantasy filled nights spent alone with my thoughts of him in the darkness of my bedroom did not prepare me for this. 

I dug my nails into his ass, encouraging him to go faster, and he finally took my cue. Tom’s face was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in the throes of passion. His wonderfully expressive face; I thought I would die from the beauty of it. He alternated from biting his lower lip, to squeezing his eyes shut tight. I could tell he was getting close, and thankfully, I was as well. I thrust against him as he plunged inside me and our bodies slammed against one another, a frenzied primal act both working the other to our end. And with a marked, “Oh - OH GOD!!” he began to come deep inside of me as I started my second climax. My second orgasm was fast and hard, and the intensity of it left me breathless and shaking, immediate tears squeezing from my eyes. Tom laid his head on my shoulder after he was finished, his breath coming in deep hot, gasps against my neck. I moved my hands up his back slowly and cradled his head, my chest heaving for air. I unhooked my feet from around his hips and slid them down the length of his thighs. I left them looped around his legs as we lay there, coming back down to earth. I couldn't stop the tears from coming, I felt ridiculous, and I had no idea why I was crying. Our lovemaking wasn’t anything short of amazing for how simple and short it was. I felt all the tension from the last twenty four hours drain out of me as I held him to my breast. I ran my fingers thru his hair, feeling shy and exposed and very tender. If I was planning on not falling in love with Tom at this very second, I was failing miserably. 

Tom pulled himself up off my chest, leaning on his arms, and kissing me very sweetly on the lips. I closed my eyes as he kissed me, two more fat tears squeezing out and rolling down the sides of my face. Oh god, I hoped he didn’t see them...

“Thirsty?” He asked, his voice deep and raspy. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. I nodded silently and smiled. He made motion to move, but I reached out and grabbed his hips, holding him inside of me. Oh no, I didn't want him to leave me, not yet. I wanted to keep him inside of me for as long as I could. Who knew if I would get another opportunity? Tom gave me a throaty laugh and kissed the tip of my nose. “I’m only going downstairs for water, I’ll be back, I promise.” I closed my eyes and nodded. I slid my hands up his hips and over his back, up over my head, away from him, and lay there, willing myself to keep my hands off him. I could feel him pull away from me, the sudden chill of the room hitting my skin. I rolled from side to side and pulled at the covers, yanking them up and over me. I could feel Tom stand up from the bed and I clutched his sheets up to my chin. He went downstairs in all his naked glory to retrieve our water and I watched him walk away from the bed, giving me a cheeky grin as he left, and the realization of what just happened hitting me like a ton of bricks. I stuffed some of the duvet into my mouth and allowed myself to scream in elation. Every daydream, every wild fantasy was blown to smithereens as those memories dissolved and were replaced with the reality of the past half hour; I was glowing with happiness.

Tom walked back to the bed and plopped next to me, handing me a bottle. I sat up, shoving a pillow behind my back, and opened the water bottle and drank. I kept the sheets wrapped around me as Tom sprawled unabashed next to me with one leg dangling over the side of the bed. My god, he was a gorgeous, lanky creature; all strong limbs and lean muscle. My heart fluttered as I sneaked looks at him in the dim light.

Tom finished his water and placed the empty bottle on the nightstand, turning to me and asking me silently with a raised brow if I was done. I handed my half finished bottle to him to place next to his empty. He turned to me then, his head propped up with his arm, and he smiled sheepishly at me. 

“Well, that was too quick for my taste, I hope you didn’t mind,” Tom said, reaching out to me, his fingers trailing softly down my arm. His touch sent goose bumps to all the right places. I laughed.

“No, no. It was...amazing,” I said breathlessly. I smiled and closed my eyes; I didn’t want him to know just how amazing it was and how much it meant to me. That was a conversation I didn’t want to have, not now. There was sex and there was love, and I didn’t dare to think this was anything other than sex. Again, I had to remind myself we didn’t know each other that well and there was nothing wrong with what had just happened. We were both adults, and we both wanted each other, and I refused to let my feelings ruin this. I couldn’t.

“Amazing? Well...if you thought that was amazing, darling, I have a lot more to show you,” Tom said, a terribly wicked gleam in his eyes, his fingers moving slowly over the skin above my breasts. His touch shot straight down thru my belly, and I felt myself get very warm and wet once more. “However, the hour is late and we should get some rest. As you keep telling me, I’m going to have a busy day tomorrow.” 

I bit my lower lip and nodded, I knew this was the truth, and our needs would have to wait. Tom pulled away from me and walked to the bathroom to shut off the light. For a moment, I saw his naked body haloed by the yellow light. He looked like the god I thought he was. Beautiful, elegant, and virile as hell. He came back to the bed, and slipped between the sheets, and pulled me to him. He lay on his back and cradled me on his chest. I fit perfectly against him; his skin was warm and I placed my hand over his heart. Dear god, give me the sanity to rest thru this night...

We both fell into sleep, but in the darkness of the night, at an unknown hour, I woke, feeling hands running over my behind and sleepy, urgent fingers slip inside the wet cleft between my legs. Wordlessly, I lifted my chin and met his lips in a quiet kiss, his tongue thrusting inside my mouth, igniting the fire in my belly once more. Silently, he rolled on top of me, slipping inside, and we had sex once more, without speaking. He held my hands down to my sides, pulling them straight down, and keeping me from touching him. I wrapped my legs around his hips and we moved silently against one another. It was quiet and wordless, save a few breathless gasps and carnal moans, and when he had finished us both off, he slipped out of me, pulling me close, and we fell back asleep.


	12. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter XII

I woke with a start to an alarm I wasn't familiar with. For a moment I was disoriented and wasn't sure where I was. A sleepy masculine groan of annoyance brought me quickly back to reality. I hadn’t made it home last night. I turned over as the other occupant in the bed turned away as well, fumbling sleepily for the alarm on his phone to shut it off. The room was still dark, but I knew we had no time to dawdle this morning. Tom had a full day today, and breakfast was going to arrive soon. Shutting off the alarm, he put his phone back on the nightstand and curled around me, folding me into his arms with a sleepy moan. I nestled my backside against him as we spooned and sighed contentedly. We didn’t get much rest, but when we did, I slept deeper than I had in a very long time. Tom nuzzled my neck and sighed, settling back into sleep. As much as I wanted to stay here all day with him, I knew we couldn’t. I took his hand in mine and pulled.

 

“Hey, sleepy head, we have to get up,” I said, not very convincingly. He muttered something indecipherable into my hair and adjusted himself once more, pulling me in closer. I laughed quietly and kept tugging on his hand. “Tom, we have to get up. You have a big day today. Come on.” 

 

He squeezed me tightly, and with an aggravated moan, rolled away to lie on his back. I turned in unison with him, laying my head on his chest, and draping my arm around his waist. My misty recollection recalled that I had spent most of my night in this position, and I smiled to myself at the dreamy memory. Tom curled his arms around me as we lay there quietly, trying our best to wake the hell up so we could get on with the day. 

 

“Do you think they would notice if I didn’t make an appearance today? And I just stayed up here, with you?” He asked in a sleepy voice. I grinned, my insides melting, pleased his thoughts echoed my own, and I leaned up on my arm to look down at him. Sleep had not yet let go of him, and his face was soft - so pretty first thing in the morning; if a man could be considered pretty, that is. And I thought Tom would qualify, in spades.

 

“I think they’d notice, my good sir.” I laughed, leaning down and placing a shy kiss on the side of his neck. He grumbled and pulled me back down with him and held me. We were never getting out of this bed unless I did something drastic. I decided to be the grown-up, and after a few stolen moments, I reluctantly slid away from him and out of the covers. I sat on my edge of the bed, taking a deep breath and stretching the kinks out of my back. In the darkness of the room, I looked around on the floor for my clothes. I had no idea where they had ended up, and in the state I was in last night, it was hard to tell where they may have landed. As I leaned over, thinking I saw my black shorts in a nondescript puddle at the end of the bed on the floor, I felt a warm and languid hand slide down the length of my back. My eyes fell closed and I inhaled sharply, my flesh remembering every touch from the night before. I shivered and bit my lower lip; the swiftness of my physical response was immediate, and I really needed to get up and out of this bed or I’d never leave it. I felt the mattress shift under me as Tom sat up and scooted behind me, his knees resting on either side of my hips and his arms wrapping around me. My head fell back to rest on his shoulder, his unshaven cheek rasping pleasantly against mine. 

 

“Are you absolutely sure?” He said, nuzzling my neck and making gooseflesh prick my skin all the way down to my toes. Oh, it was tempting. All I had to do was text Brian, tell him Tom and I had food poisoning or some other highly contagious and mysterious illness, and not to disturb either of us, or something like that, but I knew that wouldn’t fly. Brian would burst in on us and drag us to his stage, clothed or not. I returned with a nuzzle of my own to his cheek and patted the arm that was wrapped around my shoulders. “Yes, I am sure.” 

 

Resigned, Tom sighed and nodded. He squeezed my shoulders one last time and then left the bed from his own side. He went to use the bathroom as I groped around in the dark for my shorts and t-shirt. I checked the time on the clock next to the bed; seven forty. His breakfast would be here in twenty minutes and I wanted to make sure someone was available to open the door. I knocked on his bathroom door, informed him I was going back to my room for a shower, and told him I would be back in fifteen minutes.

 

I went back to my room for my morning ablutions and found my thoughts wandering back to the previous evening. I couldn’t believe what had happened; I was still in a bit of shock. And with the way he acted towards me this morning, with the snuggling and cuddling and wanting to stay in bed with me all day, what did that mean? Did it mean anything? Was there an “us”? Well, there was an “us” for the weekend, that much I knew, or I at least hoped. And did I deign to think there would be anything after this? I couldn’t think about that; I wouldn’t think that far ahead. Again, he was a famous star and I was a volunteer handler. He lived in London and I lived in the US. After the convention was over, whatever this thing was would be over, too. Parts of me were shattered; yearning for the fangirl dream of being swept away by him and having him take me away from my mundane existence. But the other part of me knew there was no way in hell that would happen, and to enjoy the time we did have together, and come to terms with the fact there would be an eventual end to this unreal weekend. And maybe he would stay in touch as a friend, text me once in awhile, see how I was doing. Or perhaps I would send him a message, and he would actually respond and remember the strange woman from that little convention he did a few years back. Or there would be nothing. I would have to be alright with that. I couldn't ask for anything more. I would have to take what I could get.

 

I towel dried my hair and dressed in my Wendy shirt again and a pair of jeans; I wanted to make sure I was in his room to let breakfast in on time. I pulled my damp hair into a loose wet braid and went back to Tom’s room. He wasn't downstairs yet, so I sat on the couch and checked my phone for messages. There was only one and it was Brian from late last night, “Call me as soon as you get up in the morning.” This was strange; I hoped nothing was wrong. Cautiously on guard, I dialed Brian’s number.

“Hey Becca, how goes it this morning?” Brian answered his phone immediately. He must have been expecting my call, which was odd and a bit unnerving.

 

“Fine. I’m waiting on Tom’s breakfast to be delivered. Is everything alright?” I asked. I was worried something was really wrong; normally I was pretty autonomous in my job, and Brian only reached out when there was a change in the schedule, or if it was something that had gone horribly wrong.

 

“No, not really. I mean, everything is fine. I’m just pissed off and I wanted to give you a heads up on this.” Brian sighed heavily, and I could hear the annoyance in his voice. I tried not to let my fear and suspicion filter what he had to say. “Julie cornered me last night in the green room and tried to talk me into firing you and having her handle Tom this weekend. I told her hell no, and she didn’t take it like a lady. She’s been a royal pain in my ass ever since she got here yesterday. Anyway, she’s still on site and she's taken it upon herself to handle Edward on her own. I don’t really care; they go way back before he was a big somebody. But, I wanted you to know; she’ll be here for the weekend and may be a problem for you.” I stared up at Tom’s ceiling. I sighed, squeezing my eyes shut tight. I didn’t hate Julie. I just hated what she did and how she acted. Her lack of self-esteem drove her to extreme lengths of gaining self-importance that she would go to the most asinine lengths to insure her position in this community. And now that she had been denied Mr. Hiddleston, she had become incensed and taken it upon herself to force her way into the event anyway, and would work on him in her own time. I chose not to tell Brian about her performance yesterday afternoon. I didn’t want to add fuel to the fire. 

 

“Thank you, Brian, I appreciate you letting me know,” I said finally. There wasn’t much else I could say. I knew how this game was played. Brian couldn’t ask her to leave; there was too much at stake. The event would have to endure her presence for the time being. I looked up at the balcony and worriedly chewed on my lower lip. I wasn’t sure what her plans were for Tom; she was capable of being really devious. But, based on our previous night's entertainment, I was pretty sure Julie couldn’t touch Tom. If cornered, he would be sweet and polite, but nothing more, hopefully.

 

“Listen, I pulled Krista and Lauren from your signing team this afternoon. I know they are sweet girls and wanted to work with Tom, but I don't want Julie to bully them. They’d believe anything she told them. I’ve got Simon and Nick working Tom’s table. You know them, they’ve been around awhile, and they won't let her get too close. Is that ok?” Brian asked. 

 

I could hear the background noise change to windy traffic on his phone; he must have headed over across the street. “Yeah, that would be great. Thank you for that.” Suddenly, a polite knock on the door heralded the arrival of breakfast. I said my goodbye’s to Brian and went to the door. I peeked through the peephole first, verified it was, in fact, room service, and let him in with our meal. 

 

I set the table as I had the morning before, my mind on Julie. I didn’t want to think about her, but I couldn't help it. I shouldn't have let it bother me, but it did. It wasn't like she was out to steal a boyfriend or a husband or anything, but her motivations frustrated me. I didn’t want Tom exposed to her bullshit. He was too important of a person to have to deal with that, and I hoped that he wouldn’t have to. As I poured my coffee from the large carafe, I felt smooth cool hands slide along my hips and circle my waist, and a chin resting on my shoulder. I leaned back into Tom as I set the carafe and the mug down, my cheek against his. He was freshly showered and shaved and smelled amazing, yet again. His hair was still a bit damp, his curls slick and unruly.

 

“I see breakfast is ready,” Tom said, his voice was low and husky, his teeth grazing my earlobe. His breath was warm and it sent shivers down my spine as his teeth left and his lips placed a gentle kiss on my ear.

 

“Yes, and we need to make quick work of it. I still need to get ready and get you over there by fifteen til.” I felt agitated and off kilter; I didn’t want to feel this way right now, not with his hands sliding up and down my hips, his lips on the base of my neck. He squeezed me briefly and then went to sit. I had ordered him a full English breakfast this morning, and he grinned at me as he sat down. 

 

“I see you were thinking ahead. Did you think I was going on a bender last night or something?” He winked at me and tore into his eggs. His brief reminder of the previous evening, and of his sterile abandonment of me for the beautiful Stephanie, hit me in the gut unexpectedly. I had ordered his breakfast last night thinking he would need his strength after a night of drinking and enjoying shockingly deviant things with the pretty young actress in the privacy of his suite. I shook my head, clearing it of that disturbing visual, and sat down to my own bland breakfast of a cheese omelet and toast.

 

“No, I had no idea what your plans were with Ms. Hale last night. And if I recall correctly, my presence wasn’t welcome, and at the time I made the order, I didn’t know what state you’d be in, or if I would’ve had to order two meals, or who they would be for,” I said sharply. I could have swallowed my tongue. I looked up at him and winced. This came out of me too harsh, and completely out of left field; I didn’t mean to say it like that. It sounded bitchy and catty, and I wished I could immediately take it back. Thinking about Julie this morning, and now a swift reminder of his previous evening’s dinner plans with Stephanie Hale, touched a sore spot I had been ignoring. 

 

Tom looked up at me slowly, his chewing ceased. He swallowed, his brows furrowing, and set down his fork. “I apologized for last night. I did want to spend the evening with you, but you knew Steph insisted and...”

 

“It’s alright,” I interrupted. I was embarrassed almost to the point of tears. I knew it wasn’t alright, and I struggled with being the bigger person versus my silly jealousy. Because it was jealousy, and I felt very foolish and disrespectful as all hell. I cut into my eggs and took a bite, not looking at him. If I looked at him, I didn’t know what I’d do.

 

We ate in strained silence for a few moments until Tom suddenly asked, “Wait a minute - is this about Stephanie and me?” I wished I could take back what I said; I shouldn’t have allowed him to hear how I felt. I had absolutely no right to speak to him that way. My feelings weren’t a part of this equation, at least that was what I kept telling myself. Tom laughed. “Oh, my jealous darling...you thought perhaps there was something between Steph and myself last night, is that it?” 

 

My eyes darted to him and they widened; my attempt at hiding all this nonsense had been called out. I wished I could dissolve away into the carpet. Fabulous. I looked like an obsessive fangirl. Any tender morning-after breakfasting had been obliterated by my mouthy comment, and all because I had allowed Brian’s warning of Julie bother me; I had allowed all of my aggravation to crumble in on me. I swallowed thickly; my throat felt constricted with my embarrassment.

 

Tom was grinning at me now. He picked up his fork and continued to eat heartily. I didn’t know if I could continue with my eggs, so I looked away as I picked my toast apart into tiny pieces. I took small sips of my coffee, feeling absolutely rotten. I had no idea how I could even begin to apologize for this. It was uncalled for and childish, especially after the last forty eight hours. I looked like an obsessive fan losing her shit because he had chosen to spend his time with another woman that didn’t happen to be me. If I could have kicked myself, I would have.

 

“Stephanie’s mother, Anna, and I worked together at a summer workshop years ago. I know Stephanie through her mother. We are nothing more than friends. I've known her since she was a girl in school,” Tom explained, polishing off the rest of his breakfast and taking a long sip of his coffee. I felt dumb. I was acting like a jealous wife or girlfriend, and I had absolutely no right to be. I nodded, nothing I could say really without sounding ridiculous, and began choking down the rest of my breakfast. I was mortified and didn’t taste my food, and I thought bitterly that this was the second meal I had eaten without tasting, all because of my childish perceptions of Tom and his actions. And it was all my fault. Sometimes I hated my brain, and my heart. They did the dumbest shit sometimes. Tom sat back in his chair, watching me with a small smile and sipping at his coffee; he didn’t say a word.

 

After I finished eating, I got up and stacked my dishes onto the cart to wheel outside his door. I reached for his empty plate and he wrapped his warm fingers slowly around my wrist. I let go of the dish and closed my eyes. Wordlessly, he pulled me gently to him, sitting me on his lap and wrapping his arms around my waist. His face rest near my breast and I looked down at him. Good lord, he was adorable as he looked up at me; it made me feel worse, if that was even possible.

 

“You know, I think I understand. But truly, there is nothing to be jealous over, my envious darling. She’s a sweet girl and I’ve known her for a long time. She’s like a little sister to me, and she thinks of me the same. So truly, there is nothing to worry about. And, she isn't currently in this room right here right now, is she? And she wasn’t squirming underneath me last night, making the most delightful noises I’ve heard uttered from a woman in a very long time. And, she didn’t wake up in my arms this morning, did she?” He asked, and I felt terrible. I nodded and rest my head against his. I was glad he understood my foolishness, and mortified that we were having this conversation. I had no right. Any thoughts of Stephanie were packed quietly and shamefully away, and I settled this topic internally. I wouldn't bring it up again.

 

“I made delightful noises last night?” I asked, trying to forge our friendship once again and divert the negative attention that I had forced into our morning meal. I shifted and wiggled a bit on his lap; I could feel his body move under me, and I smiled as best I could. He slid his hand up my neck and placed it on my cheek, turning me to face him.

 

“Oh yes. And I intend to hear them many more times from you before this weekend is over,” he said, his lips very close to mine. He didn’t kiss me, just looked up at me with his beautiful blue eyes. “Now come, we have to get ready,” Tom said, a tiny smile playing at his lips, breaking his spell. 

 

I stayed put on his lap, leaning down and kissed him shyly, silently asking forgiveness for being an idiot. He tasted of rich black coffee and Tom, and I wished I could sit here with him in his arms for the remainder of the day, finding clever and wicked ways to apologize for my rudeness. But, we both had a job to do, and it was time. “I’m sorry I was being bitchy. It was uncalled for and I feel really rotten. I know I don’t have any right to –“ I said, and he interrupted me with a finger to my lips. 

 

He shook his head and grinned at me. “No worries, my darling. Forget it. Now, let’s get going, alright? Remember, rock stars?” Tom said, releasing me. I hopped off of him and finished clearing the table. Tom poured more coffee and started upstairs to finish dressing. I finished off the remainder of the carafe and wheeled out the cart. Taking my own full mug, I walked to my room to finish getting dressed. I took a deep breath and pushed away the negativity. I didn’t have time for girly bullshit this morning. It was work time.


	13. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter XIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally, the convention weekend truly begins. I’m hopeful no one gets bored with the descriptions of the event. But, there is some unexpected smut in this one, so enjoy!

I had less than an hour to get ready, so I decided I would just wear what I had on. I removed my braid and dried my hair, smoothing it back in a low side ponytail. Tonight was the big dinner with the stars, and I didn’t want to crease my hair for later. I pulled on my black knee-high riding boots and my black blazer, and applied minimal makeup. After gathering my messenger bag and phone, I stood at the foot of my unslept in bed and quietly panicked. I leaned over and began messing up the covers and pillows to make it look like I had slept here last night. I knew there was no reason to do this, other than my own guilt. I didn't want to take a chance of idle chatter from housekeeping guessing where I had slept last night. It was absurd, but I felt better leaving the messy bed.

I went back to Tom’s room after shutting the door between ours, and he was leaning against the back of the couch, looking at his phone. He had decided on his black leather jacket and grey t-shirt today. I smiled. I recognized this outfit yet again. Best dressed man indeed... I went and grabbed four water bottles from the fridge and slid them into my bag, along with two bananas, and waited for Tom to finish with his phone. 

 

I handed him his convention badge as he walked up to me. “Please keep this with you. They’ll kick you out if you don’t wear it,” I said jokingly. He clipped the badge to the front loop on his jeans and pulled me into his arms. The breath went out of me in a rush as I wrapped my arms around his waist. He leaned down and kissed me hard on the mouth. Thank god for lip stain...

“Right then, let’s go,” he said with a wink.

We left his room and made our way to the convention center. The other actors were all waiting in the wings with their respective handlers for the first morning panel. I could hear the buzz of chatter in the main event's room; it was going to be a packed house. Tom came up to me, and I wordlessly handed him one of his bananas. He took it and devoured it, talking with some of the other actors. The rowdier ones were in dark sunglasses; their large coffee cups each held in a death grip, nursing what I could only expect were monumental hangovers. I smiled to myself, knowing there would be much more of that later tonight after the guest dinner. I wondered if Tom and I would stay in his room tonight or head to the green room. I winced internally; I knew I had to get him to the green room tonight. Any alone time would have to wait, if there was going to be any alone time at all. I stopped that line of thinking and put it to the side. This was not a romantic weekend getaway. I had to keep my head in the game. But as I watched Tom laughing and joking with the other actors, it sure was hard not to let my mind wander to less than twelve hours ago when we had been rolling around in his bed. And his heady promise of my future noise making. I blushed.

 

The host of the panel showed up backstage and spoke with the actors briefly. Luckily, the convention had taken submitted questions over the last few weeks for the actors off of their forums that would allow all the actors to get some speaking time at the panel. Because Tom was doing this panel with the others, I was glad the convention had decided to do this. I didn’t want a replay of NY Comic Con and have all the questions for Tom only. He had his own panel this afternoon for all of that. I was thankful they scheduled an hour and a half for him; he was going to need it.

It was finally the top of the hour, and the host of the panel took the stage with a raucous cheer from the crowd. Tom turned to me and took his waiting water bottle. His wiggled his eyebrows at me, and with a wink, he was out with the rest of the actors for the panel. I decided to give myself twenty minutes to indulge in listening before I left to place his lunch order. He wasn’t eating until after the autograph session that directly followed the panel, but I wanted it to be ready for him. I sat on one of the sound tech’s large black equipment cases in the wings and watched. The other actors knew they were up against Tom’s wit and charm, so they had decided to bring their A-game. They spent most of the panel answering the questions in relation to Tom, or even pretending they were him, much to his delight and adorable embarrassment. He laughed and played along with them, taking on the personas of the others, and the audience ate it up. He was charming and funny, and it was amazing watching this live and not on YouTube in my depressing apartment. 

 

At about twenty five after, I left the backstage area and went out into the hall to place our lunch orders. As I hung up and returned to the wings, I saw that Julie had taken a seat in my spot on the equipment case. Dammit. I walked towards her, preparing myself for a lot of super polite small talk. Julie must have heard me coming; she turned to see me and her face lit up with the fakest smile on the planet. 

 

“Well, good morning, hon! How are you doing today?” she asked in a whisper, opening her arms for a hug. I obliged; her perfume was on overdrive today. Damn woman...

 

“I’m good, and you?” I replied in a whisper as well. She winked at me as if I would know why or something.

 

“Oh, it’s a good day to be me, as always. Had kind of a late night in the green room last night. Edward drank half a bottle of Glenlivet and we played DDR most of the night. You have no idea how exhausted and hung over I am!” she said, giggling quietly. I smiled and nodded, trying to look like I completely understood and gave a shit, which I didn’t. I wasn’t a big drinker and I didn’t drink while on the job...well, I didn’t normally drink on the job, and I only had a drink the night before last because Tom had insisted. And I was thankful that I did. I had the most amazing night two nights ago and I wouldn't ever forget it. It all lead up to this moment, having awakened this morning in the arms of the most beautiful man in my world. I smiled again, genuinely this time, for my own reasons.

 

“I can imagine. We got in pretty late last night ourselves. Tom came over to the rave last night and danced for a bit,” I said. There was another dance tonight, and I secretly hoped he wouldn’t find out about it. He should be in the green room tonight, solidifying contacts and pressing the flesh with the other celebrities.

 

Julie’s eyes widened in horror and disbelief. “He was here last night? And you let him stay and...dance with the attendees?! WHY did you let him do that?!” she hissed incredulously. Well, this was new. Julie had allowed her polished veneer to crack a bit. Goodness, was she judging me on how I did my job? Oh my, let’s not start this...

 

I shrugged. “He came over on his own after dinner with a handful of the others. He texted me to let me know, and I came over and kept an eye on him. Besides, he’s Tom Hiddleston, and he does what he wants. I’m his handler, not his mother.” I just looked at Julie. She had to know I was referring to how she handled her guests. Hovering and maneuvering her way into each minute and second of a star’s free time. And besides, why the hell did I need to explain myself to her about how I did my job? 

 

She quickly got her attitude back in check and smiled at me, nodding. “It sure seems that way. Wow, so did you two have a good time, then?” she asked. Her eyes narrowed slightly and her implication wasn’t lost on me. Ha ha...whatever. I wasn’t going to bite.

 

“I’m sure he did, but he called it a night soon after I arrived, and I escorted him back to his room. I would imagine he fell into bed shortly after that,” I said smugly. And I didn’t need to imagine much; I knew the reality. I was saying everything and nothing, and I didn’t let my face betray just exactly how true that statement was. Julie just watched me, almost as if she was searching my face for a tell. I gave her none.

 

“Well, tonight is going to be off the hook. I certainly hope you can get him to the green room tonight,” she said with a smile, and then turned away from me to listen to the rest of the panel. I had been dismissed by her and I wanted to laugh.

 

I listened to the rest of the panel, enjoying the remainder of it; despite having to share backstage time with Julie perched in my old seat. Tom was in rare form; he had decided to answer all of the questions directed to him as the other actors, and it delighted the audience and the other talent. Before the panel had finished, I had been joined by Nick and Simon, who had retrieved Tom’s boxes of photos for his autographs. He was signing his own photos for a small fee, all monies being split between the convention charity and his own UNICEF charity, but would sign anything anyone would bring to him at no cost. The boys put the boxes down next to me and watched the rest of the panel, flanking me on either side. I had worked with them before; they were very sweet and they liked me, and had no particular love for Julie.

 

The audience erupted with applause as the panel ended, and the actors got up and took their bows. Tom came off stage last, his face beaming; he had had a good time. Julie perked up, watching him make his way past her and directly over to me. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened slowly, almost as if she was about to devour him. Watching her shift into her predatory stance unnerved me, and I kept her in the corner of my eye, just in case. I handed him a fresh water bottle and he took it, unscrewing the top and taking a long drink. Julie jumped off her equipment case and walked over to us, adjusting her low cut blouse and running her fingers through her hair. Uh oh...show time.

 

“Well, hello there, Mr. Hiddleston. I’m Julie. It’s so good to finally meet you!” Julie remarked behind Tom. Her voice lilted in what I could only describe as a high pitched squeaky purr, it was horrible. My eyes widened at him, indicating that yes, it was that Julie, and he gave me an acknowledging wink before turning around to face the inevitable.

 

Julie’s hand was out for a handshake, and Tom smiled and obliged. “Likewise, Julie. So good of you to come. I thought you were otherwise detained this weekend?” he asked. I bit the inside of my cheek.

 

Julie had the decency to blush at this, and she smiled, making sure she was properly dimpled, her heavily mascaraed eyes sparkling up at him. She reminded me of some over-plumed predator; a bad one. “Oh, yes, well, my plans fell through, and so I thought I’d come to Brian’s little show anyway. So, you heard that I was to be your assistant for the weekend, then?” she asked, her pink face lit with hope. She had failed to let go of Tom’s hand through this entire diatribe.

“I did, I did! Brian was disappointed you weren’t able to join us, but I think he came up with an excellent resolution to the situation,” Tom said, turning towards me with a polite smile. I forced my own smile, hating every minute of this exchange. I needed to get Nick and Simon together and get Tom’s boxes down on the floor at his table, but I didn’t dare move until Julie went along her merry way.

 

Julie’s eyes flared for a brief moment as she looked at me, and I had an overwhelming urge to stick my tongue out at her. This was so pathetic; I wished she would just go away. “Yes, our Rebecca is one of the good ones. I’m thankful she was available to take care of you,” Julie said politely.

Tom took this opportunity to politely slip his hand away from Julie and she laughed, faking her embarrassment at holding his hand for so long. “Yes, she has taken very good care of me. But, if you will excuse me, Julie, I will need to take your leave.” Tom leaned towards me and whispered, “The loo?”

 

I stepped back to lead him to the bathroom, waving my goodbye to Julie as she stood and watched us walk out of the backstage area. There was a private bathroom that was farther down the hall from the stage, and I showed him there rather than the public one that was closer. I pointed him in the direction of the door, and he went in as I leaned against the wall and waited. I sent a text to Nick about getting Tom’s boxes to his table, and that we would be along shortly. I hit send and looked up and down the deserted hallway. Freaking Julie...it was going to be painful to watch her stumble all over herself in his presence all weekend. Part of me couldn’t blame her, but I just wish she’d let well enough alone. But I knew she couldn’t. It wasn’t in her nature to let what she might have perceived as a slight on her reputation go without resolution on her terms. I took a deep breath and prayed she would behave this weekend. 

I turned my head at a sudden and loud “Pssst!!!” Tom was leaning out of the bathroom and beckoning towards me. Good lord, was he alright? I looked up and down the hall to make sure the hallway was deserted and walked over to the door, sliding my phone back in my messenger bag.

 

“Are you alright?” I asked, worried. Tom smiled mischievously at me as his hand darted out and grabbed my wrist, pulling me into the bathroom with him and locking the door behind me. He pulled the messenger bag from over my head and pulled me against him in a crushing kiss. The breath went out of me in a rush as my body slammed into his, and I returned his kiss on instinct. Tom moaned deep in his throat as lips covered mine, his tongue probing deep into my mouth. I laced my fingers through his curls and pulled him closer to me, crushing my breasts against his chest, and returned his moan. His mouth worked on me for a few moments, and I could feel his erection building against my belly. 

He tore his mouth away from mine and spun me around to face the wall, his hands slipping around my waist and working at the button and fly of my jeans. My hands slapped the cold concrete walls as he tugged my hips toward him, his fingers sliding into my jeans and pulling everything down to my knees. Holy shit, he was going to have me now?! I giggled. I didn’t care; I had wanted him again since this morning. I dismissed thinking; now was not the time for that, just feeling.

 

Tom’s hands slid urgently up my stomach and yanked my shirt up, unfastening my bra and letting my breasts free in his very warm hands. He ran his palms over my nipples, causing them to harden and pearl under his touch, and I arched my back, shoving my ass back against him. I was ready.

 

I felt Tom move away from me briefly as he pulled the condom from his jeans pocket. Oh, god love a man who is prepared... He slipped this on, quick as a flash, and the next thing I knew, he was plunged deep inside me. I gasped as he filled me, and my eyes closed in utter bliss as his hands hooked around my hips. 

 

“My god, you’re wet. Christ. Mmmm, I love how you are always ready for me, my darling,” he said, his voice deep and thick with lust as he moved deep within me. I was wet; I couldn’t help it when I was with him. He pulled me towards him over and over again, driving deep inside of me, his hips slapping against the backs of my thighs. His pace was almost frenzied; I didn’t know if I was going to faint or fall over.

 

Tom leaned towards me as I kept my hands above me on the concrete walls. I could feel the warmth of his body against my back, his breath hot on my ear. “Spread your legs for me, love. I want you to come for me.” I obliged, shifting my booted feet farther apart as his hand slipped down my belly, causing it to swell in anticipation of his touch, his warms fingers stroking against our juncture. I threw my head back onto his shoulder, my cheek pressed into his as his fingers worked me from the front and his cock worked me from behind. I could feel his breath heavy and warm in my ear, his encouraging moans fueling the building orgasm that was slowly beginning to vibrate through me. I spread my feet again, arching my back even more and pushing myself over and over again against his hips, his fingers slipping over the two of us as he thrust inside me. One stroke, two strokes, and then I cried out, coming all over his fingers, my body pulsing strongly around him. He moaned against my ear, pleased at my finish, and rewarded me with a bite on my shoulder. I gasped, feeling his teeth on my flesh, and I began pumping my hips back against him, helping him work for his own release. He shifted his hand to my hip again and pulled me against him, hard and deep. It only took a few strokes until he plunged deep within me, his cock pulsing with his own orgasm. I stayed still for a moment as I felt him come inside of me, and then moved my hips against him slowly, working the last of his orgasm. He gasped, his voice pitched high, making him sound very young and vulnerable, and then finished with most beautiful growl resonating deep within his chest. Tom shifted forward against my back, and he pushed me against the cool concrete wall, his breath coming in pants against my cheek. We remained up against the wall for a few moments, catching our breath, our bodies pressed against one another. I couldn’t believe we had just done this, and I laughed, making him pop unceremoniously out of me.

 

I felt Tom move away with a short laugh. I pulled up my undies and my jeans, the wetness of our encounter a warm reminder between my legs. How was I going to get through his autograph signing without grinning like a fiend? I smiled wickedly to myself, having realized I had asked this same question of myself two days earlier when I had been nervous about being in the man’s presence, and not post-coitus. I went to the mirror to see if I needed to adjust anything as Tom went into a stall to do his own housekeeping. Thankfully, my hair wasn’t as mussed as I thought it might have been, and my make up was still intact. I re-hooked my bra and straightened my t-shirt and jacket; I was still shaky from our extremely brief union. I gave myself another once over and I froze. I turned my head to the left and there it was, an unmistakable love bite given to me by Tom. A naughty thrill tickled deep within me, seeing that he had marked me during our little encounter. He had chosen this moment to come out of the stall, pulling his shirt straight and running his fingers through his hair, and smiling at me devilishly.

 

“Well, that was a bit of fun, wasn’t it?” he said to me, coming to wrap his arms around me and dipping towards me for a slow kiss. I returned his kiss, the love bite forgotten. The collar of my jacket would hide it, so I wasn’t worried. And I would show his work to him later; I had to get him back to the main event's room for the autograph session.

 

“Yes, fun and unexpected. But we have to go; you have to get back,” I said, all business. 

 

He nodded and kissed the tip of my nose. “Thank you for that, by the way. I wasn’t sure I’d get through the rest of the day without having you at some point,” he said, and winked. He moved away from me to wash his hands, and I stood against the cold wall, watching him and taking deep breaths. My thighs and knees trembled, and I could feel my cheeks flush. If he made a habit of dragging me into dark corners and secluded bathrooms, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to walk after this weekend. Now that was a fabulously depraved thought. I smiled to myself.

 

When he was finished, I reached for his hand and pulled him towards the door. “Come on, my rock star, time to go be fabulous.” I opened the bathroom door and peeked out; looking up and down the hall to make sure no one was around. Luckily, the hall was still empty and we both took our exit, holding hands, and making our way back to the main event's room.


	14. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter XIV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part is really convention heavy, I feel like I should apologize for the details if that isn’t your sort of thing. 
> 
> 21 – Depeche Mode – Enjoy the Silence http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diT3FvDHMyo  
> 22 – Daft Punk – One More Time http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGBhQbmPwH8  
> 23 – The Cure – Pictures of You http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8UR2TFUp8w

The tables were all set up in a row on the floor of the main room. Many of the actors would be sharing tables, but not Tom; he had a table to himself at the end. Nick and Simon had been busy stacking the different photos from Thor, the Avengers, the Hollow Crown series, and a few random headshots onto Tom’s signing table. Simon sat at the end with the cash box, and Nick was in a chair that would be next to Tom to help assist in the autographs. I had a chair placed next to Tom’s left to allow me to get up and run for anything he would need. The boys had also made sure he had a few water bottles on the table, as well as the bag of different colored sharpies I had left with the boxes earlier. Good lads; they knew how I’d want everything arranged and had taken care of it without me asking.

 

I walked Tom down the steps of stage left to his table, and the actors cheered and yelled their hello’s when he came down on the floor. The sound tech was playing a mix of alternative music, and was currently playing “Enjoy the Silence”. Tom waved dramatically and took his seat, laughing and calling out to a few of the others. I went to the front of the table, scanning the layout and making sure everything was in its proper place for him. Tom introduced himself to Nick and Simon, and both boys were polite in their excitement to meet him. They asked him a few questions about his upcoming movie, and Tom declined to tell them anything due to the infamous Marvel red dot of death, and the boys laughed. I turned and surveyed the room; they had set up aisles for each table, and there was a line for each aisle for autographs. There were to be no photographs at this signing, thankfully. 

 

I looked at my phone; it was almost noon and the doors would be opening soon to let everyone in for the signing. I walked back to my chair behind Tom; he sneaked a smile as I passed him to take my seat. I pulled off my messenger bag, set it next to the chair, and leaned over, tugging on his elbow to see if he needed anything.

 

“Hey, do you need anything before they get started?” I asked, leaning towards him and looking up into his eyes. He suppressed a wicked smile and my heart fluttered. I furrowed my brow at him, unsuccessfully trying to look serious and businesslike.  
“No, I, uh - I took care of what I needed earlier. I’m alright now, thank you for asking, love.” He raised his right brow suggestively and sat back, turning away from me. I could feel a blush creep up my neck, and I bit my lower lip, sitting back in my own chair. Oh yes...quite. I cleared my throat as the doors opened and the attendees flooded to the different signing lines, waiting to begin.

The autograph session went by quickly. Tom was a signing machine as he autographed helmets and toys and photos and assorted other things. He chatted with everyone; asked their name, asked if they were having a good time, and thanked them for coming. I noticed he had sold quite a few of his own photos; Nick and Simon took turns replacing any stacks that got too low. I kept my eye on Tom; he didn’t need much from me. He only turned to me a few times in between attendees; once to get a piece of gum, once to remove said piece of gum, and once to take a mint from me. The attendees were so polite; they knew not to ask for photos, and Tom only had to turn down a few ardent fans who asked if he could sneak one in. He apologized profusely, and then informed them to please come to the photo suite afterwards to get a photo with him. He was a pro, and I was enjoying myself watching him work. I let him interact with everyone as he saw fit and didn’t interfere. All of his fans were polite and lovely; it was refreshing not to be the bad guy. A few had even brought him handmade gifts of various fan art and little plushies. I took these, beginning a stack next to me on the floor in one of Tom’s empty photo boxes. I gathered everything, making sure all the things were together; I would be mailing them to him after the event, there was no way he could take his bounty onto the plane with him. The sound tech was going strong with tunes to keep everyone entertained, and when “One More Time” came on, a few of the actors got up and danced behind their tables, and Tom was no exception. He didn’t jump up, thank god, but he danced in his chair as best he could, all the while signing and singing and talking and having a grand old time.

 

After the last of the autographs were finished, Nick and Simon put the remaining photos back in Tom’s boxes and walked these, and his box of fan goodies, backstage for safekeeping. Tom had only gone through two of his water bottles, so I grabbed the remaining two and slipped them in my bag. He capped his sharpie successfully and grabbed the pencil bag for me, and I stashed this, as well. We got up with a wave to the other actors and walked out and across the street back to the hotel. I had to get him to the photo suite; but first, lunch. As I approached the restaurant, our lunches were waiting, and I grabbed the sack, leading Tom down the hall of the meeting rooms in the hotel to the room he would be taking photos in. There was already a ridiculously long line, and as we walked towards the door, the line erupted as they saw him. He waved and smiled, but we didn’t stop; we couldn’t. He had to get lunch in him before his next event. 

 

We got into the room; it was large and empty, with rows of chairs set up in theater style with the back wall draped and ready for the professional photographer to take the shots. Tom and I sat at a back table near the corner and I pulled out his lunch. He devoured his sandwich, and our chit chat was minimal. After the photo suite, he had a panel on his own back in the main event's room, and then he had a few hours of downtime to get ready for the dinner with the stars. A minimum of one hundred attendees had purchased special tickets for a chance to have dinner with all of the talent at the convention tonight. It was a big dress-up occasion, and it gave the con-goers a chance to sit and hang out with the actor’s one on one. Thankfully I would have a few hours to grab yet another shower and get ready, if we could keep our hands off each other. I was chewing thoughtfully on my turkey wrap as I worked out that equation. 

 

Tom spent the next hour taking photos with everyone that came in. I sat at the table in the back and watched, casually scrolling my Facebook and checking my email. Again, not much for me to do other than be available for him if he needed anything. I watched him smile and flirt with the attendees, complimenting their costumes and posing accordingly. He was the same Tom I had seen in every red carpet walk or when he was in Cologne. These fans were my people; I was part of this army and they had no idea. It occurred to me that I should feel a little bad about that; the intimate knowledge of sharing Tom’s bed, the ultimate dream of every girl that walked in this room and posed with him for a photo. I was living that dream, albeit for a small window of time, and I was simultaneously thrilled and horribly guilty at the same time.

 

We finished fifteen minutes late; a few stragglers had begged and pleaded to get photos, and of course Tom couldn’t say no. I didn’t mind; he had a thirty minute cushion built into his schedule for something like this, and the girls left happy, and that’s what was important. I grabbed my bag and hustled him back across the street to the convention center and back to the main event's room for his Tom-only panel. 

 

We got backstage and had ten minutes until he went on. I handed him his last banana and walked to the wings to take a look at the crowd. It was packed. The sound tech was playing music from Thor and the Avengers to get everyone pumped up for the upcoming panel, and the audience buzzed with excitement. An hour with Tom Hiddleston. Tom had requested the panel be hosted with him and the emcee of the event. I wondered if an hour and a half would be long enough for him... I felt the man himself walk up behind me, putting a hand on my shoulder and peeking out at the house with me.

 

“Goodness, they are all here to listen to me ramble for an hour and a half, poor souls,” Tom said with a small laugh.

 

I turned and looked at him over my shoulder, tentatively reaching up and touching his finger tips. “Good lord, man, you know better than that. You do have an army, don’t you know that? And they all love you desperately, or at least want to,” I whispered, my eyes widening for emphasis. He looked to see if anyone was around and then placed a gentle kiss on my ear. I closed my eyes, sliding my fingers through his.

 

“You flatter me, my lady. I have an army...” he said darkly, laughing quietly, and then pulled away. I turned and watched him walk a few steps deeper into the wings, away from the stage. It was the first time he had touched me since our little bathroom interlude, and I was happy he had sneaked that little bit of intimacy with me.

 

I went and sat with the sound tech as the emcee appeared, and he and Tom spoke briefly. The panel began, and the emcee and Tom went on stage to take their seats to thunderous applause and a few hysterical screams. I sat back in my chair and listened as they began, and the questions started coming in. Tom got the usual questions about the upcoming Thor movie, about his training, how it was to work with the other actors, would he be appearing in Avengers 2, why did he choose a wig over his own hair in Thor 2, would Loki be getting his own movie. But there were a few questions about his other upcoming films and projects; would he be going back to Guinea to work with UNICEF, did he enjoy roles other than playing a super villain, and would he be doing any theater in the near future. Tom shared his excitement for all his projects, and everything was an honor and a privilege, and how lucky he was for each and every opportunity he had over the last few years to do what he loved to do.

 

The panel finished on time, and Tom and I hurried back over to the hotel and up to his room via our trusty hotel manager and service elevator. He looked happy, but exhausted; his schedule had him going non-stop since this morning, and I wondered if he wanted to rest before going to dinner this evening. Tom opened his room and we both entered, both of us sighing with tired relief at the privacy and the quiet. I walked to the sitting area and put my bag on the coffee table. I felt his arms circle around my waist, his head resting on top of mine, another heavy sigh coming from him again.

“How much time have I got before dinner, love?” he asked. I could feel the vibrations of his voice resonate through my head.

 

I patted his hand, leaning back into him. “You have two and half hours before you need to be down there.”  
Tom pulled away from me, taking my hand. “Good, come lay with me for an hour or so. I’m exhausted.” Tom led us up the stairs to his sleeping room, and we shed our shoes and jackets and crawled onto his bed. I set my phone alarm for an hour, and then he curled around me, both of us falling quickly asleep.

 

I woke up to the opening of “Pictures of You” and smiled, shifting against him. He pulled his arm away from me and grabbed my phone, laying his arm across me again to hand it to me, and I shut off the alarm. The room was quiet again, and I stretched and settled back against him. His body was warm with sleep, his breath a steady in and out on my neck. I knew we had to get up, but I wanted to take this small moment lying in his arms. My alarm had only been set for an hour, so I had time to just be here with him for a few more minutes. The sex part of our fragile relationship was amazing, but this quiet time with him, in this intimate space of lying with him as we both slept, this had to be more than just physical attraction. I knew how I felt about him, how my feelings were growing for him. I had no idea how Tom felt, of course, but I could only hope. Maybe, just maybe he was beginning to like me as well? Just a little? More than as a sex partner, but perhaps as a companion? I couldn’t hope for lover or girlfriend; that line of thinking would be destructive on too many levels. But I wouldn’t deny how I felt - I loved him. Despite the actor, the fame, and all the movie roles, the interviews, and the gentle treatment of his fans, I was in bed with this glorious man wrapped around me, and he was comfortable enough to sleep next to me. I just didn’t know if I should say anything to him about how I felt. We had really only known each other for about forty eight hours, and things like love sometimes happened to people in that short of time. But could it be possible that something like that was real and happening with us? I didn’t want to be in a Freddie/Hester situation where I would declare my undying love and he just couldn’t do the same. I learned that lesson quickly. It was probably best to say nothing, and just enjoy what we did have.

 

And then there was the problem with Julie. I sighed, trying not to aggravate myself with the thought of her. I felt in my heart that she wouldn’t get under Tom’s skin, but it was her future attempts that upset me. As my feelings grew for this man, I felt protective of him; I didn’t want someone like her doing her best to take advantage of him. I’d strangle her before I’d allow that to happen. And I knew if she did corner him to try and manipulate him for her own needs, it would take all I had in me to keep from snatching her bald-headed. She was a sly one, and definitely not an idiot; I just hoped she couldn’t guess at what Tom and I had between us. She would use that to her advantage quicker than anything, and I couldn’t have that. My reputation in this business would be shattered, not to mention the horrible gossip that would follow Tom. God, should we stop? Should I end this before it went any further? I was conflicted. I didn’t know if I could take that chance; I cared for him too much. But I couldn’t hurt him. I wouldn’t do that. 

 

Tom squeezed me to him with a sleepy groan, his arms tightening around me briefly before pulling away and sitting up on his side of the bed. I rolled over and curled around his hips, my arms wrapping around his waist. He rolled his head from side to side, working out the kinks in his neck, his hand wrapping around mine 

“When you said I’d be busy, I had no idea I’d be this busy. Damn, I could’ve slept until tomorrow, I think,” he said, looking down at me with a tired grin. 

 

I chuckled and squeezed his waist. “I told you they’d work you hard today.”  
Tom nodded, rubbing his other hand across his face, trying to wake up. I glanced at his bedside clock and read five fifteen. My stolen time was up. I pulled away and scooted next to him on his side of the bed, resting my head on his shoulder. His arm slid around me immediately and held me. 

“I know. I just wish I could stay up here with you forever,” Tom said, kissing the top of my head. I swallowed, a little shocked at his comment, my errant butterflies flapping their little wings with happiness.

I looked up at him as he looked down at me in the late afternoon light of his room. He reached up and curled a lock of hair that had come loose from my ponytail behind my ear, his fingers lingering on my cheek. There were no nervous smiles or giggling or any of that; we watched each other soberly and silently, looking at the other for what seemed to be an unasked question. I knew what mine was, I just had no idea what his could be. 

Tom blinked once, twice, then nodded and kissed my forehead gently. “Go - go get ready. Wear something pretty for me, and I’ll do the same.” He squeezed me to him briefly and then let me go. I got up reluctantly, grabbing my shoes and jacket, and headed over to my room to get ready for the dinner.


	15. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter XV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 24 – New Order – Ceremony http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pr6SxJb-Dw

I pulled out my last remaining outfit to wear for the dinner. I had packed a delicate silk blush colored blouse with cap sleeves and a sweetheart neckline. I paired this with a black linen pencil skirt, and was grateful I had packed my low kitten heeled pumps to go with this particular ensemble. I didn’t think my feet would appreciate the high heeled sandals after all the walking I did today. I showered again quickly, washing my face to apply fresh makeup, and plugged in my curling iron to curl my hair again. It took me a good hour to get completely ready; my normally straight hair fighting to hold a curl.

 

After dressing and making sure I looked decent enough, and giggling wickedly as I covered the love bite on my neck with a bit of foundation, I grabbed my purse to take with me for the evening. I wouldn’t need my handler bag tonight. It was a no-autograph event; only photographs and one-on-one time tonight. And after the dinner, I had to get him to the green room, despite my inclination of spending alone time with him. I filled with dread thinking about that. I knew there was no way we could avoid Julie, and I would have to just play nice. Her potential machinations had me on edge, and I hoped to god Tom and I both got through this night in one piece.

 

I went into his room and he was nowhere to be found. I set my purse on the coffee table next to my handler bag and went up to his sleeping room to check on his progress. I could hear whistling and smell the most amazing hint of cologne coming from his bathroom. I went to sit on his bed, crossing my ankles and leaning back on my elbows to wait for him to emerge. I wished I didn’t have such a bad feeling about tonight, but something niggled at the back of my mind, like I should be paying attention to it. I pushed it away as nerves; I just wished Julie would get out of my head. 

Tom shut the light off in the bathroom as he exited; his whistling spiraling comically down to silence as he looked at me. His eyes moved slowly from my heeled feet all the way up to my face, taking in my appearance. He walked slowly towards me, that familiar predatory gleam sparkling in his eyes. 

 

“You look beautiful tonight, love,” he said, his voice above a husky whisper. A selfish thrill of pleasure snaked through me, chasing the morose thoughts of Julie out of my mind. Just when exactly had he started calling me love? He had seen me dressed nice all weekend; I wasn’t sure why at this particular moment I looked beautiful to him. But I wasn’t going to argue with the man. I stood up and met him at the end of the bed. He took both of my hands and brought them to his lips, kissing each of them gently. His fingers shifted, folding and twining around mine, his very dark blue eyes never leaving my own.

 

I looked up at him and smiled. “You don’t look too shabby yourself, Mr. Hiddleston.” And he didn’t. He looked amazing. He was wearing a silky blue shirt that shimmered between blue and lavender that he had left unbuttoned at the top, black trousers, and matching waistcoat. And he smelled wonderful, yet again. His hair was damp from what I could only assume was a quick shower, and it curled over his collar and behind his ears. He took my breath away.

 

Tom looked down at me, a shy smile on his lips with a slight pinking of his cheeks. He was adorable. “What, this old thing. I only wear this when I don’t care how I look.”

 

I laughed quietly and squeezed his hands, moving away from him and holding out his black suit jacket that was lying on the bed. He took the jacket and slipped it on, arranging it over his broad shoulders. I sighed quietly. There was nothing like a well dressed man in a gorgeous tailored suit, and he was absolutely no exception. 

 

“Let’s go get ‘em, shall we?” I asked, motioning for us to leave. He took my hand once again and pulled me into his arms, looking deep into my eyes. He slipped his hand up under my hair, cradling the back of my head. I held onto him, not knowing if he was going to dip me or kiss me, or both. He eyes roamed over my face; his face held no hint of a smile or cheeky grin. For a fleeting moment, I thought something was wrong and I squeezed his arm, alarmed.

 

“In a moment, I want - I just want to give you something to think about while we dine this evening. I know we will be surrounded by lots of people for the next few hours, and I want you to have something to hold onto, for later,” he said, his face very serious this time. I could feel my brow furrow a bit; now I was worried. 

 

Tom leaned toward me, his eyes closing slowly. His lips covered mine in a very deliberate and very thorough; deep kiss that set my pulse racing and my insides bubbling slowly away. He just held me in his arms and kissed me, slowly and lazily, his tongue tangling and sliding against my own until I thought I would faint or shove him on the bed to have my way with him. After completely kissing me senseless, he pulled away, and I opened my eyes as best as I could. It felt like the room was spinning around us, and it took me a moment to be able to focus on his face.

 

“That, my love, is a taste of what is waiting for you after tonight. No thoughts of Steph or Julie or any other woman in this hotel. Just you. Only you,” he said, serious as a heart attack. I stared at him and couldn’t believe my ears. I closed my open mouth, my teeth snapping shut; I hadn’t realized it was open. My god, did he read my mind? Had he known about my trepidation for this evening? And just what did he mean by me being the only woman? I was in a bit of a shock for the second time in the last few minutes. Tom pulled away, his hand leaving the back of my head, his arm still around my waist. I was speechless; I had no words. I blinked. All I could do was stare up at him stupidly. He smiled again, inclining his head, indicating that we should go. “Shall we?” he said, and I followed him in a daze.

 

The dinner was being held in one of the ballrooms downstairs off the lobby. We entered the room; many of the guests and handlers had already arrived and were waiting for the attendees with their special dinner tickets to be allowed entrance. The actors were in tiny huddles, talking and laughing. Stephanie was there, holding hands with the young actor she was dancing with last night, and she waved to Tom as we entered. It took everything I had not to hold his hand as we made our way to the ballroom, and we both knew we couldn’t touch each other for the next few hours. And that is probably why he laid that kiss on me earlier. I smiled to myself and touched my lips briefly, watching him walk over to Steph and the young actor. Something to hold on to for later... 

 

I walked around the tables, looking for Tom’s place card, and found him at one of the tables in the back. I set my purse in the chair next to his spot and stood behind my chair to survey the room. Most of the actors were here already, along with a few of the co-directors. Brian hadn’t made it in yet; most likely putting out a fire somewhere across the street. And no sign of Edward or Julie yet. This was no surprise; Edward ran on his own time table, which made Julie crazy. I was glad I wasn’t handling him. I wasn’t sure I could’ve done that job; his laziness drove me nuts.

 

I checked the time on my phone; seven straight up. They were going to let the attendees in any moment now. I walked over to Tom, who was telling some amusing and animated story to Steph and her companion, and I placed my hand at his elbow. 

 

“It’s almost time. We should get seated,” I said, smiling politely at the small group. Tom nodded and promised to finish his story later, then followed me to our seats. He took my purse and held my chair out for me, ever the gentleman, and I sat. I tried not to grin up at him as I got settled, instead taking my purse from him and shoving it under my chair as he took his own seat. I set my phone next to my plate and looked at him out of the corner of my eye. He was arranging his place setting and fiddling with his napkin adorably. 

 

The doors opened and Brian, Edward, and Julie came through them, along with the first of the attendees to take a seat for dinner. Tom’s table filled up quickly, which was not unexpected, and the others found seats at the other tables with the other stars. I looked at Brian as he took a seat at one of the back tables, as well. He looked exhausted, like he was running on Red Bull and adrenaline, which meant he looked normal for a Saturday night of a convention. Edward and Julie were placed at a table at the far end of the room, away from Tom and me. I would have to thank Brian later for his forethought on that little stroke of genius. All the attendees that sat at our table were shy and quietly looking at Tom. They were awestruck. Thankfully, Tom began engaging our table mates and broke the ice with each of them, asking their names and whatnot. He was a fabulous table host, and by the time the main was served, he had them all laughing and talking to him as if it were no big deal they were sitting with Tom Hiddleston.

 

I sat quietly to the left of him, keeping an eye on the room. At some point, he would have to get up and make the rounds to each table, giving everyone a chance to speak with him and get a photo if they wanted one. I normally let my guest go at it alone without me tagging along, but with Ms. Julie frothing at her table to get her hooks into him, I decided during dessert I would go with him. It was during the salad course that I noticed her staring over at our table, and the incredible look of longing and resentment was not masked as well as she may have liked. 

 

I finished the last of my coffee, took the last bite of the smooth chocolate cheesecake, and whispered in Tom’s ear that we needed to get up and make his rounds. He took one last swallow of his water and stood up to excuse himself from our fellow diners. I stood up with him, and we walked to the next table as the other actors took this as their cue to do the same. We walked to each table; Tom sat and chatted with everyone, and I assisted in a few photos. Everyone was nervously polite with Tom, and he made sure they didn’t feel too awkward. A few girls almost hyperventilated from nerves, and Tom hugged each of them, assuring them it was alright. I giggled inside, and for the second time this weekend I thought, I know that feel, bro...

 

We made our way over to the table Brian was sitting at, and I excused myself briefly to go sit with him and check in. Tom was chatting with the attendees at the table, so I was able to keep my eye on him. Edward was working the far end of the room, but Julie was nowhere to be seen. Brian was finishing his dessert as I sat down with him, and he welcomed me with a tired smile.

 

“How goes it, my friend?” I asked, and waited for him to swallow his bite. 

 

He nodded, taking a large gulp of water. “It’s going alright, nothing I can’t handle, or at least get someone else to handle,” he said with a wink. He leaned towards me and whispered, “How is he?” as he nodded at Tom. He was chatting with a few young men, all asking him questions about the armor change from the Thor movies to the Avengers. I tried not to let my face betray my emotions too much, but damned if it wasn't hard.

 

“He’s great. I got him to lay down for a nap after his last panel, so he should be good to go for the rest of the evening,” I said as nonchalantly as I could. 

 

Brian nodded again, stirring sugar into his coffee. “Awesome, listen. He is unbelievable; I’ve gotten nothing but the most glowing feedback about him. He is just amazing. Dammit, I wish he could come to my convention every year, but I’m not sure I could afford him,” he said with a chuckle. I looked over at Tom, still talking to the two young men about Loki in the comics versus the movies. 

 

“True, but isn’t he worth every penny, Brian?” I asked, looking back at Brian and grinning like the Cheshire cat. 

 

He nodded as he sipped his coffee. “Yes, and I’ve made back the investment, but damn. We’ll see.” Brian set his cup down and sat back in his chair with an incredibly heavy sigh. I looked back over at Tom and immediately froze. Julie had snaked her way over to him when I wasn’t watching. I fought to stay put in my chair as I casually looked at the two of them. There was no need to make a public spectacle of this, so I stayed put. She was smiling prettily up at him and standing very close. I bit the inside of my cheek. Poor Tom. Julie had strategically chosen a low cut wrap dress in the deepest blood red that clung to her curves, her very ample cleavage on display for all to see. He was a warm blooded man and didn’t stand a chance. Almost. I calmed myself with the memory of his lips on mine before we had come down to dinner, and I knew my place in the oncoming course of events. She was just going to make it a bumpy ride. Dammit. I couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but it appeared that Tom was being very polite, and Julie laughed and hung onto everything he said, finding a way to touch him whenever she could. Watching her made me feel ill.

 

The dinner was winding down; the large room had cleared out of most of the attendees, except for a few who stayed to get some extra time with the talent. The smoking group of actors had disappeared soon after their first round of the tables, returning in a loud gregarious cloud of smoke to ask if it was time to get upstairs. I excused myself from Brian and got up from my seat to retrieve my purse. Julie was still with Tom and having an animated conversation; it was time for me to break this up.

 

I slipped the strap of my purse over my shoulder and walked up behind Tom, touching his back to let him know of my presence. He turned to me and smiled, and I could feel the resentful heat from Julie’s eyes boring into my skull. I didn’t care. “If you’re ready, we can head upstairs now if you’d like?” I asked him politely.

 

“Absolutely! Do you have everything?” He asked. I nodded and moved to stand next to him. Julie reluctantly backed away as we made our way forward, and she smiled a little too brightly as we walked past her and out the door. 

 

The hotel was quiet this evening; most of the attendees were next door at another rave, so I opted to use the regular elevators. We were joined in the elevator by one of the other actors and their handler; thankfully it wasn't Edward with Julie. Tom and the other actor chatted briefly as we rode up to the sixteenth floor.

 

The doors opened and we flashed our badges to the new sentries. We went directly to the green room. Same setup as the previous nights; the music going strong in the background. I smiled as I heard the guitar riffs from “Ceremony”. I went into the room with the bar and ordered a ginger ale from Matt. Tom came to stand behind me, and he ordered his Jameson, straight. No drinking tonight for me, even if Tom brought me something. No way. I needed to have my wits about me tonight, just in case. Who knew what Julie would do, and I needed to stay sober. And I wouldn’t be off the clock like I was two nights before; I’d be on high alert until I got him safely back to his room. Matt gave Tom his drink and handed me my ginger ale with a wink. The couch was populated by actors already, but they scooted to make room for Tom, and I took up residence next to him in one of the extra folding chairs that were scattered about. I wasn’t leaving his side for a moment.

 

I was halfway done with my drink when I saw Brian come in the room and go behind the bar for a beer. Tom noticed his entrance, and he excused himself from his conversation and hopped up to go speak with him. They chatted briefly, and then went out on the balcony for privacy. I thought about following, but I knew that would have looked intrusive, so I stayed in my seat. My curiosity was piqued.

 

Edward and Julie arrived shortly after that, much to the excited shouts of the other actors at his appearance. He reached around the bar, grabbed the half empty bottle of his Glenlivet, and proceeded to exit the room with Julie left behind. It was drunk DDR time, and some of the other actors left the room to join him. She leaned against the bar, making sure Matt could see all of her assets as he poured her her own drink. As she turned around, Brian and Tom had chosen this time to come in from the balcony, and Julie lit up like a Christmas tree seeing Tom was alone, without me. I grabbed my purse and stood up, ready to swoop in to the rescue, when Brian caught my eye. He was beckoning for me to come follow him. What the hell? Panicked, I looked over at Tom, who had already been bamboozled by Julie; she was hanging off his arm and laughing at something he had said. I clenched my teeth and followed Brian past the two of them and out on the balcony. This better be important; I didn’t want to leave him alone with that witch for a moment.

 

It was still unseasonably warm, but slightly chillier than the other evening when I had been out here on my own. I rubbed my arms for warmth and waited for Brian to slide the glass door shut.

 

“Hey, Tom and I were talking, and we were wondering if you could do me a favor,” Brian asked, taking a draw from his beer. I had no idea what this could be about, and my mind wasn’t here; it was still in the green room with Tom and Julie. “Tom’s flight doesn’t leave until late Tuesday and he’ll be here on his own until then. I talked to the other directors and none of us can really stick around here. Would you be willing to stay until then and take him to the airport? Maybe do some tourist stuff or whatever? I’ll kick you some money for your expenses, and I can cover your room through Tuesday. Do you think you can do it?” 

 

Alone with Tom, on our own until Tuesday with no responsibilities or prying eyes. He could just be himself, alone, in this city, with me. I sucked in my lips and bit them hard to hide the huge smile that almost erupted on my face, and I tamped down my excitement. I tried my best to look thoughtful and reflective.

 

“Yeah, I might be able to. I’ll have to phone work, but that shouldn’t be an issue; I have a few more days of paid time off I can take. Sure, I’d be happy to show him around,” I said, my voice wavering a bit near the end. I tried; I just hoped it was convincing enough.

 

Brian let out the breath he was holding, and sudden and immediate relief broke over his face. Sheesh, he was really concerned that I wouldn’t do it? Goodness, I guess our subterfuge was working; no one had suspected a thing. “Thank you. You have no idea how grateful I am. I didn’t want to ask you-know-who if you couldn’t. I’m just glad you can. Thanks, honey, I owe you one again,” Brian said, taking me into his arms and giving me a quick squeeze. Oh Brian, my darling, you had no idea... I pulled away, and then a thought occurred to me.

 

“Hey, listen; don't worry about covering my hotel room. I can pick that up on my own. I don’t want you to have to shell out any extra money for a room for me.” That I won’t be sleeping in... I finished in my head. 

 

Brian grinned. “At least let me give you some cash for food and other expenses, ok?” He asked. 

I nodded and drank the last of my ginger ale, hiding my smile. “Sure, I’ll take your money.”


	16. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter XVI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 25– Deftones – Change http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPpDyIJdasg  
> 26 – The Cure – Burn http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzHzHbeRYSc

Brian laughed, and we both headed back into the suite. Brian went to sit with some of the actors, and after a quick once over the room, I saw no sign of Tom. Or Julie. I walked casually through the suite and went across the hall, checking to see if she had dragged him over there for some DDR, but neither of them was there. I went back into the green room, and then decided to check the sleeping rooms that had been opened for private conversations. I hoped she hadn’t dragged him into one of those rooms, and I filled with dread thinking about it. I checked the one closest to the bar and, lo and behold, Tom and Julie were sitting on one of the beds. Julie was sitting quite close to Tom, one hand on his arm, and the other on his knee. I could tell by Tom’s body language that he was uncomfortable. Time to go save my favorite villain.

 

They both looked up as I entered the room, and Tom looked at me, his eyes haunted but relieved to see me. Julie, on the other hand, watched me with narrowed green eyes as she removed her hands from him slowly. 

 

“I see you have found us; did you get lost?” Tom asked politely. I came into the room, smiling as nicely as I could, and sat in the chair next to the bed. Julie watched me, the smile on her face frozen as she watched me take my seat and sit, crossing my legs and leaning back into the overstuffed chair. 

 

“No, Brian needed to share something with me. But I see you found some company!” I said as politely as I could, taking a sip of my ginger ale and watching the two of them over my cup. Tom looked uncomfortable, and Julie lit up as she leaned into him. Why didn’t he just get up and leave?

 

“Yes, Julie and I have been chatting a bit. She’s been kind enough to keep me company while you were detained,” Tom said, his voice even and emotionless. He looked withdrawn, bordering on upset, and I went on alert.

 

Julie reached for her cup that was placed on the floor and finished it, dangling it with her blood red fingertips. “Yes, lots of chatting. Hey, Rebecca, honey, would you be a dear and refresh Tom’s drink? He’s been out for a bit and I’m sure he could use another one,” Julie said, indicating the empty plastic cup next to his foot.

 

Tom shook his head and forced a smile. “Oh, no, I don't need another - “

 

“Nonsense! If Brian spent all that money on you, you should at least take advantage of it, Tom, honey,” Julie said, giggling into Tom’s ear and linking her arm through his. My anger and suspicion began to simmer slowly, and if she called anyone “honey” one more time, I think I would vomit. On her very expensive four inch platform heels. 

 

“If Mr. Hiddleston doesn't want anything else to drink, then I’m not going to force him. Would you like something else instead?” I asked Tom directly. He turned slowly, his face blank. He was acting strange and I wanted to ask what the hell was going on. “I can grab you a bottle of water.” Being ever accommodating, and at his service, I jumped up to get Tom’s water when I heard Julie rattling the ice around in her cup. I stopped, my hand on the door jamb, and turned to face her. 

 

She shook her cup again, smiling up at me. “Would you be a doll and ask Matt to make me another whiskey sour? I mean, since you’re up and all.” Ah, I see what we are doing. She wasn’t going to budge, and I would go and fetch drinks because she knew I would. I walked over to the bed slowly and took her cup. I wasn’t going to make a scene, I was better than that.

 

I walked back into the main room and stood behind a few of the actors at the bar, waiting my turn. The room was loud and raucous; “Change” had been turned up quite loudly in the background. As I stood there, I could feel my temper rise. Each second that ticked away, I knew Julie was with Tom, and god only knew what that witch was saying to him. And as each second inched by, I got angrier and angrier. Not at Tom. The man was blameless, albeit acting very oddly. But Julie was being a rude bitch, and I needed to get Tom out of there and put an end to whatever she might be trying to manipulate out of him.

 

Matt made the whiskey sour and handed me a bottle of water for Tom. He wasn’t stupid; he knew who this drink was for, and knew it wasn’t for me. He gave me a sympathetic look, and when I went back to the room, Tom and Julie were standing at the foot of the bed, Julie clutching at his forearm as Tom was turned to leave. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep myself from yelling at her.

 

“Here you go!” I said cheerfully, handing the drink to her. I also handed the bottle to Tom and he took it, moving closer to me. Julie took her cup, but continued to hold onto his arm, her eyes pleading up into his.

 

Tom pulled away and said, “I’ll give it some thought and I’ll get back to you on that. I will let you know if I can. Now, if you'll excuse me - “

 

With Tom moving away from her, her hand moved to join the other to clutch the fresh whiskey sour that I had fetched for her. I stood back away from them, watching this weird play.

 

“Please do. I think it would be highly beneficial to you,” she said, taking a slow sip, her eyes glittering menacingly over her drink. She looked like a satisfied spider who thought she had trapped her next meal. 

 

Tom nodded and smiled politely, but he looked grim, and his smile didn’t reach his eyes, as was usual for him. I reached for Tom so I could excuse us from her presence, when Julie made the decision for us. “Well, I have to go mingle. Thank you for our chat, Tom, honey, and I look forward to hearing what you find out,” she said, smiling up at him as she exited the room. She winked at me as she left, and I wished I could trip her as she exited the room. 

 

Tom walked deeper into the room, setting down the bottle of water, his hand running through his hair, making it poof out in a riot of loose curls. I walked to one of the beds and sat, waiting. I didn’t like this, whatever this was. I felt rotten that I wasn’t here to save him from her. But part of me was relieved it was over with. Hopefully she would back off now that she had her alone time with him. Maybe. I could always hope.

 

“You ok?” I asked quietly, watching him pace from the bathroom door to the edge of the bed I was seated on, and then back again.

He looked frustrated. “I suppose. I just don't appreciate being put in this position,” Tom said, his face flushed and agitated. He was rubbing his neck, causing the skin to redden, and then suddenly, he stopped his pacing in front of me. 

 

I looked up at him and waited. “What position? Was it something Julie said?” 

 

He looked down at me, his face changing with a myriad of emotions. Suddenly, he reached and took my hand and hauled me to the bathroom with him. Woohoo! Were we going to have a bathroom repeat of this afternoon? I had a sudden thrill of excitement shoot through me, thinking about our last little trip to a bathroom together. He shut the door behind me and locked it. For a moment, I watched him to see what his next move would be. No such luck. Tom just began to pace and look upset. I sat down on the edge of the tub and waited for him to spill it.

 

“I’ve only spent twenty minutes speaking with that woman, and she has me simultaneously conflicted and infuriated!” Tom said, his voice on edge and his hands running through his hair yet again. I loved how it stood up on end in all its curly madness; I tried not to find him adorable while he was upset. I sobered my thoughts; he looked distraught and I needed to be here for him if necessary.

 

“Tom, what did she say? Do I need to speak with Brian about having her removed? Because if she –“ I began to say, until Tom interrupted me with a wave of his hand.

 

“No, it won’t make any difference; the damage is done.” He sighed heavily, rubbed his hand over his face, and continued his pacing. I crossed my legs the best I could as I perched on the edge of the tub. “She said she wanted to ask me a few things, and if the two of us could chat in private. I didn’t see an issue with this, and I didn’t want to be rude, so we went to the room to talk while you were out with Brian. She asked a lot of questions; about you, about your performance so far, which I felt was none of her business, so I gave her a few vague answers. Then she proceeded to talk about a shared acquaintance of ours who did a few voices on the first Thor videogame. I didn’t know the man very well; I had only met him once. Anyhow, she explained that she was very good friends with him, and how he had encouraged her to speak with me about being my private handler whenever I made an appearance in America. I was just - I couldn’t believe the tenacity with which this woman spoke; it was unbelievable!”

 

I was both shocked and unsurprised that Julie had said this to Tom. Shocked that she would be ballsy enough to ask him to his face rather than go through the proper channels, and unsurprised because she was, after all, Julie. 

 

“How did you respond?” I asked, half-knowing what he might have told her. I knew he couldn’t commit to something like that, especially with her practically begging him to his face. 

 

“The only thing I could do was apologize to her, let her know that I didn’t handle things like that, and that she’d have to speak with my agency. I thought that would deter her, but then she said -” Tom looked at me, the corners of his eyes turned down and his brows furrowed with worry. He looked sad and disappointed. I wished I could jump up and hold him, but I stayed put. He stopped his pacing and leaned against the bathroom counter. His arms were crossed in front of him, and he was looking down at his feet. He was silent for a span of moments. Tom inhaled sharply through his nose, and he looked almost nervous. He blinked a few times and looked everywhere in the bathroom except at me. I was getting worried about the long drawn out silence when he finally spoke. “She told me terrible things about you,” he said, barely above a strained whisper. Now he had my full attention. He went on after clearing his throat. “She said that you had an infamous habit of seducing and sleeping with the actors that you handled so you could try and gain their favor for other jobs at other events. She told me that you would fake your interest and play the whore, and that everyone knew about your reputation. And if any actor found out you were working a show, they would cancel their appearance just to stay away from you. She also said that you, uh - that if you didn’t succeed, that you would threaten to blackmail them, threatening to go public. Then she proceeded to explain how shocked she was that Brian had chosen you to be my assistant, and how unfortunate it was that I was placed with someone so unprofessional, and how lucky it was for me that her weekend plans had changed, and she was ready to resume her duties. And all I had to do was say the word, and you would be escorted off the premises, and she would make sure I was taken care of properly. I was...speechless, I-“ He faltered in an embarrassed rush, his voice trailing off. Tom finally looked up at me, and for a flicker of an instant, I saw doubt cross his beautiful face. 

 

My stomach did flip flops as I silently filled with rage, listening to Julie’s laundry list for me. I could feel my pulse race and my limbs begin to shake. Julie had accused me of the most embarrassing and atrocious thing she could think of to make her look like a shining savior for Tom, things she herself may have been guilty of. And if she was selling the lies that dripped from her mouth, who else had she told this wicked information to? She had stated that the actors knew about my reputation; holy shit, who did she tell this to? I was ruined in the space of twenty minutes; she had ruined me and had obliterated any chance I had at any kind of relationship with Tom, and possibly any other convention I ever wanted to work for. I looked up at him. He was worrying the edge of his thumb as he watched me, and the suspicion and doubt on his face broke my heart in two. He looked away.

 

“Tom. Tom - do you believe her?” I asked, my voice strained. After the last few days, after everything we had gone through, after becoming friends and then lovers, could he believe that I had lied about everything just to get into his pants? To add him to a long, mythical list of men that I had apparently slept with throughout the United States? To further my fucking career as a volunteer? I bit my lower lip, waiting. 

 

Tom looked back at me and blinked. His mouth was a grim line and the corners of his lips trembled slightly. I couldn’t tell if he believed me or not. I had seen this look before, and he used this for both anger and sadness. He swallowed thickly and took a deep breath. “I - I don’t think you are capable of something that selfish or treacherous. But Rebecca, I’m not sure, I -” He fell silent.

 

I closed my eyes. I felt some small relief, but that relief at his tenuous faith in me was quickly replaced with fury. I opened my eyes and they burned. I stared at his reflection in the mirror behind him. I wanted to throttle Julie now. I slowly rose from the edge of the tub and smoothed my hands over my skirt, my moist palms stinging from my nails that had dug into them as he told me what Julie had said about me. He watched me, saying nothing, his right eyebrow rising slightly in what I could only determine to be concern. I could feel heat radiating from my neck, and my mouth was dry. I knew I needed to say something, so I swallowed and prayed I could get this out without losing my temper.

 

“I want you to know that everything she said to you was a lie. I have done nothing but be honest with you ever since - ever since our first night together. My god, Tom, I - “ I wanted to tell him how I felt, how much I loved him, and how much his friendship meant to me. But not here, not in the bathroom of the green room, not under these circumstances. That would only make matters worse. It would look like there was truth to what she had said, and that I was trying to save my skin out of guilt. My lower lip trembled with anger and the deepest sorrow I had felt in a long time. I wanted very much for him to take me in his arms, and make all of his doubt and suspicions go away. I cleared my throat and started again. “Tom, I want - oh Christ, I - I can’t. If you’ll excuse me?” I said as professionally and quickly as I could, and I left the bathroom and went back into the main suite, looking for Brian. He was nowhere to be found. I could hear “Burn” playing loudly in the background, so I went out on the balcony of the suite to cool off and text Brian. Thankfully the balcony only had a few of the smoking actors at one end, and they were busy chatting loudly, so I had some relative privacy as I texted Brian. “I need to speak with you immediately about Julie. Meet me at my room as soon as you can, and bring that bitch with you.” I hit send and slid my phone back into my purse. I walked to the edge of the balcony, looking out on the city. The lights twinkled in the distance, same as on any other night. I had to calm down long enough to exit the party room and get back to my room. I dreaded walking through that room, not knowing how many of the actors in there knew about Julie’s lies and had believed her. I was hurt and embarrassed and felt as if my entire world was crumbling down around me. The look on Tom’s face as I left the bathroom broke something inside me. Despite all the time we had spent together, and all the things we had shared, Julie had taken all of that and shredded it with her finely lacquered nails. She had destroyed any chance of trust with Tom. I took a deep breath of the cool night air, left the green room, and headed to my hotel room.


	17. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter XVII

As I walked down the hall to my room, I noticed Tom was ahead of me, walking slowly with his hands deep in his pockets and rounding the corner of the elevators, alone. I followed him, but didn’t alert him to my presence. He was on his way back to his room. At least I would know where he was. I went into my room, not slamming my door this time, even though I very much wanted to, and checked my phone. Brian had responded, “I’ll see if I can find her, are you alright?” I snorted as I read his message and slipped out of my shoes, kicking them into my closet. I threw my purse on the other bed and responded to his text. “No, I’m pissed and I want to talk with you and Julie, and it needs to happen ASAP. Find her.” I hit send.

I looked longingly at the door between our rooms, and I was thankful for once that it was shut. I didn’t think I could see Tom right now. I needed this problem fixed, and I hoped it would be resolved peaceably. Either she or I would be leaving this hotel tonight, and at this point I didn’t know who it would be. I knew he was in there, and I also knew after I informed Brian of what Julie had said to him, I would need to speak with him, and then who knew what would happen. Either I would leave or I would stay. The humiliation would be too much for me to deal with, on top of potentially losing Tom. That is to say if I had him in the first place. Julie had succeeded in embarrassing and humiliating me this evening, and I had no idea where I stood in this industry. And who else had she said any of this garbage to? Julie travelled all over the country and had a lot of friends and contacts. I was good at what I did, and she knew it, and it burned her ass. I had had it with her Mean Girls attitude about all this, and I looked forward to having this end, one way or the other.

I turned at the loud knock on my door and took a deep breath. Brian stood outside my door, alone. I motioned him inside, and he came in, looking worried. “What's going on? Are you alright?” He asked, coming into the room and standing between the two beds.

“No, I’m not ok, Brian. And where is Julie? Couldn’t you find her?” I asked, shutting the door behind him.

“No, she’s not in either of the suites. I texted her, but no answer yet. What the hell is going on?” Brian asked. For being as tired as I could clearly tell he was, he was really worried. Good. 

“Well, it seems everyone’s favorite handler had a little chat with Tom while you and I were out on the balcony. She asked him a bunch of questions and wanted to know how I was doing. Bless Tom, he didn’t tell her much. And because he didn’t tell her much of anything, other than I was doing a great job, she proceeded to tell him - holy shit, Brian, she told him that I made a habit of sleeping with my actors and then blackmailed them if they didn’t –“ I choked up. I was angry; I didn’t know if I could continue telling him this. I cleared my throat and continued. “He said he didn’t believe it, but dammit, I don’t think I have his trust anymore because of her. And if she told him this, how many other people has she told? How many other promoters has she lied to about me? She said other actors knew this. I’ve never - oh god, Brian. You and I have known each other for a long time; I’ve never done anything like that, ever.”

Brian sat down heavily on one of my beds and ran his hand through his hair. There was certainly a lot of that tonight. “Christ, are you serious?” He finally asked.

I nodded, wrapping my arms around myself as I began to pace. “Brian, you know me. I wouldn’t do anything like that, ever! I take my job very seriously, and now - now Tom may think that’s what I’m up to.” I paused, choking on the words I wanted to come out. Brian had to be kept in the dark about my relations with Tom. I cleared my throat of my anger, continuing. “Julie name dropped with him and begged him to be his personal handler whenever he comes to the states. That’s why she said those horrible things about me, it has to be. Her jealousy has made her ass desperate, and now she’s ruined me. Oh my GOD, this is so fucking stupid!”

Brian perked up at this. His eyes were wide as he listened. “Wait, what? She asked him what - are you for real?”

I stopped pacing and stood in front of him. “Brian, Tom may not trust me now and I’m not sure what to do. He may not want to work with me for the rest of the weekend. Do I stay or do I go? I’m not going to be the cause of your show being ruined; I won’t do that to you -“ I finally broke. I was shaking with anger and fury, and I refused to let myself cry. Julie had questioned and challenged my integrity with a guest, and made me feel like I couldn’t work in this business again; all to get to Tom. This was all I had; my one source of happiness, and she had sabotaged it with her conniving tongue. Brian got up from the bed and wrapped his arms around me and held me. He and I were the same height; it wasn’t the same as when Tom held me. The thought of being in Tom’s arms, and the chance that she had stripped that away from me, made me feel lost and hollow and incredibly pissed.

“You aren’t going anywhere, Rebecca. You are the best in this business, kiddo, and you are one of my oldest friends. I won’t let her get away with this. To hell with what she says. Most of the guests at this damned convention know she’s full of shit, and I’ll bet you dollars to donuts she’s lying about anyone knowing any of that bullshit she told Tom. And I’m sure he doesn’t believe a word she says, either; the man isn’t stupid. Let’s go find Tom and get this sorted. I’ll take care of Julie, honey. She’ll be out on her ass within the hour, ok?” Brian said, comforting me. I breathed in and out heavily, trying to calm the hell down. I pulled away from him and took another deep breath; I had to hold it together, for everyone’s sake. He held my shoulders and smiled at me. “Don’t you worry, I’m on it. Is Tom still in the green room?”

“No, he’s in his room,” I said, waving at our shared door and reaching a point of shaky calm.

“Good, let’s pop over and have a chat with him, shall we?” Brian said, smiling to cheer me up. I nodded and took a deep breath, wrapping my arms around myself. I walked over to our door and opened it. Luckily, his door was still open on his side, and Brian and I entered his suite. As I walked in, I froze. Sitting on the couch with Tom, was Julie. How convenient…

Julie’s head turned, hearing our entrance, and as she realized who had arrived, the clever smile on her face froze. I saw Tom’s face light up briefly as we entered, and he stood up and walked towards one of the overstuffed chairs. I watched him back away from Julie and tried to keep my face emotionless. All the nasty things I wanted to say to her stuck in my throat. I couldn’t lose my temper at her in front of Tom. I would look childish and foolish, and I would be damned if I did that. I desperately wanted him to know that even now, in this ridiculous and unnecessary drama, I could keep my cool, even though I wanted to rail at her. I shoved away all of my anger and turned to Brian, waiting for him to say something.

Julie beat him to it. “Hey, Bri, what are you up to? Shouldn’t you be off somewhere, putting out a fire?” She asked, her question directed at Brian, her voice cheerful and light, but with a twinge of suspicion. I stared at her, and she blanched as she looked back at me.

“I’m glad that you and Tom are both here; I think there is something that needs to be addressed, if you don’t mind,” Brian said, coming around from behind me and walking to stand in front of her. Julie stared up at him, her eyes wide, and a menacing smile spreading slowly on her very red lips.

“Of course, Brian, honey, anything for you,” Julie said; her fake smile was wide and strained. I glanced at Tom, and he was watching me, his blue eyes smoldering; he looked upset. His look alarmed me; I didn’t know of it was directed at me or the situation. I hated doubting myself, and him. This added to my mounting frustration, and I took a step forward towards the seating area. I wanted Julie to see my face as Brian called her out on her bullshit.

“I was just speaking with Rebecca and she told me something very interesting, Julie; any idea what that might be?” Brian asked, watching her begin to squirm on the couch. 

“Well, Brian, honey, I’m not sure. Rebecca likes to say a lot of things; I couldn’t begin to guess. What did Rebecca tell you?” Julie asked, her voice back to its normal squeaky timbre and dripping with sarcasm. She cut her eyes at me and smirked.

“It seems you had quite the chat with Mr. Hiddleston here, and told him a few things about our Rebecca. Something about her reputation of fucking around with the actors that she handled, and blackmailing them? And, it also seems that you shared how shocked you were, and how outraged you were that I had asked her to be his assistant for the weekend. Is this true?” Brian asked, his voice cool and smooth. 

Julie threw her head back and laughed. I wanted to walk up to her and slap her face. I didn’t dare look at Tom right now; I was seething. “Well, I’m not sure about all of that, but I can tell you with absolute certainty that I was, in fact, disappointed in your choice of my replacement,” Julie said, almost laughing, crossing her legs and swinging her foot back and forth in her glossy black heels. She stared at him, smirking and silent. This was a test of wills, and Julie was playing her part expertly. Brian stood in front of her and calmly waited for her to finally speak. “My god, Brian, do you not know how this works?” Julie asked suddenly, sitting back into the couch, her eyes shooting daggers up at him. Brian didn’t move. “How dare you even think for one moment that you can fuck with me? When I ask you for something, you do it. And for you to think that you can withhold Tom’s information from me? Vital information that I require, so that I may do my job to the best of my ability?! Don’t you know who I am, for fuck’s sake, Brian?! I can ruin you with a phone call, little man. Don’t test me.” She finished this little speech with a snap of her fingers under his nose.

I could see Brian’s body vibrate with suppressed anger, and I inhaled quietly. Tom was right; her tenacity was unbelievable and worse than I had ever imagined. Julie crossed her other leg, her eyes narrowing and sliding over to Tom, devouring him with a look. Tom’s jaw was clenched, but his face was blank. I had seen this look before; he was either frightfully uncomfortable or unbelievably pissed.

“Julie, I’m not going to ask you again. And before you think you can bullshit me, I want you to think very carefully. You aren’t the only one that can make little phone calls. I may be a “little man” out here in the sticks, but godammit, I know a few people as well, and I can have you blacklisted at any Midwest convention I can get my story to. I can play this game too, sweetheart. Don’t. Tempt. Me,” Brian said through clenched teeth. Over the many years I had known him, I had never seen him get upset about anything. Brian had a reputation of always staying calm and laid back, even if his entire world was collapsing and on fire. But Julie was doing her damnedest to sabotage his show, and he was having none of it. They stared quietly at each other in another tense silence, neither of them giving the other an inch. She had to say something, and soon, and she knew it.

Julie’s eyes flared and her blood red lips pressed into an angry gash on her face. She looked angry and a little panicked. “I - I’m not sure what you’re talking about - “ She spat out finally, but was interrupted by Tom.

“Julie, please. Let’s not make this harder than it has to be. You pulled me into that room under false pretenses, making outlandish accusations of my handler that were unwarranted, unfounded, and completely false to serve your own interest. All of this after revealing to me that you had a fervent desire to become my personal and private handler at American events. And after I had informed you of the inappropriateness of our conversation, you shared some highly offensive information about Rebecca. Please, tell Brian the truth.” Tom’s voice was smooth and emotionless as he spoke. My clenched heart swelled when I heard what he had to say. He was defending me. My eyes shifted to his briefly. Maybe he believed me. I tried not to let my hope soar too high. We still needed to get this worked out, and I still didn’t know if I would be staying or leaving.

Julie uncrossed her legs and stood up slowly in front of Brian, her eyes never leaving his. She was flushed red with fury all the way down her neck and into her very ample cleavage. For a moment, I thought she might slap the hell out of Brian. “Well, I see that perhaps some things I said might have been taken out of context. I was merely - “

“No. I don’t think anything was taken out of context at all, Julie. I have two people telling me the exact same thing, one of them a treasured guest at my event, and the other an old and close friend of mine that I would trust with my life. Now, what exactly did you say to Mr. Hiddleston?” Brian asked quietly. He had gotten a handle on his anger, and was back to my calm and collected Brian. 

Julie’s nostrils flared and her hands were in tiny fists. “Perhaps I said something to that effect, maybe. But you don’t get it, Brian! You don’t put someone like her with someone like Tom!” She pointed at me as she screeched, and I thought she might even stomp her foot with her tantrum. “You are an idiot and a fool. You have no idea what you have DONE!!” Julie said, her volume increasing with each thing that came out of her mouth.

Brian watched Julie as she stood in front of him, shaking with her anger. “I may be a fool, but I’m not an idiot. I was a fool to allow you into my event and turn a blind eye to your constant bullshit. But when you come in here and make accusations against someone I love and trust more than anyone here, I won't have it. I won’t allow it. Not anymore.” He moved away from her and walked casually to the door of Tom’s room, opening it. “Out. You get your things, and you leave my event. You are not welcome here anymore. I don’t care who you call or who you whine to about this; you need to leave, and you need to leave now. I will not have someone here causing this kind of disharmony. And if I have to, I will get security to escort your ass out of this hotel. Do you understand?” Brian said and motioned to her to follow him. 

Julie turned from him and stared at me. Her face transformed from fury to hilarity, and she smiled wickedly at me. She reached down and gathered her purse, pulling the strap over her shoulder, laughing quietly to herself. As she walked past me, she smiled sweetly and paused. “This isn’t over. Everyone knows what you are and what you do, and they believe me. You won’t work ever again. I’ll make sure of that, honey. You mark my words.” She said this so politely, it unnerved me.

I just looked at her. Her over the top make up, the provocative clothing, and her infamous clouds of perfume. Julie was getting older and compensating for it badly. I was furious with her, but as I looked at her in these brief moments, I felt a sense of pity. Julie’s time was ticking away, and she was desperate to hold on to it. And she’d do anything to keep her position in this community. What made it pitiful was that she honestly believed her own lies. I frowned at her and said, “Go.”

She laughed quietly to herself again and walked towards Brian. As she passed Tom, she looked at him, her face still the smiling facade of crazy, and said nothing. Brian and Julie left and closed the door behind them.


	18. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter XVIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This next part is trigger heavy, and I want to apologize in advance for this. However, I did this on purpose, and it will make sense after you read it. 
> 
> Triggers include violence, implied sexual threat, manhandling, and harsh language.

His room was quiet as he watched me. I couldn’t move. I didn’t know if I could go to him or not, so I stood stock still, drawing shapes on the back of the overstuffed chair. I didn’t know if I should run and apologize for the drama, but if he didn’t want me around anymore, would it matter? I was glad it was over, but I still didn’t know if Tom trusted me anymore. He said he didn’t believe her, but once you cast doubt onto something, it was hard to be completely rid of it.

“Do you believe her?” I asked suddenly surprising myself. I had gathered up as much courage as I had left. I wanted to know. All the things Julie had accused me of were most likely things she had done herself, which made sense to cast off suspicion on to someone else so you were pure and blameless. And she knew I always kept my relationships with my talent professional. She also knew it would ruin me not only professionally, but emotionally as well. Then there was Tom. He was the exception, in more ways than one. I had broken all of my rules with him. Every ideal and expectation I held up for myself was blown away by the one person that I probably should have never handled. Tom was my kryptonite, and I knew this going into this weekend. And I thought I had it all together, and it would be no big deal. I was so wrong.

He looked at me, and his face betrayed nothing. Godammit, he was a good actor... I felt a twinge of panic and an urge to run away, but I stood my ground. I had no idea what was going through his mind. I was thinking up some pretty horrific things when he finally took a deep breath and spoke. “I want you to tell me something, and I want you to be honest with me. Was there any shred of truth of what that woman said?” Tom asked. His voice was deep and rich, with no hint of his normal cheerfulness.

My eyes narrowed. “You are answering my question with another question?” I asked. I felt like he should have known; we had spent the last few days together talking and laughing and sharing each other’s secrets. But that was the point, wasn’t it? We had only known each other a handful of days; he didn’t know me, not who I really was. And it could have all been a sick and twisted charade on my part. I could have been some master manipulator and lied to his face about everything. Because he was Tom effing Hiddleston, I would have the prestige of telling everyone on my Tumblr about my latest triumph and most successful notch on my belt. My god, irony? My stomach turned with that revelation.

Tom cleared his throat. “Please answer me. I will not be asking you again.” The timbre of his voice was startling, bordering on his own anger. Well, could I blame the man? In his mind, he may think I was no better than Julie. That I had been sneaky in my research, finding out secretly that he was coming to the event, and instead of going Julie’s route, being clever and playing the part of the innocent adoring fan. God, he must think me a fantastic actress... It made me sick to think about it; sick to think he may be thinking that’s who I really was. And the man deserved an answer.

“No,” I said, my voice smooth and even.

Tom dropped his hands to his side and took another deep breath. I stood and watched him, my body still and unmoving. My blood raced through my veins like ice water; embarrassment, nervousness, unleashed fury, and shame running through me, and I stood there, completely numb. I wanted to separate myself from what I felt; it was my only defense. But I was failing. 

“You didn’t say anything to defend yourself tonight. Why is that?” he asked, his head cocked to the side with his question. Tom’s question caught me off guard and I had to think. Why hadn’t I stood up for myself, instead choosing Brian to do the talking for me? I was mad enough at the time, and I had a lot I wanted to say to her, but when faced with the situation, I said nothing. Seeing Tom standing where he was now, the look of disappointment on his face; I knew the answer. I didn’t want to say anything to embarrass myself or make myself look like a shrieking shrew. The truth was I stayed silent so I could save face, only to save a tiny shred of the genteel breeding that my parents had raised me with. Say nothing, accept everything, take all the negativity and bury it, it doesn’t matter what you think, your opinion doesn’t matter. My parents made sure I was their proper little lady at all times; always happy, always forgiving, always of service, and any objections must always be silenced. They did their job well. I shrugged my answer at Tom, again saying nothing. 

Tom took another deep breath and let it out quickly; I could feel his frustration rising. Knowing this, that I had caused his discomfort, and possible rage towards me, sent my emotions scurrying back into their hidey holes. I had to say something; anything to keep him from being upset. “I - I didn’t want to...I didn’t want to lose my temper,” I said, lamely. It was a stupid answer to his question and I knew it. 

Exasperated, Tom walked the short distance to where I was standing by the other overstuffed chair and reached out to me, gripping my shoulders tightly. “Rebecca, you had every right to confront her and, by god, lose your temper. Why didn’t you? Do you think you would have insulted me or embarrassed yourself? Why didn’t you stand up for yourself?! What happened to my sexy and confident Rebecca who wouldn’t take shit from anyone? Christ, woman! That shriveling shell was not the Rebecca I’ve come to know, or come to fall -” He stopped speaking, the last word faltering, his mouth snapping shut and his eyes going very wide. He looked down at me and blinked. Whoa whoa whoa, back up a second...what? I looked up at him, my own eyes going wide. He had my full attention.

Tom swallowed nervously, his fingers gripping the flesh of my shoulders almost painfully. I didn’t care. Was he...did he almost say what I thought he was going to say? No way...no, not possible... Ok, I couldn’t think about that now. He looked on edge as it was; I wasn’t going to hound him for an explanation. Now was not the time.

I looked away from him, my gaze landing on the stairs leading up to his room. Damn, I wished we could just go up there and forget all of this mess. “I was embarrassed and hurt. I was worried about Brian and the show. And I was scared of what you thought of me -” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

Tom loosened the grip he had on my shoulders and cleared his throat. I felt horrible; I didn’t want this, and I sure as hell knew he didn’t want this. He pulled away from me, thrusting his hands deep into his pockets, and looked away. It was almost like he couldn’t look at me. And that would not do. 

I took a deep breath and turned to look at him. “My turn,” I said, my frustration making me brave. “Please answer my question. Do. You. Believe. HER?!” I said, my voice dripping with all of my anger and frustration. I KNEW I shouldn't have given into temptation; I shouldn’t have let my feelings for him consume me. I had been proud that I could keep my distance with any guest I handled, and with Tom, I had completely failed. I had allowed the fangirl to win, and now I was paying the price. 

Tom’s eyes rolled to me, saying nothing. He was staring at me so intently, I felt I would faint. I could see him pull his hands out of his pockets out of the corner of my eye, and he wrapped his arms around me; one arm around my waist and the other hand deep in my hair, crushing me slowly against his chest. My head inclined painfully back as we kept eye contact. I wanted to break free, and I had no idea of what his intentions were. Tom lowered his forehead to mine, continuing his stare deeply into me. I could feel tears pricking at the back of my eyes; I didn’t want him to see me cry.

“Tell me, please. Tom, my god - did you believe her?” I said in a choked whisper. He said nothing as he pulled me tighter to him. He breathed sharply through his nose, a quick in and out. I didn’t know if it was from anger or something else. I could feel the breath in my lungs constrict as I waited. His eyes shifted back and forth as he stared at me, his jaw clenched. For the first time in his presence, I was afraid of him.

“No. Like I had stated before, I didn’t think you could be capable of anything that vile.” His words were calculated and deliberate, and his intensity didn’t waiver. I felt relief wash over me; my eyes closed and I sighed deeply, my body relaxing in his arms. “However, it did occur to me for a moment that maybe, just maybe, she might have been right.”

My eyes snapped open at this. I pulled my arm loose from his hold and placed my palm on his chest. “Right about what? Oh, no -” I said, my head shaking back and forth. He tightened his grip around me and had me almost bent over backwards in his arms. I thought I would fall, but he held me tight.

“Are you sure? Are you absolutely sure about that, my love?” He asked. His breathing was coming deep and even. 

“I’m absolutely sure,” I answered. I was scared as hell, but I wasn’t going to allow him to intimidate me. I pushed back against him. I was getting angry. “And if you don’t believe me, then you don’t. I can't control how you feel, Mr. Hiddleston. I can only tell you the truth; it’s up to you whether you take my word or Julie’s,” I said as boldly as I could. “I’ve done nothing but be honest with you from the beginning. I can only hope that you know that. Now, if you don’t mind, you are squishing me. Can you please let me go?”

Tom kept his hold on me, his eyes boring into me, and his forehead pressing painfully into mine. Suddenly, I could see something behind his eyes snap, and he began to shake as his arms tightened around me. Now he was truly scaring me. 

“No, I’m not letting go of you,” he said through clenched teeth. My eyes widened and I felt a thrill of panic shoot through me. Tom’s eyes shifted from his cobalt blue to emerald, and his cheeks flushed and blotched red. His breath was coming in short pants as he loosened his grip around me and slid his strong hands to the tops of my shoulders and pushed. “There aren’t many people who I let into my heart. But you certainly sneaked in somehow,” he said, his lips curling around the words.

I gasped. My emotions simultaneously contradicted themselves, watching him change from hurt Tom to maniacal and furious Tom. And this new Tom was too close to my Loki, and my body reacted with desire and horror. I could feel tears prick behind my eyes as we stared at the other, his hands pushing painfully on my shoulders. I fought to stay on my feet, my hands gripping his back to stay upright.

“Kneel!!” He shouted; his mouth was moist with his anger, and his teeth gnashed. He was so much stronger than I was, and I couldn’t hold on for long. I felt my knees give way, and I was pushed onto my knees, my hands sliding down the backs of his thighs as the carpet dug into my knees painfully. As he got me where he wanted me, his hands moved to my hair, sliding his fingers through my locks and gripping them as he had a few nights before, and the irony was truly not lost on me. But this was a shade of terror I thought I would never experience with Tom. 

“Is this not what you want? Is this not your natural state?” Tom asked, his voice gritty and raw. He was shaking now, his face a mask of hate I had only ever seen in his performances. But this was no performance. This malevolence was all for me. He slipped one of his hands away from me, reached for his belt buckle, and began to undo the clasp, all the while holding me fast to the floor. “To be ever of service, to be ever accommodating. You come to me as a friend, as my lover, for what!?” Tom spat my own thoughts at me as he whipped the belt through his loops and began to unbutton his trousers. My face was positioned a few inches from him, my head being pulled back painfully to look up at him as he spoke. “Is this not what you want? Is this not what all of you want? To play the whore to get a piece of the rockstar? Is this not what you WANT!?!” He yelled, working open his trousers. My tears finally erupted, and I unwrapped my arms from him. I slid them to his hips and hooked my shaking fingers into his waistband, keeping him from unleashing himself on me. My lower lip wobbled as I looked up at him, and something inside me broke free.

“Dear god, Tom! Not like this! Never like this!” I screamed. He had pulled what he knew was the most desirous thing to me and twisted it into a dark reality that I didn’t want to face. I wasn’t in love with his characters anymore; I was in love with him. And he was pulling this out of himself and forcing me to face a darker side of him that I did not like.

“Always like this! Do you know how many countless women do their damnedest to get close to me?! I am not who you see on screen, but that’s not what any of you want! All of you lie and seduce in the service of your own selfish desires. Every one of you pretend to be the gentle and coy temptress, to prey on my good nature, to fill some dark void you have within you! And for what?! Your world is out of balance, and here you are before me, on your knees, begging for what?! Forgiveness??!! IS THIS NOT WHAT YOU WANT!!??” He yelled. Tom’s eyes were rimmed with unshed tears as he trembled. Christ, was he monologuing at me? His grip loosened in my hair, and I took this opportunity to pull free from him. I got my feet under me and stood up slowly to face him. We were both shaking and flushed, and our tears mingled with hurt and confusion. 

“I never lied to you! Everything I have, everything that I feel, I have been honest with you from the beginning!” I said through my tears. I placed my hands tentatively on his chest, my fingers gripping and wrinkling the fabric of his waistcoat and beautiful dress shirt. I could feel his heart beating fast and heavy, and I moved closer to him. His hand never left my hair; his grip loosened, and he was cradling the back of my head, his fingers tense and trembling. “Tom. That’s not who I am. I do not whore myself to famous people just to get close to them. I have too much respect for them. My god, I have too much respect for you!” I took a deep breath. I could feel myself settling down as I spoke. Tom didn’t move. His eyes were watery and the flush in his cheeks had subsided. I continued. “I didn’t plan on any of this. I didn’t plan on meeting you this weekend. And for what it’s worth, I never planned on ever meeting you, let alone sleeping with you. I would never try to get close to you like that! I don’t know who you are talking about, but that isn’t me. My god, I didn’t ask for any of this, but here we are. And all the things that Julie has said has done nothing but ruin whatever this thing is that you and I have. Julie is a warped and twisted woman who will say anything she can to get what she wants. And this...THIS is what she wants!” I felt brave enough to slide my hands around his neck as we each watched the other one. I laced my fingers behind his neck, my thumbs stroking the smooth skin of his moist neck. He had calmed down significantly and his breathing had now become deep and even again as I spoke. “She wants you to hate me. And if you hate me now, then she wins. Tom, you are my exception. I have broken so many of my rules with you, but dammit. I can’t help how I feel, or how you make me feel. I know I can’t make you believe me; you have to make that decision on your own. If you can’t stand the sight of me, fine. Then send me away and have Brian get someone else for the rest of the weekend. And I will leave gladly. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable or have to deal with me any longer if that is your choice. Of course, I could be lying about all of this, and you may think I’m just trying to manipulate you, and if that is the case, then I hope you do send me away. I couldn’t bear it if that’s what you thought of me, but so be it. I can’t control how you feel about me. I know what the truth is inside of me.”

Tom continued looking at me, but he loosened his grip further from my hair. He slid his hands to my cheeks, cupping my face gently, his hands still trembling. The intensity of the previous few moments slowly evaporated between us and confused the hell out of me. All of this back and forth with conflicting emotions was giving me a headache, and I wished all of this nonsense would just stop, and I cursed Julie in my head for the umpteenth time at this event.

“Rebecca, I – I’ve just…oh god.” Tom swallowed and blinked, his eyes clearing, “So many times, so many have tried so desperately to…” His voice trailed off and he swallowed. 

I nodded. I understood. I had seen all of the stupid Twitter accounts created by selfish individuals that he trustingly added as a friend, not knowing how he was being deceived. He must have felt so foolish, thinking only the good in people. I smiled sadly; his high faith in humanity had burned him so many times, so it was no wonder he was quick to believe Julie. Damn her.

“Tom, I hope -” I started, my voice choking on what I wanted to say. I didn’t want to break down again. I felt this was not the time. I didn’t want him swayed by any more girly tears. I wanted him to hear my words and believe me. And I needed to make it as simple and plain as I could. I pulled all of the strength I had left in me and made a decision. I cleared my throat. “Tom, I have something to tell you, I -”

His lips were on mine before I could finish my sentence. I was shocked at this. I decided not to think, feeling his lips on mine, and I reciprocated by tightening my fingers in his hair and pulling him closer to me. It was our first kiss since before dinner, the one I was to hold onto through the course of the evening. God, had it been that long ago? So many things had changed and rearranged in my life since then, and it felt like a million years ago. I returned his kiss, taking his bottom lip in between my teeth and biting down. Tom growled low in his throat, his thumbs pressing into my cheek bones, his fingertips pushing into the back of my neck. He deepened our kiss, his tongue slipping deep into my mouth and taking my breath away. All of my fear and anxiety were blown to smithereens with his kiss, and I pulled him even closer, crushing myself tightly against him and wrapping my arms around his neck.

Tom’s hands slipped from my face to my waist, and he wrapped them strongly around me once again. I could feel myself being lifted up, and I immediately circled my legs around his hips as he walked the two of us to the couch. He sat down, my knees straddling his hips on either side, our mouths open and our tongues sliding and tangling against the other. All of the stress and anger and fright from moments before had been broken down and reconstructed and fueled a sudden animal desire in me that I was blind with lust for him, and I need to have him inside of me, and I needed him now. And as I sat on his lap, I could feel that he, too, was absolutely ready to accommodate me. 

Tom slid his hands roughly along the outside of my thighs, shoving my skirt high around my hips. Our mouths never left the other as I unbuttoned his shirt and waistcoat and began pulling and yanking his trousers open to let his cock free. I broke away from our kiss as I leaned up on my knees, and unhooked my bra, letting my breasts free and shoving them towards his waiting lips. His teeth bit and grazed my skin, and I cried out as I could feel his fingers slide along my ass and shove the fabric of my undies to the side. His fingers slid deep within me, and my head dropped back as my eyes closed and I moaned. Always wet, always ready, and always of service. Tom groaned, pleased to see I was, yet again, ready for him as he slipped his fingers deep inside me over and over.

I was dizzy with violent desire as I pulled my head back up and rested it against his forehead. His mouth was open and his eyes were narrowed, and he tipped his chin up towards me as I slid my tongue into his mouth as our lips met in a deep and frenzied kiss, our lips and teeth crashing against the other. Tom had shifted one of his hands away from me, and I could feel him grab his cock, sliding the tip against my entrance. I bit his lip again as he kissed me, and I slid down on top of him, filling myself quickly as far as he could go. Tom wrapped his hands around my hips as I parted my knees even wider, sinking down even farther onto him. I gasped into his mouth as he moaned into mine, our eyes watching the other. I didn’t move. My breath was shallow and shaky as I slowly rocked my hips forward towards him, moving him deep within me. Tom pushed his head back into the cushion of the couch, his brows furrowing and his mouth opening in a soft O. I slid my hands to his bare chest, my nails digging into the flesh above his breast as I rocked slowly on him. I watched his face as I worked myself on him; his eyes fluttered closed and he bit his lower lip. Seeing his rapture, I could feel myself getting even wetter, and I raked my nails down his chest and over his nipples. He gasped, his beautiful blue eyes flying open as he thrust deeper inside me. I rolled my hips against him, and for the first time in my life, I could feel an orgasm I had never felt before building strongly and deeply within me. My breath came faster as my hips increased their speed, and his hands slid to my breasts, covering them with his warm palms, his long fingers squeezing hard into my flesh. My nipples hardened under his hands, and I arched my back, my hands bracing myself on his knees. I continued to move on him, my hips thrusting shamelessly towards him. My head fell back as I rocked against him, and the deep orgasm that had been building deep within me exploded through my body. I cried out, my nails digging deep into his knees. He slid his hands from my breasts and sat up, his hands sliding up through my hair and cradling my head, holding on to me as I came harder than ever in my entire life. I felt my orgasm quake violently through all my limbs, causing me simultaneously to shake with heat and ice. I went limp, all of my extremities numb and weak. Tom pulled me towards him and my forehead rested against his as he slid his hands onto my hips once more. Unable to move, he held my hips steady as he began to thrust and slide inside me. I could feel myself still pulsing around him as he slid rapidly in and out of me, and I felt like I was going to pass out. Tom growled low in his throat as he thrust inside me with quick, even strokes. My hips didn’t move as he held me fast, his thrusting becoming faster and deeper inside me. His lips found mine as he thrust one last time, his cock burying deep within me as his tongue did the same to my mouth. He moaned into my mouth as his orgasm pulsed within me, his fingers pressing strongly into the flesh of my hips. 

I ended our kiss and slumped against him, his hands relaxing and wrapping around my waist as his breathing slowed back to normal. I had no idea what had just happened or what it meant, but at the moment, with the feeling slowly coming back to my body, and the two of us wrapped around the other, I didn’t care. Tom wasn’t going to send me away; I knew this now. I just hoped he believed me. We sat together quietly, neither of us moving, the sound of our heaving breaths gradually slowing back to normal. I had never done anything like this before, and I was both confused and at absolute peace. My god, this was a weird weekend…

Tom slowly pulled away from me, his hands sliding up to my flushed cheeks as he turned my face to his. “I’m so sorry I ever doubted you. I just - I just didn’t know, and I should have known better, my love. Please forgive me?” He whispered, his voice rough and strained. I smiled shyly, exasperated that it was Tom asking for forgiveness, and relieved that with his admission, I knew in my heart that he believed in me. 

“Of course. If you need me to forgive you, then I do. But Tom, there is nothing to forgive. You and I have done nothing wrong. This is Julie’s fault, not ours,” I whispered. And I meant it. 

Tom’s hands were still cupping the sides of my face, and I covered his hands with my own. He smiled finally, his eyes closing and nodding his head against mine. I sighed and relaxed against him. I was still straddling him and he was still deep inside me, and there was no other place that I wanted to be in the world. It felt wonderful to be back on track, whatever this track was. I didn’t want to think about Julie anymore, and as I began to get my head back in order, it dawned on me that Tom and I had something we needed to discuss. I knew it was probably not the most appropriate time, what with us post coitus, but it was necessary if we were going to get on with our weekend

“Uh...I need to ask you something.” I had forgotten to mention to Tom about Brian’s earlier request, and I needed to ask if I should pack up my room tonight or wait. And I had no idea if Tom even knew. I suddenly felt very nervous and vulnerable. I didn’t know why. The thought of spending the next two nights together was amazing, but between the time Brian had discussed it with me, to right now, many things had happened to dampen what I needed to ask.

Tom lifted his head away from me and slid his hands to my shoulders. “You can ask me anything. I hope you know that.”

I smiled, happy that he felt that way. “Before all of the drama tonight, Brian asked me for a favor. It seems you will be on your own until your flight leaves on Tuesday, and he asked me if I’d like to stay on and keep you company. Would you - would you like for me to stay?” I asked shyly. 

Tom rolled his eyes up to the ceiling and smiled, pulling me to him. I rested my other hand on his chest and looked down at him. “Of course I do. I was the one who asked him.” He looked at me and rested his forehead against mine again. “I want to spend my last days with you, Rebecca. I want to spend as much time with you before I have to leave.”

The brutal truth of his eventual departure stung like mad, and I pushed that thought off into a dark corner. I had around sixty hours left with him, and I didn’t want any more drama or bullshit to ruin it. “I, uh - I needed to know if I should go ahead and book my room through Monday night or -”

Tom shook his head and interrupted me. “No, you go pack your things. I want all of you in my room tonight.” 

My breath hitched and I grinned, pleased again. It was a relief to be back to normal with him; well, as normal as it was for plain old me to be sitting scandalously on top of Tom Hiddleston, discussing moving in with him. Oooh...now that was a fantastically wicked thought. “So, does this mean we are moving in together?” I asked, smiling innocently. I wiggled on his lap and felt his cock twitch inside me. I knew it was a cheeky question, and I was only half serious. Well, mostly serious. To be honest, I was dead serious.

Tom narrowed his eyes at me, a smile threatening to erupt on his face at any moment. “Well, my love, we are for as much time as we have left. Now go, get your things and hurry.” He kissed my sweaty forehead and lift me off of him. I stood, pulling down my blouse and skirt, and left him on the couch as I went into my room to pack.

As I walked towards my bathroom to begin gathering my toiletries, I felt a warm wetness between my legs. I stopped in the doorway of the bathroom and my eyes flew open wide. In the heat of the moment, we had forgotten to use a condom, and our negligence was oozing slowly out of me. I was conflicted. I was tickled that he had reached a point of familiarity with me that he felt it was safe not to use one with me, but I was also alarmed that there was the possibility of a surprise side effect that we would discover after one of my missed monthly’s. I was on the pill to regulate myself, so there was no worry on my side, but did that thought even occur to him? Did he care? I had no idea. Most likely it hadn’t occurred to him, and I had to not over think this. I went and did my post-coitus housekeeping and decided to think about all of that later. I had to get my things organized and out of this room.

I packed my room in record time. I threw all of my dirty clothes in my laundry bag and shoved this in my suitcase, along with all my shoes. I tossed all my toiletries into my messenger bag and did a quick walkthrough to make sure I had everything. After clearing my room, I pulled out a ten from my wallet and left this on my pillow for housekeeping, thanking them with a brief note for their service, and left my room laden with all my bags and my carry-on. I closed the door behind me, and shut his door and locked it. As I turned the lock, I breathed deeply, turning and looking around at his suite. Tom was not on the lower level, so I trudged up the stairs to unload all of my stuff. Tom was in his bathroom with the door closed, so I un-assed all my stuff near the wall of the balcony. It was quiet in his room, and I sat on his bed, taking all of this in. I couldn’t believe it; I was here, in his room, and I would be staying with him until he left. I felt like I wanted to scream, but I wasn’t sure that would be appropriate. 

I jumped as Tom came out of his bathroom. “Hey, I’ve got an idea.”

I looked up at him and laughed. “Wait, like your idea the other night?”

He closed his eyes and grinned. “No, why don’t you change into something comfortable, and we go back to the green room for a drink and some fun. What do you say?”

I blinked, alarmed. I didn’t know if I wanted to go back in that room, especially with what Julie may or may not have said. I had no idea what kind of fallout there would be, and I suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable. Tom must have sensed my trepidation. He walked over to the bed and reached for my hand, his fingers twining with mine. “I think we should. I think it will be the right decision, love. Even if she said or did anything, show them you aren’t scared, and show her for the liar she is, and that she didn’t beat you at her sick game.”

He was right. I needed to get back into the public and as quick as possible. I needed to know if anything had happened. I saw his wisdom and I nodded. I hopped off the bed, went to my secondary bag that held the rest of my clean clothes and dug some things out to wear, and then walked to his bathroom. I stripped off my blouse and skirt and changed into my rather large Loki Charms shirt and a pair of Avengers PJ bottoms. They had pockets in them to hold my phone and were comfortably baggy as hell. I washed my face and brushed out my hair, pulling it back in a low ponytail. I slipped into my mary jane’s and found some courage to check my phone for any missed messages. There was one text from Brian that read, “It’s taken care of, kiddo, and Julie is gone. I’ll talk to you about it more tomorrow; get some rest.” I sighed with relief. Thank god I wouldn’t be encountering her in the green room. As I put my phone in my pocket and left the bathroom, I saw Tom lounging on his bed, his ankles crossed. He had removed his waistcoat but was still in his gorgeous blue lavender dress shirt and black trousers. He got up off the bed, took one look at me, and burst out laughing, throwing back his head and clapping his hands. Startled, I looked around, not sure I knew what his issue was.

He recovered a bit, his face pink with mirth, and walked over to me, still eheheheing at me and wrapping me in his arms. He kissed the top of my head, getting a grip finally. “Oh, my beautiful love, tell me this is the last of your famous Loki shirts.” Oh, for Pete’s sake...again with my shirts.

“I’ll have you know, good sir, all of the Avengers are represented, not just you, you vain creature,” I said, tickling his ribs. He jerked away and folded his arms in front of him out of defense, laughing at me again.

“Oh ho ho...Now I see all of them. Well, well, well, Earth’s mightiest heroes, scattered…all over your pajama bottoms,” he said in his wicked Loki voice. I tried not to fangirl. Dammit... He took me in his arms again, looking down at me, his eyes glittering and menacing. “Doesn’t matter, I’m the one covering your heart, now aren’t I, my love?”

I stopped breathing, and for a moment, I couldn’t speak. I looked up into his very blue eyes as he watched me, his face transforming from Loki back to my Tom, and I blinked. I cleared my throat. “Yes - yes, Tom. You are.”

He closed his eyes and smiled, lowering his forehead to my own. “Quite right. Are you ready to go?”

I nodded and we went back to the green room.


	19. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter XIX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 27 – New Order – True Faith http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzeNAUOp17c  
> 28 – New Order – Blue Monday http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwupfdyXGfY

When we arrived, the rooms were packed with all the talent; “True Faith” was playing quite loudly and I smiled, knowing Brian must be in here and in charge of the music. All of the late night adult-only panels had let out, and the actors had come up to unwind, and by the decibel level, the fun was only beginning. Tom’s arrival was the icing on the cake, and he was met with loud shouts of welcome. He went over to the couch and took an open seat as I went to the bar. As soon as Matt saw me, he began mixing me a tequila sunrise, and poured Tom yet another Jameson, this time with a few cubes of ice. He winked as he handed me my cup and Tom’s glass, and I smiled at him in thanks. Scanning the room, I saw Brian was seated in the corner in a huddle with the co-directors, but when he saw me, his face lit up with happiness and surprise. Brian made some room for me, and I sat next to him after handing Tom his glass, putting my head on his shoulder. 

 

“I thought you would have gone to bed, kiddo. What are you doing up?” Brian asked, resting his head on top of mine. 

 

I sighed, taking a sip from my drink. “Tom wanted to come back and have some fun, so I decided to tag along with him.” I lifted my head and looked up at Brian. He nodded, wrapping an arm around my shoulders, squeezing me to him. He kissed my cheek, unexpectedly, and leaned in to whisper, “He’s a smart one, our Tom. I’m glad he dragged you out of your room.” 

 

I watched him, both surprised and unsurprised that Brian had guessed that my unexpected appearance back in the green room was Tom’s idea. “Oh, Brian, my dear friend, you know me too well sometimes,” I said, laughing quietly.

 

“Yes, I do. And we’ll talk about you-know-who tomorrow. Tonight, we drink!” He said, and with that, he finished the rest of his beer and reached to the floor for a fresh bottle.

 

Brian and I sat in our corner and chatted while watching the others drink and carouse. Tom had decided to introduce Fuzzy Duck to the rowdies, and they played more rounds than I could count. I did not participate, opting to nurse my drink and watch. Brian and I didn’t move from our seats; instead the co-directors, staff, and some of the guests took turns coming to sit with us to talk. I got to catch up with a few of the other directors and a handful of the anime voice actors. I kept watching for any suspicious behavior from anyone, but I saw none. After talking and laughing with many of the people that came to sit with Brian and myself, I decided that Julie’s threats must have been just a lot of smoke and mirrors; no one here treated me any differently than before. In fact, the atmosphere was noticeably lighter and more relaxed than when she was here earlier. That was something to think about. And perhaps I was right. Maybe she had concocted the whole story, pulling from her own devious actions and just changing the name and the face to mine to suit her needs. I was still wicked sore from what she had said about me, but it started to fade into pity as time ticked by, sitting with Brian as he joked with me. 

 

As I sat and socialized, sipping at my wonderfully tangy and sweet tequila sunrise, I kept stealing looks at Tom. He, in turn, would steal small, furtive glances my way as well. I tried to watch him as covertly as I could, and he had that polite and sweet gentlemanly smile for me, as always. He was a great actor, and had that eerie ability to hide his emotions from his face. Me, not so much, really. Through my exhaustion and the emotional roller coaster ride over the last few hours or so, I still burned for him. I tried not to look like I was ogling him, but watching him in a social setting, now playing Quarters with the other actors, it was a difficult task.

 

Tom’s game was winding down as the actors' volume had increased exponentially, when Stephanie suddenly burst into the room with her young actor friend in tow. She was wearing a tight pink Hello Kitty t-shirt and dark skinny jeans, teetering drunkenly on her ever present four inch platform heels. Spying Tom on the couch, she came to stand in front of him, pointing an accusatory finger in his face.

 

“You, sir! I challenge you to a dance off! Next door with you, old man! And let’s see if you still have what it takes to defeat me!” Stephanie said, her voice trailing off into intoxicated giggles. 

 

Seeing her, Tom threw back his head and laughed. “A challenge, on my life!” He stood up, grabbing his glass of whiskey and taking a sip. He excused himself from the game and came over to me, grabbing my hand and hauling me up to follow. I looked back at Brian, and he smiled and waved as I was tugged unceremoniously out of the room.

 

We went across to the video game room where DDR had been set up on one side of the room. The other side had a loud huddle of people playing multiplayer Halo. I sat on the couch, curling my legs under me, and prepared to witness Tom’s fancy dancing skills.

 

Stephanie’s young actor friend joined me on the couch to watch as well. He was what I would call darkly handsome; chiseled profile, flawless olive skin, with the faintest shadow of stubble, and almost black brown eyes. Not my type, but nice to look at; I could see why Stephanie was so smitten with him. I decided to introduce myself. Dmitri Largo shook my hand with a beautifully bright LA smile. Ah, I knew who he was now. He was a video game voice actor that did a lot of fill-in work on a lot of popular titles. He didn’t do a lot of conventions, and as we made polite small talk, I silently commended Brian on his eclectic guest choices for the year yet again. Dmitri was shy and polite, but had a devilish wit. And as we spoke, his eyes would wander hungrily to little Stephanie. I blinked at his open admiration of her, and I was glad I wasn’t on his radar. He’d eat me alive.

 

Stephanie had fired up the game, kicking off her heels to the side of the TV as “Blue Monday” came on, Dmitri and I both pausing our conversation and turning to watch. I covered my mouth to keep from laughing. Oh lord, I thought I’d never see this....

 

“Come on, old man; think you can keep up with me?” Stephanie asked, her eyes flashing at Tom as they both began to dance to the game.

 

“Old man? Really? You aren’t much younger than I, little one. You just see if you can keep up with me!” Tom said, laughing. I watched the screen; he had an impressive lead in points, and Stephanie kept doing her best to distract him. She would alternate between reaching over to pinch him, or shove him off balance, much to everyone’s amusement. Without her super high platform heels, she couldn’t be over five foot two inches tall. It was like watching siblings compete, and by the end of the song, and Tom’s epic victory, I decided I really liked Stephanie. She was poking him in the ribs, accusing him of cheating, and declaring a rematch as Tom laughed at her futile attempts of tickling him.

 

The two of them kept at it, and after a good thirty minutes, Stephanie had to admit defeat. Tom was apologetic, as expected, but enjoyed rubbing his victory in her face as politely as he could.

 

I checked the time on my phone, and it was fast approaching two in the morning. I had to get Tom back to his room and to sleep soon; he had another big day on Sunday. I stood up, stretching out the kinks in my back, and walked my empty cup over to the trash. After a few conciliatory hugs for Stephanie, and a promise of a rematch when they saw each other back in London, Tom and I made our good night rounds in the other room. I stood near the door and waited as he spoke with a few of the guests, exchanging numbers and open promises of future meetings or lunches, and waved his goodnight to Brian.

 

We walked slowly back to his room, being passed by a squealing and giggling Stephanie, riding piggyback on Dmitri as they ran down the hall to one of the other rooms. I watched them bounce down the other hall, happy that they could show their affection in public. I didn’t look at Tom as we turned in front of the elevators to take our own hall to our room. I didn’t want him to see my wistful look of longing at the two lovebirds. Once our door was shut and double locked, I could feel the weight of the day settle into my bones. I was exhausted. I could tell by the deep lines around Tom’s eyes that he was, as he would say, knackered, as well. After he shut off all the lights on the main floor, we trudged up the stairs to his sleeping area. I still had all of my luggage in a small pile on the floor, but I was too tired to deal with it tonight. Tom went to the bathroom, leaving the door open, and I sat heavily on the bed and set the alarm on my phone. I winced, seeing we would only get about six hours of sleep, once again. But it couldn’t be helped. I wanted a shower and a chance to look decent for tomorrow, which meant I needed to be up by eight am. Luckily, the first thing Tom had on his agenda was a guest brunch with some of the same con-goer’s that had attended the dinner this evening, so I didn’t have to phone down to room service and beg them to place an order. I opened my Drive on my phone and clicked on Sunday. Brunch until eleven am, then an hour long panel that would run straight after, autographs until one thirty, and then the charity auction if he wanted to attend at four pm, then lastly, closing ceremonies. I sighed and blinked tiredly. Only sixteen hours left of the convention, and then it would be just us until Tuesday. I didn’t want to think about Tuesday, or the eventual and painful drive to the airport to drop him off and out of my life forever. My stomach turned at the thought, and I was too tired to chase down that dark path of thought. I still had tomorrow night and all day Monday with him, and I decided I should focus on that instead.

 

Tom came out of his bathroom, his toothbrush hanging out of his face adorably. He beckoned for me to come follow him in. I got off the bed slowly, my back and feet protesting at moving again, when he popped back out again and pointed to my suitcase. Ah, my toiletries. I leaned over, grabbed my makeup bag and shampoos, and followed him into the bathroom. He had finished brushing his teeth and was rinsing as I leaned against the doorframe, watching him. It was the most mundane thing in the world, but here I was, watching Tom Hiddleston brush his teeth before bed like a good boy, and I was grinning tiredly like an idiot.

 

“I made room for you on the other side of the vanity for your things,” he said, wiping his face with his towel. I felt a pleased flush bloom on my cheeks as I walked over and put my makeup bag in the empty space on the left side of the sink vanity. I then opened the glass shower door to put my shampoo, my conditioner, and my body wash on the floor next to his. The domesticity of this situation did not escape me for one minute, and I tried to stop smiling like a fool. This was going to be interesting; I hadn’t shared space with someone for a few years, and now sharing a room with Tom? It was only for a tiny handful of days, but after being single for such a long time, I had gotten used to my own space. We would be alone together, and I chose to ignore my inner fangirl, who was squealing and rolling around with her feels. 

 

I took my nightly pills and left the bathroom, shutting off the light behind me. I caught a brief smile from him as he stood next to his side of the bed, unbuttoning his shirt to undress for sleep before I plunged him into darkness. I was half-tempted to turn the light back on to watch, but the weariness that sank deep into me kept me from it. I shuffled my way in the pitch black, and once my knees met the end of the bed, I crawled up the length, and pulled the covers back for us. I slipped between the sheets, my head sinking into one of his pillows, and I sighed heavily. Oh god, a bed had never felt so wonderful, I wanted to sleep immediately, but I waited for Tom to join me.

 

He finally finished, lifting the covers, sliding into bed and wrapping around me, his body flush and warm with exhaustion. I turned into his arms, kissing him gently on the lips, and then lowered my head to his shoulder and sank into nothingness.


	20. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter XX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a tiny bit of smut in this one…enjoy!
> 
> 29 – Eurythmics – Love Is A Stranger http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6f593X6rv8

I slept like the dead until I heard “Love Is a Stranger” begin on my alarm, and I knew I must have dozed off as soon as Tom crawled into bed. I groaned and reached for my phone, snoozing the music. I wasn’t in the mood this morning. I pulled the covers over my head, burrowing deeper into my pillow. I felt a strong arm slide along my waist and pull me close, a sleepy mumble behind me. 

 

My jostling must have disturbed him; I could feel Tom’s body begin to wake up slowly behind me. He slid his hand up my belly, over my breasts, and to my shoulder, turning me gently to face him. I arranged the covers over our heads as I turned over and looked up into his sleepy face in the dim light under our covers. His blue eyes were tired and haggard around the edges. Tom attempted a smile, the corners of his lips dragged down with sleep and exhaustion. “Boo,” he said, his voice gravelly from slumber. 

 

I took his hand in mine. “Boo back,” I said, clearing my throat. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to him, and my head rested against his shoulder. We lay together quietly, saying nothing. His chest rose up and down evenly with each breath, and I could hear his heart beating strongly against my ear. He was still blissfully warm from sleep, and I twined my legs through his and moved closer. 

 

“What do I have today, my love?” Tom asked quietly, breaking the silence of his room. I sighed as Tom pulled me even closer to him, his hand rubbing up and down my back.

 

“You have the guest brunch from nine to eleven, but you can arrive at any time, thankfully. Then you have a panel right after that. If you don’t mind, I’ll wait until both of us are awake enough to fill you in on the rest of your day?” I asked.

 

Tom chuckled and rubbed his face with his free hand. “Yes, and hopefully that will be sooner rather than later.” He reached for his own phone to check the time. It was after eight am, and we both needed to get a move on. We had an hour and a half to get ready, and if I didn’t get out of this bed soon, I didn’t know if my body would ever allow me out of it. My lower back and the bottoms of my feet thrummed and ached. He slid his phone back to his nightstand and turned to me with a sleepy smile. “Shower time, my lovely.” He kissed me on my forehead, and then exited on his side of the bed. My eyes popped open and I covered my mouth to stifle a surprised giggle as I watched him walk to the bathroom, naked as the day he was born. My god, I must have been exhausted not to notice that was next to me all night. I indulged myself, grinning like a fool, and watched this glorious lanky creature walk the rest of the way to the bathroom, turn on the light, and close the door. I stretched and sighed, and prayed the day went by fast. I was keen to get this event over with, get some rest, and just spend time with Tom. There was so much I wanted to say to him, and I was looking forward to having lively discussions with him without the pressure to be anywhere, or anyone spying on us. Despite our forced circumstance, and the unusual escalation of our relationship, if either of us got anything out of this weekend, I would hope that we could at least be friends in the end. I couldn’t count on anything more than that. I had to constantly remind myself that anything other than that was a definite improbability. It was unrealistic and silly, and I decided not to allow the fantasy of Tom whisking me away to London with him to skip around in my head. Although he did stop himself from saying something last night, something that sounded an awful lot like “fall in love with”, but I didn’t want to assume that’s what it was. 

 

The door to the bathroom popped open, and a very bare Tom was beckoning to me, his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth yet again. I pursed my lips together, stifling my grin as I sat up in bed. I could feel my cheeks going quite red as I watched him in all of his naked glory.

 

“Everything ok?” I asked, blinking and fighting to keep my eyes on his face as he stood there, brushing his teeth.

 

He leaned his head back and removed his toothbrush. “Come on.” He slid his toothbrush back in his mouth, his eyebrows wiggling maniacally at me, and turned back into the bathroom. 

 

Facing the inevitable, I threw back the covers and slid to the side of the bed. My lower back was tight and the bottoms of my feet were throbbing. I would definitely be wearing my mary jane’s today. I didn’t think my feet could handle anything too fancy. I pushed myself from the bed and walked slowly to the bathroom to see what he needed from me.

 

He had started the water in the shower and was laying out two large towels over the edge of the shower wall. Hearing me, he turned and grinned at me. “You ready?” he asked.

 

“Am I ready for what?” I asked, not sure what he was talking about. 

 

Tom opened the glass shower door and stepped inside, leaning out with the door still open. “To shower, silly. We have to get a move on, you know.” 

 

My eyes widened in sudden panic. Oh lord, he wanted to share his morning shower with me. He’d see every naked and wet inch of me, and I didn’t know if I was ready for him to do that. It was one thing to roll around in the dark with him, but another to be completely exposed with nowhere to hide. I bit my lower lip and could feel my brows furrowing. 

 

Tom’s face went from absolute glee to concern. “What’s wrong? Are you not showering this morning?” he asked. I almost blurted out, “YES," but knew that wouldn’t do. 

 

I looked away, embarrassed. “I - well, yes I was planning on bathing this morning. I just didn’t expect - well, I didn’t think we’d shower at the same time, is all...” I was being childish and I knew it. I’d had sex with him, a few times, in fact, but I was still hung up on him actually seeing all of me. 

 

“Well, why not? Come on, Rebecca. We are being eco-friendly, conserving water, if you will. And besides, it’s more fun with two,” Tom said, his voice becoming sing-songy at the end of his statement. 

 

I snorted. He was right. And we were both running out of time. Resigned, I nodded. “Alright, give me a minute to brush my teeth and I’ll be in shortly.” 

 

Tom smiled one of his devious smiles and shut the shower door. I shook my head, running my hands through my hair, hoping I could get through this new trauma intact. I used the toilet, cleaned my teeth, and brushed out my hair. I couldn’t believe I was doing this; I just hoped he wouldn’t laugh at me when he got his eyeful.

 

I stripped out of my pajamas, opened the shower door, and let myself in. He was standing under the shower head; his eyes were closed and his head was bent back, water sluicing over his body. I was going to faint. Standing in the corner of the large shower stall with my arms wrapped around me, I felt like it was high school gym all over again and wanting very much to disappear down the drain. 

 

Tom pulled his head up, running his hand over his face to clear it of water, and smiled at me. “It’s about time. Come here.” He reached out to me and pulled me to him, my arms still wrapped tightly around me. He gave me a good once over and chuckled quietly. “Are you cold? Here, I’ll warm you up.” 

 

I wasn’t cold; the water of the shower was blissfully hot. He wrapped me in his arms and then turned me under the spray. Dipping my head back, I closed my eyes and let the water cascade over my head. I could feel his hands slide up under my hair as I arched my back. I popped my head back up, shaking the water from my eyes, keeping my arms wrapped around myself awkwardly.

 

Tom’s brows wrinkled, his mouth turning down into a frown. “Rebecca, what is wrong?” I bit my upper lip and looked away. I didn’t want to say anything. I wanted to be anywhere else in the world but here with him, and for me, this was a first. 

 

I sighed. “I - I don’t feel comfortable. You know, with you - well, you can see all of me.” I looked up at him, hoping he could be sympathetic to my illogical plight. He looked confused, and then realization dawned on him. He laughed. My embarrassment transformed to annoyance.

 

“Good lord, Rebecca. Are you joking?” Tom laughed again and he let go of me. I didn’t know what to do; I didn’t know if I should feel embarrassed or mad. He reached up and unwrapped my arms, taking my hands in his and holding them straight down to our sides. I looked up at the ceiling and exhaled sharply, not meeting his eyes. He backed away from me, holding our arms out at length, and I could feel his eyes roaming all over my naked skin, taking all of me in. I had no idea what he was thinking, although I’m sure I could have come up with a few horrid things. I had been rejected by men before because of my attributes, and I was now under the unabashed appraisal of Tom Hiddleston. 

 

“Look at me,” he said simply. I rolled my eyes to him, my face still turned away. His eyes flashed a gorgeous shade of green this morning, and I felt a sudden thrill of arousal flitter quietly through my belly. “You really have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?” Tom asked. 

 

I turned my head to look at him. Wait, what? I was dumbstruck. His tongue peeked out through his lips as his eyes ran up and down me, and my knees went wobbly. The steam from the shower was not helping with my shallow breaths, and I squeezed his fingers as the small thrill of arousal bloomed inside of me, making the temperature of the shower stall skyrocket. I had never been appraised so boldly by any man, and the look on his face made my pulse quicken. I couldn’t stop looking at him as he took me in his arms, his eyes never leaving mine. His hands slid down my hot, slippery back and grabbed my hips, pulling me against him. His own arousal poked hard between us, and I lift my chin, the breath I was holding leaving me in a quiet gasp. 

 

“You are a silly woman. You are beautiful. Why would you be ashamed of what you look like?” Tom asked, his eyes intense and not leaving mine. The brief thought of the men from my past paraded through my mind; the rude and hurtful complaints of my hips being too broad, my chest too small, the marks on my thighs and belly from weight gains and losses all through high school and my early adulthood. All of these men I had been intimate with, all had found fault with me, and then left me in the end. How could Tom be any different from them?

 

“I’m not sure you want the laundry list of my physical faults so early in the morning,” I said, trying to laugh it off as no big deal, and also trying to diffuse the situation. I wasn’t fishing, and I felt like I needed to divert his attention from me. My lack of self-esteem was running amok, and I didn’t want to talk about me anymore.

 

He pulled me closer to him, grinding his erection painfully into my belly. “Do you feel that, Rebecca? Hmmm? YOU did that. It’s all yours, and looking at your beautiful body did that to me,” Tom said, his voice deep and even. I was glad he was holding onto me. I could feel my knees give out under me, and my body arched against his again. His eyes were heavy lidded with desire, and he leaned towards me, his tongue slowly delving between my lips before I could say anything. I could feel my thighs tremble, heat shooting up through my core as I returned his kiss. He moaned low in his throat, and quickly broke our kiss, putting his forehead against mine. I looked up at him, my eyes blinking, and trying to focus. “I think you are beautiful, inside AND out. And god knows I want you -” He dipped his head, his lips kissing me tenderly. I closed my eyes, pushing back against the overwhelming emotion of his acceptance of me. Each thing he said or did with me was a surprise, and I was failing at keeping my feelings out of whatever this was between us. Being infatuated with the man before I knew him this weekend was easy compared to this. When I had my photos and videos and movies, I could comfortably love him from afar, knowing I’d never meet him. But now, standing under the hot water of the shower, with his lips on mine and his very aroused body pressed into me, it was impossible. The last shred of my paper walls had quickly burned up with his kiss, and I was hopelessly and completely in love with the man. My heart clenched with this paradigm shift, and I moaned sadly as he completed his kiss.

 

Tom pulled away and chuckled, pulling me even closer. “Oh, my beautiful Rebecca, believe me, I want you right now, but we haven’t the time. We need to wash up and get out of here quickly, or I will have you up against this wall. And you know I do enjoy having my way with you against bathroom walls,” he said, his eyes widening suggestively as he laughed. 

 

He had started this fire this morning, and I felt emboldened by his acceptance of me, and I was more than ready to have him myself. I shrugged. “I’m not sure I see the problem with that. We don’t have to be at that brunch at any certain time, you know. We can be a little late.” I looked up into his eyes, dead serious. 

 

He smirked. “Later, darling. After the convention is over, and we are finished being fabulous and famous, I promise you, I will have you at my leisure. Now, soap up and quit faffing about.” He kissed my forehead and turned away, grabbing his shampoo. 

 

I sighed, sexually frustrated as all hell, but I reached for my shampoo as well. We spent the next twenty minutes lathering ourselves, and each other, and going out of our way to touch the other one as inappropriately as possible. At one point, when he was rinsing off under the shower with his eyes closed, as I was waiting to rinse the conditioner out of my hair, I boldly ran my hands down the sides of his chest and over the tops of his legs; my hands dipping low and scratching my fingertips on his inner thighs, making him jump adorably. He opened his eyes and frowned, shaking his finger at me. I stood back; my arms crossed in indignation, and rolled my eyes. “Sorry, I was getting the soap bubbles off of you,” I said with an innocent toothy smile. 

 

Oh, I did end up paying for my wickedness in the end. A few moments later, as I was leaning back and rinsing my hair, Tom ran his hands down the length of my body, and a very wet hand slipped down my belly and between my legs, two very long and skilled fingers sliding slowly within me. I gasped and quickly closed my mouth for fear of drowning. My head fell back and I rolled my hips forward, my hands gripping the top of his head, which was positioned near my hip. I could feel his teeth graze my inner thigh as his fingers worked deep within me, his thumb rubbing gently on my clit. My fingers gripped his curls and my hips began to move against him. I could feel the start of my climax begin to build in earnest when he suddenly slipped his fingers away from me. I opened my eyes and watched him stand up next to me, his eyes glittering evilly. His face changed from unbridled lust to absolute innocence as he kissed the tip of my nose. “Oh, I, uh - wanted to make sure you got all the soap off. Just trying to help,” he said, angelic as hell, and he moved away from me with a wink. If I had more confidence, and more time, I would have shoved him hard against the tiles of the shower wall and taken him myself. Instead, I took a shaky breath, rinsing completely, and turning off the taps. 

 

We got out of the shower, dried off, and got ready. I didn’t know if I could handle not having him before we went down for brunch; he had done his best to have my body in a constant level of arousal, but Tom was a good boy and didn’t make any more advances, just cheeky grins and heartbreaking smiles.

 

I blow dried my hair and put on my makeup as Tom left the bathroom to get dressed. Good thing, too; if he stayed anywhere near me, I would have to take matters into my own hands, shove him to the floor, and ride him until I was through with him. Thankfully, no such luck. We both needed to try to keep our hands off the other one and get to work. It was his last day at the convention, and he still had obligations. 

 

After I was through fussing with my face and hair, I went into his sleeping room and dug out my last handler outfit for the weekend. I was going a bit more casual for a Sunday, so I pulled out a sheer white button up blouse and white tank top, matching this with my dark blue jeans and my mary jane’s. After slipping into my shoes and rolling up my sleeves, I grabbed my phone and my bag, and I was ready. Tom had already gone downstairs to wait for me.

 

I went downstairs and loaded my bag with Tom’s water bottles and two bananas. He was leaning against the couch, checking his phone. He had gone a bit casual today as well, and I smiled and shook my head. It disturbed me on many different levels that I knew most of the clothes that resided in his closet. He had chosen his olive green t-shirt and his black jeans, paired with his boots and black leather jacket. Comfortably and fantastically predictable. Seeing him in clothing I recognized day after day would never get old for me.

 

We left our room and walked to the service elevator to go down to the hotel restaurant. The brunch was being held in a private dining area just off the main dining area, and we made our way up the steps and to the private room. A few staff volunteers were guarding the door, and seeing Tom and myself, they were all smiles as they opened the double doors and let us inside. The room was small and held only six rounds with ten seats each. There were maybe twenty of the attendees down for breakfast this early, many of them most likely still asleep from all the late night panels and the last rave of the convention. I looked over the room quickly and saw Stephanie and Dmitri were seated at one of the tables having breakfast with an American and an English cosplayer from Hetalia. Tom waved at them as we went to a table in the back. Stephanie scrunched up her face comically, shook her fist at him, and said, “Hiddleston! I’ll get you next time, old man!” Tom shook his head and shrugged adorably.

 

The table Tom had chosen had three young ladies dressed in Lolita gear. I had forgotten there was a tea later today. I normally didn’t get to attend them since I was usually handling a guest, but I adored the fashions. The three girls seated at the table were dressed in traditional Lolita colors; one in black, one in white, and one in pink, and they looked like precious Victorian dolls.

 

“Is this seat taken?” Tom asked one of the young girls. She was awestruck, her very dark brown eyes blinking in surprise. 

 

“No - no, it’s not,” she said, stumbling over her words. Her two friends looked at her, stifling giggles and looking like they would erupt at any moment. 

 

“Might my friend and I join you ladies for breakfast then?” he asked, his hand covering his heart and a smile on his face. 

 

The little pink Lolita gulped. Oh wow, how I felt for her. I knew exactly what she was feeling. She stifled a giggle, turning pinker than her dress, nodded, and motioned for us to sit. Bless her, she couldn’t speak. Tom bowed eloquently and pulled a chair out for me. I stashed my bag as Tom took a seat next to the pretty pink Lolita, her dark eyes getting even wider. I turned away and looked for a server; I couldn’t watch her struggle with sitting next to Tom. Her nervousness was infectious, and I felt like I would jump up and fangirl with her if I wasn't careful. 

 

One of the servers came over, and I asked for a carafe of coffee and two glasses of water for the both of us as Tom introduced himself to the other young ladies at our table. The brunch buffet was set up along one of the walls, and the smell of sausages and syrup made my tummy grumble. I indicated to Tom I was off to get a plate and excused myself as he sat and chatted with the girls a bit longer.

 

I loaded my plate with scrambled eggs, toast, and sausage, and walked back over and took my seat again. Tom stood up to retrieve his own breakfast as I got settled, and I smiled politely at the young ladies. They were whispering nervously amongst each other as he left, and I hid a smile as I poured my coffee.

 

As I began eating, I looked around the room again. I didn’t expect to see any of the rowdy actors down here this early. They would be doing good to make it to the eleven am panel in an upright position, and sober. The only famous people in the room at the moment were Tom, Stephanie, and young Dmitri. Stephanie had stopped Tom on his way back to the table, and they were chatting briefly. I turned away, glad that I truly had nothing to worry about for the rest of the weekend. No pointless jealousy over Stephanie, and no worries over Julie and her conniving machinations. I just needed to do my job to the best of my ability for Tom for the next few hours. And after? I wasn’t going to think that far ahead. It was work time. 

 

Tom sat down finally, his plate full of eggs, and toast, and bacon. He poured his own cup of coffee and started chatting with the ladies again. They were shy and giggly for the most part, but as he kept engaging them in polite conversation about their costumes and of the upcoming tea, they began to relax around him. 

 

I had finished my breakfast, and was contemplating another small plate of something with syrup on it, when Brian came into the dining room. Seeing us in the back, he waved and went to make a plate for himself. The ladies were finished with their breakfasts, and had shyly asked Tom for a photo with each of them. I was happy to assist with the photos, and made sure I took a few from each camera and phone they handed to me. I wanted to make sure they had a few good shots. I smiled to myself, idly wondering if I’d see them posted on Tumblr when I got home. That thought sent an unexpected shot of panic and sadness through me, and I sat down heavily, forcing a smile and handing the last camera back to the Lolita in white. I didn’t hear their goodbye’s as they asked for hugs from Tom and left the room. I was wrapped up in my lonely thoughts of going back home to my quiet apartment, alone, after this amazing weekend. I cleared my throat. I couldn’t let this get to me, not now. But the thought of not being with Tom, not hearing his laugh or watching him smile, overwhelmed me.

 

“Ohhh...please tell me there is coffee left in that,” Brian said, sitting next to me with his own plate of breakfast. I nodded and slid the carafe towards him. He poured his own mug and filled it up, along with many packets of sugar and creamer. I took a deep breath and a long drink of my water, my throat constricted with unshed tears, and I mentally forced them away. 

 

“So, Tom. Have you had a good time so far?” Brian asked, taking a sip of his coffee. I picked up the carafe to fill my mug, and, finding Brian had successfully emptied it, I got up to take it to a server to get a fresh one. Two unchecked tears slid quietly out of the corners of my eyes, and I whisked them away quickly. It was Sunday, and I knew I was tired from the show, but also my impending departure. I had to pull myself up by my boot straps quick; I had work to do today. I went back to the table with a freshly filled carafe and set this on the table in front of Tom. He and Brian were laughing over something, god only knew what, and I sat down, all professional smiles. 

 

I sat between them as they spoke, hearing nothing as they spoke to each other. I tuned them out as I checked Tom’s schedule for the last time. I tapped on his Sunday tab, confirming his events and the times. It was going to be an easy day, and I knew where he needed to be when, and at what time. With a heavy heart, I closed down my Drive for the last time and slipped my phone in my pocket. I checked the time, and we had a few minutes left before we had to head over to the convention center. I got up, found a server, and asked for two coffees to go. I knew I was going to need it. I sat back down, pulled out my bag, and quietly waited to leave. 

 

“After closing ceremonies, I want to get with you before I have to supervise the tear down; do you want me to meet you at your room?” Brian asked Tom.

 

“Sure, did you need something or -?” Tom asked, putting his napkin on his plate and taking a sip of his water.

 

“Yeah, I need to get that paperwork in your binder from you before we start tearing down the business office. I can drop by after six and get that from you, cool?” Brian asked, filling up his coffee mug once again. 

 

Tom nodded and smiled. “I’ll have my handler get that to me and have her take care of it.” 

 

I rolled my eyes and smiled, my lips strained. The server brought our coffees to-go, and it was time for us to leave for his panel. I filled my coffee with extra cream and sugar, and Tom took his cup. As we left, I leaned over and hugged Brian goodbye, squeezing him a little too long, and we walked over to the convention center for Tom’s last panel of the event.


	21. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter XXI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 30 – Stereo MC’s – Connected http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kezbMtlwW5Q  
> 31 – Underworld – Born Slippy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iKFn8dlxX8

We made our way backstage to wait for his panel to begin, and as I rounded the corner to the wings backstage, I saw Edward talking to a young volunteer. I tensed, my eyes looking around furtively for the possibility of seeing Julie lurking about in the darkness, but I didn’t see her. Edward looked up, seeing Tom, and smiled. Tom came from around me and walked over to Edward with purpose, his hand extended in greeting.

“Hey, man! A bit early for a panel, isn’t it?” Tom said with a laugh. Edward shook his hand and clapped Tom on the shoulder.

“No shit, man. I don’t think I got more than three hours sleep. How you doin'?” Edward asked, taking the large coffee cup the volunteer handed him. 

“I’m alright. Ready to get the day started,” Tom replied, letting go of Edward and putting his hands on his hips. Edward nodded his agreement and took a sip of his coffee. His eyes rolled to me briefly, and then there was a sudden shift of recognition. I felt a surge of panic as he quickly gave me a once over, and then looked at Tom. I smiled uncomfortably and walked past them towards the stage, leaving them alone, but still within earshot.

I went and stood next to the sound tech and peeked out to the audience. Not a huge crowd like yesterday, but pretty full. This morning’s panel was videogame voice acting, and only a handful of the actors would be present. I smiled, seeing a few small groups of Hiddleston’s Army out in the audience. I stayed put in my spot as I overheard Edward speaking with Tom.

“Hey man, I heard about what happened last night and I wanted to apologize for all that bullshit,” Edward said in a hushed tone. I crinkled my brow, dropping some serious eaves on their conversation. Why would Edward be apologizing for Julie’s behavior? That made no sense.

“I’m not sure why you would need to apologize, mate,” Tom replied, his statement echoing my thoughts, his voice friendly enough with a slight edge of annoyance. 

I heard Edward sigh heavily. I wished I could turn around and watch them, but I knew what was to be said was not for my ears. “Julie found me late last night. I was downstairs smoking as security was escorting her out of the hotel. She was bawling and making a huge fuss, and when she saw me, she came crying to me about some bullshit story. I didn’t believe her, man, Julie is - well, she’s a piece of work.” I couldn’t believe my ears. Edward and Julie went way back to when he was a musician in a fledgling band in New Orleans, and as she saw his potential for stardom, she kept in touch with him, entrenching herself as his number one groupie. They had become friends, and a few years later when he was discovered in LA for his voice work, and as his popularity skyrocketed, she made sure to be at any and all of the conventions he ever appeared at. He had been her gateway into the convention business, and the rest was history.

“I suppose you could say that,” Tom said. He was being non-committal, and sounded like he was doing his best to just listen to what Edward had to say. 

“Yeah, man. Don’t get me wrong, Julie is a fun piece of ass, but I don’t take that bitch seriously. I see her for what she is. I may be some dumbass musician that got all kinds of “famous”, but I’m not a fucking idiot. I know she won't apologize to you for being a conniving bitch. And I wanted you to know that just because she was my “handler”, for whatever that means, I don’t share her opinion. I’ve worked a few shows with Rebecca. She’s an absolute doll who works her ass off for whoever she’s handling. Hell, if Julie fucked off forever, I’d love to have Rebecca take care of me. She’s a real gem, man. You lucked out.” I felt my eyes widen with Edward’s admission. I had no idea he even paid attention to anything other than his bottle of Glenlivet and all the tweens that fawned over him. I was stunned. I also felt a small surge of pride, knowing that even someone as vain as Edward knew that I did a good job. I smiled to myself. At least that was something.

“Ah, man, no worries. I wouldn’t blame you for what she did, but thank you for the apology. That was very thoughtful of you,” Tom said. I peeked over my shoulder and saw the two men shake hands again, and the topic of Julie was finished.

Dmitri and Stephanie entered the wings shortly after Tom and Edward spoke. Dmitri, Tom, and Edward would be the panelists this morning, and Stephanie had come along to watch. I decided that I could rejoin Tom and the others, and I handed him one of his water bottles. He took the bottle, looking down at me and turning away. As he turned, he grinned and winked at me. He had to know I was listening in on their conversation, and I nodded my head, acknowledging his wink. The panel host showed up shortly afterwards, and after a brief rundown of what the panel would cover, the host hustled the men on stage to applause and a few squeals from some of the girls in the audience. Stephanie pulled a chair next to the sound tech, and we sat together to watch the panel.

The panel was a bit more subdued in comparison to yesterday morning, but the questions from the audience were intelligent and entertaining. Stephanie and I both watched with matching grins on our faces for two very different men. As the panel began to get a bit more technical in questions, I leaned casually over to Stephanie.

“So, will you be changing your flight to LA or go back to London after this is all over?” I whispered, joking with her. I had no idea if she had done this or not, but the way the two of them looked at each other, well. I recognized it for what it was; I had been doing it with Tom all bloody weekend.

She leaned over to me, her crystal blue eyes wide and her cheeks pink with surprise, and replied, “I changed my flight last night; how did you know?” 

Oh, lucky guess, score one for Rebecca. I stifled a giggle of my own and said, “Well, I was just guessing, really. But I can see why you would. He’s quite fit.” 

Stephanie giggled, covering her mouth to mask the noise, and looked at Dmitri on stage, who was talking about how wonderful it was to go to work in your pajamas. “Yeah, he, uh - yeah, he is quite fit.” She leaned back in her chair, her eyes going soft as she watched Dmitri on stage. I wondered if I should tell Brian his little event had sparked a few love matches. Well, at least one. I couldn’t speak for Tom, but we were at least practicing love. And hopefully tonight, after all was said and done, we would be doing a lot of practicing. I entertained myself with this thought as the panel ran on; Tom and Edward quickly taking over the majority of the speaking, trying to one up each other on stage and being as entertaining as possible in their own ways. 

My thoughts turned from tonight to what Stephanie had said. She had changed her flight to go home with Dmitri in LA, and I felt a small pain of longing. God, I wished it was that easy; to live in a world where you were beholden to no one, and you could fly off at a moment’s notice and be with the one you loved, whenever you wanted to. I didn’t live in that world; I just pretended on the weekends when I worked an event. I worked at a job that I hated, for a company I hated even more, all to make enough money not to live with my parents. Not that that would be a bad thing; they travelled quite extensively, and I’m sure they’d love to have me as a live-in house sitter. But, there was something to being out on your own and being able to do your own thing. Not that I did much. I mostly lived online with my tiny handful of friends, and that was it. I had even fewer real friends in the outside world, but they were either married or had children, and being the token spinster was sometimes too much for me to spend any amount of time with them. So, I took comfort in my friends online, scrolling away on my dash and spending time with my movies and my books. It was a wonder I didn’t own a few cats at this point in my life. It wasn’t a real life, and I knew that, but it’s what I had. And after this weekend, I wasn’t sure it would be enough for me any longer. Through Tom’s kindness, and sincerity, and honesty, I was able to look at myself and reassess what I was doing with my life, and I knew I wanted a change for the better. I knew I couldn’t just sell off all my belongings and move to London; that was an impossibility. But he did at least make me feel like doing something more with myself. At least I could carry that with me after we parted ways.

The panel was winding down, and I felt a shy hand on my shoulder. I turned and saw Krista and Lauren, my two original autograph helpers, standing in the darkness of the wings. They were both vibrating with excitement, and I got up and hugged them both. I was happy that Brian had re-assigned them to me, now that Julie wouldn’t be a problem for them. And they’d get to meet and work with Tom. I showed them to the table in the back of the wings that held Tom’s boxes of photos and the cash box, and explained to them what we were going to do when we would be at his table. The girls held onto the boxes for dear life, and I grinned. I would never get over watching someone meet him for the first time. It was like reliving my first time, and that thought carried the most glorious images that I would hold onto forever. The fleeting image of Tom leaning out of the door to his room and simply saying, “Hello”, the way he held my hand when I told him about my grandmother, the way he smelled when he hugged me for the first time after I got pissing drunk and made a fool out of myself. I sighed, tucking those away for later, and tried to get serious.

The panel ended with thunderous applause, and the boys left the stage. I had his banana waiting for him, and Tom took it from me, immediately peeling it and devouring it within moments. Lauren and Krista stood behind me, tittering as they watched Tom take a long swallow from his water bottle and hand me his peel. I introduced the girls to Tom, and they blushed furiously, grinning from ear to ear. Tom was polite and flattering, and was working his way up to being cheeky and flirty with the both of them as I walked his peel over to the trash and peeked out to make sure the tables were being arranged on the floor for the signing. Seeing they were, in fact, being set up, I motioned for the girls, and they made their way to the floor on stage left to Tom’s table to get everything organized.

I turned to get Tom when I saw that he and Stephanie were in a big hug. Dmitri was standing behind her, and as they pulled away, Tom shook his hand, and the two of them left. Tom saw me waiting next to the stage stairs and he came over to me. “They’re on their way to the airport; just saying goodbye,” he explained.

I nodded. “Yes, seems they are flying to LA together; at least that’s what she said.” 

Tom laughed quietly “Yes, I’m sure Anna will love that her daughter is going to stay in the states indefinitely. I’d hate to be Steph when she gets home after her American adventure.” 

“Hey, before this gets started, did you need to visit the bathroom or anything?” I asked, my voice trailing off as I realized what I had said. I blinked innocently, and then settled into a mischievous smile. 

Tom’s eyes narrowed at me as he inhaled, and as he exhaled, his breath exited with a small, imperceptible moan. “I do indeed need to visit the facilities, but I will be going alone this time. Can’t be too careful in these bathrooms. And besides...” He leaned towards me and whispered, “You, Madame, will be waiting until tonight, and not a minute before. Don’t think for one moment that I will have you locking me away and having your way with me. That’s my job for you...later.” And with that, he turned on his heel and walked himself to the facilities. My neck flushed as I watched him walk away, stopping before he rounded the corner and giving me a look that set fire to my insides. And I had been so good this morning, ignoring my desire for him...dammit.

I took a deep breath and went down to his autograph table, helping the girls finish setting up his table. The sound tech had put on background music again, and I sat down in my chair, bobbing my head to “Connected”. All we needed was our rock star, and we could get started. I looked down the row of tables. A handful of the guests had already left for the airport, but the rowdies had made it to the convention center, donning dark shades and their very large coffee cups. As I laughed to myself, I felt a warm hand on my back as Tom moved behind me to sit and get ready for his signing. I reached into my bag and held out a piece of gum and his tin of mints, giving him the choice of which he would like first. Tom took the stick of gum, and I stashed the mints in my bag. I checked the time, and it was straight up noon; the doors would be opening soon.

“Made it back in one piece, I see,” I whispered at Tom. He turned to me, seeing me looking up at him and grinning. He inclined his head with a devilish grin on his face. I giggled involuntarily, recognizing his creepy ass evil grin when I saw it, and I covered my mouth to stifle my laugh.

“Yes, yes I did. No one accosted me or took me hostage. Unlike some people I know who would,” he said in a husky whisper, and then leaned away from me, sitting upright in his chair. He was giving me some serious side eye, and I burst out into a laugh again.

The doors opened up, and the attendees poured in, queuing up as “Born Slippy” began. I looked at the girls, making sure they were ready. They were chatting with Tom as he was ribbing them a bit and giving each of them a hard time. Every time he spoke with either of them, the other would giggle at the one he was speaking to. 

Autograph session, take two. It was a repeat of the day before, with the upbeat music playing in the background, and Tom signing everything that was handed to him. Halfway through the session, he had sold out of all of the photos that his agency had shipped to the convention. I had Krista take the cash box backstage, along with more gifts that some of the fans had brought for him, and make an accounting of all the monies so I could give half to Brian to include in the totals for the charity. The other half would be going home with Tom for his UNICEF charity, and I was pleased to see that he had run out of his photos. I made a mental note to ask Tom later if he wanted to give Brian all of the money and have him issue a cashier's check so it would be easier to travel home with.

The signing session wound down with the last of the autographs, and I found I was starving. I was glad we would be able to have a leisurely lunch after this. I had Lauren and Krista go backstage to dispose of his empty boxes as Tom finished up a conversation with the Avengers cosplayers we had shared our elevator ride with a few days before. He complimented them on their costumes, and they asked about the Avengers 2 rumors. And, as if on auto-script, the Marvel red dot of death speech came forth, and he apologized for not being able to say anything for the umpteenth time. Tom waved his goodbyes at the cosplayers, and we went backstage to join the girls. 

Lauren and Krista asked if they could get a photo with Tom, and again, I obliged, taking a few shots on their cameras for them. He hugged them both, thanking them for their assistance, and as we made our way from backstage, I could hear their tiny squeals of excitement. Tom must have heard them as well, and he closed his eyes and shook his head. 

“I’ll never understand that. I have no idea what they see in me, but wow -” he said, chuckling quietly. 

I walked next to him, wishing I could take his hand as we walked to the elevator to take us down and out to the streets. “You crack me up. I don’t understand how you can’t not see what you do. I swear, I don’t see how someone so intelligent and sharp can have no idea about their appeal. Christ, man, do you need me to give you a list?” I asked, looking at him. 

The elevator doors opened, and he laughed as we both entered. “No, please don’t. I’m not sure I could handle it.” I glanced over at him, and his cheeks were pink with embarrassment. Ah, bless. 

The doors shut, and I moved directly in front of him, pressing my body into his. I put my hands onto his chest and looked up into his surprised face. “Well, I can’t speak for the others, but you, sir, certainly have quite the effect on me.” I slid one of my hands down the length of his arm and took his hand in mine. I slid his hand onto my belly, slipping it up under my shirt, and hooked his fingertips in the top of my jeans. “Care to check?” I asked, my eyes never leaving his. 

Tom’s fingers gripped the waistband of my jeans, tugging me towards him, his eyes widening in aroused surprise. “I don’t need to,” he replied, his voice thick and low. He leaned towards me; his lips were warm on my ear as he whispered, “I can smell your arousal, my love.” His fingers slid slowly down the front of my jeans, and my breath caught in my throat. Tom pulled slowly away from me, but not before running the tip of his nose along my neck, inhaling quietly. “Mmm...too bad I have to wait until later to check for sure. But I’m positive you won’t disappoint me.” And with that, he leaned away from me completely with a devilish smirk. Good thing the elevator had finally reached its destination. It took all I had to back away from him, and we exited the elevator and walked across the street to the hotel restaurant for lunch.


	22. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter XXII

Tom wanted to have lunch in the restaurant, so we found a quiet booth in the back. I wanted to have room service in bed for the next hour or so, and he most likely knew that, thus choosing to remain in public, and sweetly torturing me in the process. The restaurant was mostly quiet; many of the attendees had checked out already, or were across the street for the remainder of the event. And it was nice to just sit somewhere and share a meal with him. But damned if the man was making it impossible for me. 

We sat in a booth in the back corner, and I chose to sit across from him so I could keep an eye out in case anyone approached him. I didn’t want anyone to pop up unexpectedly; I wanted to make sure I gave him a heads up in case someone did. 

“Did you have any plans for dinner?” I asked after our server brought our waters with lemon. 

Tom squeezed the lemon and dropped the fruit into his glass, smiling. “I haven’t had lunch yet, my darling,” he said, laughing at me. 

I grinned, rolling my eyes to the ceiling. I knew I had asked him a similar question days ago, before our adventure; before a lot of things. But, since we were essentially free after the event, I didn’t know what he wanted to do. “I’m only asking because I didn’t know if you‘d be in the mood to eat here again, or perhaps you’d want to get out of the hotel and try something else. I do have my car here, and I’m sure there is a Chili’s nearby.” 

Tom threw his head back, scrunching his eyes tight and laughing. I had no intention of going to Chili’s, but I enjoyed poking fun at him. Then again, if I said too much, maybe he’d find out how much of a stalker I really was. I was harmless. Well, mostly harmless. I hoped he didn’t think it was creepy that I kept dropping all these random facts on him. Too late now, and it didn’t matter anyway.

He recovered, giving me an artificial look of admonishment, and stirred his water with his straw. “No, dear lady, I do not want Chili’s, for god’s sake. And, as for leaving the hotel tonight, perhaps we could do that tomorrow? I’d like to just stay in tonight. Perhaps one last night of room service, and then we can be a cliché and fill up that huge tub and have a proper soak. And then -” He trailed off, his face breaking into a very innocent smile. I could feel my eyes go wide, and I bit my lower lip as I grinned. “Well. We shall see where the night takes us, shall we?” he finished quietly. 

I took a deep breath, still grinning, and sat back in the booth, dropping my eyes to my lap. Our server had chosen that time to arrive with our lunches, and I was grateful for the distraction. Tom had decided to have the same lunch as me, and we tore into our fancy hotel cheeseburgers and fries. I was starving. We ate in silence mostly, except when I asked him about his charity money, and how he wanted to handle that. I also asked if he’d like to be present at the charity auction.

Tom swallowed the last bite of his burger and took a long drink of water. “Yeah, yeah, I do, actually. Brian asked me about it this morning at breakfast. I think it would be a good idea if I attended. Perhaps inspire them to dig a little deeper into their pockets.” He raised his eyebrows as he grinned, and then proceeded to polish off the last of his fries.

I finished my lunch shortly after he did, and I sat back in the booth, not sure I’d be able to leave again. It was good to just sit for a while; the weekend was quickly catching up with me. As I sat and took sips of my water, I thought forward to tonight, to Tom and I being clichés in his Jacuzzi tub. Mmmm...naked and wet. I grinned wickedly, thankful I had packed my baby oil in my toiletry kit, and I filed that bit of knowledge away for later.

“Stop it,” Tom said quietly, his voice dripping with accusation, and a bit of arousal.

I lifted my head, looking up at him. I wiped the guilty look off my face and tried to smile as innocently as possible. I failed. “Stop what?” I asked, feigning ignorance. He narrowed his eyes at me, and I could feel his legs shift and slide against mine under the table. 

“I can hear your thoughts all the way from over here. I wouldn’t be surprised if half the restaurant wasn’t blushing at whatever it is you’re thinking,” he said, raising his right eyebrow at me.

I sighed. I didn’t care that he had caught me fantasizing about him. “Let them blush, I don’t care.” 

Tom sat back in his seat and laughed quietly, his eyes going wide. “Oh ho ho, I see how it is. Goodness, my beautiful Rebecca is no longer the simpering fangirl. Oh, now I like this,” he said, leaning over his side of the table, his voice dropping low and menacing, his very blue eyes narrowing at me again. Oops, there it goes. Tom had let his Loki slip, and my boldness dissolved into feels. 

I burst into the giggles and shook my head. I tried, I really did, but I fell short. I recovered and smiled at him. “I will always be your fangirl.”

He nodded at me, pleased. “Quite right.”

Our server brought the check, and Tom sat back in his seat again, a pleased smirk on his face. I signed his hotel room number, included a generous tip, slid out of the booth, and waited for him. 

We left the restaurant, and I checked the time. We had about an hour and a half before the charity auction began. “Hey, we have some time to kill, do you want to head back to the room or -” I trailed off my question into a small smile. 

Tom looked at me, his tongue peeking through his lips, and shook his head. “Your eagerness is to be commended, but no. I was thinking, I haven’t seen any of the convention. Could we walk around and take a look?” he asked, shoving his hands into his pockets. I was speechless for a moment. I had never had a guest ask to take a look around at the show before. This was new. I didn’t see an issue with it; I would have to phone Brian to make sure we had some security plants following us around, but it should be ok.

I nodded. “Sure, let me get in touch with Brian first, and we’ll go have a look around.” Tom smiled and looked a little excited. I had forgotten that the only conventions he had ever been to were the big shows, and with Brian’s event being a bit on the smaller side, Tom could get a chance to take a look and see what all the madness was about.

I called Brian and told him our plans, and he assured me he would have a few of his security team meet us in the hotel lobby. I found us a quiet place to sit off of the lobby, and Tom and I waited for our escort. I sank into the leather chair next to Tom’s and pulled out my phone. Tom pulled out his phone as well, and we sat in a companionable silence, catching up on our email and whatnot. As I went on Facebook, I noticed that one of the staff members had updated the convention page with photos from the weekend. Curious, I clicked on the album and scrolled through some of the images. Lots of candid’s of the attendees in the dealer’s room, artist alley, and standing in lines, waiting for a panel to begin. I smiled to myself; it had been a long time since I had gone to a show as a paying customer. Seeing all the cosplayers in all of their fancy costumes made me nostalgic, and I was happy that so many people who had attended the convention had an obviously good time. You could see the joy on their faces in all of the shots, and I went through the entire album a few times. There weren't many up yet, so it didn’t take me long. Once the event was over, Ken, the official convention photographer, would post all the shots from the weekend. He had an uncanny, bordering on creepy, ability to be invisible as he took his candids from the weekend, and I was looking forward to seeing them.

A shadow fell across my phone a few moments later, and I looked up into the smiling faces of Nick and Simon. Tom looked up as well, and greeted our original autograph volunteers. I was glad Brian had sent the boys; they would make sure Tom was safe. We got up from our chairs, much to the protest of my feet and lower back, and walked back over to the convention center. 

We walked up the steps and approached the front doors of the convention center. Attendees were scattered around the front steps, and in front of the door. There were some surprised looks our way, and some shocked faces, but no one approached us. Tom opened the door for me, and we went inside. The main lobby of the convention center was one long rectangular room that was filled with the tables for artist alley. Just by estimation, there were a few hundred attendees milling around in this area alone. I turned to Tom. “So, where would you like to start?” 

Tom looked around, a bit taken aback by the sheer volume of people. He looked slightly nervous, and I didn’t blame him. I decided to take control of the situation. I steered him to the easiest place to start; the dealer's room. Tom followed my lead, and we walked down to the dealer’s room with Nick and Simon in tow.

The dealer’s room was huge and off to the left of the main hall of the convention center lobby. I made sure our badges were in sight as we walked into the entrance, and immediately we were greeted by a colorful array of all the wares on offer. Tom’s eyes lit up as he looked around, his fear being replaced with a childlike smile. He started into the room and began browsing all the different tables. I looked behind me, making sure Nick and Simon were still with us, keeping a wary eye on anyone that might glomp Tom unexpectedly. I felt a lot safer with the boys with us.

There was a myriad of things for sale; Brian’s dealer room was always one of the best I’d ever seen at any show I’d ever worked. He prided himself on his variety, and the attendees never went away disappointed. There were anime, sci-fi, comic, and horror vendors selling books, wall scrolls, plushies, and clothing. As we walked and looked about, I noticed a few jewelry, leather work, and button makers peppered in for good measure as well. We stopped next to one of the jewelry vendors, when Tom saw a collection of Marvel toys on display. He stopped at the booth and began to look through some of the pricey figurines, and he ehehehe’d when he saw himself as Loki in the original packaging for the Marvel Select line. It was issued for the original Thor movie, and it was priced at over one hundred dollars. The weary vendor came over to assist us, and as realization dawned on him as to who this tall lanky man was that had picked up this figurine, his eyes bulged and he looked very excited. 

Tom held on to the figurine and laughed. It was in its original box with no wear on the edges. It was in good condition, and I wasn’t sure it was worth the amount the vendor was asking. But, convention prices weren’t real world prices. The vendor started chatting with Tom, and they struck up a conversation about the figurine, and the other items he had for sale. I peeked and saw that he also had the little action figure of Loki for the new movie coming up, along with the rest of the characters from the film, not that any of them mattered to me. I saw that Nick and Simon began to flank Tom inconspicuously on either side, keeping a watchful eye so Tom could have his conversation unmolested. I decided I would see what the jewelry vendor had for sale as he spoke, and let Tom fan boy over his action figures with the vendor.

The jewelry vendor specialized in sterling silver rings, bracelets, and pendants. She had set up her booth so that she could engrave anything you would want onto any of the jewelry blanks she had for sale. I looked at some of her examples, smiling politely at her as she worked on a commission. I was half-tempted to get something to take home as a memento, but I wouldn’t even begin to know what I’d want to get. 

I turned away from the jewelry vendor to see if Tom was ready to move on, and luckily, he was. We walked down the aisles of the remainder of the dealer’s room, stopping to look a few things, but nothing interested either of us. We left the dealer's room, and went back into the long lobby for artist alley. We began on one end of the hall and slowly worked our way around the room. Tom was amazed at the variety of handmade art items that were for sale. He stopped and spoke with a fan artist that had a few hand drawn prints with one Loki Laufeyson and the other Marvel heroes. She was visibly thrilled to have him stop and speak with her. And, since she was manning a table all weekend, I knew she probably didn’t make it to any of his panels or autograph sessions. After chatting with Tom for a few moments, she had reached under her table to pull out her personal sketchbook to show Tom more of her work that wasn’t for sale, when I whispered quickly my thoughts on the matter. He smiled and nodded, and then turned to continue his conversation, admiring the work in her sketch book. I dug in my bag silently for one of his sharpies and had it ready for him. As he found a particularly beautiful piece of Loki, done in colored pencil and ink in an art nouveau style, he turned to me without a word, and I handed his sharpie to him. He asked if it was alright with her if he autographed it for her, and I thought she would fall out of her chair from shock. She turned beet red and nodded, blinking up at him. He smiled and signed it for her. “To Audrey, Your work is amazing! Lots of Loki love, Tom Hiddleston”. I bit my lip as he handed the sketch book back to her, and as she read the inscription, I allowed myself to silently fangirl with her. Her lower lip trembled, and she asked him for a hug. He obliged, sliding around the table to her, taking her in his arms and squeezing her. I blinked away a few happy tears as I watched this exchange, and I was really glad Tom wanted to see what the convention had to offer instead of rolling around with me in his room for an hour. This was much better. I would have my time with him later, and this was absolutely worth shoving my selfish desires aside for. 

Tom came back around to the other side of the table and we said our goodbyes. We made our way down the other side of artist alley and I checked the time. The charity auction was going to begin in about five minutes, so I indicated to Tom and the boys we needed to get to the main events room. Tom followed me down the hall and around the corner to the main events room. We went backstage, and as we made it to the wings, I saw Brian speaking with the emcee. 

“Will you excuse me for a moment?” Tom asked, and then made his way back towards the hallway for the bathrooms. I indicated for Nick to follow him, and as he followed Tom down the hall, I went to Brian to see if he needed anything from Tom or me.

Brian was finishing up his conversation with the emcee when he turned to me with a huge grin on his face. “Almost over, Becca. Think you can make it?” He asked. He looked exhausted, but happy, and he had no idea what I wanted to answer in regards to the end of the show.

I nodded. “Of course! I’m a professional, remember?” I said, winking. Brian wrapped an arm around me, giving me a quick squeeze.

“You sure are, kiddo; the best in the business. And that’s why I love you,” Brian answered, squeezing me once more before letting me go.

“Ha ha, you love me because I’m cheap labor. I’m not an idiot, old friend,” I said, poking Brian in the ribs. He backed away, his hands up in defense as he laughed.

“This is also true. Cheap and cheerful!” he said, continuing to laugh. I contemplated chasing him across the stage when I heard Tom arrive back from his bathroom trip. I narrowed my eyes at Brian, pointing an accusatory finger at him, and he laughed harder. He must have been punch-drunk tired from the show. God knew I was.

The emcee had chosen that time to show up backstage again; Brian stifled his giggling and went to speak with him again. I shook my head and turned to Tom, who was watching our interchange with a quiet smile on his face. I had an undeniable urge to go to him and wrap my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest, but I settled for a deep breath and a smile of my own instead. Ugh, my clever restraint over the weekend was almost over, and I found I was struggling with it more and more as time ticked by. I went to lean on one of the tables as we waited for Brian to give us our marching orders. Tom joined me, leaning with me against the table, his arms crossed in front of him. 

“Not long now, love,” he said, leaning in to whisper to me. I turned and looked at him, my eyes widening in surprise at his bold statement to me out in public. He winked at me and leaned back as I bit my lip, hiding a smile. 

I turned away guiltily as Brian approached us. “Ok, here’s the idea. We’ll get the auction started, and after a bit, Tom, you can then show up unannounced, and then we can continue on. That should drive the audience apeshit. Let me get items I need you to sign, and you can bring them with you to the stage when you arrive, cool?” 

“Absolutely,” Tom said, smiling as Brian left to gather the goodies for the auction. Brian had gathered items from the vendors in his dealer’s room that were Avengers or Thor related, and wanted Tom to autograph all of them to go into the auction. I dug in my messenger bag for his bag of sharpies, and Brian dumped the toys and other sundry onto the table. Tom signed everything, and Brian scooped them up, taking them to the auction table on stage. 

The auction finally got started, and I found my old seat next to the sound tech as Tom lurked around in the wings, eating his last banana and downing another bottle of water. The auction wasn’t as well attended as I had hoped, and hopefully Tom’s “surprise” entrance would make the place fill up with people wanting to take their money. I could feel Tom come to stand behind me, and I leaned over for my bag, offering a mint or gum to him once again. He grinned, taking a stick of gum, and waited to go on stage. I looked at the time on my phone; not long now. We only had a handful of hours until it was all over, and I was getting anxious, despite wanting very much to collapse. 

The emcee was going thru each item, coaxing as many bids as he could out of the attendees. There were DVDs, wall scrolls, and figurines; all signed by the actors that either portrayed or voiced them. He was a quarter of the way through the items when Tom decided to walk casually on stage, looking lost and adorably confused. I peeked out, hearing the surprised gasps and an occasional yelp from the crowd. He made his way over to the “startled” host, and the audience began to applaud. Tom explained that he was “passing by” and wanted to know if he could help in any way. I rolled my eyes and grinned, watching their little exchange. I also saw quite a number of the audience tear ass out of the auditorium, and a few others that were texting or making phone calls. Ooh, I hoped that meant they were telling people that were still at other parts of the convention to get their butts in here for this auction. And I was right. For the next ten minutes, the auditorium began to fill up with more con-goers, some even running to get a good seat to attend the auction that Tom Hiddleston was assisting.

Tom and the emcee went through the remaining items, Tom acting as his beautiful assistant. And when the bidding wasn’t going well, he would help coax more bids, and was successful every time. He was charming and flirty and had half of the attendees sighing, giggling, and reaching deep into their pockets to help with the charity. He could probably sell a glass of water to a drowning man, bless him. The last item wasn’t on the table, but Tom had been “persuaded” to record a voicemail message for the highest bidder, saying any of his lines from any of his characters to the highest bidder. This electrified the crowd, and the bidding began in earnest. As I watched the bidders compete, I noticed they were mostly female. I laughed to myself. Ah, behold the power of the Hiddleston. I idly wondered what they would choose, but looking at the crowd, I knew what they were after. They had to be after a piece of Loki. Not that I could blame them. I bit my lip; I also wondered if Tom would let a little bit of his Loki come out and play with me later. With that wicked thought, my arousal zoomed deep within my belly, churning with desperate release. I cleared my throat, stunned at my physical reaction to that little thought, and I told my fangirl to calm the hell down. 

The bidding had become fierce. Tom had the total well over two hundred dollars, and it showed no sign of stopping anytime soon. This was the highest anything had gone for, and I was tickled that Brian would have a successful auction thanks to Tom. It had narrowed down to two girls, one wearing an “I Love Tom Hiddleston, Get Over It” t-shirt, and the other cosplaying as Lady Loki. I giggled, seeing my prediction was mostly correct, and the girls were now standing up, bandying back and forth. Tom’s cheeks were flushed as he watched the girls, upping the amount to over three hundred dollars, and he ehehehe’d as they battled it out. The Lady Loki paused at three hundred fifty dollars, and the crowd went quiet. Tom took that opportunity to quietly take the mic from the emcee, and with a cheeky grin and in his most menacing Loki voice said, “Are you going to let this pathetic Midgardian win? You are a god; do not allow this dull creature -” and that’s all he got out before the Lady Loki surprised us all with a four hundred dollar bid. The crowd erupted, and the Get Over It girl threw up her hands in defeat, her face going quite red as she sat down heavily in her chair. Tom laughed, and the Lady Loki cosplayer went to the front of the stage into a waiting hug from Tom. I clapped, watching them embrace, and I was thankful for the millionth time that Brian had invited him. He handed the mic back to the emcee and sprinted out into the audience, going to the losing bidder and giving her a conciliatory squeeze. She sat back down heavily in her chair as Tom ran back up to the front of the stage, her cheeks fire engine red; her eyes were wide and she was taking obvious deep breaths.

The auction finished with thunderous applause, and Tom left the stage with a wave, the Lady Loki cosplayer’s hand in his, staring up at him in awe. I went to join them in the wings, holding out my hand for his gum, and handing him a water bottle. I disposed of his gum as he chatted with the pretty cosplayer, who introduced herself as Deidre, and he recorded her phone message after she slipped him her winning bid. Tom handed the money to me, and I walked it over to Brian, who was backstage as well, doing the final accounting with his charity accounting team and going over the final tallies of the weekend. 

After a few photos, and an autograph or two for Deidre, Tom and I sat backstage in the wings as the house crew tore down from the auction and got ready for closing ceremonies. Some of the remaining voice actors who had not left the event joined us backstage, and the wings became a small sea of talent, mingling and horsing around, waiting for the festivities to wind down. 

I sat in my chair as the house music played softly in the background, and took this opportunity to just sit and do nothing. I didn’t need to do much else; my official job was almost over. I watched Tom with the others; they were all tired and punchy, and Tom was no exception. It seemed he didn’t get much rest at this event, and I remarked silently on how tired he looked all weekend. Hopefully he would get some decent sleep tonight. Well, after we were done soaking a bit, and possibly finding new and interesting ways of entertaining ourselves in the privacy of his room. 

Finally, closing ceremonies began with thumping music and another closing PowerPoint presentation to go over all the events that had happened over the course of the event. After the presentation and the thanks to all the sponsors, the emcee asked Brian to come onstage to announce the totals of the charity. Brian seemed giddy, and he beamed as he announced that thanks to everyone’s generosity, they had raised well over eight thousand dollars. I was stunned. Brian normally would pull in around two thousand, and I knew exactly why he had done so well. The reason was standing behind me, his hand on my shoulder, watching along with me. I looked up at him, clapping along with everyone else, and Tom grinned quietly, his eyes closing in embarrassment. I stopped clapping long enough to reach up and pat his hand, and he opened his eyes, looked down at me, and winked. 

After Brian left the stage, it was time for the final line-up of the remaining actors. Same order as before, with Tom going last once more. His reception was the same; the crowd erupted with applause and loud shouts. He bowed once more, his hand on his heart, and thanked everyone for coming, and promised to see everyone again quite soon. The emcee asked for another round of applause for Tom, and he received a riotous standing ovation that lasted for a good few minutes. Tom looked embarrassed as all hell, his cheeks going quite pink, and he bowed deep and low again, waving at everyone and clapping with them. And with the emcee’s promise of seeing everyone next year, it was over. 

I stood up wearily and waited for Tom in the wings. He was walking back from the stage with the others, talking and shaking hands with the other actors. I pulled my bag over my shoulder and leaned against the table again, waiting. The house crew began to swarm over the stage as the house lights came up and they began tear-down of the stage. After the last of the actors had left, Tom walked up to me, and I stood up. He came right in front of me and wrapped me in his arms, and I went willingly. I didn’t care if anyone saw; I was tired and the show was over, and I was with Tom. We held each other for a moment, enjoying a job well done. My eyes closed, and I squeezed him harder as I felt his cheek rest on the top of my head. We pulled away after a moment and looked at each other with tired smiles.

“Well done, you,” I said, blinking away my exhaustion. 

Tom sighed, rubbing his hands up and down my arms, “Well done, yourself. Come, let’s get back, I’m starving, and I believe there is a tub with our names on it.” And with a wink and a smile from Tom, we left the convention center and back over to our room.


	23. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter XXIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dinner, and a show! ;) Expect a box of goodies, paperwork, dinner, and toe curling tub smut. Well, at least my toes curled writing it…enjoy!

We made it back to the hotel with minimal hassle. Some straggling attendees wanted photos with Tom before they left, and again, I obliged and helped take the shots for them. Afterwards, we rode up in the elevator to our room in exhausted silence, leaning against the other to hold each other up. As we arrived on our floor, I remembered I needed to get to the green room for Tom’s other bottle of whiskey. We parted ways in front of the elevator, and I went to the green room suite to see if it was still open. Thankfully, the doors were still open, and I found Matt behind the bar, loading a large box with all of the unopened snacks from the weekend. Hearing me, he looked up and smiled. “Hey there, come to forage for the leftovers?”

 

I laughed. “Sure, if you are offering. I was actually coming for Tom’s extra bottle of whiskey. But if you have anything you want to part with, I’ll take it back to his room for him.” 

 

Matt finished loading the box with all the goodies from the green room. He had put the rest of the veggies and fruit in there, along with a bag of unopened popcorn, pretzels, and a few bottles of liquor. And that’s all I saw from the top of the box. Who knew what else could have been lurking in the depths of our care package.

 

He picked up the box and loaded this onto a large brass hotel cart. He walked through the rooms, making a quick sweep to make sure nothing was left from the convention, and came back over to me. As we made to leave, Matt stopped and looked at me, his face crinkled with worry. “Rebecca. I, uh - well. Listen, I know what happened this weekend, with Julie. And I just wanted you to know that no one believes her. I know that for a fact.” 

 

I turned to Matt, looking at him in surprise. He smiled quietly and nodded. He knew. Of course he would know; he was a bartender and would have had the ability to hear and see everything that happened around him. I wondered just exactly how much he had seen, and heard…

 

“Did she say anything to you?” I asked, curious. 

 

Matt shook his head, grabbing the brass bars of the hotel cart, and leaning. “Of course she did, and I told her she shouldn’t talk about shit that wasn’t true. And I’ve had some of the others come and talk to me about it when I was pouring their drinks. They couldn’t believe it either, and were quick to shut her up when she tried to tell them otherwise. Babe, she did nothing but make herself look like an idiot. So no worries.” 

 

I smiled tiredly at him and patted his hand. “I had no idea. No one ever said anything to me. Thank you, Matt. I appreciate it.” 

 

Matt grinned and inclined his head, indicating we should go. I went ahead and held the suite door open for him as he wheeled the luggage cart to Tom’s room for me. Arriving, I let myself into the room, and Matt rolled our care package in. Tom was in one of the chairs, his feet propped up and on his computer. Seeing us, he set his laptop on the low table in front of the couch and walked over to see what we had delivered. 

 

Matt grabbed the heavy box and walked it over to our dining table. “Delivery for you, Mr. Hiddleston. Leftovers from the green room, with my compliments, including your bottle of whiskey, sir,” Matt said, smiling and shaking Tom’s hand after he set the box down.

 

“Ah, thanks, man. Not sure I’ll finish it, but I appreciate you bringing it over,” Tom said, pulling from their handshake and clapping him on the shoulder.

 

“No problem. It was a pleasure meeting you, Tom, and I hope I get to work with you in the future.”

 

“Likewise. I had an excellent time; perhaps next year, eh?” Tom said, his face lighting with a genuine smile. 

 

“That would be amazing. See you later,” Matt said, and walked to Tom’s door. 

I followed and hugged him goodbye. “Thank you, for everything, Matt,” I whispered in his ear, and kissed his cheek. 

I turned and Tom was digging through the box that Matt had delivered. He pulled out the bags of unopened popcorn, pretzels, and assorted potato chips. I peeked in on the side to see what else could be hiding at the bottom. He also pulled out a bag of fresh vegetables, a box of crackers, a few packages of cheese, and a box of unopened granola bars.

 

“Smashing! We can eat for a week!” Tom laughed as he continued pulling out a package of chocolate bars and a bag of apples. I pulled out a bottle of sweet white wine, along with his extra bottle of Jameson. Tom’s eyes lit up, seeing the wine, and I grinned at him as I walked this to his kitchen and slid it into the fridge for later.

 

“Oh ho ho! Amazing!” I heard Tom say behind me. Coming back around to the table, I saw in his hands a package of unopened chocolate covered Hobnob’s, and I giggled.

 

“You are going to share some of those with me later?” I asked, my hand on my hip, watching his eyes light up like a four year old.

 

“Goodness, I’m not sure. Maybe.” He grinned at me and took his biscuits over to his seat in his chair with this laptop. I laughed and put away the contents of the box in his kitchen. He was right; we wouldn’t go hungry.

 

After I put all of our bounty away, I went to sit on the couch next to the chair he was in. He was munching on one of his beloved Hobnob’s and looking at something on his computer. I had put my feet up on the coffee table, when someone knocked on our door. I hauled my tired body off the couch and went to see who it was. I peeked through the peephole and saw it was Brian. The paperwork! I let him in, and he walked over to the seating area, plopping down tiredly after shaking Tom’s hand in greeting. I went to my messenger bag and got Tom’s binder with his legal paperwork, pulling out the forms he needed to sign. I had a fleeting memory of handing this to him on our first day in this room, and I smiled secretly to myself. That seemed like a hundred years ago when I was all nerves and embarrassed smiles, when we had just met. I got a pen out of the bag and marked all the lines he needed to sign as Tom and Brian chatted briefly.

 

“Good show?” Tom inquired politely. 

 

Brian ran a hand through his bright red hair and sighed, smiling. “Oh yeah, it was amazing. And all of my thanks to you, my man. Wow, I had no idea we would raise so much money for our charity; thank you for that.”

 

Tom, adorably embarrassed, looked away and grinned. “No, I can’t take all the credit. It was an excellent show, and I’ve had a blast. Thank you for inviting me.” 

 

I went and placed the paperwork on the table in front of Tom, and handed him my pen. As he signed, I explained all of the tax forms to him as he signed his name, making sure he understood that he wasn’t signing his life away. Finished, I slipped the completed paperwork into the binder and handed it back to Brian. I was officially done for this event, and all of the loose ends had been tied up, except of course my impending taxi service on Tuesday, but I wasn’t going to think about that.

 

Taking the binder, Brian stood and held out his hand to Tom again. “Maybe I can persuade you to come back next year, if you are available.” 

 

Tom stood and shook Brian’s hand one more time. “Absolutely! If I’m free, and I’m welcome back, I’d love to return.”

 

“Oh, dude. You have an open invitation until the end of time. You just give me a heads up when you’re coming,” Brian said, laughing.

 

“On one condition, though,” Tom said, pulling his hand from Brian's and looking at him seriously. “If you can guarantee that Rebecca will be available to be my personal assistant, then it is a deal.” 

 

I perked up at this. I looked at Tom; his eyes were on me and revealed nothing as he looked at me. He showed only the quietest admiration and gratitude as he watched me. I swallowed and grinned shyly, looking away. I could feel my cheeks go red, and tried to look as casual as possible.

 

“That, Mr. Hiddleston, I can guarantee. You have a deal,” Brian said, clapping Tom on the shoulder and making his way to the door. I followed him, and Brian took me in his arms as Matt had done a few moments before.

 

“I love you, my friend. Thank you for all you’ve done for me this weekend,” I said into his ear as I held onto Brian.

 

He kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear, “No, I love you, and you are the one who deserves my thanks. You put up with a tremendous amount of bullshit at this show, and you handled it like a champ. You are awesome. And don’t forget, I do owe you one, or two, or five. Have a good time, and I’ll call you Wednesday, ok?” And with that, Brian left.

 

I shut the door to our room and sighed heavily. It was all over, and part of me was really sad. Another job well done. It had its ups and downs, but overall, it was an excellent show, and I was sorry it was finished. I turned from the door and saw Tom, standing behind the couch, his arms open and waiting for me. I went quickly to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and burrowing my head against his shoulder. 

 

“So, are you hungry, my love?” Tom asked against my hair. I hadn’t realized, but as soon as he said it, my tummy grumbled in response. He laughed and squeezed me tighter against him. “I would say you are. Why don’t you go upstairs and unpack, and let me order room service? Then when you are done, we’ll eat, and then we’ll fill that tub and find ways to entertain each other, alright?” 

 

I shifted in his arms, looking up at him. I wasn’t his handler or his assistant any longer. It was just Tom and me. I smiled and went on tiptoe, kissing him gently on the lips. “Absolutely.”

 

I pulled away and headed upstairs to unpack the remainder of my clean clothes into his empty drawers. I stowed my suitcase away in his closet, throwing my shoes in there as well. Making sure I had everything put away to my liking, I headed back downstairs and sat on the couch next to Tom. I slipped off my shoes and finally put my feet up on the coffee table, leaning against him as he worked on his computer. I didn’t look to see what he was up to; my eyes were closed as I lay my head on his shoulder. I was exhausted, and I just wanted to curl around Tom and sleep, but I knew I had to eat, and once I ate, I knew I’d feel better once we were both naked and wet in his huge tub.

 

I wasn’t sure how long I sat with my head on his shoulder, but much later, Tom woke me gently to let me know that supper had arrived. I got off the couch, bleary eyed, and made my way over to the dining table. He had set up our places, and I smiled sleepily. Tom had ordered the same meal for us both; two filets with fresh steamed veggies and warm crusty rolls on the side. He had also had a bottle of red wine sent up with our order, and two glasses had already been poured for our meals. I sat in the chair that he had pulled out for me and waited for him to take his own seat before devouring my steak. 

 

Supper was a quiet affair. I asked him his favorite moments from the event, and he told me he enjoyed the dance, his panels, and the charity auction. I grinned at him as I sipped my wine with dinner, and luckily, the food was helping to wake me up. 

 

“What was your favorite part, Rebecca?” Tom asked, lifting his wine and taking his own sip. He had finished his meal and was leaning back in his chair as he watched me over his glass. I took a bite of zucchini and chewed, thinking. I thought over the weekend, over all of the events we had attended, and I smiled.

 

“Every time you went on stage. Watching you get a little nervous, and then when you got out there, the screams of love and excitement that roared through that convention center. And seeing your face light up with your secret, pleased little smile. THAT. That was my favorite part from the event,” I replied, watching him. He smiled shyly and looked away, his cheeks pinking from embarrassment. His humility was always evident, and endeared me to him even more, if that was possible.

 

He placed his glass on the table next to his plate and folded his hands in his lap. “Well, you flatter me, truly.”

 

“It’s true. That moment is magical, and I loved seeing it. And if Brian hadn’t asked me to be your handler, I would have been out there myself, if I knew you were going to be here this weekend, that is. I’m glad I answered my phone when Brian called me. I wasn’t going to, did you know that?” I asked.

 

Tom looked up at me, his blue eyes dark, and watched me quietly. I put down my fork, taking a brief sip of my wine. He sat up and leaned over the table, taking my hand in his. His fingers laced through mine, his thumb rubbing softly over the center of my palm.

 

“I’m glad you answered your phone, my love. I would never have met you, and that would have been a terrible tragedy.” Tom said this, his voice very serious once more. I closed my eyes briefly, the wine making my limbs warm and liquidy. I smiled at him, bringing his hand to my lips, and I kissed his fingers, bringing his hand to my cheek and squeezing.

 

“I’m glad I answered my phone too,” I whispered, my throat squeezed with emotion. We watched the other quietly; under the spell of exhaustion, a hot meal, and very red wine.

 

Tom pulled away from me and stood up from his chair, holding out his hand. “Come. I believe there is an empty tub upstairs awaiting our service.”

I took his hand and stood, keeping my eyes on him. “Go on up and start filling it. I’ll clean up down here, and I’ll be up as soon as I’m done.” He smiled, kissing me on the nose, and then proceeded upstairs.

An unexpected knock on our door heralded yet another visitor. I turned, wondering if I should go answer it, but Tom halted his trip to the stairs to go to the door as I turned away and began organizing our empty dinner plates. Tom leaned between the door and the wall, blocking whoever was at the door, and I glanced over a few times, wondering who was at the door. 

 

He shut the door and turned, his right hand deep in his pocket and a hand running through his hair; he was smiling quietly to himself. I looked at him, my eyebrow raised in inquiry.

 

Tom waved me away, his smile deepening, “It was Nick, delivering another small gift from a fan that he had discovered backstage.” He raised his eyebrows, turning to the stairs, and skipped up to the sleeping room.

I cleaned up after our supper, stacking our plates on the cart that had brought them to us. I rolled this outside our door, and then went to take the half finished bottle of wine and our empty glasses to the kitchen. I gave our glasses a good rinse and then turned them over to dry next to the sink. We would need these later.

 

I shut off all the lights downstairs, after I double locked our doors and put out the Do Not Disturb placard. I smiled at the memory of doing this the other night, and a thrill of desire wiggled its way through me. I went over to the windows of his room and shut all the curtains. I wasn’t going to be awakened cheerfully by glaring sunlight, not tomorrow morning. I wanted to get some good sleep, and I didn’t need a reminder of the morning, and our last remaining hours together. After shutting the curtains, I made my way up his stairs in the dark to my waiting tub, and to Tom.

 

The water was roaring into the tub, and Tom was in the bathroom, whistling once more. I went to the bathroom, leaning on the doorjamb, and watched Tom place two large towels on the edge of the tub. He was also quite naked. Hearing me, he looked up and smiled, his brows furrowing, and he frowned as he padded over to me. I watched him, taking in this glorious naked sight, not hiding the appreciation on my face one bit. 

 

“You, my darling, are quite overdressed,” Tom said, coming over to me, finally, and pressing his body against mine. I ran my hands up his arms and over his shoulders and down his back, enjoying all the bare skin at my indulgence. He shivered involuntarily and let out a small, uncharacteristic giggle as I ran my fingers lightly over his smooth skin, causing gooseflesh to rise on his back. 

 

“Goodness, it seems that I am quite overdressed. Care to remedy that, Mr. Hiddleston?” I asked, my head tilting with my inquiry. He smiled with a suppressed laugh, and then sobered quickly. He moaned low in his throat, and proceeded to unbutton my blouse, sliding it off of my shoulders.

 

I didn’t take my eyes off him, even when he pulled off my white tank top and unbuttoned my jeans, sliding them down and over my hips. I stepped out of them, kicking them behind me into our room. The tub had finally finished filling, and Tom leaned away, shutting off the taps. He quickly came back to me, where I was standing in the doorway, still in my bra and undies. I moved closer to him as he wrapped his arms around me, and with a quick twist, my bra was unclasped. He reached up and slid the straps off one side, dipping his head and placing a kiss on my shoulder. His lips were warm, and I leaned my cheek into the top of his head. Tom raised his head, planted a quick kiss on my nose, and then proceeded to slip the other strap off the other side, giving me another kiss to match the other side. He reached for the center of my bra and pulled this off me, tossing it over my head and into the murky depths of our bedroom. After he had disposed of my offending lingerie, he looked at me, his eyebrow rising with a mischievous grin, and then slowly sank to his knees onto the tile of the bathroom. I watched him take each of my breasts in his hands, his mouth covering each nipple in turn, causing them to harden impossibly; all the while, his eyes never left mine. My breath was shallow, and the intensity with which he was looking up at me almost forced me to stop breathing altogether. Tom was lazy and thorough; making sure that, with each slow and wet taste, each of my nipples was hardened and excited enough to his liking. 

 

After almost driving me mad with his mouth on my breasts, he slid his tongue down the slope of my belly, hooking his fingers into my undies, and sliding my last remaining garment over my hips and on to the floor. Again, I stepped out of these and kicked them behind me into our room. His eyes left mine and they fluttered closed as he kissed the crook of my leg; his tongue slipping through his lips and sliding along my inner thigh. Steamy memories from this morning’s eventful shower rushed through me, and I laced my fingers through his hair and held him to me. He kissed his way from one side to the other, all the while his tongue sliding and tasting my skin. I was almost breathless, my head hung back, and my eyes closed in bliss. I suddenly felt him stand up in front of me, and I lifted my head and looked at him through hooded eyes.

 

He smiled down at me and said, “Come, let’s get you washed up. I plan on tasting you tonight, my darling, and I want you clean and ready for me.” A breathy moan escaped me involuntarily, and he led me over and into the steamy water of the waiting tub.

 

The water felt amazing; it was quite hot, and my body relaxed into its swirling warmth. Tom had turned the jets on its lowest setting, causing bubbles to rise and pop around us. There were also a few lower jets that were pulsing away, causing the water to purl and roll. He sat on one side of the tub, and pulled me to him. I sat on his lap in the water, his arms around my waist. I leaned against him, my cheek next to his, and I found a jet that was shooting near my foot. I placed both my feet against the jet, and it pounded on the soles of my sore feet. I sighed deeply, feeling his strong warm arms around me, and my feet getting the hell beat out of them with the force of the water. I didn’t know if it got any better than this. 

Our legs slid against each other’s in the water as his hands ran over the length of my belly and my breasts. I wrapped an arm up and around his neck to hang on and not drown. I could feel his cock harden against my back, and I took a deep shaky breath as I turned to face him. His lips were open, and very wet, and waiting for my kiss. I slid my tongue into his waiting mouth and covered his lips with my own. One of his hands slid up and covered one of my breasts, his fingers pinching gently and teasing one of my nipples, as the other slithered lower down my belly, his fingers sliding slowly down between my legs, and slipping inside of me. He had me anchored to his hand; his palm pressed gently into my pubic bone, his thumb rubbing gently over my clit, his fingers sliding in and out of me. I sighed into his mouth, breaking our kiss, and my head pressed back into his shoulder as he made love to me with his deft and talented hand. After all of his teasing during our morning shower, and spending the entire day not able to touch the other, I was quick with my response. I moved against him, my hips thrusting desperately against his hand as I felt his teeth nip the flesh of my cheek. I cried out with the swiftness in which I came, my cheek pressed hard into his, causing the water around us to threaten to spill over the edge of the tub. As I came back to my senses, I heard him chuckle low in my ear.

 

“Careful, we don’t want a tsunami to threaten the neighbors below us,” Tom said, placing a kiss behind my ear. I laughed, feeling my muscles squeeze around his fingers that had not slipped out of me yet. He didn’t pull away; he held me as I stopped laughing, his fingers moving gently and lazily exploring me. 

 

“No,” I said in between sighs and tiny gasps, “We - we wouldn’t want that...” I was losing the ability to think straight. He kept touching me, his fingers slipping in and out and around me, and I could feel my arousal build again. I felt my nipples harden in the water, and he slid his hands over them both, making sure they were hard again. He chuckled against my ear and finally slid his hand out of me, slipping it up my belly to rest around my waist. I turned in his arms and wrapped my arms around his neck. He looked smug and pleased as hell, and I narrowed my eyes at him.

 

“Did you enjoy that?” I asked. 

 

Tom laughed again, his arms circling around me. “Oh, my clever darling, shouldn’t I be asking you that question?” His eyes widened suggestively, and I splashed him. He laughed his glorious ehehehe, and pulled me closer to him. 

“If you must know, yes, I did enjoy that, immensely,” I said, watching him as I slipped an arm from around his neck and slid it slowly down his chest, over his smooth belly, and then wrapped my fingers around his erection. “However, I was just thinking, how in the world could I return the favor without drowning?” Tom inhaled sharply, his mouth dropping open slightly, and then settling into a laughing smile. I just grinned up at him as I rubbed my thumb on the underside of the tip, making little strokes as my fingers lightly pulsed and slid around him. His eyes fluttered closed, and he dropped his head back on the edge of the tub as I continued to stroke him, his arms tightening around me as his whole body began to move and wriggle under my touch. I felt brave, having this sort of power of him; the same power he had over me with just a look or a smile. And here he was, in this tub with me, trusting me enough to hold onto the source of so many of my fantasies and desires. I bit my lip to hide a wickedly pleased smile as he pulled his head up to look at me, his eyes smoldering with lust, as my hand slipped up and down the length of him.

 

“Oh, we can’t have that. No drowning for you; I have plans for you later. Here, let me help,” Tom said, his eyes clearing enough to gently push me away, and then pull himself up to sit on the edge of the tub. His knees parted, and he crooked his finger at me, beckoning me to him with a villainous grin. Ooh, I recognized this look, and I paddled back over to him, kneeling in the water on the seat he had just vacated. I slid between his wet knees and wrapped my hand around him once more, his cock jumping in excited greeting. Tom cupped my face and pulled me up to him, his mouth covering mine in a fervent kiss, sighing into my mouth as my thumb stroked up and down the length of him once more. I could feel his knees part even wider away from me and his hips thrust gently towards me. I broke our kiss and continued my own kisses down the side of his jaw and to the side of his neck, my tongue sliding out to taste the three freckle triangle I had seen in so many photos. I moaned low in my throat as I did this, my teeth grazing the flesh of his neck as I continued my way down his chest, all the while slipping and sliding my very wet fingers up and down his cock. His fingers were wrapped deep in my wet hair, and his breathing was coming in sharp gasps as I slithered my tongue over the skin of his chest, stopping to circle and nibble gently on one of his nipples. Tom inhaled sharply, his fingers tightening around my head and holding me still to continue laving the skin of his bare chest. I kissed and nibbled my way over to his other nipple and he moaned quietly, his body beginning to move under me in earnest. I was fueled by the power I held over this man, and I was getting drunk with my absolute control. No other man I had ever been with had allowed me free reign over their bodies, never abdicating anything to me, and I felt myself swell, and get very warm and wet with my own arousal. 

 

I decided I was done teasing him, so I moved my lips and my attention to the main attraction. I slid my fingers down to the base of his cock and slithered my tongue on the underside of his tip as I had with my thumb moments ago. Tom gasped as my tongue ran slowly up and down the underside length of him, his hands leaving my hair and leaning back against the wall surrounding the tub. I slipped my tongue from the base up to his tip, my eyes opening and rolling up to look at his face as I held onto him, my fingers pulsing gently around him. His breath was coming in deep, shaky gasps, and his mouth was open, his cheeks flushed all the way down the skin of his chest and over his belly. Watching him respond to my touch made my own breath quicken. I kept my eyes on him as I opened my mouth, my tongue sliding out to circle the tip once more, and then covered him with my very wet lips. His eyes widened briefly, his eyebrows raised, and then his eyes flickered closed, his head dropping back against the wall. I held onto the base of him as I took as much of his cock as I could deep into my mouth, my tongue sliding along the length of him. His hips began thrusting towards me as I began to tighten my grip around him and pulled him towards my mouth. I felt him engorge, getting even harder within my mouth, and I kept my lips around him, my tongue undulating against the underside of him, and sucked gently. Tom moaned deep in his chest, his hips thrusting towards me quickly, and I increased the pressure of my tongue and lips, while increasing the speed of my hand around him. He suddenly went very still, and with a high pitched gasp, I felt his release pulse into my mouth. I stopped moving my hand and opted to grip him tightly as I rolled my tongue along the length of him in my mouth, swallowing his orgasm. 

 

After he had finished coming, he opened his dazed eyes and looked down at me. I never took my eyes off of him, watching his beautiful, wet face in the throes of passion. He reached for me, his fingers sliding deep in my hair, and pulled me up to his waiting kiss. His tongue slipped deep into my mouth, tasting our good work, and the fact that he wasn’t grossed out about his own fluids excited me even further. I kept my hand around him as he kissed me, idly slipping my hand gently around the length of him, causing him to jump and twitch with the sensitivity of his cock after his orgasm; his reaction was precious as hell, and I giggled evilly against his mouth. 

 

Tom slipped back into the warm water, neither of us breaking our hold on the other. He pulled me to him, his cheek rubbing against mine as he wrapped an arm around my waist. “My god, woman. Where did you learn how to do that?” He asked. I laughed unexpectedly; confused that he would ask me this. The man wasn’t a monk, and I knew for a fact he had to have had many women do the exact same thing that I had just done. And I wasn’t that experienced at doing this, and how I performed couldn’t have been that impressive.

I shrugged. “I have no idea; it’s just how I was taught.” I smiled sheepishly at him. I didn’t know if it would have been appropriate to share with him that as I had hung out with Brian, and all of our other friends back in the day, when we would go out to the clubs, we would have lively conversations over Bloody Mary’s and gin and tonic’s about the proper techniques of performing a decent blow job on a man. I smiled innocently at him as he pulled me to him, exhaling quickly and shaking his head at me.

 

“Well, my love, you keep that up and I’m not sure I will ever leave,” he said, and then covered my lips in another breathless kiss. Oh Christ, if only what he said was true... My heart clenched with the reminder of his departure, and I returned his kiss, forgetting that line of dark thought. Not tonight; no thoughts of the future. Just now. We had to live in this moment, and I planned on living as much as possible with him.


	24. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter XXIV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The day after a convention is tough, you are exhausted, but still riding the high from the weekend. I hope you enjoy Monday. :) Just a teensy bit of smut…and possibly a huge mistake. ;)

We drained the tub a bit so we could replace what was left with hot water to warm it back up. Tom turned on the jets to their full power, and we spent the remainder of our time chatting and laughing and touching as we pressed our feet and our backs up against the jets to pound away at our aching muscles. We sat together, me on his lap as we held hands, and slid our feet against the other, giggling about something from the weekend, or sharing more of our past with the other. We didn’t talk about the future; we avoided that topic like the plague. I was happy to just sit with him as he held me, his wet cheek against mine as he told me small, vague details about some of his upcoming projects. I was excited he was getting so many jobs, and I shared with him how proud I was that after all his hard work and dedication and never giving up, that it was finally paying off for him. Tom would roll his eyes, embarrassed, and then would squeeze me to him in silent gratitude. 

 

I told him more about my grandparents; how my British grandfather had met my much younger grandmother when he was stationed at a military base during the Second World War. This bit of information intrigued him, and I continued the love story of my grandparents, and how, after the war, they had kept in touch, even after failed first marriages for them both, and had finally, years later, married and immigrated to America. I told him how they had had their first child in the early fifties, and how my father and mother had had me late, after living many years as a young married couple. I explained I had come from a lineage of travelers, of people who had enjoyed life and new adventures, and how I was severely disappointing my genetics by not doing the same thing. He assured me that it was never too late as he held onto me, and I hoped silently that he was right. 

 

After successfully turning into proper soup meat, our skin all pruny and puckered, we drained the tub and dried off. It was getting late, and the busy and eventful weekend both wore on us. We padded to our bed and crawled in, both of us falling fast asleep.

I was awakened in the middle of the night with a warm roving hand skimming over my breasts, causing my nipples to harden under his touch. I turned to him in the darkness, only this time, I took control, pushing him back into his pillows and folding my fingers through his, holding them over his head. I slid eagerly on top of his erection and made love to him as he had done with me two nights previous. Holding his hands to make sure he couldn’t move to touch me, I dipped my head and bit and sucked at the skin on his neck and chest until he cried out, coming before me. He remained hard inside of me, and I slid up and down the length of him until my own eventual release. Slumping against him after I was finished, I slid my legs down the length of his, and we fell back asleep, with his released arms wrapping around me, his cock deep within me, and my head cradled on his shoulder.

 

I woke the next morning with a warm hand sliding down the center of my naked back, and I smiled sleepily. I was on my stomach; my hair in a riotous tangle haloed around my head. I shoved it away and looked up at a smiling Tom sitting on the edge of my bed. He was framed by sunlight and fully dressed, and I groaned from the brightness of the new day.

 

“I thought I shut those damned drapes last night,” I said, sliding towards him and wrapping my arms awkwardly around his hips. 

 

Tom chuckled, his hand smoothing more of my hair away from my face as I looked up at him, my cheek resting on his thigh. “You did. I opened them when I woke this morning. I thought you’d be ready for breakfast.” 

 

I sighed and blinked to wake up a bit more. “I don’t know, are you on the menu?” I asked, grinning up at him. 

Tom laughed again, leaning down and placing a kiss on my forehead. “My beautiful, insatiable darling. Perhaps later. I have some work that needs my attention this morning. I took the liberty of ordering breakfast for us. I hope you don’t mind; I’ve eaten already, but I placed yours in the microwave to keep it warm.”

I rolled away from him onto my back and took a deep breath. “What time is it?” I asked.

“Half past nine. I’ve been up for a bit already, but I wanted to let you sleep in. Your breakfast is waiting for you, when you are ready,” he said, leaning over and kissing each of my naked breasts in turn, his lips and tongue waking my nipples and hardening them into full alert before he rose from the bed and left me with a cheeky wink.

I watched him walk down the short walkway and disappear down the stairs before I rolled over in the tangled sheets with a sexually frustrated moan. He was going to be the death of me after this weekend. I hadn’t been so sexually aroused by any other man, other than him. The pleasant soreness between my legs after all of our frequent interludes didn’t deter me. I wanted him again.

 

Unsatisfied, I resigned myself to getting out of this bed and beginning my day with him. I shuffled to the bathroom and took care of my morning necessaries. After, I got dressed in my last Loki shirt, my emerald green God of Mischief t-shirt and a pair of black leggings, and made my way downstairs for breakfast.

 

Tom was sitting at the dining table on his computer, reading something on his screen, and I went to him for our morning kiss. I ruffled his hair, messing up his curls, and walked away as he grinned, running his hand through his hair to get them back under some semblance of control. I opened the microwave and saw that he had ordered me the original breakfast that I had had for our first morning together. Steak and eggs and roast potatoes. I punched in the time to reheat my meal, and went to the table to pour a cup of coffee. I was grateful he hadn’t emptied the carafe as I stirred in my cream and sugar. After my plate was through reheating, I went to retrieve it, and sat back down and ate, watching him work. I wasn’t sure what he was up to this morning, but he was certainly focused on whatever it was. 

 

I finished my breakfast and decided to fire up my laptop as well. I needed to email work and let them know I wouldn’t be in this afternoon, or for the next few days. I had originally taken this morning off, giving myself a chance to sleep in and rest from my originally planned trip, but as I knew I had more days of paid time off, I knew I’d need Wednesday to myself as well. I wasn’t sure I would be able to concentrate at work after this amazing weekend, and then have to come to terms with driving Tom to the airport tomorrow and go through that trauma. I felt a bit of panic tear through me, and I forced that away from me, yet again. I couldn't think about that, but I would need to think about it when the time came. No need to get weepy and upset when it hasn’t happened, not yet. Not when he was still sitting across from me, typing furiously, his tongue peeking through his lips in concentration.

 

I emailed my boss, letting her know I would be in on Thursday, and then proceeded to check my email for anything that needed my attention. There wasn’t much. I scrolled through Facebook, getting quickly bored with status updates and funny cat photos and inspirational quotes. After I had exhausted everything I needed to do on my computer, I powered down my laptop and found myself with nothing to do. If I was home, I would do my laundry and maybe watch TV or read, but with Tom working on god knows what, I didn’t want to disturb him.

 

I cleaned up my breakfast dishes, rinsing them and setting them next to the sink since I didn’t see the cart that had brought up our breakfast. I left Tom at the dining table as I went up and pittered about, going through all of my dirty laundry and packing it away into one of the plastic bags that hung in the closet for such things. After packing this away into my carry-on, I also packed away some of the shoes I wouldn’t be wearing for the rest of my time here. I left out my mary jane’s and my converse just in case, and zipped up my suitcase and placed it back on the top shelf of the closet. All of this fussing about took no more than thirty minutes, and I was left once again with not much to do. I felt lost. I wanted to spend my remaining free time with Tom, but again, I didn’t want to bug him. However, he may have wanted me to be near him as he worked, as evidenced a few days ago when he asked me to hover over him, before our relationship had ramped into overdrive. I smiled to myself and went back downstairs to sit on the couch in case he needed me to hover.

Seeing me coming back down the stairs, Tom looked up, grinning at me, and got up from the table. He walked over to me and wrapped me in a huge hug, rubbing my back and laying his head against mine.

 

“Hey, I know it’s a bit far off, but did you want to go out for dinner tonight?” He asked. Ooh, leave the hotel for dinner?

“Sure. Anything in particular?” I asked, looking up at him. Tom looked up at the ceiling for his answer, his blue green eyes round and brows furrowed in thought. He finally looked down at me, placing his forehead against mine, and smiled.

 

“You choose. You know this city better than I do. I’ll leave it up to you.” 

It was my turn to look thoughtful, and then I remembered. I had taken one of the voice actors to an authentic Indian restaurant a few years ago for their spicy vegetarian curry, and I fell in love with the place. I wondered if he would enjoy something spicy tonight. “I know just the place. It’s not far from here, but we’d still need to drive to get there. How’s does a little Hindustani kana sound?” I asked.

 

Tom’s eyes lit up and he grinned. “It sounds amazing; I could go for a decent curry.”

I laughed, squeezing him to me. “Well, I’m not sure it’s quite as good as back home for you, but I’m sure it will still be fantastic, even if it doesn’t live up to your high British standards.”

“Boo, whatever. I’m looking forward to it.” And with that, he kissed me quickly on the lips and went back to work. And, now that I knew we had plans for the night, I had work to do as well.

 

I went back upstairs and went through all of my clothes for something nice to wear. It wasn’t a dressy place, but I wanted to look nice for our last evening together. I decided on the last remaining blouse that I had packed. It was a deep emerald floral Oriental wrap blouse, and I decided to wear this with my black skinny jeans and my kitten heels. I set out my ensemble, and after pulling out the jeans from my suitcase, I realized I really should give all of my jeans and unmentionables a good wash before wearing them again. I gathered most of my dirty clothes, slipped on my shoes, and told Tom I was off on laundry duty. 

I spent the next hour or so washing my clothes and drying them down in the hotel laundry. The hotel was quiet, save for a few straggling attendees and a few volunteers carrying assorted boxes out of the lobby and into their waiting cars. I was surprised I didn’t see any of the co-director’s, despite Brian telling me none of them would be available today, and I hoped that they got some much needed rest from the event this weekend. As I waited for my clothes to dry, I indulged in scrolling through my Tumblr on my phone. Being many floors away from Tom, I felt comfortable enough to be able to do this, but at the same time, I felt like a wicked child looking at a stolen Victoria’s Secret catalogue. I scrolled through my dash and giggled maniacally, in turn biting my lip and turning shades of red. All I could think of as I scrolled were the very real faces I had seen through my weekend with him. I had to stop. It was too much. I shutdown my app and cackled quietly to myself in the small laundry room, thinking I shouldn’t do that again, especially when I had the real thing waiting for me up in our hotel room.

With all of my laundry finished, I trekked back upstairs for a shower, and to begin getting ready for the evening. It was well after lunch time, and my tummy was rumbling again. Coming into the room with my towel wrapped laundry, I saw Tom had gotten hungry as well. He had an assortment of crackers, cheeses, fruit, and a few of the chocolates scattered around the table around his laptop. I deposited my laundry on the bed upstairs and came back down, grabbing an apple, a few pieces of string cheese, the bag of unopened popcorn, and went back upstairs, all after a quick yet thorough welcome back kiss from my busy Tom.

 

I snacked as I folded my laundry, packing away my clean clothes into my carry-on, and leaving out only what I needed for the evening. I still had some t-shirts in my dirty clothes bag, but I would wait to do those when I got home. 

I spent the next few hours taking a leisurely shower, taking my time with my razor, and making sure I was clean and properly moisturized. I then plugged in my curling iron one last time as I blow dried my hair, and began the tedious process of curling my stick straight hair. This arduous task took me the good part of an hour, and I was happy that my hair had decided to cooperate with me for once. I ran my fingers through my ringlets so they fell in waves around my face, and I pinned up the sides, pulling out a few strands to curl in front of my ears. I then pulled out the tiny gold hoop earrings that I always wore, and replaced these with the emerald studs my father had given me last Christmas. After futzing with my hair, I put on my makeup for the evening, taking my time yet again and making sure I got everything perfect. I didn’t wear makeup in my normal day to day routine, and it was always a crapshoot if I could get my face to look the way I wanted it to.

Tom never came up to see what I was up to. I heard him make a few phone calls, but I never listened in. What he needed to talk about wasn’t any of my business, and I didn’t want to intrude. After I was done with my hair and makeup, I snacked again on some of the popcorn and lay on our bed in my towel, waiting a bit before getting dressed for the evening. I turned on the TV, having absolutely nothing else left to do but wait for this evening. I flipped through some of the news channels, and then finally landed on a movie channel showing a Baz Luhrman movie. I munched on my popcorn, and about halfway through the feature, Tom came trudging up the steps and made his way over to his side of the bed. He plopped next to me, resting his head on my bare shoulder, sighing heavily.

“Damn, I have so much work to do when I get back home, it’s not even funny,” he said, reaching for my half empty bag of popcorn and taking a handful. “What are you watching?”

 

“Romeo + Juliet. It’s one of my favorites from Baz’s Red Curtain movies,” I answered, taking a drink from my water bottle. 

 

Tom munched his handful of popcorn quietly. “I’d love to work with him; his vision and ability to weave a classic story visual with modern music is timeless and amazing. Did you enjoy Gatsby?” He asked, looking up at me as he finished chewing.

 

“Oh yes, I loved it. Carey was so beautiful in that movie; so beautiful and ethereal, so fragile. I wished I looked like her,” I answered wistfully, taking another handful of popcorn out of my bag. 

 

“Mmm,” was all Tom said, his eyebrows raising suggestively and privately, and finished the popcorn left in his hand. I turned to him, biting my lower lip to keep from grinning. I knew they knew each other, and I also knew there was speculation that they knew each other much more intimately than had been reported or let on. I narrowed my eyes at him as he recovered from whatever memory was flitting through his mind, and I giggled quietly to myself. 

Tom turned to look up at me, his face a mask of innocence and inquiry. “What?” He asked. I looked down at him in mock surprise, and I shrugged as I took another drink from my water bottle, smiling as innocently as possible. I failed. Tom sat up cross legged and scooted next to me, cutting his eyes at me in suspicion. He said nothing.

“What nothing. I didn’t say anything. I only mentioned that I wished I looked like her. Take that as you will. I wasn’t implying anything. It was the look on your face that I was giggling at,” I said, handing him my water bottle for his own drink. He took it, still looking at me, and took a quick sip, then handed the bottle back to me. I took it and winked at him. “Anyway, you all done with your business down there?” I asked, changing the obviously awkward topic. 

He nodded. “Yes, for now. I have a ton of meetings to attend when I get home before all the business of the movie promotion gets started, let alone getting packed and all of my personal things settled for when I start travelling. I’ll only be home a day or two before we whisk off for the movie premiere in Iceland. Then after that, I’ll be on the road for another few weeks travelling through Europe and Asia, and then back to LA for the American premiere.” Tom looked at me; his eyes seemed tired, but excited. I envied him. I wished idly that I could go with him, but I knew that wasn’t possible. I smiled up at him, my strained attempt at a smile not reaching my eyes. Tom was quiet as he watched me struggling, and he moved closer to me, sliding his arm around my shoulders and pulling me against him. “I know. I wish you could come with me as well,” he said in a whisper at the top of my head. I felt my eyes prick with my expected tears, and I whisked them away as quickly as they came. I nodded my head in acknowledgement and rubbed his tummy. We lay together, with the squished bag of forgotten popcorn between us, and silently finished the film together, our thoughts swirling quietly to ourselves.

 

It was getting on to after five pm, and after the movie was over, Tom got up and began getting cleaned up for our dinner date. I dressed as he showered, pulling on my jeans and my blouse. I went into the bathroom as he was shaving, and spritzed a bit of my body spray. I left shortly after, but not before placing a kiss on his shoulder as he finished shaving, and slipped into my black kitten heels. I was ready to go. I sat on the bed and waited as Tom got dressed. He decided to wear black trousers and a white button up shirt with his royal blue sports coat and black dress shoes. I didn’t understand how he managed to always look so elegant, but he was, after all, Tom, for Christ’s sake. After tying his shoes, he was ready as well.

 

I made sure we had his room key stashed in my purse, and we took the elevator down to the second floor for the parking garage. Memories from Friday drifted back to me, as I recalled our elevator trip down with Tom incognito, and then his cheeky reveal to the attendees as we raced out and down to the streets on our afternoon adventure. I wished my heart would cut it out. It was bound and determined to force me to experience all of my memories of Tom from this weekend. If this was how it was going to be, I didn’t know if I could ever work in this hotel again after this was all over.

 

Tom took my hand as we exited on the second floor, and we walked down the hall, through the breezeway, and out to the parking garage where my little car was parked. Arriving early on Thursday, I had been lucky enough to get a parking space on the same level as the breezeway, and I walked us past a handful of parked cars to my little Ford. I unlocked our doors, and we piled in. Turning the key in the ignition, we were greeted with a blast of “Dry the Rain”, and I quickly turned my radio down, embarrassed. I had forgotten to turn it down when I had arrived, opting to sing quite loudly as I had driven down to the event last Thursday. 

 

Tom turned and grinned at me. “No, turn it back up, I want to hear it.” I turned the volume back up to a reasonable listening level, and we roared off into the early evening, in search of the perfect Midwest curry.

Tom had surprised me once again, enjoying my taste in music. I had loaded the USB stick for my car with all of the classic music I liked to listen to as I drove long distances, and as we zipped downtown, through early evening twilight on our way to dinner, we sang loudly along to a few of my travelling selections. After a few tunes that he had recognized, I decided that Tom, did not, in fact, sound like a cat vomiting as he sang along with me as we passed the tall buildings and architecture of the city center. 

 

As we pulled into a posh strip mall located on the outskirts of downtown, we stayed in the car, finishing up a raucous rendition of “Vasoline”. We got out of the car, and I locked it; Tom looked at me over the roof of my car, grinning like a fiend. “I haven’t heard some of those in a very long time. Wow, now I feel old.” 

I turned to face him with a look of astonishment. “Old? Hey now, who are you calling old exactly?” I asked, walking up to him. 

He threw his head back and laughed. “Me! I was calling myself old, not you. I’m surprised you listen to half of what you listen to. You can hardly be anywhere near as old as I.” Tom took my hand and squeezed. 

I narrowed my eyes at him. “I will have you know that I listen to a wide variety of music, sir. My parents were very forgiving with some of my earlier selections, so I have highly eclectic taste.” And we left the topic of just how old I was alone. He brought my hand up to his lips and kissed my fingers, his right eyebrow rising suggestively. I closed my eyes; I would never get used to him looking at me the way he did, and my insides did flip flops as his lips left my hand. I pulled on him and motioned towards the restaurant. “Come on, I’m starved.”

The restaurant was busy for a Monday evening; luckily, we were able to find a quiet table in the back. Tom scanned the menu, and I didn’t bother; I already knew what I was getting. The waiter came and took our drink orders and then scurried away. He returned with our steaming cups of chai, and we placed our orders. Tom had opted for the tandoori chicken, and I was going to have my safe and trusted aloo gobi, with an order of paneer naan. He held my hand as we waited for our dinners, our conversation turning to more examples of my musical taste. My parents had listened to a wide variety of music when I was growing up, before my grandparents had passed away, and they had decided to invest their inheritance and spend their retirement travelling all over the world. We both shared our love of classic R&B my parents always had some Marvin Gaye and Stevie Wonder playing at the house. And when I went to stay with my grandparents, my grandfather always had some Herb Alpert, Louis B Armstrong, or Henry Mancini playing. Then as I became an older teenager and had outgrown Alanis Morissette and Liz Phair, I indulged in a darker taste in music, giving him examples of Bauhaus, Love & Rockets, or Sisters of Mercy. Bless him, he had no idea who they were; he was intrigued, and I giggled, promising him an education of the gothic side of my musical repertoire once we got back to the hotel. 

 

Our meals arrived, and we ate, continuing the verbal dance of getting to know the other better. We talked about our politics and religion, finding that we both felt pretty much the same way about how the world should work. It didn’t escape my attention how alike we were in our core beliefs, and this simultaneously thrilled me and killed something inside of me. It all seemed to be so important, the two of us struggling desperately to get to know as much about the other as possible before our time was up. But then again, it seemed so pointless because our time together was so limited. I was conflicted. On one hand, I wanted very much to get to know him as much as possible, with the blind hope that perhaps he would stay in touch with me because he thought of me as a friend. But I had to constantly remind myself that my hope was indeed blind, and that everything may just come to an immediate and abrupt halt in less than eighteen hours. So with no resolution in sight, we continued talking, after our mains were finished and well into our shared dessert of kheer, and endless cups of hot chai.

 

After our dinner was over, Tom paid, much to my protest, and we drove back to the hotel in the last moments of twilight, again singing along with my music. I was nervous as we approached the hotel; I knew our time was coming to an end, and I had to make a decision. As we sang along with an M83 song, I knew I had to tell him. I wanted to earlier in the weekend, and because of all the mess with Julie, it wouldn’t have been the proper time or place for it. But, now that we were alone and removed from the show, and it was just the two of us, I wanted him to know. I wanted him to know how much I loved him, and how much my time with him had meant to me. I knew it was selfish on my part, to unload this onto him before he left. But, I knew if I didn’t say anything, I’d regret it until the day I died. And who knew if I would ever see the man ever again? I didn’t know that, and I couldn’t hope for that. 

We pulled into the parking garage, and I found a spot close to the breezeway again. And as I put my car into park and pulled my key out of the ignition, I looked at Tom as he smiled at me. I made peace with my decision. I was going to tell him.


	25. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter XXV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is some angst and some serious smut…so proceed with caution. All I’m going to say is…get some tissues. You may need them.
> 
> 32 – Everything – Alanis Morissette http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6kLbDHu0yc  
> 33 – Uninvited – Alanis Morissette http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvgi7P97lu0  
> 34 – My Tears Are Becoming A Sea – M83 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4urR6RaOCTs  
> 35 – These Foolish Things – Della Reese http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1CwnUHJyyA  
> 36 – At Last – Etta James http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-cbOl96RFM  
> 37 – An Affair To Remember – Nat King Cole http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4F093e93P0

We got up to our room, plugged in my MP3 player, put it on shuffle, and got out the bottle of white wine from his fridge, along with two wine glasses. I sat on my side of the couch after Tom poured the wine, and I kicked off my shoes under the coffee table. We both sat with our backs against the arms of the couch, just as we had done four nights ago. We both slid our legs onto the cushions, and he had my foot in his lap, wrapping his long fingers around it and pushing into my arches as my eyes closed in absolute ecstasy. “Everything” began playing softly in the background, and I listened to the old words, working up my courage to talk to him about this weekend. We sat in a companionable silence as the music played quietly, and I took a sip of the sweet wine for courage as his thumbs slid strongly into the length of my foot, and I cleared my throat.

“Tom, I have something that I want to share with you, if I can,” I said, my voice sounding nervous and faltering a bit. He looked up at me, his brows furrowing. “No, it’s not bad. But - I just want you to know, before you leave.”

He stopped pushing his fingers into my arches, but kept his hands wrapped around my foot and waited for me to speak. His silence and complete attention was unnerving, and I took another sip of wine. “I want you know how much of an amazing time I’ve had with you this weekend. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think of meeting you, let alone handling you for an event, and I just want to say thank you, for everything.” 

Tom smiled one of his embarrassed smiles and looked away, his eyes rolling up to the ceiling, and then back to me. “I’ve had the most glorious weekend with you, my darling Rebecca. I couldn’t have asked for anything better. On a professional level, you’ve taken exquisite care of me; anticipating any and all of my needs, and allowing me to just be myself throughout the entire convention. It’s been a joy working with you, my love. Now, on a more personal note, I wouldn’t trade my beautiful secret companion for anything in the world. Thank you for that.” He winked at me and pulled my foot up to his lips, kissing the tips of my toes, making me giggle. He smiled and set my foot back in his lap, and then reached for my other foot, giving it the same treatment as its predecessor. 

“I, uh - I also wanted you to know something else,” I continued. He was looking down at my foot as he worked, and he smiled encouragingly for me to continue. I sighed, hoping this wasn’t going to be awkward. I didn’t really know how to begin. I couldn’t just say, OMG I LOVE YOU, it had to be something eloquent, yet to the point. But how did one share their feelings with someone so important? He was still a human being, and I knew this, but I still struggled with wrapping my head around the persona of Tom Hiddleston. Dammit. I sighed, “This is a weird business. Normal people, thrust into a glamorous situation for a finite amount of time. Sometimes I think it begins to mess with your head, makes you feel that you are just as famous as the people you work with; that you are untouchable, that you can do no wrong. Living on the edge of fame and obscurity is an odd place to be, really. I don’t take any of it for granted, not one minute. I want you to know this is different, this is something that has nothing to do with me being your assistant or my ability to do a good job at an event.” I stopped. I wasn’t sure how to go on. I felt like I was saying a lot of nothing and not getting to my point. I looked up at Tom and he was watching me, his brows furrowed as he listened. Our conversation had taken a different turn, and I knew he must have felt the subtle shift. We weren’t in the business of showering loving praise for the other any longer. I was trying desperately to make a point that I didn’t know if I could. I took a deep breath. “I’ve never done anything like this before, and I know that you know that.”

Tom nodded. “Of course,” he said with another encouraging smile.

I looked away; I was afraid of seeing his face as I continued. “I’m afraid of saying what I want to, but I need to tell you. I would never have slept with you if you had been anyone else. I don’t make a habit of doing that at all, not even with normal people. At first I thought...dammit, it doesn’t matter what I thought - “ I trailed off. I looked up at him; I was tired of feeling like I was hiding and I was exasperated with myself that I was dragging my feet about this. “Tom, I love you. I’ve loved you from afar for a very long time, and now, when I had the chance to meet you, and through everything we’ve experienced this weekend, I can’t deny that my real feelings for you have done nothing but grow into something that I can’t deny any longer. I love you.”

His hands tightened around my foot, his eyes slowly going wide, and his face went blank. I felt suddenly uncomfortable with him holding on to me, so I slid my feet away from him, bringing my knees up to my chin, wrapping my arms around my legs. I rested my chin on my knees, gathering as much courage as I had left. He just watched me, blinking at me with his dark blue-green eyes. I cleared my throat. “I’m not going to beg you to love me, or ask you to take me away with you; that’s not fair to you, and I won’t do that. And I know you don’t love me back; you’ve said so yourself that “love at first sight” doesn’t just happen with you. I’ve read the articles.”

Tom was watching me speak, his face still holding the blank look. He seemed pale, as if all the blood had drained from his face. I sighed, and went on. “All I ask is that you know how I feel about you, that’s all. I know it can’t go past what we have this weekend. Just - just know that I love you, and it’s ok if you don’t love me back. And if that makes you uncomfortable or upset, I would understand. I know this conversation is probably uncomfortable as hell for you anyway - “ I stopped my whispered and strained rambling. Tom was silent. I had no idea what he was thinking. He knew the truth now, and that’s all that mattered to me at this point.

Tom cleared his throat and slowly came towards me on my side of the couch, wrapping his hands around my ankles. I was suddenly very nervous; I could feel the ice water begin to course through me, and my heart pounded loudly in my chest. He just looked at me, his eyes searching mine silently. I could feel his fingers squeeze as we both stared at each other, “Uninvited” playing softly in the background. Slowly, he put his forehead down on my feet; I could feel his quick breath on the tops of my toes, sending an involuntary shiver down my spine. My own breathing was shallow, and feeling his breath on my feet, in this submissive gesture, was tender and heartbreaking, and the ice water quickly replaced with anticipatory desire and a small flicker of hope. He sat up suddenly, his eyes shifting and searching mine, his face flushed and pink with bending forward.

“Rebecca - my darling, I’m not sure I - “ Tom said, his voice trailing off at the end. He didn’t finish his sentence. He just looked at me, his brows furrowing, his mind mulling over the information I had just shared. He was struggling with something, and I was afraid to ask. I moved my hands off my knees and wrapped them around his, which were still wrapped around my ankles.

“Tom, if you can’t say it back to me, if that’s what you’re struggling with, please understand, that if you can’t, it’s alright. You’ve only known me for a handful of days; I can’t expect you to fall head over heels for me.” I smiled at him, my tears coming slowly, and I didn’t care if he saw them. “I’ve cared about you for such a long time, my feelings for you have had time to grow. Granted, it was only one sided, but what I saw in you, I fell in love with. And I’ve carried that with me for a long time now. I’m just grateful that I have had the chance to get to know you for who you really are, to be able to tell you, to have the knowledge that you know. And if all we have is friendship and sex, then so be it. I don’t hold any expectations over you.” I kept watching him, the corners of his mouth turned down in a sad frown, his very blue eyes still searching mine. It killed me knowing I could be causing him any pain, but if I didn’t finish telling him how I felt, I would regret it forever. I sniffled, continuing. “Of course if you feel the same way I do, then I won’t lie, that would be the most wonderful thing in the world. And if not today, maybe tomorrow or next week or next year. Just know, I’ll be waiting for you, when you’re ready to love me. And if that ever happens, or even if it doesn’t –“ I stopped, my throat closing over that possibility. I took a deep breath, my voice shaking over my tears. “We have right now, and how we both feel about the other, at this moment. And I’ll accept it, whatever you feel it needs to be,” I finished, my voice trailing off into a strained whisper.

I watched him closely. Suddenly, he let go of my ankles and moved slowly back to his side of the couch, running his hands through his hair. I wiped the tears from my eyes. I expected this. I had just declared my undying love to Tom Hiddleston, and I couldn’t expect anything less than confusion, and possibly rejection. He turned and faced me, his hands on his knees, taking deep breaths, in and out.

“I can’t - I can’t believe you shared this with me. It’s a noble and brave thing that you did, but - but, Rebecca, I...I need to go for a walk or something. I need to be alone for awhile,” Tom said, his face now truly flushed, and he looked lost. He looked over at me, his right eyebrow raised and furrowed with the other; he looked pitiful. And, with a deep sigh, he slid his shoes back onto his feet, stood up from the couch, and left. I watched him walk to his hotel room door and leave, the click of the door closing and resonating deep within my heart.

I inhaled a shaky breath, squeezing my eyes shut tightly. Despite my expectations and my grown-up sensibilities, there was a tiny part of me that was shattered. I thought about what I had told him, and I cringed. I was so strong and proud that I had told him, but afterthought is always 20/20, and just maybe I shouldn’t have said a word. There was no real reason for him to ever know that I loved him, other than my own selfishness, my desire for him to know. And now, I had given him this burden, unwilling and unasked for, and he was off somewhere in the night, carrying this around with him. Perhaps I shouldn’t have said anything. I should’ve enjoyed what we had for the weekend, and carried my love away after this was all over. I laughed bitterly; just like freaking Arwen, bearing her love to the Western shores... Well, she ended up staying in the end anyway, my nerdy fangirl reminded me, and I promptly told her to shut the hell up. 

I couldn’t sit here and mope about this; I wanted to apologize. I wanted to make this right between us. I didn’t want this to be how we spent our last night together. I needed to go find him. I slipped on my shoes, “My Tears Are Becoming a Sea” began to play softly on my MP3 player, and I rolled my eyes, shutting off my MP3 player as I grabbed my room key and left to go search for Tom.

I searched the main floor of the hotel, slowly scouring the lobby, and any open meeting rooms that I could find. I also ventured outside into the night, walking around the perimeter of the building and checking the patio and pool area; still no sign of him. I walked back inside, rubbing my arms for warmth, and decided to check the hotel bar. I wouldn’t think he would come down here to drown his sorrows when he had a significant amount of free whiskey and wine in his room, but I didn’t know for sure what his mindset was exactly. As I approached, I could hear the sweet, soulful longing of a Coltrane song, and I shook my head, bitterly enjoying the irony. I remembered the hotel had a jazz and blues night on Monday evenings for the older crowd; perhaps Tom was in the bar. 

It was dimly lit, and quite a few of the hotel patrons were here. The DJ for the evening was playing jazz standards, and a handful of couples slow danced on the tiny floor near the DJ booth. I looked over the seats at the bar and the tables and saw no sign of Tom. I walked deeper into the bar and found a seat at the end, deciding that I would have a drink. I didn’t want to go back up to that room, not without him. I couldn’t sit up there and roll up into a ball of self-pity again this weekend. I’d done quite enough of that. I ordered a cosmopolitan, feeling nostalgic for my swing days, and sat, listening to a Della Reese tune. I hadn’t heard this song in a long time, and as I sat and nursed my drink, I thought wistfully about my grandparents, missing them terribly. I missed not being able to talk to them, and I knew my grandmother would be able to give me some sassy sage advice on how to handle one of the biggest fuck up’s I had ever been a part of. She’d look at me over her round glasses with her eyebrow raised, trying not to smile. Then she’d most likely tell me that it didn’t matter what I had done, but how I would handle the present is what would count. And presently, I was swallowing the last of my drink and ordering another one. I knew he had to come back; he really had nowhere else to go. I would just have to wait and pray I didn’t completely sabotage my relationship with him. And I couldn’t lie to myself anymore; we did have a relationship, for what it was worth. Despite him leaving in twelve hours, and me never seeing him again, we were both a part of something, something that affected us both on some sort of emotional level, albeit short lived. And if it was only to be living within this pocket of time, then that’s what it was. And I wanted to make it right between us.

My second cosmo arrived, and I wrapped my fingers around the stem of the glass, sipping at my drink slowly. I could feel the alcohol deep and warm in my knees, and I thought perhaps coming in here for a drink wasn't such a hot idea. The sad and soulful music had lured me inside, fantastically matching my mood, and there were no taksey-backsey’s. I knew I should be up in our room, waiting for Tom, but I just didn’t want to do that right now. I had been a selfish prat for the last hour or so, what would more time sitting and indulging in feeling sorry for myself matter? I decided as I sat on my stool at the end of the bar, listening to fabulous sad jazz. I was going to stay put and drink heavily.

I could hear the opening, soul piercing strings of “At Last” begin in the background, and I felt my heart lurch. It was the song that played at my grandparent’s fiftieth wedding anniversary party, and I smiled, lifting the remainder of my drink in the air in a silent toast to the both of them. I could feel the beginnings of my head going muzzy, and my heart going emotional; I didn’t know if I could sit through the rest of the song, so I decided I should go back upstairs. I set down my glass after a quick and strained swallow, and then felt a hand slid onto my shoulder and squeeze. Startled, I turned around, and Tom was standing right behind me. He looked hurt and said nothing to me as his hand slid down my arm and pulled me off the barstool, leading me to the dance floor.

Our eyes were locked onto each other as he backed onto the dance floor. The mask of indifference slid away as he pulled me into his arms, placing my hand on his shoulder and dropping his fingers with mine. There were no fancy dance moves tonight, not like when we had danced together at the rave on Friday; this was an intimate back and forth sway, his body close to mine, our eyes never leaving the other's.

We were silent as Etta James belted out her plaintive song, his head dropping slowly to mine, our foreheads together, as we had done so many times this weekend. I sighed, my breath shaky as I relaxed into him. As we continued to move slowly, Tom folded our arms in between us, our hands turning and refolding slowly upon the other. I refused to think about anything but this moment. No worry of prying eyes, no worry of the future, no worry of what it meant that he had come to me silently, taken me into his arms, and had decided to dance with me one final time. I wanted to hold onto this moment with him, in this space, with his arms around me, his eyes looking deep into mine, and I wanted to capture it and keep it for the rest of my life. Despite my morose mood, I felt my heart swell with love for him as he moved us slowly across the dance floor.

Etta James flowed into Nat King Cole’s “An Affair to Remember”, and I closed my eyes as the words flowed over the both of us. I rested my chin on our folded hands and quietly choked back the tears that suddenly stung the backs of my eyes. It was overwhelming me. I thought I could handle this, I thought I could be brave, but the reality slammed into me like a ton of bricks. He was leaving for what may, in fact, be forever out of my life, and I wasn’t ready to let him go. I didn’t want to go home; I didn’t want to go back to the life that waited dismally for me. I wanted him to take me away from everything. I wanted the dream of being whisked away by him to his home in London, living and loving each other until the end of forever. I wasn’t going to argue with myself anymore. I was my inner fangirl; she was not separate from me, and I wasn’t going to deny her anymore.

Tom raised my chin with his forefinger, still twined with mine between us, and I looked up at him again, two tears escaping out of the corner of my eyes. Tom looked at me, his own beautiful blue eyes rimmed red, and he blinked quickly at me. Our lips were a scant few inches apart. I could feel our warm breaths, mixing and mingling between us, and he pulled my chin toward him, his lips covering mine in a very gentle kiss.

The song ended, as did our kiss, and Tom pulled us silently from the dance floor, away from the bar, and back up to our room. We were quiet as he turned off all the lights on the lower level and lead us up to our sleeping room through the dark of his hotel room.

Tom got me upstairs, and he undressed me like a child. He untied the bow that rested below my breasts and slipped my blouse off of my shoulders. He then reached up and unzipped my jeans and shimmied them over my hips to puddle onto the murky carpet. Then Tom proceeded to unhook my bra and slipped this off of me, and then hooked his fingers into my undies and pulled these off of me as well. 

I stood there, in the darkness of his room, stark naked, and buzzing from my cosmopolitans, and from the earlier consumption of white wine as he shed his own clothes. I didn’t touch him as he undressed; I didn’t know if he wanted me to. He slipped out of everything he had on, and then pulled me gently against him. Tom’s body was warm, where mine was cool, and he took both of my hands, wrapping them up and around his neck. He then leaned toward me and scooped me up, holding me in his arms. I cradled my head against his shoulder as he lifted me onto the bed, pulling and yanking at the duvet cover so we could slip between the sheets.

I slid in, covering myself, as he slid in to join me, covering me with his very warm body. His legs folded between mine as his arms propped himself up over me, his hands cupping my face. I couldn’t see him looking down at me, but I could feel it. I slid my hands around his waist, resting my hands uncertainly on his hips. We said nothing in the darkness of his room. I could feel his warm breath against my lips as he continued to stare down at me in the dark. 

After many moments of stillness with him, he finally moved, placing his lips on mine softly. I felt tears prick behind my eyes as his lips moved gently over mine, and I ceased thinking. He was careful and soft with me. He tasted my lips at his leisure; there were no bites and no fervent open mouths, seeking satiation with a deep delve of tongues. He kissed me passionately and considerately, taking his time. I strove to remember each second that went by with Tom’s mouth on mine. I had no idea if this would be the last time we made love, and I wanted desperately to remember everything. 

His tongue finally peeked through my lips, and I opened my mouth to receive him. Again, Tom kissed me so slowly, tasting every part of my lips and the inside of my mouth. I could feel his erection between us, causing my belly to swell in anticipation of our eventual joining, and I sighed into his mouth, my fingers tightening on his hips. His body relaxed into mine, feeling my hands on him, and he deepened our kiss, taking my breath away. 

Tom’s lips left mine, trailing along my jaw line and down my throat, his teeth grazing the skin at the base of my neck. He slid his tongue to the juncture of my neck, his lips sucking gently, and then suddenly increased his pressure, and sucked and bit at my skin in earnest. I inhaled sharply, my innards quivering, and I undulated against him, pleased that he was marking me. I squeezed my eyes shut tight, thinking about looking fondly at his mark on my skin in the days that would follow. After he had finished, he slid his tongue over my mark, placing a small kiss on the skin, and began sliding his tongue slowly past my shoulders and over the slope of my breasts. He shifted, resting his weight on one arm, and slipped a warm hand under my breast as his mouth covered the nipple. I gasped quietly, my hands moving up his back slowly, plunging my fingers deep into his hair as his tongue teased and tasted my nipple. I raised my knees around him as he moved to my other breast, giving it the same slow and torturous treatment. 

Moving his attention away from my breasts, he covered them with both his hands and kissed his way down the slope of my belly, his warm body sliding along mine, his tongue swirling around my belly button and making me jump, and I laughed breathlessly and unexpectedly. I could feel him smile against my skin as he continued, down, down, down, to the top of my thighs. 

Finding the position he was most comfortable in, Tom hooked his arms under my legs and around my hips as my knees parted even further to accommodate him. I tipped my head back, my eyes fluttering closed in the dark, my hands deep within his curls, and I felt his tongue slide along the outside of my entrance between my legs. He teased me gently; his lips and tongue were very wet as his lips opened and thrust his tongue deep within me. I inhaled sharply, exhaling with a loud sigh as he slid his tongue deep inside me, over and over. I could feel myself getting wetter as he made love to me with his tongue, and I parted my knees as wide as they could go, thrusting my hips towards his waiting lips. His tongue slithered in and out of me, swirling around my clit, his lips sucking gently, and I felt him shift his arm, his tongue being quickly replaced with two of his very long fingers. I cried out, feeling the subtle difference between the softness of his tongue and the firmness of his hands, and I increased the undulation of my hips, feeling the beginning strains of my orgasm purl and roll through me. He pushed his flattened tongue onto me, alternating between stroking me up and down, to placing his lips over my clit, moaning and vibrating me into senselessness. I could feel his long fingers, curled upwards within me, stroking and circling me on the inside as they were buried deep, and then sliding them out, only to plunge into me once again. I could feel my body tense, my limbs beginning to shake in earnest, my fingers gripping his hair tight, and then I came, my orgasm shattering me into a million red hot pieces as his tongue stilled upon me, his fingers not moving, the tips of his fingers circling slowly on my upper walls. I cried out again, almost to the point of a sob, as I rode his fingers and held his face to me as I finished. 

My breath was coming in deep heaves as he removed his fingers and kissed his way back up my belly, stopping to give each of my nipples some overdue attention, and then sliding his wet lips over mine, his tongue plunging into my mouth as he had moments ago between my legs. I wrapped both my arms and legs around him as he slid his cock deep within me, and didn’t move.

Tom slid his arms under my back and then lifted me on top of him into a sitting position. He slid his legs around me as I sat on the tops of his thighs, impaled upon him, my heels digging into the mattress. We were each wrapped around the other, our faces scant inches apart, my breath mixing in with his. He placed his hands on my hips and rocked me on him as he thrust inside of me. He was buried deep, filling me completely, and I anchored my heels behind his ass, to help us move. My lips found his mouth, my tongue thrusting inside his mouth, matching his cock deep below, and I ran my hands down the flesh of his back, making stripes of my own for him to take with him. Tom growled into my mouth, tearing his lips from mine, his head falling back as his breath quickened. I decided to take the opportunity of his beautiful, vulnerable throat, and I dipped my head, fastening my lips and teeth to his shoulder, biting and sucking on his skin, leaving a mark to match the one he had given me. Tom gasped, as he could feel my teeth on him, and he began to pump his hips towards me vigorously, increasing our speed exponentially. He held my hips fast as he slid in and out of me, bringing himself completely outside, and then plunging deep again. I could feel him harden and lengthen within me, and I knew he was getting close. As he continued to lift me and then thrust me upon him, he moaned, low and deep, his breath coming in hot gasps against my face.

I wrapped my arms tighter around his neck, my cheek against his, and said, “Come for me, my love. I want to feel you deep inside of me. Come for me...” My breath was warm against his ear, and he cried out, almost to the point of a sob of his own. He gripped my hips tight, bringing me down upon him one last and final time, and I could feel his orgasm spill within me, his cock twitching inside. I moaned encouragingly, my tongue peeking out and touching the tiny mole in his left ear. He sounded so young and fragile as he finished, his hands relaxing on my hips and moving to wrap lazily around my waist. I shifted my legs so they could wrap tighter around him, and I pulled his head to my breast, holding on to him as his breath came back to normal. 

We sat, wrapped around each other for what felt like eons, our breathing becoming synchronized as we held onto each other. I didn’t want to move, and Tom seemed not to want to move away either. We held each other, in the darkness of our room, stealing yet another moment of time that didn’t belong to us. But I didn’t care; I was in a selfish mood tonight anyway, and I wanted this to last until the end of time. 

After a while, and after Tom had no choice but to slide out of me, I unwillingly unwrapped my arms and legs from around him, and he left the bed slowly and went to the bathroom. I lay back into the mattress, feeling the absence of his skin against mine, and I rolled up in a ball, trying to hold onto the remaining warmth. After what I had told him, and Tom coming to find me in the hotel bar, and then making love to me, all without words, I didn’t know what any of that meant. Did he love me back? Did he just want one last roll in the hay with me for old time’s sake? I didn’t want to be confused, and I hoped that Tom would try and do his best to explain it to me.

Tom returned from the bathroom, shutting off the light, bearing a warm and wet wash cloth, and I smiled. Ever the gentleman. He handed it to me in the darkness, and I did my own housekeeping. I tossed the washcloth in the general vicinity of the bathroom door as Tom got back into the bed with me.

Silently, Tom pulled me to him and placed my head on his shoulder, as I had for the preceding nights that we had spent together. He still said nothing. I could hear his breathing, deep and even, but not for sleep, not yet. His silence reminded me of what I had done, and how my narrow-minded heart had gotten us into this mess. It was not how I planned this evening. I wanted us to have a casual and romantic dinner, followed by hours of us showing the other how much we were going to miss the other one. But my mouth and my greedy heart got the better of the moment, and I had ruined it, for both of us. But the last hour or so had me confused, and I desperately wanted to know what he was thinking. I placed my hand over his heart tentatively, half expecting him to remove it, but he didn’t. He just lay next to me, breathing quietly in the dark.

“I went for a walk outside,” he said abruptly. “It was quiet mostly, and I headed downtown. It is really beautiful at night. All the lights and the traffic; I wished you were with me as I walked.” He rested his head against mine as he spoke. I remembered our prior adventure downtown the other day, and I smiled sadly to myself. So much had happened in the last few days that it was almost hard to keep up. “I was gone for an hour or so, I think; I wasn’t keeping track of time. I’m sorry if I worried you,” Tom said suddenly.

I rubbed his chest, encouraging him to go on. “Anyway, I just kept walking, and thinking about what you had said. And, like many days before, I weighed all the pros and cons and the facts, and then I forgot all about that, and just let my feelings come.”

I felt my heart skip a beat, and I bit my lower lip. My body tensed with waiting, and I kept silent as he spoke. I didn’t want to ruin this moment, at least what this moment had the possibility of becoming. He ran his hand through my hair and tilted my chin to face him in the darkness. I wasn’t sure I was prepared for anything he could say.

“I’m not going to lie; I’m not good at this. I’ve been hurt in the past for jumping into something that I shouldn’t have. I guess that’s why I haven’t been in a serious relationship for so long. Not only does my schedule not really allow it, but I didn’t think I could be emotionally attached to someone, at least not for a while,” Tom said quietly. He pulled away briefly, rubbing a hand over his face. I felt horrible that he was having this conversation with me, but I was also happy he had chosen to. I’m sure it wasn’t easy for him. “I’ve just - I’ve been so lonely. It’s one thing to go to work on a project and immerse myself within it, and I have the work, but when I’m finished, at the end of the day, I go home, and that’s it. It’s just me. No one to talk to about my day, no one to share my adventures with, just nothing. I have friends, but it’s different when you are in a relationship with someone that you can just be yourself with. Do you know what I mean?” He turned to me and asked. I nodded and knew exactly what he was talking about. Too many times I had come home to my lonely apartment and the only friends I connected with were online, and even then, they were few and far between. 

Tom shifted to his side and faced me. We couldn’t see each other, but it didn’t matter. “I guess what I’m trying to say, and for some reason I’m saying it quite badly, is this. I’m relieved that you shared how you felt about me. I had a suspicion about it, but I passed it off as more fan-worship nonsense. But just being around you, knowing you were there for me if I needed anything, knowing I could talk to you and laugh with you about something we both experienced through the weekend, I felt happy and - I don’t want to use the word but, I felt peace with you. And seeing your face as you watched me from backstage, or when we slept in each other’s arms, I felt your love. And I want you to know that I do feel a certain love for you, my darling, I do. But, I don’t know if it’s the love that you are looking for.”

I closed my eyes, my innards stinging sharply with his answer. I had done my best to mentally and emotionally prepare myself for this moment, and now that it was finally here, it hurt. But I understood. No matter how much I felt for him, or how much I wanted to be with him, Tom could not do the same. And I had to accept all of the brave words that I had said to him earlier this evening. I had to be alright with his refusal of me, and I needed to come to terms with him not having the depth of my love for him reciprocated. And now that it was finally out in the open, and I wasn’t having my ongoing internal dialogue of does he or doesn't he, I could work towards finding a certain conclusion to this. Tom loved me, but he didn’t love-me-love-me. I snorted disdainfully, in my mind, at the childish definition and decided that whatever Tom felt for me had finally reached its resolution.

I placed my hand against his cheek and pulled him to me, finding his lips with mine in the dark, and I kissed him lightly on his mouth. He held me close and returned my kiss. I wished with all that I was that he could say that he loved me, before his last goodbye. He returned my kiss, his lips strong on my own, and I wished for the words to say to him, to have him forgive me for saying what was in my heart. I decided to say nothing, not now. Not with him pressed tightly against me. As he ended our kiss, his forehead against mine in the dark, he knew my heart now, and that’s all I could ask from him. Our stolen time, and his eventual departure, was now starting to fight against what we had, and I begrudgingly accepted that what we had would live in this pocket universe, and our time was quickly coming to a close. But, in that one small chance that he would damn all of the logic and come to love me someday, I would be waiting for him.


	26. I'll Be Waiting, Chapter XXVI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 37 – I’ll Be Waiting – Adele http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2NFIDnUBi8

I slept fitfully; even Tom’s strong arms around me couldn’t keep me from having a string of nightmares throughout the night. I had no recollection of the details, but I woke several times with my heart beating fast in my chest, and in a deep and unsettling panic. Each time, Tom would hum and shush me back to sleep, wrapping me back up against him. I would settle back down, keeping on my side, and eventually falling back to sleep. The last time I woke, I lay there, staring into the predawn, and I wept. I tried not to move or make a sound; I didn’t want Tom to know, but he woke and pulled me tightly to his chest, stroking the top of my head, and quietly telling me he knew. What he knew, I had no idea. Whether it was him leaving, or my heart being broken into a million pieces, I had no idea what he was confirming.

I woke from sleep to Tom’s alarm, groggy and unrested. After shutting off his alarm and checking the time, he held onto me for a few moments, lying quietly in the early morning light. I smiled sadly to myself; seems he had left open his drapes again, and the morning light streamed cheerfully into his room. Feeling him behind me, as he shifted and mumbled sleepily into my hair, I felt a sudden rush of immediate panic and absolute sorrow. Tom’s flight left at noon, and I had to get him to the airport by ten am. I didn’t move to check the time; I had absolutely no desire to. I was only his ride out of here, and I selfishly wanted to steal any second I could get with him. But I knew I had to push away what I wanted, be the grown-up one last time, and take care of my last remaining responsibility of this event. 

Tom turned from me, dragging me with him, and I settled against his chest, one last time. My throat constricted, and I squeezed him. His hand rubbed up and down my back as he rested his head against mine, and I wiggled closer to him. 

“We don’t have much time this morning, my love,” Tom said, his voice groggy from sleep. Dear god, didn’t I know it... I nodded, taking a deep breath and closing my eyes. I took in the smell of his skin, imprinting it onto my memory. My hand reached up, touching his cheek, and then trailing it down the side of his neck, finally sliding over his chest, memorizing each inch of smoothness and imperfection through my fingertips. Tom reached for my hand as it rested over his heart, and he squeezed my fingers, bringing them up to his lips. He kissed the tips and then placed my hand back on his heart. He released my hand, slipping his fingers under my chin to raise my face to his. I opened my eyes slowly, and as I did, a lone tear fell from my eye to puddle onto his chest. Tom smiled down at me, the smile not reaching his eyes. His blue green eyes were a bit bloodshot and red-rimmed, and I felt a pang of guilt knowing I had to be the reason he did not pass the night well, as I hadn’t. 

Suddenly, he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me on top of him and squeezing me tight against his chest. “Oh, my beautiful Rebecca, I am going to miss you terribly,” he said to the top of my head as it rested on his chest. I turned, placing a kiss on his naked chest, tasting his skin one last time.

 

I raised my head to look down at him. Looking into his eyes, I smiled, a few more tears finding their way to flood my vision. “I will miss you too,” I whispered, my voice cracking on the words. Tom smiled grimly, and I lay my head on his chest again. 

 

We lay there for a few more moments, until, with a resigned sigh, Tom unwrapped himself from around me and slid out of the bed. He walked to the bathroom, all naked smooth skin and lanky muscle, and I took the opportunity to watch him. I didn’t want to shy away from any moment with him, not today. I lay in bed by myself, staring up at the ceiling, mentally going over the list of all the things I needed to take care of before we left. I tried to give my mind something to do, other than lament over the fact that in a space of hours, Tom would be gone.

 

After using the facilities, Tom came back out and kept the light on for me. I exited the bed and went to the bathroom to take care of my morning ablutions. I wasn’t going to bother showering; I would just do it when I got home later. And part of me wanted to keep Tom’s scent on me as long as I could. It was silly, but I did not give a shit, not this morning. I exited after I was finished brushing my teeth, and Tom had dressed and his suitcase and carry-on bag were strewn on the bed. I smiled sadly, nodding, and went to retrieve my own carry-on from the closet. I dressed in a casual black skirt that flowed around my ankles, and I had decided to wear my last and final Hiddleston shirt that said Dancer Prancer Loon. 

 

We packed quietly, not saying much to the other. There wasn’t much to say at this point. We had had our long discussions, doing our best to get to know the other, and in the handful of hours we had left, any final words would do us no good. As we gathered and packed our belongings, we did, however, find small ways to keep touching the other. He would be folding something to put in his suitcase as I passed behind him, dragging my hand along his back. Or if I was bent over, shoving something into my secondary bag, he would reach out and curl a lock of hair behind my ear. All these touches were met with both of us smiling sadly up at the other one, trying our best to be brave.

 

After successfully packing up the upper floor, Tom and I hauled our luggage downstairs and stacked everything next to his door. I took up the task of emptying out his fridge and loading the box that Matt had brought over on Sunday evening. I packed everything that was left, including his remaining bottles of Jameson and his chocolate Hobnob’s. I knew he couldn’t take any of this on the flight with him, so I decided to take care of it for him. He still had one unopened bottle, and I toyed with whether I should mail it along with all of the gifts his fans had brought for him. 

 

Tom called down to the front desk, requesting a porter to bring up a cart from the hotel to load our luggage. I set the box down next to the luggage, and then decided to make a sweep of the entire room to make sure nothing was left behind. Tom stayed downstairs as I went back up. I went into the bathroom and checked for abandoned toiletries, finding none. I shut off the light and opened his closet, seeing nothing either. I approached the bed, and I stopped at the head. My throat tightened, and I reached down for the pillow he used. I remembered my first fragile night here, and my wistful memories of my silly Tom Pillow. I laughed bitterly, my tears flowing freely as I held it to me, taking in his scent and quietly falling to pieces. I gripped the soft down to me, my tears soaking the cotton fabric. For a fleeting moment, I wished I could steal his pillow and take it with me, but I knew that would reflect badly on Tom; it was his room after all. I rubbed the soft cotton against my cheek and whispered quietly, “You will never know how much I love you, and how much you’ve changed my life. Thank you, for being you.” I wiped my eyes on the fabric and put the pillow back on the bed. I sniffled and took a deep breath, then walked slowly back down the stairs to wait for the porter.

 

Tom was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed as I came down. He turned to me and smiled shyly. I smiled grimly, my hands deep in the pockets of my Loki’s Army hoodie, and I stood near him, feeling strangely uncomfortable. We stood in silence for a few moments; my eyes were on the floor in front of me, looking at the toes of my Mary Jane flats. I felt like I should say something; uncomfortable silences always bothered me. Especially today. I looked up at Tom, and his eyes were on me, staring quietly. His cheeks were blotched red and his lips were turned down at the corners as he watched me. I could feel my lower lip beginning to tremble. 

 

We lurched towards each other at the same exact moment, wrapping our arms around the other, our lips crashing in a furious, deep kiss. Tom spun me around, pushing me up against the wall he had just vacated, his lips moving over mine fervently. My breath came in a harsh gasp as I pulled from him, shoving my hands to his jeans and unbuttoning them as quickly as I could. He had reached down awkwardly as I did this, rucking up my skirt and pulling down my undies. I helped wiggle them down the length of my legs as I shoved his jeans past his hips. Our breath was coming in heated pants as he shoved my skirt high on my hips and positioned himself between my knees. I hooked one of my legs around his to hold on as he pushed up inside me, one last time.

 

He pressed his forehead into mine, his eyes blending into an ocean of blues and greens. “I’m so sorry, my love. I have to have you... One. Last. Time.” Tom said this, his voice strained and cracked. 

 

I nodded, feeling him move within me, and the tears I had bottled up from upstairs flowed freely as he had me up against the wall of our room. “Yes, please....yes!” was all I could get out as he slid in and out of me. Our lovemaking was quick and furious, each of us straining to touch and taste the other as much as we could in the few private moments we had left of the other. Tom came quickly, his body pushing against mine, flushed with sweat and heat. 

 

I held him to me, feeling his cock twitch with his orgasm inside me, and I bit my lip, my tears never stopping. I kissed his moist cheek and whispered in his ear, “I love you, please don’t forget about me.” 

 

Tom’s body trembled and he nodded, and for the first time that I had ever witnessed, he was speechless. His cheek was against mine, and he moaned quietly in my ear, a sad, plaintive, breathy cry that wrenched my heart in two. He pulled away quickly and kissed me hard on the mouth. “I won’t ever forget you, my love. I guarantee it.” Tom looked me in the eye as he said this and nodded again, as if to affirm this to him as well as to me.

 

The polite knock on the door announced the arrival of our porter, and Tom slipped quickly out of me and pulled up his jeans to answer the door. I pulled up my undies and pulled down my skirt, my hand running through my hair. I made sure the rest of my clothing was in its proper place, and then went to the downstairs bathroom for tissue to mop up my face.

 

Exiting, I saw that Tom and the porter had loaded all of our luggage and the goodie box I was taking home with me onto the shiny brass hotel cart. After a quick scan of the downstairs, we left the room. We made our way down in the elevator, and went into the parking garage to load up my car. 

After packing my car, I slipped the porter a five, and we stood outside in the cool October morning. We still had about an hour before we needed to get to the airport for his flight, and I wasn’t sure what we should do. 

 

Luckily, Tom made the decision for us. He smiled, grabbing my hand, and said, “Let’s get some breakfast in us, I’m starved.” We walked back through the breezeway, hand in hand, and took the elevator down to the first floor lobby, going into the restaurant for a late breakfast. 

 

Tom ordered our meal for us. I was finding that I was a worthless emotional lump this morning, and I had the personality of a wet mop. The server brought our carafe of hot coffee, and I loaded up my mug with cream and sugar as Tom poured the steaming hot liquid into my cup. I sipped at it gingerly, waiting for my breakfast to arrive. Tom had chosen to sit beside me in the booth this morning, and we sat very close, always making sure we were touching. As I set down my coffee mug, I remembered the last bit of business that I had to take care of under my official duties as his handler.

 

“Hey, I need your address so I can send your fan gifts to you. Not sure you can take all of that with you on the plane,” I said, smiling quietly. 

 

Tom grinned, his eyes lighting up briefly. “Sure, I’ll text it to you right now.” He pulled out his phone and texted his home address to me, and for a fleeting, giddy moment, it occurred to me that I would have his address. His HOME address. I would know exactly where in London to find him, if I ever had the inclination to pack up and take a chance. But I halted that line of thinking, remaining professional about this information, and making sure I didn’t break his trust as his handler not to abuse any personal info he gave to me. I was not Julie, and I was apparently the best in the business, for whatever that was worth. But it was a pretty amazing thought...

 

As his text arrived on my phone, I saved the information in my phone, and our meals arrived. We both ate, making minimal chit chat, and just enjoyed being next to each other for the rest of the time we had left.

 

After breakfast was finished, and the carafe of coffee was emptied, I paid for breakfast, much to Tom’s protest, and we made our way slowly out to the hotel lobby. I looked around at the interior, taking in all of the new hotel remodel, and I sighed, smiling sadly. Tom blinked at me and inclined his head, indicating it was time to go. I nodded silently, and he took my hand, and we walked back to the parking garage.

 

The airport was about twenty minutes away, and we made our way out of downtown and up onto the highway, zipping away from downtown, and on to the outskirts of town where the airport was located. I chose not to play any music as I drove. I didn’t want anything else of mine tied to him as I drove him to the airport and out of my life. Tom sat on his side of the car and looked out the window at the passing scenery, holding my hand as we drove, his thumb rubbing the palm of my hand softly. I kept taking deep and cleansing breaths; each mile we got closer to the airport made me skittish and heartbroken, and I just had to get through the next thirty minutes with him. Then I would break down into a puddle of sorrow before I drove the three hours back to my apartment. 

 

I drove the winding road that lead to the pickup and drop off area in front of his terminal. I parked my car close to the curb and closed my eyes, shutting off the engine and taking another deep breath. Tom turned to me with a sad smile, sliding his hand along my cheek and looking deeply into my eyes. He pulled me towards him, his forehead resting against mine, and I reached up and covered his hand with my own. We said nothing; we just looked at the other, taking each other in, one last time. After a few fleeting moments, Tom closed his eyes and kissed me gently on the lips. I kept myself from beginning the crying jag that I desperately wanted to start and returned his kiss, being as brave as I could. He pulled away, and we both exited my car. 

 

I walked to the back of my car and popped my trunk, Tom pulling out his carry-on and his suitcase and placing them on the curb next to my car. I shut the lid and we stood in front of the other. He took my hands in his, his fingers twining through mine, looking down at me.

 

“It wasn’t just a line, my love. I won’t ever forget you, or this amazing weekend with you,” Tom said, his eyes misting. Seeing him allowing his emotions come to the surface made my throat squeeze with hurt.

 

“I know. I’m not sure you have it in you to lie,” I said, and I meant it. 

 

Tom smiled sadly and laughed quietly. “Well, I am an actor, my love. We are all liars. But not about this. I would never lie about this.” 

 

I nodded, squeezing his fingers that were still in mine. “I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have told you -” I was interrupted by his hand leaving mine, and he placed a finger on my lips. I closed my eyes, feeling his touch on my lips and remembering wistfully all the times he had silenced me over the weekend.

 

“Don’t apologize; never apologize about expressing your true feelings, not to anyone. There is nothing to forgive, my love. I’m glad you told me, I told you that last night,” he said, removing his finger from my lips and holding my hand again.

 

“I know. I just - I just felt selfish, loading that on your shoulders before you left. I just wanted you to know. I wanted you to know that someone here on the other side of the pond loves you desperately, or at least wants to,” I said, laughing despite myself. 

 

Tom laughed with me, his eyes closing and his tongue peeking out over his teeth. I smiled, genuinely this time, for a small moment watching him and forgetting where we were and what it was we were actually doing. He pulled me in his arms suddenly, crushing me against him, his chin resting on the top of my head. He rubbed my back as we squeezed each other, knowing this was absolutely it, and neither of us wanted to go. 

 

We held onto the other, never lessening our grip, locked into this moment as a chilly October breeze blew around us. I inhaled deeply, smelling his body wash mixed with the sharpness of his leather jacket, and I relaxed into him.

 

Tom pulled away, rubbing his hands up and down my arms. He smiled his cheeky smile and turned to the curb for his waiting luggage. I took an involuntary step forward, wanting to follow, but I knew I couldn’t. I stopped, watching him pull his leather messenger bag over his head, slinging this across his body and unlatching the handle on his carry-on. He was ready to leave. 

 

Tom turned back to me and smiled at me, one final time. I didn’t move. I knew if I did, I would make a scene, and I would be damned if I did that. Tom didn’t move towards me either, and I wondered idly if it was for the same reason.

 

“I’ll be seeing you,” he said, and with a wink, he turned and walked towards his terminal. I took a deep breath and turned away; I couldn’t watch him walk away from me and out of my life. If I kept the mental picture of him, standing and grinning at me on this curb, perhaps he would stay frozen there, and be there forever in my mind. I looked out at short term parking, feeling my lower lip tremble, my tears starting to come once more. The chilly wind started to whip around me strongly, and I was starting to get cold. I needed to get in my car and drive away. It was time. 

 

I took a deep breath and fiddled with my keys, my eyes blurry and not seeing, when I heard something drop behind me, and I was spun around by strong arms and pulled into a deep, soul crushing kiss. I moaned sadly, wrapping my arms around Tom’s neck and jumping, my legs wrapping and resting around his hips. His tongue thrust deep into my mouth and my body responded immediately. He held onto my hips, kissing me deeply and absolutely senseless. After holding each other, our arms locked strongly around the other, I unhooked my ankles from him and slid slowly down the length of his body, my lips never leaving his.

 

Tom broke away from me, his hands on the sides of my face, his forehead pressing hard into my own. His eyes shifted back and forth, searching mine as his brow furrowed, his cheeks flushing hot and his eyes brimming with unshed tears. “I will never forget you, Rebecca Wright, not as long as I live. A part of you goes with me, and I will treasure our time together, forever. And for what it’s worth, I do love you, in my own way. But dammit, don’t forget, I do love you.” And with that, he kissed me hard on the lips once more, taking my bottom lip into his mouth, his teeth nibbling one final time. My body wracked with a restrained sob as I returned his kiss, wishing with all my heart that I had brought my passport with me. He pulled from me, finally, grabbing his bag and his carry-on, his face fraught with a sadness I had never seen on his face before, and my heart broke once more as he swiped at his tears and left me standing behind my car. 

 

I couldn’t take it anymore; I walked quickly to my car and got inside. I turned the key in the ignition and I drove blindly away from the airport, holding in my tears until I could get near the on-ramp to the highway. I turned on my music, trying desperately to distract myself from driving away from the one man that I truly loved, and who apparently loved me back, but in his own way, whatever the hell that meant. As one song ended and the other began, Adele began playing, and I almost lost it. I drove for a bit until I couldn’t contain it any longer, and I pulled over to the side of the road and completely and absolutely lost my shit.


	27. I'll Be Waiting, Fin

I didn’t remember the drive home. The scenery went by in a blurry haze of tears and regrets, and frankly, I was surprised when I pulled into my apartment complex parking lot in one piece. I unassed my car, dragging my bags and my carry-on up the steps to my apartment. I let myself in, shutting the door behind me, and let the silence of my dark apartment settle deep within me. I was home, but I didn’t feel like I belonged here. I dragged all of my gear to my bedroom and dropped everything on the floor where I stood. I went back out to my car for Matt’s goodie box, and I took this to my tiny kitchen table. I went back to my bedroom and smiled grimly at my made bed, remembering making it before I left on the morning to go to Brian’s event. My heart hurt so much, and fresh tears welled and fell down my cheeks. I had been leaking continuously for a good three hours, and I was sick of it. I wanted to be cried out, but my heart wouldn’t allow it.

 

I decided the best thing for me was to get back into my routine, so I picked up my carry-on and hauled it onto the bed to unpack, wiping away my tears for the eighty seventh time today. I unzipped the cover and flipped it open; seeing all my clothes shoved unceremoniously into the plastic bag I had placed them in at the hotel. I pulled out the sack, walked them out of my bedroom, and put them in the kitchen where my washer and dryer were. I dropped the sack onto the floor and went back to my room to look for any straggling laundry. Not finding anything else in my carry-on, I pulled out my toiletry kit and threw this on the bed, along with all of my shoes, zipping my suitcase back up and walking it to the front of my closet to stow away later. 

 

I continued to unpack all of my other bags, save my messenger bag, until everything was in its proper place throughout my apartment. It was getting dark outside, and I should have been hungry for dinner, but I had no appetite to eat anything. I was exhausted from heartbreak and tearful goodbyes; I had no stomach for food. I decided on a cup of chai, so I trudged to my kitchen to put the kettle on and to start my laundry. I filled my kettle and, setting it on the back burner; I went to the little alcove that was my tiny laundry room. I took up the sack from the floor and dumped the contents of my dirty laundry into the empty laundry basket that sat on my dryer. I choked off an involuntary sob as Tom’s smell wafted up at me, enveloping me and crushing my heart again. I could feel my lower lip tremble with tears yet again as I slowly pulled out my Wendy shirt and clutched it to my chest, sinking to the cold tile in front of my dryer. I curled in on myself, holding my shirt to my nose, smelling us both on my t-shirt fabric. I had been so good, so brave, telling myself to take the last five days for what they were. A once in a lifetime moment that was stolen and gifted to me by some god, that what I got was going to be all there was going to be. And I needed to be fine with that. But my body wracked with grief, and I curled my body even tighter, my weeping grief taking hold of me like a dark lover and wrenching the last of any sanity I had left within me. Oh god, I missed him. It had only been a space of three hours, and my body and my spirit yearned for him so much I felt like I didn’t know if I would recover from this. None of this was planned, none of this desolation was asked for, yet here I was, lying on the floor of my laundry room, holding onto the tiniest shred of something from him. 

 

The blinding whistle of the kettle broke me out of my funk. I sat up, my eyes puffy and swollen, my throat scratched and rough from my sobbing. I got up, my shirt still clutched to my chest, and moved the kettle to another burner and shut off my cook top. I shoved my shirt under my arm, slowly making my cup of tea, and walked my mug to my bedroom, my laundry forgotten. I wasn’t washing a goddamned thing tonight, not while the smell of Tom lingered through them. I couldn’t handle washing his memory away, not yet.

 

I went to the desk in my bedroom and powered on my monitor. Setting down my mug to steep, I sat down and put my shirt in my lap. Immediately, I was met with my open browser, my tabs open to my email, Facebook, and my old friend Tumblr. I wasn’t ready for that, not right now. I clicked on my email to see what I missed, if anything. Past all the male enhancement, heirs to an African fortune, and other random and meaningless emails, I saw that Brian had written to me. Curious, I clicked on the message:

 

“Hey, kiddo! I hope you made it back alright. I hadn’t heard from you yet, so I thought I’d check in. :) You’ll notice there are quite a few attachments to the email. I’ve been going through all the photos from the con, and I thought I’d forward them to you. 

 

I want you to know that what I sent are the originals. I had Ken give the SD card to me, so they won't pop up on the internet anywhere. All I have to say is I’m glad you came and bailed me out once again. And, I hope you enjoy what I sent, my friend. :P

 

I love you and I hope to see you soon, pretty lady.”

 

I took a sip of my tea and opened up the attachment folder. It took a moment for my photo viewer to open, but when it did, I had to set down my tea. My heart leapt into my throat and I exhaled sharply. I covered my mouth and saw the first of the candid’s of Tom and me. I had completely forgotten the official convention photographer had skulked about through the event the entire weekend, and he had managed to get shots of Tom and me at a few of his public appearances. We both obviously had no idea that any of the photos were taken; they were candid’s after all. But you could not look at these photos and not know that something was going on with us. 

 

The first shot was of the two of us backstage at opening ceremonies. I had just handed him his water bottle before he was to go on stage, and I was on tiptoe, whispering in his ear. It was the moment when he had asked me what he had going on later that evening, and I smiled, remembering even in my heels having stretch to whisper in his ear.

 

I clicked the next one and giggled unexpectedly. It was taken on Friday night at the dance, and Tom had just spun me away from him, our arms outstretched and both of us smiling like loons. God, he was sweaty and gorgeous and looked amazingly happy. 

 

I bit my lower lip and clicked for the next photo. The next one was of us in the street a little later, walking back to the hotel after dancing. Tom’s arms were up in the air, yelling at the con-goers that were yelling at him that night in front of the convention center, and I was bent over laughing. I started giggling again, in spite of myself. Seeing his face, his beautiful mouth shaped in an O, his arms glistening with sweat as we made our way back to the hotel. I squeezed my shirt to me again, remembering what had come next in that night's festivities. I looked down at my Wendy shirt; my heart clenched a bit and I squeezed my eyes shut. I took a deep breath and exhaled, clicking on the next photo.

 

The fourth photo was of us backstage, with me handing him his water bottle yet again, but this time, the photographer caught Tom making a silly face at me as I smiled up at him. I hadn’t noticed that morning, but we were standing quite close to the other before he went out on stage for his first panel. Oh, you could definitely tell by our innocent body language that something was up. We weren’t doing anything wrong, but the look on my face said it all. No wonder Brian took all the originals from Ken. He didn’t want these to get out on the internet. I couldn’t blame him. I silently thanked Brian in my heart, and clicked for the next photo.

 

I covered my mouth with my hand and my eyes widened. Ken must have been lurking in the wings mostly that day, because the next shot was of Tom and I, our hands had just detached from the other, and we were both looking at the other; the looks on our faces were guilty and mischievous as hell. I remembered when this had happened. We had just finished steaming up the convention bathroom, and I was hustling him back for his first autograph session. We were both turned to our sides, facing the camera, but anyone who had half a brain could figure out what we had just done. Tom and I were both in profile and flushed; my cheeks and neck were red, and I was looking at Tom like I was going to devour him. The breath caught in my throat, embarrassed and pleased as hell that this moment was captured. 

 

The next photo I clicked was taken at the dinner. It was innocent enough, but it was enough to make my insides quiver. We were in profile again, and looking at the other one. I was looking up at him, my head resting in my hand that was propped up on the table, grinning, and he must have just finished laughing; his tongue was peeking out over his teeth, but he was looking at me. Aw, it was the cutest shot I had seen so far, and I laughed again quietly.

 

I took another sip of my tea and chose the next photo. It was at the Sunday autograph session and we were both sitting behind his table. I was reaching down into my bag, smiling up at him, and he was grinning mischievously down at me. Nope, this was the best of them all, so far. My chin was raised as I looked up at him, and his head was close to my own. If I hadn’t known that he was about to pull back at any moment, I’d think he was going in for a kiss. I took a deep breath and clicked the last photo.

 

I inhaled sharply and just about fell out of my chair. It was backstage again, but right after closing ceremonies, and Tom and I were holding each other in the dimness of the wings. The photo caught both of our faces; both of our eyes were closed, my head against Tom’s chest with his cheek resting on the top of my head. The serenity and emotion we both had on our exhausted faces took my breath away, and I could feel fresh tears begin. Oh god, it was beautiful. THIS, this was my favorite, and I silently thanked Ken the creepy con photographer for capturing my weekend so I would never forget that it had actually happened.

 

I saved the photos in a folder on my desktop, and then immediately changed my background settings to use them as a slideshow. I wanted to see us; I wanted to be reminded that this amazing thing really did happen. 

 

I had to call Brian; an email wouldn’t do. I wanted to thank him for the gift he had given me. And I knew now that he had to have known what had happened this weekend; the man wasn't stupid. And he was my friend, and I loved him even more for doing this for me. I got up and went to my messenger bag and dug around for my phone. I couldn’t remember quite where I put it, and I wasn’t feeling it in the depths of my bag. I turned the bag over and dumped out the contents, all of my miscellanea from the weekend scattering haphazardly on my bed. I saw my phone bounce on the bed next to my black and grey hound’s-tooth scarf, and as I reached for it, a small brown sack caught my eye. I hadn’t remembered putting a small sack in my bag, so I grabbed it from amongst the folds of my woolen scarf to take a peek at what it could be.

 

Inside was a thick wad of folded up paper and a small plastic baggy with something shiny and metallic inside. Now I was completely confused. I sat on the bed and took out the paper, which turned out to be several small sheets of folded white note paper. Opening what could only be a note of some kind, I gasped, slapping my hand across my mouth. I recognized the handwriting, and I almost choked as I began to read:

 

“My darling Rebecca,  
As I write this, you are lying quite naked and sleeping in our bed, and the thought of you up there, dreaming of me, warms my heart to no end. I wanted to share with you how much this weekend has meant to me, how much I’ve enjoyed our time together, and how much I’m going to miss seeing your beautiful face waking up next to mine. My love, know that it breaks something inside of me, knowing that our time is short. But know that I carry you within my heart, and my soul, as I can only assume that you carry me within yours. I know the memory of our time together will be treasured by us both, and know that this glorious adventure with you was not in vain. If I had the power to change our circumstances, know that I would do so in a heartbeat. But, alas, I cannot. So we both must go on, and hold on to the hope that someday, our paths will cross once more. My beautiful darling, know that you are loved from across the ocean, and I will always believe in you, even when you do not believe in yourself.  
With all of my love, your Tom”

 

I let my head fall back as I closed my eyes, two hot tears streaming down my cheeks. I shook my head and I felt my mouth dip into a deep frown of sadness. I took a deep breath, pulled my head back up, and re-read my letter. I couldn’t believe he had done this. I remembered lamenting foolishly on the drive home that I didn’t even get his autograph or a photo with him, and in the space of thirty minutes, I had both. And better than just a fan photo and a sterile signature, I had photos that captured the weekend, and a very personal letter to me, from my Tom. I folded the letter, written on the hotel stationary, and held it to my heart. Remembering the glint I saw in the depths of the brown sack, I opened it, and then saw the tiny plastic bag lying at the bottom. I pulled this out, and it was a small zippered bag that contained a silver band. I felt my eyes widen, and my unshed tears fell out of my eyes onto my arms as I looked at this ring in the palm of my hand. I opened the bag and pulled it out. It was a little big; I wasn’t sure I could wear it. I recognized it; it was one of the jewelry pieces that were sold in the dealer’s room when I had taken Tom in for his walk around, and he was chatting with the vendor about his little figurine. Oh my god, when did he get this? I had no idea when he would have had the chance; I was with him the entire time on Sunday. Dammit, I wished I could ask him. But he was currently boarding his connecting flight in Chicago, and I didn’t even know if he had his phone turned on. It didn’t matter. Perhaps I would message him later. I looked back down at my palm at the ring, marveling that he had taken the time to even think to get me a memento of the weekend. The outside was smooth as a wedding band, but the inside had something engraved inside. I looked closer and it said, “Tempest A3 S1 L64-67, T.H.” I cradled the ring in my hand and went to my computer immediately. I had never read The Tempest, and knowing Tom, he knew it off the top of his head. I googled Act 3, Scene 1, Lines 64-67 and found a page that had it listed:

 

“The very instant that I saw you, did my heart fly to your service; there resides, to make me slave to it.”

 

I read the words, smiling through my tears at the beautiful words Tom had chosen to inscribe on my gift. I looked at the ring resting in my palm, and then decided to slip it onto my right thumb. It fit perfectly. I had something of his to look upon, a talisman that could help me get through my mundane life. And he had taught me that I didn’t have to live this cold existence; that I could reach for the stars, be myself, and find who I was, and what I wanted to do with my life. Through his love and kindness, he had set me free. And, if he ever wanted to join me on a new adventure, I would be here, waiting for him when he was ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to thank everyone that slogged thru all of my muddled words. :) This is my first fic, ever. I am always happy to hear from any of my readers, and if anyone has any questions or comments, please feel free to message me. :) 
> 
> For anyone that can not get enough of these two, I am currently working on Part II. :D I'm about halfway finished, and I will begin to post them after they've been beta'd and reviewed.
> 
> Thank you all again, seriously! <3


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